The Christmas Hope (14 page)

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Authors: Donna VanLiere

BOOK: The Christmas Hope
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We heard the music of a small orchestra and walked toward the largest barn in the distance where the Nativity was held. Large pine trees were decorated with white lights and an enormous star, bigger than those on the other barns, lit up the tin roof. “Wow,” Emily said, stopping us. From where we were standing we couldn’t see Mary or Joseph or any of the animals inside the barn because of the crowd in front of us. I noticed a spot opening up and moved toward it.
“Come up here,” I said, leading the way.
Emily turned toward Mark, and without asking, Mark knew that she wanted to be lifted onto his shoulders. Bright lights shone on shepherds and a small shepherd boy who wandered about with some sheep and lots of donkeys, cows, goats, and even a camel. When the menagerie moved out of the way we could see Joseph and Mary and the little Baby Jesus. The music was soft now, a lullaby. I pointed to Mary holding a wriggling baby and Emily smiled. She hadn’t expected to see such a small baby in the manger. Then the sky lit up and we looked to see five glowing angels hovering over the barn. The angel in front had long brown hair and a flowing crimson robe with delicate ribbons of gold. Music swelled as the angels opened their arms to the scene below them.
“There she is!” Emily shouted, pointing to the angel. “That’s her!” Mark and I exchanged glances. Emily couldn’t take her eyes off the angel. Three wise men dressed in elaborate costumes rode through the center of the crowd on camels and made their way to the barn but Emily didn’t pay attention to them. “Look at her! Look how beautiful she is!”
“She is beautiful,” I said.
Emily looked at Mom and Dad and pointed to the angel for them to see. “I couldn’t see her because it was dark in my room. All I could feel was her hand.” Mark looked at me and we knew she was talking about the night her mother died. He put Emily down and I knelt in front of her.
“An angel held your hand, Emily?”
She nodded.
“Didn’t that scare you when you felt someone’s hand in the darkness?”
She looked at me as if I couldn’t understand anything. “Angels aren’t scary,” she said. “They’re nice. She held my hand and another angel held my mom’s hand.” That threw me for a moment.
“How do you know an angel held your mom’s hand?”
She was getting exasperated with me. “Because that’s what they do. They always watch us. When we die God sends an angel to hold our hand so we won’t be afraid. Then when we die we float up to heaven with that angel.” I could see Mom wipe her eyes. It’s what she had told me four years ago after Sean’s accident. The story of the angel was helping Emily with her mother’s death and I wasn’t about to change that. She needed to get through the grief in her own way. I took her hand and started walking toward the parking area. “Don’t you believe me, Patricia?” Her voice was small, not as strong as it had been earlier. “Don’t you believe that God sent my angel?” I searched her eyes. She believed everything she had told me.
“Yes,” I said, pulling her toward me. “I believe you.” She reached for Mark’s hand and we walked in silence to the car.
Meghan Andrews put the last of the roast into a glass dish and covered it with Saran Wrap. Nathan’s grandmother came up behind her and moved her out of the kitchen. “You cooked for us. Now we clean. Sit down before that baby decides to pay us all a visit on Christmas Eve. And you know what will happen if the baby comes too early?”
Nathan kissed his grandmother’s cheek. “We know, Gramma,” reciting the old wives’ tale she’d told him for the past nine months. “If a baby comes early it’ll be slow to walk and slower to talk.”
“That’s right. Your grandpa came early and he was nearly four years old before he talked.”
“Maybe he didn’t have anything to say. Maybe he was the strong, silent type.”
“Your grandfather couldn’t keep silent if you paid him!”
Nathan laughed and helped his grandmother clear the table.
“What I would give for this baby to come,” Meghan said, sitting at the table. “I can hardly breathe anymore.”
Jack smiled and helped clear the table. He didn’t say it but Nathan knew his dad was anxious to meet his first grandchild.
Lydia held her hand on Meghan’s stomach. “Oh, my goodness. We’ve got a little one who’s excited about Christmas in there.” Lydia had married Jack four years earlier. Nathan wished his own mother could meet his children and be called Grandma by little ones who clamored to get onto her lap but he had realized a long time ago that that would never happen. Lydia would be the baby’s grandma. She had grandchildren already and was a good grandma. Nathan and Meghan knew she would love their child as one of her own as well.
When the dishes were finished, everybody sat in the living room by the tree and continued to talk about work, family, old friends, and the new baby. At nine o’clock the phone rang and Nathan answered it.
“Just another holiday in the ER.” It was Rory.
“Are you still standing?”
“Barely. I have something for you.”
Nathan walked to the closet and pulled the timepiece out of his pocket.
“There was a Sean Addison brought in four years ago on Christmas Eve.”
Nathan looked at the inscription on the watch. “Mom, Always … S.”
“Did anyone happen to record his personal items?” Nathan asked.
“No, there’s nothing listed.”
Nathan sighed. He knew it had been too much to hope for. He closed his hand around the pocket watch. “I owe you one.”
“Actually, you owe Stephanie in Records. She did all the work.” Nathan wished Rory a merry Christmas and hung up the phone. He sat on the sofa and wanted to share the story with the rest of his family but they were looking at Meghan’s ultrasound pictures … again. He held the watch in his hands and shook his head. What if the watch didn’t belong to the young man who had died that night in the ER? The S on the watch might not mean Sean. It could be for a Steven or Sarah or Susan. What if he gave this to Patricia Addison and she thought he was crazy? He had to be at the hospital early tomorrow; he could leave the watch on the Addison’s front porch without their knowing and if it didn’t belong to Patricia then she’d just assume someone left it at the wrong house. But with that settled, the question still nagged him: what if he was mistaken? He rubbed his thumb over the engraving on the watch, then put it in his shirt pocket, propped his feet up on the coffee table, and smiled. It wouldn’t be the first time he was wrong.
The word which God has written on the brow of every man is Hope.
—Victor Hugo
I
opened my eyes at six. It was Christmas morning and for the first time in years I didn’t feel any sense of dread. I felt joy. But that couldn’t be possible, not given Emily’s situation or mine and Mark’s. How could I feel such excitement about today? I leaned up on the bed and looked at Emily.
Please open the doors of a beautiful home for her with parents who will be crazy about her. Help her to enjoy today. Somehow. Some way.
I tiptoed out of the room and headed for the bathroom. I wanted to shower before everyone got there to watch Emily open her presents. Mark had put them under the tree last night after she had gone to bed. I turned the water on in the shower but thought I heard the doorbell. It couldn’t be. Not at this hour. I thought I heard it again and turned off the water. Nothing. If it was the doorbell I assumed Mark would have heard it, too. I showered and got ready for the day before heading to the living room to plug in the tree. It was gorgeous. I found the camera so I’d be sure to have it with me as Emily opened her presents. I went to the kitchen, put the turkey in the oven, and started to peel sweet potatoes when I heard a door open upstairs. Girl’s nails clicked on the hardwood floor at the top of the landing. “Patricia.” I put down the knife and walked to the stairs. Emily and Girl were standing at the top resembling a picture on a Christmas card. Emily’s hair looked as if it had been teased and ratted during the night and one of the legs of her pajamas was halfway up her calf. She held Ernie as Girl stood next to her, wagging her tail. “Is it Christmas?”
“It sure is,” I yelled, throwing open my arms. “Merry Christmas!”
Mark came out of the hall bathroom dressed and ready for the day. “Merry Christmas,” he yelled. Girl barked and ran down the stairs. Mark picked Emily up and ran down the stairs, showing her the tree.
Her jaw dropped. “Did Santa come?”
“He sure did,” Mark said.
“He knew I was here?”
“Just take a look.”
He set her down and she walked to the tree, looking at the names on the gifts. “That’s my name,” she said, looking for the tag on each present. “They’re for me. He did know I was here. I don’t believe it!”
I sat down next to her on the floor. “Greta and Hal really want to be here as you open your gifts. Can you wait thirty minutes?”
She shook her head.
“Can you wait twenty-five minutes?”
She nodded.
I laughed and reached for the phone. “Are you up?” I asked Mom. “Because Emily’s ready to open!”
I hung up the phone and dialed Greta and Hal. Hal answered again. “Are you up?” I said, louder than usual. “Are you up?” I was shouting this time.
Emily giggled.
Greta answered the phone. “Are you ready to unwrap gifts?” I asked.
“Oh, my, yes,” she said. “Hal, go get your hearing aids in. Your hearing aids. Your ears.” She was shouting into the phone. “Right. Go get them. We’ll be over just as soon as I can get some pants on Hal. I’ve got everything ready.”
Mark made a fire and put on a pot of coffee to brew. Emily didn’t move from the tree. I was able to convince her to use the bathroom and wash her face and brush her teeth before everyone arrived. When she finished she took her place in front of the tree again. Within minutes the house was buzzing. Mom arrived carrying an enormous coffee cake loaded with nuts and raisins and gooey stuff that ran down the side of it. Greta arrived with a huge bowl of mixed fruit (to offset the calories and fat of the coffee cake). With coffee cups in hand we gathered in the living room. Emily couldn’t wait any longer. She opened the Easy Bake oven first and her eyes popped out. “I’ve wanted this since I was little,” she said. Greta and Hal had bought her a new winter coat. It was pink with large round pink buttons and fake white fur around the collar. She tried it on and looked like a tiny Audrey Hepburn. The books came next and she flipped through each one looking at the pictures and pretending to read. I looked at the faces in the room and realized it didn’t matter that there wasn’t a gift under the tree for any of us. This wasn’t about us. Emily propped her new baby doll in the stroller and covered her with a little blanket. “I’ll be done in a minute,” she said to the doll. “Then we can play.” I snapped a picture but Emily didn’t notice. With each gift that was opened we all said “Ooh” and “Ahh” or “Wow, isn’t that nice!” She opened the jewelry box from Roy and wound up the ballerina so she would dance for us. Emily put strands of beads around her neck and lined her wrist with dangly plastic bracelets. Roy was right again; she loved it. I took another picture and found myself smiling the whole time. I couldn’t stop; neither could Mark. I hadn’t seen him so excited in years. He handed her a small box and Emily shook it, wondering what was inside. She ripped into the paper and pulled out a small cross, covered with pink stones.
“That’s from your mom,” Greta said, watching her. Emily held it in her hands and stared at it. She turned it over and saw there was engraving on the back.
“What does this say?”
Mark knelt down and looked over her shoulder. “It says, ‘For Emily. Love, Mom.’ And that word right there is ‘Christmas.”
She ran her finger over the writing. “Can you put it on me?” Mark took it from her and put it around her neck. She picked it up and looked at it.
“It’s beautiful, Emily,” Greta said. “It’s just absolutely beautiful.”
Emily didn’t say anything but she nodded. One day she’d realize how special that little cross was. In the corner of my eyes I saw Mom brush a tear off her cheek. No one had expected a gift from Tracy but I was so glad Greta had found it. The Easy Bake oven and doll would last only for a little while but the necklace would be the gift that Emily would remember and keep for the rest of her life.
Mark looked to the back of the tree. “Here’s the last one. Are you ready for it?”
Emily nodded. He handed it to her and she tore through the paper. She opened the top of the box and lifted tissue paper to see the princess dress.
She gasped and pulled it out of the box. “I told Santa I wanted this. This is my dress!” She pointed her foot and held it under her chin; then she swayed back and forth so she could see the layers of silk and crinoline flow.
Mark showed her the tiara and put it on her head, then pulled out the pair of sequined plastic shoes. Emily scrambled out of her pajamas and Mark slid the dress over her shoulders. “May I, Your Majesty?” he asked, holding one of the shoes in front of her.
She nodded and he helped her into both shoes. We all said “Aww” at the same time and she twirled for us. Hal clapped the loudest and Mom and Greta said over and over that she was more beautiful than either Snow White or Cinderella. I snapped several pictures in a row. Emily was beside herself. I didn’t know how long her happiness would last or when the sadness of her life would sneak up on her again but in that moment she was happy and so were Mark and I. I didn’t know how I could feel a sense of contentment in the middle of this tragedy but I did.
It was over too soon. Greta bent down to wad up discarded wrapping paper. “It’s okay, Greta,” I said. “Just leave it.” If we cleaned everything up it would mean that the morning was slipping away and I wanted to hold on to it as long as I could. Mark and Hal helped Emily set up the Easy Bake oven while Mom, Greta, and I put coffee cake and fruit onto plates.
“Thank you again for inviting us,” Greta said. “She means the world to us.”
“She means the world to us, too,” I said, before realizing it. Mom didn’t react; she just licked her fingers and made yummy noises before picking a plate for Dad and carrying it into the living room. Emily wanted to visit Mia in the hospital before she started playing with her new toys. “I didn’t think we’d visit today since we were just there yesterday afternoon,” I said.
“We have to go,” Emily said. “It’s Christmas and she’ll know she’s alone.” I thought maybe just the women would go but before I knew it, we had all piled into Mark’s SUV and Mom and Dad’s car for the short trip to the hospital. Mia was awake. When she saw Emily she smiled. Emily stuck a finger into Mia’s palm and gently bounced it up and down.
“‘Silent night, holy night.’” Oh, no, she was singing again. Her voice was small and sweet. She looked at us hoping we’d join in as we had yesterday, and we did. Mom and Dad moved closer and joined us. They waved Hal and Greta over and there we stood, a ragtag group of carolers singing to a tiny heart patient on Christmas Day. “‘Sleep in heavenly peace,’” we sang, trying to harmonize as best we could. “‘Sleep in heavenly peace.’”
We cheered for ourselves when we hit the last note and Greta started the next song. “‘Hark the herald angels sing,’” she began, searching for a note. Mom and I attempted to help her out. “‘Glory to the newborn king!’” Hal tried to clap but it clearly wasn’t working. Greta grabbed his hands so we could finish and what a finish it was! Mark took the low note, Mom attempted the high one, and the rest of us just kind of jumped in and hung on as best we could. It was lousy but wonderful. I hadn’t sung in years. Someone began to clap behind us.
“How much can we pay you to entertain the whole unit?”
We turned to see Dr. Andrews.
“We’ll do it if you take the solos,” I said.
He held up his hand. “I knew early on that I had a voice for medicine, not singing.”
“You don’t even get a day off for Christmas?” I asked.
“I got here at the crack of dawn. I don’t have a long day. And it’s gotten a whole lot better seeing Emily this morning and hearing that beautiful singing.”
We laughed, embarrassed at our lack of musical ability and wished him a Merry Christmas. We needed to get home; it was time to eat.
That was one of the best days I can remember. We played games with Emily and Mom and Greta and I worked together in the kitchen to prepare the meal. Emily sat at the head of the table wearing her princess dress and then we all joined hands and Dad thanked God for the food, for Christ’s birth, and for new friends. We ate and laughed and played another game and ate some more, then went for a walk to the woods and ate even more. Though there were three men in the house we never turned the TV on to watch football or catch sports highlights of any kind. Somehow, without saying a word, we were all unified in making the day special for Emily. We listened to Hal tell stories of his childhood and Dad laughed so hard tears ran down his face. Emily didn’t understand half the stories but she laughed anyway, mostly at us. She served cake from the Easy Bake oven and though everyone was full to the brim, we each took a bite. Mark kept the fire going throughout the day and at eight o’clock when it was dying down Hal and Greta got up to leave. I couldn’t believe the day was over.
Greta leaned down and hugged Emily to her. “Merry Christmas, darlin’,” she said, kissing her face. She hugged her so tight Emily caught her breath. I know that Greta worried that she’d never see her again. “I sure do love you,” she said.
Emily patted her back. “I love you, too, Greta.”
Hal got down on his knees and looked at Emily. “Can I get a peck right here?” he said, pointing to his cheek. Emily wrapped her arms around Hal’s neck and kissed him hard on the cheek. “Thanks for letting us spend Christmas with you.”
Emily nodded and wrapped her arm around his leg.
“You come see us anytime you can.” Hal’s voice started to break and Greta turned away. They didn’t want to cry. Not now. Greta kissed Emily again and they waved at Mark and me as they walked out the door.
Dad helped Mom with her coat and she sat down at the kitchen table in front of Emily. “Merry Christmas, Emily. I can’t remember meeting someone that I’ve liked more.”
Emily smiled and Mom pulled her closer, kissing her head.
Dad extended his hand and Emily shook it like a big girl. “I’ve met a lot of fairy princesses in my life but you’re the sweetest, and by far you’re the prettiest.”
Emily moved to my side, embarrassed. We said our good-byes and they walked to their car. I hated to see them go.
I sat at the table and pulled Emily onto my lap. “You were the belle of the ball,” I said. “Are you tired?”
She shook her head.
“Would you like to take a bubble bath?”
“Can Girl come, too?”
I set her down. “She can’t get in the tub,” I said. “She’ll eat up all the bubbles!” Emily and Girl started up the stairs as I put the last few things into the refrigerator.
“It was a great day, Patti.” I turned to see Mark standing at the island. He hadn’t called me Patti in years.
“It was,” I said, smiling. “I think she had a good time. All things considered.”
“I did, too,” he said. “It was a great Christmas.” Emily called me from the bathroom and Mark moved in next to me. “Go ahead. I’ll finish here.”
By the time I walked into the bathroom Emily had bubbles up to her chin. Girl was up on her hind legs dipping her nose into the tub trying to move the bubbles away. Her head was covered and I laughed when I saw her. “She is trying to eat the bubbles,” Emily said, trying to push Girl away. Girl jumped up and stuck her head right in the center of the tub again.

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