The Chosen (50 page)

The object of her memories, which she never took off, suddenly became ice cold against her chest. She brought it out and held it in her hand. She stared at it for a long time.
A soaring eagle, the ultimate symbol of freedom. The one thing in my entire life that I have been continually denied.

She closed her hand around the metal and returned her gaze to the window. “I was whipped on average of once a week, sometimes more. Lord and Lady Blackwood argued every morning and I was the one they took their anger out on. Lord Blackwood may have hit harder, but Lady Blackwood induced injuries that stung for radians.”

The reasons for the Blackwood’s arguments came to mind and she wanted to curse at the pettiness of them. She still couldn’t believe that they were able to be in the same room together after all this time since she doubted the arguments had ceased after she had left. “I quickly learned to leave Lady Blackwood’s bedchamber as soon as she was dressed. They would argue soon after she was dressed and I learned it was much better to endure one severe beating after they were done then to endure their argument and a severe beating afterwards. Lady Blackwood would blame me for the arguments, saying that I needed to be punished for bringing discord into their lives.”

In the window she could see the outrage and disbelief on David’s face. She shrugged. “I didn’t understand what I had done but I believed her, believed her in the same way I believed I had to earn my keep with my aunt and uncle. As I grew the beating became harsher and more prolonged. I never spoke to them, which in the beginning infuriated Lady Blackwood and inspired numerous beatings, but eventually they… came to the conclusion I was mute and enjoyed having a servant who wouldn’t talk back.” It was only after Claude had casually suggested that she was mute that the beatings for that particular infraction had stopped.

“When I was seven I learned that the forest that surrounded the manor was a peaceful place where I could be alone and not listen to Lady Blackwood shrieking at everyone. I was eight when I discovered I could move water with my mind…” her voice broke and she closed her eyes willing herself not to fall into that memory.

“I made the mistake of discovering my ability within Lady Blackwood’s sight. She flew into a rage unlike anything I had ever witnessed before. I received a beating to rival all the ones I had ever experienced.” Kathryn felt tears choking her throat as she remembered that beating. Not even Kad’s beatings could have competed. “They whipped me so badly I lost consciousness for a time. After a while Lady Blackwood told me horror stories about people who had powers like the one I showed her. She told me that if others knew I could move water with my mind they’d take me away and try me for black magic and perform awful experiments on me, she called it a curse. She made me vow never to use it again.”

Kathryn closed her eyes, desperately wanting to stop talking. She wished she’d never started, reliving everything as a memory was difficult enough, but reliving while telling someone…the nausea was becoming worse and it was taking all of her concentration to force it away.

“But you did.”

At David’s quiet statement, she realized that she couldn’t stop, not yet. Taking a deep breath to fight the roiling in her stomach she said, “Yes, although I wish I never had.  Even after…” she paused, “… Lord Jasse rescued me my power has proven to be nothing more than a curse. At the school I was treated differently by the Council which alienated me from the rest of the students.”

David moved so that he was standing behind her. Placing his hands on her shoulders he turned her away from the window to face him. When her gaze slid to the side out of habit he spoke.  “Kathryn, look at me.”

When she didn’t immediately raise her head he repeated his command. “Look at me, Kathryn.”

It was a command, not a harsh command, but definitely a command. Slowly she raised her face to look him in the eye.

“Your gift is not a curse.” He spoke slowly and deliberately. “It never has been and never will be. Lady Blackwood was wrong to tell you those stories. The reason the Council paid you deference was because of your troublesome history. They wanted to make sure you transitioned peacefully, after that it became a habit for them to keep an eye on you.”

“Maybe my gift isn’t a curse,” she said bitterly. “But I am cursed. Cursed with surviving.”

“Being a survivor isn’t a curse.”

“It is for me,” she returned sharply. Now that she was done reliving her past, she felt anger and resentment toward everyone in it. “It would have been far better for me to die with my uncle and his family then to endure everything that has happened since.”

“But if you had died with your uncle’s family, then you wouldn’t be one of us. You would never have found Destiny and Amy and you would have never learned to make new friends of the Dragons.”

“Because I’ve done such a good job at that,” she returned sarcastically.

“You have Kathryn, you just have to see it,” he told her calmly. “You took it upon yourself to continue training the others so that they wouldn’t fall as easily to an opponent’s sword.  While at the capitol you kept a close eye on every Dragon, ready to play the protector if they found themselves in trouble. You prevented Natalie from forcing her personal tastes on all of us. You worked out your differences with Natalie, without forcing your own resentment into her punishment, and you worked with Tyler and Jenna to help me when I was sick,” he reminded her.

Kathryn stared at him in disbelief. “I never told anyone about helping Jenna and Tyler,” she said quietly.

“Being the family leader has its advantages,” he said with a smile. “There are very few secrets that I don’t know about.”

“And the capitol? How could you possibly know…?”

“While you were watching the Dragons, I was watching you.” He held up a hand to forestall her angry reply. “And before you take my head off, it didn’t start out that way. The Dragons are my responsibility and it’s my duty to look after them. When I realized that you already had that corridor covered for me, I decided that while you were watching our family, someone should be watching your back.”

She stared at him again, a million thoughts flying through her mind. Finally she said, “You’re wrong.”

“Wrong?”

“I don’t deserve to have anyone watching my back,” she replied dully. “I don’t even belong in the Guardians.” The memory of being an outcast at school, the other students afraid of her because of the close attention the Council paid her came rushing back. “I don’t know how to live with others. I don’t…I don’t even know who I am.”

“You’re a Dragon,” he returned firmly.

“And how can you know that for certain? How do you know that I shouldn’t be an outcast or village beggar? How do you know that the Council didn’t make a mistake?”

David chose his words carefully, he could see that she was almost at the end of her endurance and didn’t want to say anything that might upset her even more. “Because you’re here with the rest of the Dragons, serving as a Guardian, and not as an outcast struggling for survival in the forests or streets. While it is possible that the Council can make mistakes, they didn’t make one with you.”

She looked up at him, her eyes deader than he had ever seen before. “Natalie called me a Wanderer.”

“She what?!” David asked horrified.             

“Months ago, when we were first stationed in Rima, Natalie accused me of being a Wanderer.”

No wonder Kathryn had identity issues. “How did you handle it?”

“The accusation stung, but what was far worse is that I couldn’t deny it. I have no proof that what she said is false,” Kathryn admitted slowly.

“I think I need to have a talk with Natalie,” David muttered angrily.
A very long, very overdue talk.

“No, she’s sorry now. She said it out of anger and frustration. She didn’t truly mean it.” He noticed that she didn’t say it with much conviction…either that or she was too tired to care how anything sounded.

Perhaps now would be a good time to move her focus to something positive. “Out of curiosity,” David said, “How do Destiny and Claude fit into all this?”

Kathryn gave a ghost of a smile as Destiny let out a soft call at the sound of her name. “On the day the Lord Jasse rescued me I found an abandoned baby bird in the forest. For some reason I felt a connection with it. I smuggled her into the manor and brought her with me when I left.”

“Kind of like kindred spirits?” David asked.

“I guess so. Anyway, for the first couple months I never let her out of my sight. The first time I spoke was when I named Destiny.”

“That’s a powerful memory.”

“Yes it is, and Destiny’s been with me ever since.”

“So in a sense, you both rescued each other.”

Kathryn paused, considering what he had just said. “I never thought about it like that before,” she admitted. “But you’re right. We did kind of rescue each other.”

“And Claude?”

A tiny spark of life appeared in her eyes. “When I first arrived here, I refused to speak. Because of this, and the fact that my uncle and his family never bothered to give me a name, I was nameless in more ways than one. The Blackwoods gave me the name Margit. On the second day, Claude came across me in the hall and told me that I reminded him of his little Caterina.”

David smiled. “The name you used to introduce yourself to the Blackwoods.”

“Yes. Lady Blackwood came looking for me and Claude pretended to think that she was looking for him and called me Kathryn.” She paused. “I liked it better than Margit so when Lady Blackwood asked, I confirmed it and I became Kathryn.”

David couldn’t help but feel admiration for the baker who’d gone out of his way to ease some of the pain a six-year-old Kathryn had been feeling. He guessed that Claude’s small acts of kindness hadn’t stopped with giving Kathryn a beautiful name as well as making her feel like his own child. 

He looked over at Kathryn. She was silent now, her eyes staring out the window, her body trembled with exhaustion. Standing, he moved to the doorway and called for a servant. One quickly appeared.

“Lady Caterina requests a sleeping draught for tonight, please see that one is delivered immediately.

The servant hurried away.

“I don’t need a sleeping draught, David,” Kathryn protested as he closed the door.

“I disagree,” he replied quietly. “You’ve been through a lot in the last day and while you’re exhausted now the dreams will come again, and you won’t sleep.”

She turned her head away. “They make the nightmares worse,” she told him quietly.

He was startled that she actually admitted to the dreams since she hadn’t spoken of them while telling her story and even more surprised that she’d admitted to what she could only consider a weakness with the sleeping draught. With a shake of his head he said, “Not this time. If you take the draught while you’re still physically and emotionally as tired as you are now, the draught will calm your mind enough to bypass the dreams and give you peaceful sleep.”

She eyed him doubtfully. “If you say so.”

The next few minutes passed in silence, Kathryn continued to watch the rain fall against the window pane, although not as forcefully as the night before. David processed everything she had told him. His own body was simmering with rage, but instinct told him if he let her see any of his fury, it would chase her away. She needed someone to act as a pillar for her to lean on, a root to keep her from blowing away in the wind…not the fiery whirlwind of an avenging spirit

A knock sounded on the door and David retrieved the sleeping draught from the servant. He held it out to his second-in-command. She eyed it suspiciously.

“I’m not leaving until you drink it,” he told her.

Grimacing she took it and held gamely onto it.

Amused, David crossed his arms over his chest. “It won’t explode.”

She shot him a look that told him she was not finding the situation as amusing as he was, but drank the draught.

Satisfied, David nodded and turned to leave. “I’ll leave you to get some sleep. If the weather is clear, we’ll leave as soon as everyone’s awake.”

He’d barely taken a step before she reached out and grabbed his wrist. Amazed at the swiftness of her reflexes in her exhausted state he turned to face her.

“Please,” she begged. “Don’t tell anyone what I just told you.”

David looked into her eyes. “They’re going to have to learn eventually.”

She bit her lip. “I know, but I’m not ready to tell them yet. You’re the first person I’ve ever told and I need time to get used to the idea of someone else knowing.”

“You’re going to need to learn to trust them one of these days.”

“I trusted you, didn’t I?”

David stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind him. The anger he had felt as Kathryn had told her story finally got the better of him and he slammed the butt of his fist against the stone.

A voice came out of the darkness to his right. “If you want to go after our hosts, I’ll join you.”

Startled, David peered into the gloom. Daniel stepped out of the shadows and into the light of a low burning torch. The look on his face was probably identical to the one on David’s. “I’m tempted,” David admitted.