The Christmas Secret (21 page)

“Got it all done today,” I said, slipping the money into my wallet. “See you tomorrow.” I pushed open the back door and the wind caught my breath. Holding my purse to my chest I ran across the parking lot for the car. I reached for the handle when something caught my eye. I stepped to the rear of the car; the trunk was open. I lifted it and gasped. Everything was gone.

 

 

 

 

I spun in every direction. I'm not sure what I was hoping I'd see: a woman about to put the sacks into her car or a man walking across the lot saying, “Oops, I accidentally took these out of your trunk.” The trunk hadn't been pried open; there weren't any scratches or gouges. Somehow I hadn't closed it all the way and I knew it. I sat in the car and cried for what I'd done and lost and the reality of how all you get for pain is more pain.

I called when I got to Glory's Place and told them I was too sick to come inside for the kids; in truth, I was. They sent Zach and Haley out to me and I half-listened as they told me about their night.

“Is something wrong, Mom?” Haley asked after she brushed her teeth. I shook my head and held the blankets up so she could crawl into bed.

“Can you read?” Zach asked.

“It's too late,” I said. “Let's make up for it tomorrow.” He didn't argue but lay down. I sat on the edge of his bed.

“What is Christmas, Zach?”

He furrowed his brows and screwed up his face. “Huh?”

“What is it to you?”

“It's Jesus' birthday,” he said.

“So why do we give gifts?”

“You said it was because God gave Jesus to us as a gift of love so we give gifts to say we love people.”

I was beat and couldn't smile. “What if there weren't any presents? Would you still know how much I love you?” Tears were in my eyes and I concentrated hard so they wouldn't fall.

He lifted himself up and wrapped his arms around my neck, squeezing it. “It's okay, Mom,” he said. “We have a lot of stuff.” I reached for the light beside his bed before I started to cry and kissed his forehead. I couldn't speak.

The lights from the Christmas tree filled the living room with a soft half-light and I noticed the letter under the tree. I grabbed it and pulled it from the envelope.
God, help me
, it said. I was so weary of plodding my way through life. It seemed that I'd just come up for air when something else pulled me down. I ripped up the letter, shoved it back inside the envelope, and lay down on the sofa. The vision of someone taking the kids' toys raced through my mind. Some people would have closed the trunk in an act of kindness but not this jerk. He or she saw two bags of gifts and
didn't look to see what they were; it didn't matter. I didn't matter. My kids didn't matter. Sleep wouldn't come for hours.

 

Marshall and Jason pulled into Glory's Place a little after nine. The call for volunteers had gone out a few days before: help was needed to box the donations and deliver them to families. A small assembly line had been created on the far end of the building, away from the basketball court and activities. Dalton and Heddy were leading this first group of volunteers that included Marshall. “I always know Christmas is close when you come in to volunteer,” Dalton said.

Marshall smiled. He and Dalton had been doing this together for years. “Where's Gloria?” Marshall asked.

“She and Miriam are second string today,” Dalton said. He moved next to Marshall and looked over the list on his clipboard. “You look tired, Marshall.”

“Ah, just this season. I'm getting tired of working through Christmas. Linda went away to visit the kids and that worked for a long time but now I'm just tired of it.”

Dalton patted him on the back. “You've got an anniversary coming up, right?”

“He can remember yours but ours slips by him,” Heddy said, shaking her head.

“I was a day late!” Dalton said, yelling over his shoulder.
He looked at Marshall. “Maybe that'd be a good time to make some changes.”

“He'll help you change but forty years later I still can't get him to pick up his socks,” Heddy said.

“It takes a while to form a habit,” Dalton said, winking at Marshall. “All right,” he said, banging his hand against the clipboard. “Let's load these boxes and stack them against the wall.”

Someone put in a bottle of shampoo and moved the box to the next person who placed a tube of toothpaste and two toothbrushes. The box made its way down the table and each person put in deodorant, rice, canned beans and corn, cereal, peanut butter, crackers, flour, sugar, hats, gloves, socks, and shoes: one child's pair and one adult's pair according to the sizes written on the side of the box. Several boxes contained two small toys for younger children. One day Gloria hoped to provide more for each family but she relied solely on donations and each year they were able to give a little more than the year before. Families would pick up the boxes between now and Christmas and whatever boxes were left would be hand delivered.

Jason stacked the last of the boxes and stepped into Gloria's office to call his headhunter about a job. The call came late yesterday as Jason was finishing at Wilson's. “The firm's well established,” Louis said. “They've been in business since 1948. They have an expanding client list and need more
accountants. You fit their profile to a T.” The money was great and the job started January 2. Jason dialed Louis on his cell phone. The interview was set for Tuesday afternoon.

 

“Where are you going for Christmas?” Haley asked, dropping a black chip into a slot of Connect Four. “I don't really know,” Jason said, dropping in a red chip. “I'm going to have a job interview right before Christmas so I might just hang out and stay with my friends.”

“Boring,” Haley said, dropping in another black chip. She wasn't even close to getting four in a row. “Are you going to move away?”

Jason dropped in another chip. He could have won a few turns ago but kept the game alive for her sake. “Maybe. I need to find a job in accounting. That's what I do.”

She shook her head. “No, you don't. You help kids.”

No one had ever described him as someone who helped kids. “I'm just doing this through Christmas.”

“Then you won't help kids anymore?”

“This really isn't my thing. I'm good at accounting,” he said, dropping in a chip away from hers so she could win.

“No, you're not.”

“Do you even know what accounting is?”

“Nope,” she said, dropping in a black chip to win. “But I know you're good helping kids.”

He cleaned up the game and ignored what she said.

 

.    .    .

 

I wasn't in the mood for little Lovey Love or his indulgent mother today. His rounded, diapered butt ran at least ten laps from the display case to the table and back and he never listened when his mother asked him to “Sit down, Lovey Love.” I stepped around him a dozen times and exchanged glances with Karen. When Lovey Love reached for my tray and sent the dirty dishes stacked on it clanging to the floor I'd had enough. I knelt in front of him as I cleaned up the broken pieces and said through my teeth, “Get in your seat and
stay
in your seat.” His eyes grew round and large as he backed up to a chair and sat down.

“It's all right, Christine,” Betty said. “We'll get it. Take a break.” I walked to the kitchen and pressed a tissue to my eyes.

“What's up?” Betty was behind me but I couldn't face her. I had disrespected a customer and this wasn't going to go well. “You've got Lovey Love trembling in his diaper. All this time no one knew how to get Lovey Love's little butt in a seat and you took care of it with one tray of broken dishes.”

I laughed out loud and dried my eyes. “I'm sorry, Betty.”

“His mother should be sorry but she hasn't said a word. What's happening?”

“Just a really bad night. My car was broken into.”

I didn't tell Betty what was taken; I never got the chance. Her hands were waving around her head as she marched to
her office, “Did you hear that, Craig?” Craig flipped a row of French toast and craned his neck to hear her. “I'm going to call about getting some more lights in that lot. No! A security man. That's what I need!” She flopped the phone book on top of her desk. “Craig! How do I find one of those security men?” Craig listened to her babble and finally looked at me. I shrugged and walked back to my tables.

Lovey Love and his mother were gone but TS was at their table. He was handsome and charming but I couldn't take it today. “Listen,” he said, standing as I approached the table. “I'm not that guy that you think I am.” I tried to step back but he grabbed my arm. “Ashley and I dated some in college.” She had a lovely name and a beautiful face to go with it. “We've tried to make it work out of college but it doesn't. She came here and I told her it was over. We weren't even dating anymore.”

I pulled away and walked past him to the waitress station to fill five glasses with water. “So she was just some crazy who
thought
she was dating you so she made a trip out of her way to come here and kiss you?”

He leaned close to me. “I know it sounds ridiculous but yes. There's nothing there and you have to believe me.”

“Why should I believe you? I don't even know you. And you don't know me.”

He grabbed my arm and turned me to face him. I could sense Karen eavesdropping. “But I want to know you. If I
didn't want to know you would I eat the driest boiled egg in the history of the world?” That made me smile. “Would I eat here time and again if I didn't want to know you? Would I send a woman packing who wanted to kiss me? I know I could kiss her but I don't want to. I want to kiss you if you'd ever let me.” He loosened his grip and looked at me. “Someone asked me if there was anything that left me breathless and humbled at the beauty of it. Up until two weeks ago I would have said no. But I can't say that anymore.” I couldn't breathe. Words flew through my mind but none of them came out. “Can I please take you out for coffee?”

“Okay,” I said, aware that both Karen and Betty were listening. “The restaurant is rented out Monday night for a Christmas party and I'm not working it. Do you want to meet somewhere or pick me up?”

He scrambled for a napkin on the table. “I want to pick you up.” I gave him my pen and he wrote down my address. “Six o'clock?”

I nodded and watched him walk out the door. “Don't blow this,” I said to myself or him or God or maybe all three.

 

Marshall knocked on the door and waited. He knocked louder this time and heard shuffling inside the home. Judy opened the door and sighed. “It figures. I just popped in
An Affair to Remember
and was comfortable on the couch.”

“I was in the neighborhood,” he said. “I tried calling all day but you never answered.”

“Because this was supposed to be the day of Judy. Dave said I could do anything I wanted so I thought I'd do crosswords and watch movies. So far I've done laundry, made breakfast and lunch, cleaned the bathrooms, watched twenty seconds of the opening credits of my movie, and stood here and talked to you.”

“So this is a good time?” he asked, smiling.

“So much for the day of Judy,” she said, letting him in. “So?” He sat at the kitchen table and shrugged his shoulders. She opened a cabinet. “You didn't have your talk, did you?”

He shook his head. “Jason's got a job interview. It'll pay an obscene amount of money and starts in January.”

She sat on the other side of the table and put a cup of coffee in front of him. “Why didn't you talk?”

 

“Aren't you too old to be babysitters?” Haley said as they got out of the car.

Miriam slapped her hands together. “That's exactly what I said.”

Zach and Haley waved at Mrs. Meredith standing in her doorway and Gloria threw up her hand. “Who's that?”

“That used to be the Bat Lady,” Haley said. “But now she's Dolly.”

“Well, this is already more fun than Miriam and I would have at our homes,” Gloria said, unlocking the door. “We don't have a Bat Lady next to us.”

“I wouldn't rule out Mrs. Hirsch,” Miriam said.

Gloria helped Zach and Haley take off their coats. “Your mom has told us so much about you.”

“She's never told us about you,” Zach said.

“And why would she?” Miriam said. “There are thousands of things more interesting than us. Like this beautiful Christmas tree.”

“We did that!” Haley said, running for the tree. “See the snow I put on it!”

Miriam picked up a cotton ball from the table. “Oh, this is a truly spectacular idea,” she said, gathering the cotton balls in her hand. “Why don't we stretch each of these balls so the cotton spreads out and drape it over each limb?”