The Chesapeake Diaries Series (35 page)

Didn’t that just sum it all up?

She tried to read, and she tried to watch TV. She put her favorite movie into the DVD player and tried to find the humor, but even
Ghostbusters
couldn’t
keep her focused. Her mind wandered, replaying the moments of the past ten days that she’d spent with Grady. It had all seemed surreal. She’d dated now and then over the past few years, but she hadn’t gotten involved with anyone since she moved to St. Dennis. Alternately, she berated herself for having fallen into a relationship with him so easily, and regretting that it had ended before she was ready to let him go.

The rest of the week brought more of the same. She met with her insurance agent, met with Hal and Sue and went over the very short list of items stolen by Edmund Dent. The only difference was that she was now sleeping in the spare bedroom. She’d tried sleeping in her own bed, but even after washing the bed linens, she swore she could still smell traces of his aftershave on the pillows, and that had made for one too many sleepless nights. She needed to be able to function if she were to get her shop organized to reopen as soon as the window was repaired. They were into June already and the foot traffic on Charles Street was picking up with every passing day. Her agent showed her how to calculate the amount of business loss she’d sustained—how much she was losing every day the shop was unable to open—so while she could expect some compensation for the interruption of her business, it wasn’t the same as having her shop open and dealing with the public. She loved Bling, her customers loved Bling, and she couldn’t wait till she could reopen. She missed the interaction, the fun of helping a customer find that exactly right something that made their face light up. Then, she figured, life would return to normal. All she really wanted was for things to feel normal again.

It was hard not to think that fate had been incredibly and deliberately unkind to her. The simple fact was that she’d met the best guy last. Everything about him had been right, except the timing.

Right guy, wrong time.

Hal sat on the chair in the corner of Maggie’s room at the Inn at Sinclair’s Point and watched her finish packing.

“… want to get things settled back there, close that book, so to speak,” she was saying. “I don’t know why Carl left that ranch to me instead of to his boys. No wonder they resent me.” She shook her head. “I have to make that right for them. I don’t deserve it and I don’t want it.”

“Have you told them that?” he asked.

“Oh, yes. I called them on Tuesday morning and told them I’d be back before the weekend. I asked them to set up an appointment for Friday afternoon or Saturday morning with Carl’s lawyer so that I could make the arrangements to put it all in their names as soon as possible. They sounded shocked—I think they were afraid I’d sell it out from under them—but by the time we finished our conversation, I think they understood.” She closed her suitcase and turned to face him. “I’ll be very relieved once that is done. It’s been hanging over me like a dust cloud since Carl died.”

“And then what?”

“Then …” She shrugged. “I’m not sure what I’ll do then. I have a couple of options.”

“Would one of them be coming back here?”

“I would like that. I’m not going to pretend that I
wouldn’t. I think over time, Vanessa and I can smooth things out between us. We may never be as close as some mothers and their daughters, but I think we can do better in the future than we’ve done in the past. But Beck … I don’t know that he’d ever be any happier to see my face than he was at the wedding.” Maggie shook her head. “I don’t know what I was thinking, putting myself in a position that would only alienate him even more. I think he hates me, Hal.”

“Hate’s
a strong word,” he told her. “It may not be all that bad.”

“Even you don’t sound as if you really believe that, but I thank you for trying to make me feel better.” She grabbed the handle of the suitcase and started to slide it off the bed, but Hal got up and took it from her hands. “And that is the very least I have to thank you for. You are the most amazing man I have ever known, and I’ve been waiting for a long time to tell you—”

“Now, Maggie, you don’t need to feel that you have to apologize.”

“It’s taken me forever to get up the nerve to say this, so let me have my say.” She cleared her throat and fought back tears, but she might never have this chance again, and he had to hear what she had to say. “I don’t understand all of what I’ve done in my life but that’s a topic for a different time. But what I do know, what I do understand, is that I’ve spent my entire life trying to find you again. In every relationship I had, every man I met, I was looking for you. I don’t expect you to forgive me—I can’t ask that of you after almost forty years—but I want you to know that I have never loved anyone but you. I know how that
must sound to you after all this time, but it’s the truth. I can’t make up for all those years between then and now, but if you’d be my friend, Hal, I’d be grateful until the day I die.”

Hal put the suitcase down on the floor.

“Well, now,” he said, “I think that’s a good place to start. Relationships based on friendship are the best kind. But it’s going to be very hard for us to renew our … friendship if you’re in North Dakota and I’m here in Maryland.”

“Well, we can talk on the phone, and there’s email …”

“I was thinking maybe of something a little more personal.”

She stared up at him.

“I was thinking,” he continued, “that maybe you should come back to St. Dennis after you get your affairs in order out west. Your family’s here, Maggie. You can’t repair those relationships from far away.”

“Are you sure you’d be all right with that?”

“All right?” He smiled. “I’d be … well, I’d be very happy to see where friendship might lead us.”

Maggie could barely breathe.

“Okay, then.” She nodded. “I’ll do that. I’ll come back.”

He glanced at his watch. “We need to get you to the airport if you’re going to make that plane. Sometimes the traffic builds up on that bridge over the Bay and you can sit for hours.” He picked up her suitcase. “Got everything?”

“I think so.” She looked around the room. “Yes, I have everything.”

He opened the door and stepped aside to allow her
to pass first, and walked down the wide stairwell alongside her. He chatted with Hamilton Forbes, the Realtor who’d sold him the house on Cherry Street, who was meeting his ex-wife, the mayor, Christina Pratt, for lunch. Grace Sinclair cornered him and pried the promise of an interview later that day about the arrest of Edmund Dent. Maggie joined him on the steps of the Inn while his car was brought around, and she wondered what all his friends were thinking as she and Hal left the Inn together, her suitcase in his hand.

Don’t I wish it were so
. She sighed as she got into the passenger side of his car.

“What was that all about?” Hal asked as he got behind the wheel.

“Oh, I was just thinking how nice St. Dennis is.”

“Good. Then you will come back.”

“I said I would.”

They made small talk all the way to Baltimore. When they arrived at the airport, he parked the car and walked her as far as security. As she started to thank him for the ride, he grabbed her by both shoulders and kissed her soundly.

“I’ve had something to say that I’ve waited a long time to say, too.” He wrapped his arms around her and held her. “I never loved anyone else, either, Maggie. I never loved anyone but you. I ache for all the years we lost, but if we can have a few years to spend together, it might all work out all right.”

“How could you even think … after all I’ve done …” She broke down.

“Maybe I could have tried harder to find you back then,” he told her. “Maybe we both gave up too soon.
All I know is that since you’ve been here this week, I’ve felt happier than I have in a long time. Don’t stay away, Maggie. Take care of your business, then come back.”

“Vanessa gave me the name of a doctor she spoke with here in town. She suggested that I call her for a referral to someone in North Dakota,” Maggie told him. “She thought maybe it would help me if I talked to someone.”

“Don’t ask for a referral. Keep the number, call her—Dr. Campbell—when you come back.” He kissed the top of her head. “Maybe we could both go.” Then he chuckled. “Maybe we could take Beck and get a group rate …”

“Oh, you.” She wiped the wet from her face with a tissue. “I need to go …”

“You go”—he kissed her one last time—“but come back to me, Maggie. This time, I’ll be the one waiting for you.”

“I won’t let you down, Hal.” She headed toward the security checkpoint, then turned and blew him a kiss. “I promise. This time, I won’t let you down …”

Chapter 20

Grady sat on a flat outcrop of rock and watched the Madison River rapids swirl and churn below. On the opposite bank, three rafters prepared to put into the river in the early morning light. He hoped they were all well seasoned; not far downriver was some of Montana’s most challenging water, the legendary Kitchen Sink and the Greenwave Rapids, where more than one rafter had lost his life.

He’d led this small group of hikers into Bear Trap Canyon the day before, and they’d set up camp in an area where he’d had luck in the past catching trout. So far this morning, none of his charges had ventured out of their tents, but he expected that soon all four would be up and out with their waders to cast their lines and catch their breakfast. Ordinarily, Grady would already have cast off, but today, for reasons he didn’t fully understand, he just wasn’t in the mood to fish. If that meant he’d have nothing more than an energy bar for breakfast, well, that’s what he’d have.

The rafters set off on the river, and he silently wished them luck and safe passage through the treacherous white water.

There was frost on the grass behind him, and from his perch, he watched a curious moose calf pick its way to the shore. Grady wondered where mama was; you rarely saw one without the other this time of year. The baby waded tentatively into the calm waters in this part of the river and took a long drink, then turned and scampered up the bank and disappeared into the meadow that ran behind the rock on which Grady sat.

As the sun was now fully up, Grady returned to the campsite and set about making coffee. The others would be up and about soon enough, and his workday would begin. He loved this stretch of wilderness and usually looked forward to spending a few days here, but this week, his heart wasn’t it in. He found himself looking forward to the half-hour drive back to Bozeman at the end of the day, where he’d drop off his group, so that he could head home.

But once back at his house, Grady was as restless as he’d been while out at Bear Trap Canyon. He unpacked his gear, cleaned up what needed cleaning, and threw what needed washing into the washer. He took a shower and washed off the trail dirt, then heated some frozen soup for his dinner. He tried to get into reading a James Lee Burke novel—it was set in Montana, and featured two of Grady’s favorite fictional characters—but the drive from Bozeman had taken longer than he’d anticipated and the hour was late, and he just couldn’t keep his eyes open. But once in bed, he couldn’t sleep. It took him a good hour to figure it out, but he reluctantly had to admit that he was lonely.

He’d gotten used to being alone—which he didn’t
mind—but being alone and being lonely were two different things. In a very short period of time, he’d gotten used to being with someone else, and now being
alone
felt lonely.

He rose early the next morning and set out to watch the sun rise over the mountains, a sight that never failed to touch him, but that morning, a cloak of clouds wrapped around the hills and allowed only a tinge of light to edge through. The sunset that evening lit the sky with fire, but it wasn’t the same as watching it set on the peaceful Bay from the dock in St. Dennis. By day’s end, he had to accept that nothing in his life here felt the same since he returned from Maryland, and he wasn’t so much of a fool that he couldn’t figure out why.

So what, he asked himself after his third sleepless night in a row, was he doing in Montana, and after he completed the hike he’d committed to for the following week, what reason would he have to stay?

“Hal, I think you’d better start over from the beginning.”

The mug Beck held in his right hand wavered, and he placed it on the table carefully. He, Mia, and Vanessa sat around Hal’s dining-room table, where Hal had served coffee and brought them up-to-date on the events of the past two weeks in an oh-by-the-way sort of manner.

“This all started the night of the wedding? And no one called me? Our plane didn’t take off until almost one in the morning. We could have come back—”

“And that’s exactly why we didn’t call you. It was your wedding night, Beck. You’d had a glorious wedding
and plans for an equally glorious honeymoon.” Vanessa paused. “It was a glorious two weeks, wasn’t it?”

“Oh, yes.” Mia sighed. “Totally glorious.”

“There you are,” Vanessa said. “Besides, Hal was here. He knew what to do. He handled it.”

“Well, actually, Grady handled it, mostly.” Hal looked across the table at Beck. “I hope you don’t mind, but I temporarily made him a part-time officer. Mostly because I wanted him to be able to carry, and he didn’t have a weapon with him. Since he was spending so much time with Vanessa—”

“Really?” Mia turned a happy face to her new sister-in-law. “Do tell.”

Vanessa shrugged nonchalantly. “Nothing much to tell. He was with me when the break-in was discovered, and while we were checking it out his rental car was damaged. So he offered to stay and watch my back.”

“Is he still here?” Mia turned to Hal eagerly. “Is Grady still working with you?”

“No, it was just for the one day,” Hal explained. “That’s all it took for him to get this guy and take him down.” He smiled at Mia. “The boy is good—took charge, no nonsense, figured out how to get into Ness’s house and create enough of a distraction that he could get Dent to turn his back. But once we had Dent, Grady left for home.”