The Christmas Bouquet (14 page)

* * *

Two weeks after her conversation with Noah in which she’d revealed just how insanely jealous she’d gotten because of an offhand remark by her sister, Caitlyn was still struggling to figure out the rest of her life. Noah’s revelation about that job he hadn’t even looked into left her feeling ashamed that it was taking her so long to find the same sort of magical, satisfying compromise.

She’d also spent days considering the possibility that she just might owe Carrie an apology, but she hadn’t made that call. She figured her sister needed to stew awhile for planting those seeds of doubt in her head. She had a hunch it had been deliberate. She also thought she detected Grandpa Mick’s hand in the plot.

Alone after another twenty-four-hour shift at the hospital, she sat in her apartment staring at the walls and wondering how things had gotten so twisted around in her head, to say nothing of the actual disruptions to her well-considered plan for her life.

It was crazy that she was here, alone, her baby growing in her belly, while Noah was down in Chesapeake Shores setting up a medical practice. She’d stubbornly resisted accepting his invitations to come home for a weekend to see the renovations to the house he’d bought, the furniture he’d chosen, anything that might even hint that she was ready to accept the situation and move forward with a life with him in Chesapeake Shores.

Maybe it was irrational, but she had a feeling once she crossed the threshold of that house, the decision about the future would be ripped out of her hands.

In the meantime, though, she hadn’t been able to keep herself from peeking at the house online. As soon as she’d caught Noah there with Connor and realized his intention, she’d gone on the real estate website to take the tour she’d refused to take in person. Even though the renovations remained a mystery, she could picture every nook and cranny of the house.

She could envision every detail of the street it was on, just a block off Main in downtown Chesapeake Shores. The house itself was one of the traditional beach cottages Grandpa Mick had designed when he’d developed the town. There was a wide porch. Mature trees in the yard provided shade and flowerpots filled with bright red geraniums had been left behind by the previous owner. It was a home just right for a family, she thought with a troubling sense of longing. There was little doubt that she could move right in and find happiness with Noah and their child.

But at what cost? It would be the end of that dream she’d been so passionate about. No matter what anyone else believed, she knew she couldn’t do it justice by half measures. Whatever she did with her future, she had to be fully, one hundred percent committed to it.

A knock on the door snapped her out of her reverie. She opened it to find her mom standing there.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, startled by the unexpected visit. “Is everyone okay?”

“Everyone’s fine. May I come in?”

“Of course,” she said, stepping aside. “I’m just surprised to see you. Generally you don’t pop in unannounced. And you’ve been amazingly silent recently. Not even a phone call.”

Abby smiled. “I thought you’d be grateful for that. I’m sure your grandfather hasn’t been nearly so reticent.”

Caitlyn laughed. “Of course not. So, what brings you by?”

“I thought you might be feeling lonely,” Abby told her, studying her closely. “With your sister and Noah both gone, this place must seem pretty empty.”

Caitlyn sighed and nodded. “I miss Noah.” She regarded her mother curiously. “Have you seen him?”

“A few times. Dad’s insisted he come to Sunday dinners with the family.”

For some reason that made Caitlyn feel even worse, as if they’d taken Noah in, and left her out. Apparently her irrational thinking knew no bounds these days. She could blame it on pregnancy hormones, but she had a hunch she had her own recent insecurities to thank.

Her mother smiled. “I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking we’ve somehow taken his side over yours.”

“Haven’t you?”

“I’d like to think there aren’t sides. I believe there’s a solution that can work for both of you, but I get the feeling you’ve stopped trying to find it.”

Caitlyn frowned. “Just because I haven’t dropped everything and moved down to Chesapeake Shores?”

“Nobody ever expected you to do that,” Abby said impatiently.

“Oh, please,” Cait said. “That’s exactly what Grandpa Mick wants.”

Abby smiled. “One of these days, Dad has to figure out that he can’t always get his way. The point is that you should have made a commitment to Noah by now.” She leveled a hard look at Caitlyn. “Or let him go.”

Caitlyn regarded her mother with dismay. “You think I should break up with Noah? Why? So he can move on with Carrie?”

Now it was her mother’s turn to look stunned. “What would ever give you the idea that Noah and Carrie want to get together?”

“She practically told me as much,” Caitlyn said. “Noah thought I was crazy, too.” She shrugged. “I probably was. I suspect I jumped to exactly the conclusion I was meant to jump to.”

“So that explains why Noah’s been giving Carrie these odd looks,” Abby said thoughtfully.

“Odd as in interested?” Caitlyn asked, her heart once again thumping unsteadily.

“Of course not,” her mother said impatiently. “Odd as if something strange were going on. Since I know with absolute certainty that your sister thinks you belong with Noah, I can’t imagine her doing or saying anything to give you a different impression.”

They both fell silent. Abby suddenly looked as if a lightbulb had switched on in her head.

“Your grandfather is behind this,” she said. “I’d put money on it.”

Caitlyn was almost relieved that her mom had reached the same conclusion that she had. “You think Grandpa Mick got Carrie to plant that idea in my head?”

“Don’t you?”

“As a matter of fact, once I calmed down, I thought exactly that. Carrie would never have done anything like that on her own and it is exactly the sort of thing Grandpa Mick would do. He loves to stir the pot until he gets his way.”

Her mother nodded. “No question about it. Trust me, I’ll have a word with him when I get home. Now, let’s get back to the real issue why you haven’t told Noah you’ll marry him. The man is crazy in love with you. Just look at what he’s done to prove it. He bought a home in the town you love. He’s opened a medical practice there. He’s getting to know the family he knows is important to you. How can you not realize that he’s done all of this for you?”

“I know you’re right, but it feels like a trap,” Caitlyn said. “Ironically, he told me just the other night that he didn’t even look into a dream job that came his way because of me and the baby. I know he thought there was a lesson in there for me about compromise, but it just added to my guilt.”

“Guilt? What on earth are you talking about?”

“He’s made this grand sacrifice and I’m holding out.”

“You’re not holding out exactly,” her mom said in her defense. “You’re exploring all your options. Sometimes it’s possible to get so bogged down in that process that you can’t see the answer that’s right in front of you.”

She picked up the notebook Caitlyn had left sitting on the coffee table and flipped through the pages and pages of pro-con lists, her attempts to find a balance between goals and reality. “Exactly as I thought. Have these helped?”

“Not really,” Caitlyn admitted. “Did you get bogged down in all the choices when Trace wanted you to get married? I might have been a kid back then, but it seems to me you panicked when he bought that house without talking it over with you.”

Her mother flushed at the reminder. “That was different.”

“How?”

“My life was still in New York. I hadn’t agreed to marry Trace at that point.”

Caitlyn just looked at her until her mom sighed.

“Okay, it was exactly the same,” Abby said. “But looking at it in hindsight, I was an idiot. Don’t you be one, too.”

“Do as I say, not as I do,” Caitlyn suggested, using words she’d had thrown in her face about a million times as a kid.

“Something like that,” Abby confirmed. “What Noah has done is a gesture, sweetie. A big one. Just like the one Trace made years ago. Can’t you meet him even halfway? Or are the children you want to save more important to you than this baby you’re carrying and the man you claim to love?”

Caitlyn frowned. It wasn’t anything she hadn’t heard before and she still didn’t like the accusation. “That’s not fair.”

“Just calling it like I see it.”

“Are you speaking for yourself or can I assume the O’Briens have reached a consensus about this? Have you all come to the conclusion that I’m being selfish?” Caitlyn asked, unable to keep a hint of bitterness from her voice.

“Not selfish. None of us would ever deny that your intentions are wonderful. Your goal is definitely a noble one.” She held Caitlyn’s gaze. “I just think maybe you’re being shortsighted. There’s a way to have everything you want, but instead of trying to figure it out, you’re viewing everything Noah has done with suspicion. Remember that expression I used to use with you and Carrie when you’d dig in your heels and be totally unreasonable?”

“You’d tell us not to cut off our noses to spite our faces,” Caitlyn repeated, her lips twitching into a smile at the memory. “I always thought that was silly. Nobody would cut off their nose.”

“Isn’t that exactly what you’re doing right now? You love Noah. You’re having his child. But you’d rather cut him out of your life and be a martyr to this cause of yours, instead of trying to find a way to be together, especially if the solution requires you to give up anything, even for the short term.”

“We’re back to my being selfish.”

“Shortsighted,” her mother corrected yet again.

“I don’t get it,” Caitlyn complained in frustration. She’d been raised by this very woman to believe she could have it all. Now she was being told to give up who she was and accept a different future.

“You might not get it right this second, but you’re a brilliant young woman,” Abby told her. “I’ll bet if you give it some thought you’ll understand what I’m saying.”

“Couldn’t you just tell me what you think I should do?”

Abby laughed. “I could, but I suspect you’d rebel at being told what to do, the same as always. It’ll be better if you look into your heart and get to the solution on your own.” She gave her a pointed look. “And while you’re at it, give Noah some credit. Every decision he’s made hasn’t been manipulative. Nor has it been just about him. He really wants you to be happy, too.”

She stood up then and held out her arms. Caitlyn stepped into the embrace.

“Thanks for coming, Mom.”

“Whatever you decide, remember we all love you, Noah included.”

Alone again, Caitlyn acknowledged that her mom was right about one thing: it was past time to make a decision. She couldn’t stay in this same holding pattern forever. As if the baby could read her mind, there was a solid kick in the belly.

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Caitlyn murmured. She picked up the notebook with all of her pro-con lists, took it into the kitchen and ripped it into pieces before dumping it into the trash. It was a symbolic gesture, but a critical one. The time had come to go with what her heart had been telling her all along.

14

M
ick took one look at Abby’s expression and knew his goose was cooked. His only regret was that his wife was sitting right here while he was about to get raked over the coals for his latest attempt to coax a member of his family into line. Meggie had disapproved of his interference in the lives of his children and in his mother’s romance with Dillon O’Malley. In retrospect she might have been right about his attitude toward Dillon, but he stood by his efforts to see that their children were happily settled.

That said, Meggie wasn’t likely to be one bit happier at the discovery that he was still at it with his grandchildren. He figured the best defense was a good offense.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked his daughter, feigning ignorance.

“Did you actually have the audacity to pit my daughters against each other?” Abby asked him furiously.

Mick grimaced when he saw his wife’s eyes go wide with shock.

“Mick, you didn’t!” Megan said, then sighed. “Of course you did. How could you?”

“Well, somebody had to light a candle under Caitlyn and get her on track. Otherwise, that baby of hers will be born without a daddy.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” Megan chided. “The baby has a devoted father. Noah’s never going to turn his back on his child, no matter what happens between him and Caitlyn.”

“She’s right,” Abby said. “Which you know perfectly well. I can’t believe you’d involve Carrie in one of your schemes. Jealousy is a terrible, corrosive thing. You could have destroyed the relationship between my girls. As it is, I don’t think they’ve spoken in weeks.”

“That’s only because my plan was working,” he said defensively. “It got Caitlyn to thinking, didn’t it? She even came crying to you apparently.”

“She wasn’t crying,” his oldest daughter told him with a hint of impatience. “She was ticked off, especially when the two of us added two and two and came up with you as the real culprit.”

“Means to an end,” Mick said blithely.

“What exactly was the end you envisioned?” Abby inquired, regarding him with curiosity.

“Getting her to face facts,” Mick replied readily. “She loves Noah. Everybody can see that. They’re having a baby. They belong together. Simple as that. And if you weren’t in such a self-righteous snit, you’d admit I’m right.”

“Do you see her around here?” Abby asked. “Has she rushed down to stake her claim? Have you even considered the possibility that you’ve given her yet another reason to stay away?”

The suggestion took Mick by surprise. “Why would she do that?” he protested. “Do you think for a single second that she’d walk away from Noah and let her sister have him? Do you not know your own daughter?”

Abby’s frown deepened. “Of course I do!”

“Then you should know it’s not in her nature to give up the man she loves without a fight. Just look at how tightly she’s holding on to that dream of hers,” Mick reminded her. “If she were wishy-washy about the things she cares about, she’d have let it go months ago. Instead, she’s done everything she could think of to hold on to it. She’ll do the same with Noah.”

Megan smiled for the first time and gave Abby a reassuring look. “He is right about that much at least. Caitlyn will always fight for what she perceives as being hers. That’s what O’Briens do.”

Abby continued to scowl, but Mick saw the precise instant when her temper gave way to a smile. “Oh, I know that,” she grumbled, relenting. “I just can’t believe you’d resort to something like this, Dad. Do you have any idea how risky it was?”

“Only big risks net big gains,” Mick said. “So, when is she coming home?”

“She didn’t say,” Abby admitted.

Mick regarded her with frustration. “Why not? I go to all this trouble to set things in motion and you can’t even seal the deal?”

Megan laughed. “Mick, have you considered that the real problem is that Caitlyn is exactly like you? She’s stubborn. She wants things on her timetable. She’ll come around in her own good time, and there’s not a thing in the world any of us can do to rush the process.”

“I think Mom’s nailed it,” Abby said. “We should probably take a page out of Noah’s book and sit back and relax. We’ve done everything we can. The rest is up to those two.”

Mick was about to argue, but even he could recognize when it was best to bow out and let nature take its course. The baby wasn’t due for a few weeks yet. If that due date got a little too close without any signs of progress, well, then he could take matters back into his own hands.

* * *

Caitlyn had spent her entire day off with Dr. Davis going through reports on the status of the foundation’s projects in eight villages in Africa.

“There are so many more that desperately need help,” Caitlyn said, her heart aching with regret that there wasn’t more they could do.

“But thanks to us, there are eight that are in far better shape today than they were a few years ago,” Dr. Davis reminded her. “That’s how you have to look at it, Caitlyn. Never stop fighting to do more, but recognize how much you’ve already accomplished in the meantime. Allow yourself to feel a sense of pride in every small success. Otherwise, it’ll be all too easy to wind up in a deep pit of despair.”

She studied Caitlyn with a worried expression. “Now, moving on. There are a couple of things I wanted to discuss with you.”

“Sure,” Caitlyn said at once. “Is there some other project you’d like me to take on?”

The pediatrician smiled at her eagerness. “Actually, I was thinking it might be time for you to take a step back. That baby of yours is going to be here in a matter of weeks. You’re pulling a full load at the hospital. You need to take better care of yourself right now. I don’t want Noah up here yelling at me for overworking you.”

“But this is a critical time of the year for fund-raising,” Caitlyn protested. “People always feel especially generous between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I have three groups lined up next week to hear me talk about the foundation’s work.”

“And I’ve cleared my calendar to handle those,” Dr. Davis told her.

Caitlyn felt an immediate sense of loss at having her role in this project taken from her. “You don’t need my help anymore?”

“Of course I do,” Dr. Davis replied firmly. “After the baby’s here and your life has settled into a new routine, any time you can spare to help will be more than welcomed. Right now, though, I sense you’re using this work to put off making some important decisions.” She smiled, her gaze on Caitlyn’s ever-expanding middle. “Seems to me there’s not a lot of time left for making those decisions.”

Caitlyn didn’t pretend not to understand. “One thing has nothing to do with the other,” she insisted. “If anything, working with you has helped me to see that I won’t have to entirely abandon my goals in order for Noah and me to plan a future together. You’ve set a good example for me.”

“If I’ve done that, I’m glad, and I hope you’ll take a word of advice to go along with it.”

“Of course,” Caitlyn told her, though she was surprised that the older woman, who was usually so businesslike and professional, wanted to delve into something more personal. Such occasions were rare, so she knew to listen carefully.

“I’m a lot like you, Caitlyn,” Dr. Davis revealed. “Or at least I was when I was your age. I was incredibly focused when I was younger. I thought it was up to me to singlehandedly save the world. And I walked away from someone important so I could do that. By the time I finally recognized what I’d sacrificed, it was too late.”

“He married someone else?” Caitlyn asked.

“No, he died serving in the military. Aside from being a terrible tragedy, it was ironic. He would never have joined if he hadn’t wanted to prove something to me, that he could find a goal every bit as noble as mine. I’ll always bear the weight of my responsibility for the decision he made that led to his death and the sorrow of losing the life we should have shared.”

To Caitlyn’s shock, Dr. Davis blinked back tears and looked away. When she turned back a moment later, she was once again composed.

“Don’t have those kinds of regrets in your life, Caitlyn,” she said gently. “Not when you still have time to avoid them.”

She gave Caitlyn’s shoulder a squeeze, then left her alone to think about what she’d heard.

Caitlyn took Dr. Davis’s advice to heart. That night at home, she pulled the bouquet from Jenny’s wedding from its box on the top shelf in her closet. She’d meant to give it back to her after the reception in New York, but she’d been in such a state of shock, she’d held on to it.

The flowers in the simple bouquet had turned brown. The ribbon had faded. But the memory of the happiness that had shone on Jenny’s face that night was still crystal clear in Caitlyn’s memory.

Jenny, far more than Caitlyn, had reason to question the decision she’d made to marry. Caleb had betrayed her in the worst possible way. She’d been publicly humiliated by a cheating scandal broadcast in the tabloids.

But Jenny had clearly believed in love and second chances, rather than dwelling on that past. She’d taken the leap of faith that everyone has to take when walking down the aisle, that there’s nothing they’ll face that can’t be resolved if the love is strong enough.

Noah had done everything to earn Caitlyn’s trust. The love she felt for him was strong and enduring, the kind meant to last a lifetime. Surely she could hold out her hand and take that leap into the future with him, for the sake of their child and because that’s what people in love did. They didn’t wait for perfect timing or omens. They jumped in and prayed they could get it right, then worked every single day to ensure it.

She oh-so-gently touched a finger to the dried petals of the roses in the bouquet, then smiled as she found one of the forget-me-nots that Bree had tucked in.

“I think it’s time I give you back to your rightful owner,” she murmured as she nestled the bouquet back amid the tissue paper in the box.

The bouquet, which she’d once regarded with dismay, had done its job. She couldn’t say for sure if it had brought Noah into her life, but it had steadied her nerves just now and made her see what she needed to do, the
only
thing she could do.

Setting the box on the bed next to her suitcase, she began to pack. It was time to go home, maybe not forever, but at least long enough to tell Noah how much he meant to her and claim the future he’d been offering all along.

* * *

It was a Friday evening the week before Thanksgiving and the last of Noah’s patients had just left the office. The yard was covered in colorful leaves he needed to rake up and there was a sharp nip in the air.

Main Street had skipped right over Thanksgiving and was already decked out for Christmas. The window displays and lights made downtown Chesapeake Shores seem even more festive and special than usual. It was exactly the atmosphere he’d hoped to find, exactly the sort of community he’d wanted to call home.

When the front door to the office opened, letting in a chilly draft, he looked up and saw Caitlyn hesitating in the doorway.

“Is it okay?” she asked.

A smile broke across his face. “Of course it’s okay. You know you’re welcome here anytime. I wasn’t expecting to see you till next weekend, though. Your mother told me you’d promised to come home for Thanksgiving.”

Though he’d continued to go on all of her prenatal checkups, Noah hadn’t seen her often beyond those overnight visits to Baltimore. Despite Connor’s advice to grovel or make some huge grand gesture, he’d taken a step back and waited for Cait to reach her own conclusions about the future, trusting that she’d find her way back to him.

He had made a few plans, though. He’d wanted to be ready when the time came. He couldn’t help wondering if this was it.

“Want to look around?” he asked.

She nodded, her expression curious, but a little wary.

Noah showed her the offices and exam rooms downstairs first.

“They’re really modern and well equipped,” she commented, clearly impressed.

“Did you think I’d do this without doing it right?” He gave her a rueful smile. “Your grandfather wouldn’t have allowed it, for one thing. When he noticed that I’d put a few pieces of expensive equipment on the back burner, he insisted on buying them himself. He said the town deserved the best.” Noah shrugged. “You know that talking him out of anything is like talking to a wall. I accepted, but I am paying him back every penny.”

“Of course you are,” she said, clearly aware that he wasn’t the kind of man who’d accept being indebted to anyone, even family.

“The same’s true with the house,” he said. “Mick put upgrades everywhere, but he’ll get that money back, too. He grumbles about it, but I can be just as stubborn as he can.”

“Show me,” she said with a level of eagerness that surprised him.

Noah led the way to the private living quarters upstairs. He showed her the fancy kitchen, the sparsely furnished living room with its huge windows and polished oak floors, the oversize master bedroom and marbled bath and the guest room. Caitlyn seemed fascinated by every detail.

He walked to the end of the upstairs hallway and opened the door to yet another room, a small one tucked away behind the staircase. He saw her eyes widen when she saw that he’d turned it into a cozy nursery, decorated with pale green walls and white trim. The white crib had sheets with yellow ducks and there were parades of yellow ducks in a framed picture, a mobile over the bed and across the back of the changing table. An old rocker—an O’Brien heirloom, according to Abby—had been brought back to life with a careful sanding and polishing of the oak.

“You made a room for the baby,” Cait whispered, looking around with a sense of wonder.

“Is it okay?” Noah asked worriedly. “I know we hadn’t really talked about it, but you kept mentioning ducks and since we decided to be surprised about the baby’s sex, I just ran with a neutral color scheme. Connor’s wife helped. Carrie and your mom picked out the furniture.”

“It should have been me,” she said.

Noah tried to read her expression. He couldn’t tell if she was mad that he hadn’t consulted her or disappointed. The tears in her eyes when she looked up at him and then away suggested the latter.