Authors: Deborah Nam-Krane
Tags: #mystery, #college, #boston, #family secrets, #new adult
"If you had anything, you’d take this to
Joanna."
Emily shook her head. "I know Joanna must
have noticed something. And maybe I have to stop if Oberlin shuts
me down, but Joanna doesn’t. Or if she does, then she doesn’t have
to hire you."
"This is a scary, conspiratorial world you
live in, Misses Graham. What might have happened to make you so
paranoid? I wonder if I can guess."
He had that same knowing tone again. That was
okay—she was almost done. "I’ve got one more thing in here," she
said. "Don’t you want to see what it is?" Before he could answer,
she flipped over the wedding announcement and pulled out a small
piece of paper. "This," she said, waving it back and forth, "is a
birth certificate for Robert Joseph Teague." She looked at the
piece of paper. "How hard do you think I’d have to work to get some
up-to-date information about him?"
"You might have to work pretty hard," he said
very softly. "As I said, you’d be amazed at how many people still
operate under the radar."
"I don’t know. I can be pretty
persistent."
"You should have been a detective," he said
without any expression.
"I don’t like this enough to do it for a
living. I don’t like it at all. You know why I did it?"
"What do you want?"
"I want you to leave my friend alone. You
have one day to call it off and explain everything. Everything. And
if you don’t, I will."
"Oh, okay," he nodded without betraying any
emotion. For the first time, Emily couldn’t read him. "Anything
else?" he asked.
"No, I think that’ll do it." She slid her
folder to him, then turned and walked out.
He picked up the wedding announcement and
turned it over. He looked at the closed door as he sat down,
picking up the phone and taking a deep breath. "It’s me. I’m afraid
we need to move this a little more quickly than we’d thought."
Miranda knocked on Richard’s door at eleven.
He was on the phone and looked up when she came in, holding up his
finger. "I’m sorry, I have to go. Yes, I’ll call you back." Then he
hung up. "Come in."
Miranda closed the door after her. She sat in
the chair across from Richard, carefully placing her hands on top
of his desk. "Sorry to bother you," she said softly.
"It’s okay. I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you
last night after you came home. I had to sort some things
through."
Miranda looked away and nodded. "Is
everything okay with Jess?"
"Everything’s fine now. But...don’t be
surprised if you see someone standing guard when you go home."
Miranda looked up at him. "Are you kidding
me?"
"No."
"That’s what you call everything being
okay?"
"That’s me making everything okay."
"Can I help?"
He shook his head. "No, I really don’t think
so." He sighed. "But that’s not what’s bothering you."
"Well, not the only thing." She looked down.
"Is Michael back?" she whispered.
"What?"
"Did Michael come back, and you didn’t tell
me for some reason? If that’s what happened, I’m not going to be
angry with you, I just need you to tell me now."
"What if he was back? What would you do?"
Richard asked with a raised eyebrow.
Miranda looked up. His heart almost broke
looking at her. "I don’t know," she said. "But I’ll know if you
tell me that he’s back."
Richard came around the desk and hugged her.
She squeezed him back. "Sweetie, I would have told you if he’d come
back."
"Really, Richard? You wouldn’t have thought
it was best not to? One more secret for everyone else’s good?"
"That’s not fair."
"But is it true?"
He took her hands. "I miss him too. Sometimes
I wish he were back." He squeezed her hand. "What made you think
he’s back?"
"Because he’s everywhere," she said
pleadingly. "He’s in my dreams—but he’s always there. He’s there
when I wake up; he’s there when I go to sleep. I thought I could
finally live with that. But now I’m seeing him everywhere. In the
library. In the café, when I hear music." She closed her eyes.
"When I’m walking down the street. When I look at my computer." She
laughed, aware now of how ridiculous she sounded. "Everywhere. And
I can’t make him go away."
Richard would never tell her what it had been
like when Michael had left. How Richard had to stay with him so he
wouldn’t hurt himself. How Michael had wept when Richard drove him
to the airport. How Michael had forced himself to go only by
reminding himself over and over that Miranda had begged him to
leave. Richard would never tell Miranda how much Michael had loved
her.
"I think it’s normal," he said finally.
She laughed. "Now that’s not a word we’d
usually apply to this situation."
"I mean it. I know what it’s like to lose
someone. It takes years for it to go away." He paused. "Maybe it
never really does, but it gets better after a while."
"I’m never going to be able to move on being
like this, Richard. I’m never going to have anything—with anyone—if
he’s still in my heart." She looked down at the floor. "Alex asked
me to marry him."
"Is that what you want?"
"I—I don’t know," she said miserably. "I
remember wanting it. I remember when that was all I wanted. But I
don’t want him like I wanted Michael. I don’t look at him and see
only him. It’s not fair to marry him unless I do."
"Maybe that’s why you’re seeing Michael
everywhere," Richard said gently.
Miranda took a deep breath. "That’s what
Emily said. And you two are the smartest people I’ve ever met, so
you must be right." She looked up, determined. "I guess I should
talk to someone."
"You can talk to me," he said sincerely, "and
Zainab."
"I know, and I love you both for it. But I
want to talk to someone who...didn’t see me cry my eyes out for
months. You know, someone who doesn’t know how easily I can be
broken."
Richard rubbed her arm. "No one ever thought
you were broken."
"Just not whole then," she said quietly. "Do
you think you can give me the number of Jessie’s therapist?"
~~~
Miranda called Doctor Wolfe’s office that
afternoon. The woman she spoke to on the phone did not sound
hopeful that he would be available to meet, but said she would call
back later that afternoon. So Miranda was very surprised when the
woman called back five minutes later to say that Doctor Wolfe could
meet with her after work.
Miranda had been in the waiting room for five
minutes when Doctor Wolfe appeared. "Please come in, Miss
Harel."
Miranda was uncharacteristically fidgety when
she sat on the leather couch. The doctor sat and nodded his head as
he watched her try to comfortably arrange her hands and legs. "Is
there something I can get you? Some water or coffee?"
"No, no." Miranda felt like sitting on her
hands. "I’m sorry," she laughed. "I just didn’t realize how nervous
I was going to be about coming here."
"It’s not uncommon," he said but didn’t
smile. "Why don’t we start with why you wanted to come in?"
Miranda nodded and looked at her feet. That
felt better. "I, um, I guess I wanted to talk about my husband. My
ex-husband."
"When did your marriage end?"
"Two and a half years ago."
"How long were you married?"
She smirked. "About three months."
"I see." It seemed like he was writing
something down. "And why did your marriage end?"
"Because I found out he's my cousin."
~~~
Miranda left Doctor Wolfe’s office with the
strangest sensations. On the one hand, it had been cathartic to
talk about Michael and how they’d come together and then apart.
She’d never been able to tell anyone in a way that made sense. But
she felt like she got it right in Doctor Wolfe’s office. She could
talk about her passion and love for Michael without judgment. A
weight, however small, felt like it had lifted off her chest.
Yet...she still had butterflies in her
stomach. Everything was fine as long as she had looked at the floor
or her hands or some of the masks on the wall. But as soon as she
looked at Doctor Wolfe’s steely blue eyes, she was nervous in a way
she hadn’t felt since she was a little girl meeting all of the
people in Alex’s life for the first time. She made a face. Maybe
she was more ashamed of what happened with Michael than she wanted
to let on. Maybe that was a useful insight.
Emily was on edge Wednesday morning. Mitch
had come home late the night before, again. Her patience was
wearing thin. She was tired of feeling like a single parent, as she
had since Hellie had been two months old. It wasn’t just his long
hours at work, because Emily knew Mitch had only so much control
over that. He’d spend at least an hour on the computer when he did
get home, no matter how late, and she’d usually wake up to find him
dressed and working on the computer again.
"Since you’re at work sixteen hours a day, do
you think you can do your work there?" she asked testily that
morning.
"Do you want me to get a leg up or not?" he
answered just as angrily. "I can’t do everything at the
office."
"Right, because even the security guards get
to go home at some point."
Going to work, for Emily, was a relief, and
dealing with the Robert Lester or Teague or whatever his name was
seemed fun in comparison. But the truth was that she was
desperately lonely. She called the babysitter to see if she could
stay a few hours later that night for a much needed girl’s night
out.
"I am so up for that!" Miranda said when
Emily announced her plan. "What should we do?"
"I’m game for anything as long as we keep the
alcohol to a minimum." She raised her eyebrows. "Male
strippers?"
Miranda turned up her nose. "You’re kidding
right?"
"Yeah, but I thought we could negotiate from
there."
"Dancing?"
Emily nodded her head. "Yeah, that sounds
good."
"And no men allowed, right?"
"Not a single lousy one of them," Emily said.
She called Zainab and Miranda called Jessie. Emily listened in on
the conversation a bit, just to make sure it went okay. Today was
Bobby’s deadline. Maybe this wasn’t the best night.
"All set!" Miranda said as she slammed down
the phone. "I told Jessie to meet us here."
"Zainab will be here at six-thirty."
"Perfect!" Miranda said as she high-fived
Emily.
~~~
The engineers had left by six. At six thirty,
Zainab walked in, more decked out than Emily had ever seen her. She
tossed Miranda the bag of clothes she’d asked her to pick up for
her and Emily. "I did mention that this was a guy-free night,
right?"
Zainab sat on Emily’s desk. "You did, but I
thought it might not hurt for Richard to see me as he left."
"Good plan," Emily whispered as she and
Miranda ran into the bathroom to change.
Richard walked out of his office ten minutes
later and gasped. "Oh, wow!" he said appreciatively. Zainab did a
little turn, then kissed him. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"Sheer coincidence," she giggled. "The girls
and I are going out tonight, but I thought I’d say hello before we
had to leave."
Emily and Miranda came back out. Richard
smiled. "Oh, girls’ night out, huh?" Richard kissed Zainab again.
"You sure you can’t make an exception for a male chaperone?"
Before Emily could give her indignant reply,
Jessie bounced up the stairs. "Hey there!" Emily said, giving
Jessie a hug. "Don’t you look as gorgeous as ever?"
"Just born that way, I guess."
"So what’s going on?" Emily said as casually
as she could.
"I’m just waiting for everyone else so we can
get this show on the road!"
Miranda looked at Emily. "Everyone else?"
"Well, yeah," Jessie said. "Richard’s here,
but we’re still waiting on Bobby and Mitch."
Emily’s eyes widened. She looked at Miranda.
"Did you think girls’ night out meant something different than I
did?"
"Uh, no," Miranda said slowly. "Why is Bobby
coming?"
"Because he called Emily and she said it was
okay," she said in a monotone. "Right?"
Emily took a deep breath. "Wrong. Jessie, we
need to talk."
Footsteps up the stairs. Not Bobby or Mitch,
but Alex. Miranda stood back. "Alex, what are you doing here?"
"Didn’t you leave a message for me to meet
you here tonight?"
She looked at Emily and Richard. She shook
her head. "I didn’t call today—I thought I was going to see you
tomorrow."
More footsteps. A moment later, Mitch
appeared. "Wow, honey, you look great!" Mitch exclaimed. "I guess
this was worth being summoned out of work so early."
"It’s almost seven," Emily said without
thinking. "And you’ve been at work since six-thirty this morning.
But I didn’t summon you anywhere."
"Yeah you did. You left a message with my
secretary and told her that if I wanted to come home at all I’d
better get my ass over here by seven. Lucky you my boss didn’t
object to an early night." Mitch looked around. "Is this a couples’
night out thing? I guess I was hoping for some alone time if I was
leaving work."
Emily felt like the room was spinning. "I
didn’t talk to Bobby, or Bob or Robert or whatever his name is. I
didn’t call Mitch." She looked at Miranda. "You didn’t call Alex."
She looked at the room. "Ladies and gentlemen, I suggest we all
leave right now."
Before anyone could move, there were more
footsteps. Emily gasped when she saw Lucy Bartolome appear.
"Richard, darling, what’s going on?"
Zainab felt Richard’s fingers tighten around
hers. "Mother, what are you doing here?"
"You left a message and told me I needed to
come here at seven. You said there was an urgent matter with
Jessie." She turned and saw Alex. "What is he doing here?"