The Christmas Secret (4 page)

If Mother were still alive, I’d go to her and talk about this. But then,
Elizabeth thought,
maybe it’s good that I’m not able tell her what I read in Aunt Lovina’s journal. I’m sure it would be most embarrassing for Mother to learn that I’d discovered her Christmas secret.

Elizabeth stood before the oval looking glass and studied her reflection.
Do I look more like Mother or my real father?
Elizabeth had always thought she’d gotten her mother’s blond hair and her father’s blue eyes, but when Raymond Stinner was alive, he’d had both blond hair and blue eyes.
Just like David,
she reminded herself.

Elizabeth turned away from the mirror.
Oh, David, I know it’s wrong to love you as anything more than a brother, but may God forgive me, I can’t seem to help myself.
She nearly choked on the sob rising in her throat.
The only way I can possibly deal with this is to put a safe distance between David and me.

“How’s Elizabeth doing?” David asked when Charles Canning entered his buggy shop. “Is she feeling any better?”

Charles, a tall man with thinning brown hair and pale blue eyes, lifted his broad shoulders in a brief shrug. “She was still in bed when I left home, so I’m not sure how she’s feeling this morning.”

“I’ve been worried about her,” David said with concern. “I’ve stopped by your house a couple of times to see how she’s doing, but Abigail always says Elizabeth isn’t feeling up to company.”

Charles nodded. “She’s been staying in her room and hasn’t taken any of her meals downstairs, although I don’t think she’s seriously ill.”

“When I’m done working for the day, I think I’ll stop by there again. I want to be sure she’s not any worse.” Despite the fact that it had only been a few days since he’d seen Elizabeth, it felt like forever.

“That’s a good idea. If she’s feeling up to company today, I’m sure she’ll be glad to see you.”

“So what’d you come by for?” David asked.

“I’m heading out of town on business today, but before I go, I wanted to drop in here and let you know that I need a new carriage. It’ll be a wedding present for you and Elizabeth.”

David chuckled. “It’s not often that a man gets asked to make his own wedding present.”

Charles thumped David’s shoulder. “That’s true, and I wouldn’t be asking, but you’re the best at what you do. I don’t want my daughter riding in a carriage built by anyone else.”

David smiled. “I appreciate that, sir, but to tell you the truth, I was planning to give Elizabeth one of my carriages as a combination birthday and wedding present. It’s a secret, though. I want to surprise her with it.”

“That’s fine. I won’t ruin your surprise, and I’m sure I can find some other suitable gift to give you and Elizabeth on your special day.” Charles started to walk away but turned back around. “Are you sure you and Elizabeth want to live in that old cabin where my first wife, Cassandra, and I got our start?”

David nodded with certainty. “It’s what Elizabeth wants, and I think we’ll be very happy living there.”

“Elizabeth’s mother and I were happy there, too. But I wish she had lived long enough for me to give her the house she deserved.”

“At least Elizabeth and your second wife have been able to enjoy the fruits of your labor.”

“True.” Charles’s forehead creased. “How long do you think it’ll be until you’re able to have a home built for you and Elizabeth?”

David shrugged. “I don’t know. Hopefully, within the next few years.”

“Before children come, I hope. That cabin’s too small to raise a family in.”

“You did it, sir. You raised Elizabeth there, and from what I understand, your first wife’s parents raised two daughters there as well.”

Charles nodded. “We managed, but it was crowded, so I hope you and Elizabeth are settled into a roomy home in town before any children come along.”

“I understood your concern,” David said, “but I promise to take good care of your daughter; of that you can be certain.”

W
hen Elizabeth opened the cabin door and stepped inside, a lump rose in her throat. She’d been looking forward to setting up house in this special little cabin where her only memories of her mother remained. This would never be her home now. She’d been eagerly waiting to become David’s wife, but that was obviously not meant to be.

Elizabeth sank into the wooden chair in front of the desk and buried her face in the palms of her hands. She needed to write David a farewell note and get away from here as quickly as possible, but telling him she was leaving was ever so hard.

She opened the desk drawer and took out a piece of paper. Then, struggling not to cry lest she soil the page, she began writing:

Elizabeth folded the note, slipped it into an envelope, and wrote David’s name on the outside. Then she placed it on the fireplace mantel next to the set of wooden candlesticks her father had given her mother on their last Christmas together.

Tears blurred Elizabeth’s vision as she stared at the envelope. With an ache in her heart she feared would always remain, she slipped quietly out the door. She had one more stop to make before heading to the train station.

“My mother’s better now, and it’s good to see that you’re finally out of bed, too. How are you feeling?” Helen asked when Elizabeth entered the stately house Helen shared with her parents.

“I’m fine physically, but in here, I’ll never be the same.” Elizabeth touched her chest and drew in a shuddering breath.

Helen led the way to the kitchen. Then she pulled out a chair at the kitchen table and motioned for Elizabeth to sit down. “You look like you’ve been crying. What’s wrong?”

Elizabeth removed her shawl and draped it over the back of the chair. As she sat, she drew in a couple of deep breaths to help steady her nerves. She had to tell someone the truth about why she was leaving. The secret that lay beneath the pages of her aunt’s journal was too much to carry alone. “This is so difficult for me to talk about,” she said in a whisper. “Are we alone?”

Helen nodded as she took a seat beside Elizabeth. “Mother’s visiting my grandparents today, and Father’s attending a deacon’s meeting at the church.”

With a sense of urgency, Elizabeth leaned forward and clasped her friend’s hand. “What I’m about to tell you is a secret, and it must remain so—do you understand?”

Helen nodded. “You’ve told me secrets before, and I’ve never betrayed your confidence.”

“This secret is different than the ones we shared during our growing-up years. If this secret ever got out, it could ruin several people’s lives. It’s already ruined mine.”

Helen’s eyebrows drew together. “What are you talking about?”

“It’s a horrible secret that could hurt my father, David’s mother, and most of all, David.” Tears welled in Elizabeth’s eyes as she swallowed against the constriction in her throat. “David can never find out. Do you understand?”

“No, I don’t understand. What secret could be so horrible that it would ruin four people’s lives?”

Elizabeth reached into her satchel and pulled out the journal. “This belonged to my aunt, Lovina Hess. It was stuck in the back of a drawer, inside the desk I was dusting at the cabin the other day.”

“Did something your aunt wrote upset you?”

“Yes. It’s the most horrible secret I could ever imagine.” Elizabeth opened the journal to the entry she’d marked with a slip of paper and handed it to Helen. “Read for yourself.”

Helen placed the journal on the table, and as she read, her mouth formed an O. “I—I can’t believe it! This has to be a mistake.”

Elizabeth slowly shook her head. “I wish you were right, but it’s not a mistake. Aunt Lovina would have no reason to lie about something so serious.” Elizabeth touched the netting that held her long blond curls at the back of her head. “It’s no coincidence that David and I have the same color hair and eyes. You mentioned it yourself the other day. And David’s father—my real father—he had blond hair and blue eyes, too.”

Helen stared at the journal; then turning her gaze to Elizabeth, she said, “Have you spoken to your aunt about this?”

“No.” Elizabeth released a lingering sigh. “I don’t even know where Aunt Lovina lives anymore.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’ve written a note and left it in the cabin for David.”

Helen’s eyes widened. “Did you tell him the truth?”

“Of course not. Revealing my mother’s secret would be too humiliating for David and both of our families. I told him in the note that I can’t marry him because I’ve come to realize we’re not meant to be together, and that I’m going away.”

Helen handed the journal to Elizabeth. “I feel so terrible for you. I wish there was something I could do to make your pain go away.”

“You can’t take away the pain I feel. It’s something I’ll have to deal with on my own. But there is something you can do.”

“What? I’ll do anything to help.”

Elizabeth returned the journal to her satchel. “You must keep my secret and never tell anyone.”

“What if David asks me if I know why you broke your engagement?”

“You mustn’t tell him.”

“But where will you go?”

“I’d rather not say right now. I’ll write to you in a few weeks after I’m settled in. But you have to promise not to tell anyone where I’ve gone. Is that clear?”

Helen gave a quick nod. “David will be so hurt when he reads your note.”

“I know, but not nearly as hurt as he’d be if he learned that the woman he planned to marry is really his half sister.”

“I—I see what you mean.” Helen dabbed at the tears beneath her eyes. “I can’t believe how quickly things have changed. When we were at the cabin, you were so happy and looked forward to your wedding. Now you won’t even be here to celebrate your birthday on Christmas Eve with your family and friends.”

“It’s for the best,” Elizabeth murmured. Oh, how she wished this was just a bad dream and she could wake up and everything would be as it once was.

“Have you told your father and Abigail that you’re leaving?” Helen asked.

“I left a note for Father on the desk in his study. I’m sure he’ll see it when he gets home from his business trip in New York.”

“What did you tell him?”

“Pretty much the same thing I told David. I also said I would write and let them know where I was when I felt that I could.” Elizabeth dabbed at her own set of tears. “I hope Father and Abigail will understand.”

“This is too much to comprehend,” Helen said. “I wish I knew how to pray about it.”

“Pray that David will find someone more suitable to be his wife.” Elizabeth pushed back her chair and stood. “You and David have always gotten along well enough. Maybe he’ll take an interest in you.”

Helen gasped. “Oh no, Elizabeth, I …”