On that night four months before, Schulz had fixed me an absolutely spectacular dinner that had helped get my mind off the crises of the moment, which included that ill-fated trademark-infringement lawsuit instigated by Three Bears Catering in Denver. Having the last name Bear had never been more trying. The same evening, our conversation had turned serious when Schulz had told me about his one and only fiancee. Twenty years earlier, she had served as a nurse in Vietnam. She'd been killed during an artillery shelling. Arch made an unexpected appearance after Schulz revealed this aspect of his past, and personal conversation had ended abruptly when our dinner for two became a cookout for three.
It was not long after this that the homicide investigator had asked me if I'd like to get rid of a whole bunch of problems by changing my last name to Schulz. He'd taken my negative answer with a heartbreaking look.
No matter how much I enjoyed Schulz, the memory of the emotional black hole within my marriage to John Richard still remained. Many of my single women friends complained of loneliness, now that they were divorced. But my worst experience of loneliness, of lovelessness, of complete abandonment, had come when I was married. For that I blamed the institution, and not the man. Intellectually, I knew this was wrong. Still, emotionally, I never wanted to get into another situation where it was even possible to feel that low.
I put the Range Rover back into third and chugged my way through deep slush on the dirt road. I thought back, involuntarily, to John Richard and his showers of blows, to the punch to my ear that had sent me reeling across the kitchen, to the way I screamed and beat my hands against the floor. I started to tremble.
Pulling the Rover to the side of the road, I rolled down the window. Take it easy, girl. The snow made a soft, whooshing sound as it fell. Listening to it, feeling the chilled air and the occasional icy flake on my face, chased away the ugly memories. I looked out at the whitened landscape, breathing deeply. And then my eye caught something on the road, half covered with snow.
It was a dead deer. I turned away immediately. It was an unbearable sight, and yet something you saw all the time here, deer and elk smashed by cars going too fast to swerve away. Sometimes the cracked and bloodied carcasses lay by the side of the road for days, their open, huge brown eyes causing pain to any who cared to be caught in that sightless gaze.
Oh, God, why had I been the one to find Keith Andrews? Had he, too, had that experience of thinking he was loved and admired? The black hole of hatred had come over him so suddenly, so prematurely, and now his parents were en route back from Europe to bury him.... Involuntarily, I thought of my heart as I had imagined it after John Richard. It was an organ torn in half, a rent, ripped, and useless thing. My heart would never be healed, I had become convinced; it would just lie forever like an animal by the side of the road, smashed and dead.
Oh, get a grip! I revved the engine and recklessly gunned the Rover off the shoulder and onto the road. An evening with Schulz didn't need to cause such emotive eruption. You're just going there for dinner, Goldy. You can handle it.
7
When I pulled into his dirt driveway, Schulz was kneeling on the ground. Despite the weblike layer of new snow, he was spading soil energetically by the irregular flagstone walk that led to his front door.
"Hi there." I climbed carefully out of the Rover with the loaf of Irish bread. The image of the fallen deer still haunted me: I didn't trust myself to say anything else.
He turned and stood. Clods of wet soil clung to his jeans and jacket. "What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry, please finish what you're doing. I just - " My voice wobbled. Damn. The words were tumbling out; I was shaking my head, appalled at how shaken I was. "I just saw a dead animal by the side of the road and it reminded me... no, no, please," I said as he started to move toward me. "Please finish what you were doing."
He regarded me with one eye crinkled in appraisal. After a moment he crouched down again. "It never will leave you," he said without looking at me. "Seeing a real dead body is nothing like the movies." His large, capable fingers reached for a handful of bulbs and carefully pressed them at intervals into the newly spaded trough. Gently he refilled the area with potting soil from a bag. The gesture reminded me of putting a blanket around a sleeping child.
I breathed lungfuls of the sharp air. I hugged the fragrant bread. Although I wore a down coat, it felt as if my blood had stopped circulating.
"Cold?" Schulz asked. "Need to go in?" I shook my head. "I'm sorry you were the one who had to find him," he said gruffly. He finished patting down the soil, rose easily, and put an arm around my shoulders. "Come on, I made you some nachos. Then I need you to look at something."
We came through his sculpted-wood door and entered the large open space that was his living room. I stopped to admire the moss-rock fireplace that reached up two stones between rough-hewn mortared logs. A carefully set pile of aspen and pine logs lay in the grate. On I one Shaker-style table was a pot Arch had made at the end of sixth grade. On a wall was an Arch-made woodcut print of a.45, the kind Schulz carried. A pickled-oak I hutch held a display of Staffordshire plates and Bavarian I glass. The sparse grouping of an antique sink and a cupboard between the sofa and chairs upholstered in nubby brown wool gave the place a homey feel. When I had complimented Schulz on his good taste during my last visit, he had replied without missing a beat: "Of course. Why d'you think I'm courting you?"
Nachos Schulz
1 15-ounce can chili beans in chili gravy
9 tablespoons picante sauce
1 15-ounce bag corn tortilla chips
4 cups grated cheddar cheese
1 avocado
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1 « cups sour cream
1 tablespoon grated onion
4 scallions, both white and green parts, chopped
1 cup pitted black olives, chopped
1 tomato, chopped
Preheat the oven to 400. Mash the beans with « cup of the picante sauce until well mixed. Grease 2 9- by 13- inch pans. Place half the chips in each pan, then spoon the bean mixture over them. Sprinkle the grated cheese on top. Bake for about 10 minutes or until the cheese is melted and the beans are bubbling. Meanwhile, peel, pit, and mash the avocado, then mix it with the lemon juice, « cup of the sour cream, the grated onion, and 1 tablespoon picante sauce. Garnish the nachos with the guacamole, the remaining 1 cup sour cream, scallions, tomato, and olives. Makes 6 to 8 servings.
I moved away from that thought and arrived in the kitchen just as he was pulling an au gratin casserole out of the oven. The platter was heaped with sizzling corn chips, refried beans, and melted cheddar. A complicated smell of Mexican spices filled the air.
"Agony," I said when he had placed the platter in front of me and relieved me of the Irish bread. But I smiled.
"Wait, wait." He rummaged around in the refrigerator, then brought out tiny bowls and sprinkled chopped scallions, tomatoes, and black olives on top of the melted cheese. With a directorial flourish, he brandished - yes! - an ice cream scoop that he used to ladle perfect mounds of sour cream and guacamole on top of the platter of chips.
"Nachos Schulz," he announced with a proud grin. "For this, we use the special china." He brought out a beautiful pair of translucent Limoges plates painted with tiny, stylized roses.
"These must have set you back a bit," I said with admiration. "You don't expect to find a china collector in the Sheriff's Department."
"What do I have to spend money on? Besides, the Sheriff's Department is an equal-opportunity employer. You can have any hobby that helps get your mind off your job."
"Beans, cheese, tomatoes, and avocado are all aphrodisiac foods."
"Is that right? Well, Goldy, we both know you're impervious to all that." We laughed. It was good to be with him; I felt my anxiety recede. Digging into the Mexican mountain, Schulz retrieved a loaded chip stringy with hot cheese. "Open up, ma'am."
I held a plate under my chin and let him pop the nacho into my mouth. Heaven. I closed my eyes and made appropriate moans of pleasure.
"Speaking of aphrodisiacs," he said when we were halfway through the platter, "I need to ask you something about a book. Belonged to Keith Andrews."
"Oh, that reminds me..." I handed him the rock that had broken our upstairs window, then the Neiman-Marcus credit card. I had put the rock in a plastic bag; Schulz eyed it, turned it over in his big hands, then laid it carefully aside. Between bites he studied the credit card, ran his fingers over the letters and numbers, then pocketed it without indicating what he was thinking. He put a last chip into his mouth and slid off his barstool all in one motion. When I hesitated, he gestured for me to follow.
Like many of the more rustic homes in the mountains, Schulz's did not have a garage. I put on my coat and followed him outside to his car, where he opened the trunk and carefully emptied out a plastic bag onto some more plastic.
"Look but don't touch," he warned. Not knowing what this was about or why I was doing it, I peered in and saw a jumble of papers, pens, and half-eaten pencils; Stanford, Columbia, and Princeton catalogues and pamphlets; a few books - a German-English dictionary, Faust, as well as the Cliff's Notes for same; Professor Romeo and Aceing the ACT; several old copies of the Mountain Journal, and some frayed articles held together with staples.
"What's all this?"
"Stuff from the trunk of Keith Andrews' car. You probably didn't notice his old Scirocco over in the corner of the parking lot at the school. I've got custody of this stuff until tomorrow. His locker had more textbooks and some papers, but given that he was a supposed computer whiz, it's odd we can't find any disks. The department's checking the locker contents out. No credit cards or bills, though, we know that."
"Why show me?"
He leaned against the trunk lid and looked up at the dark clouds. After a moment he shook his head. "I don't understand that school. I talk and talk to people and nothing comes up. The kid was smart, but not well liked. He worked hard on extracurricular activities, but nobody admired him for it. He brought back postcards from Paris for the whole French Club, and according to Arch, nobody thanked him. His windshield got broken, but by whom? Somebody hated him enough to kill him by bashing in his head. It doesn't sound like the supportive school community the headmaster is trying to convince me it is."
"His windshield got broken? When? What do you mean, according to Arch ?"
"I talked to Arch this morning. He called me about some snake in his locker."
I shook my head. Unbelievable. Why not just label myself obsolete?
"Anyway," Schulz was saying, "Arch told me what I'd already heard from a parent, that Dawson fellow, that Julian and Keith Andrews had had some kind of argument a few weeks ago. I guess things got kind of out of hand. Keith's windshield ended up getting shattered, but not at the time of the argument."
"When, then?" Why didn't Julian ever tell me things like this?
"Before one of the bigwig college reps showed up at the school, is what I was told." He paused. "Do you think Julian's ashamed of being raised without money, his parents down in Utah, him having to work for and live with you his senior year, anything like that? Something Keith Andrews could have made fun of?"
"Not that I know of," I said firmly. Julian's financial situation caused him pain, but he had never mentioned students' ridiculing him for it. "I do think they had a girlfriend dispute," I said lamely. "Remember, Julian told us about it."
"This argument was different. This took place last week in front of the Mountain Journal offices. Arch was in the Rover, didn't hear the whole thing, said that it had something to do with schools. Seems Julian was worried that Keith was going to write something negative about Elk Park Prep, when everyone was uptight enough already about the college application process. All they can say over at the paper was that Keith was doing some kind of expose. They were going to read it before they decided whether or not to print it."
"Expose about what?"
"About Elk Park Prep, I think." He gestured at the stuff in the trunk. "About test scores. About using Cliff's Notes. About a professor who thinks he's a Romeo. About taxes, for God's sake." Before I could ask him what he meant by that, he picked up a typed letter that had been done on perforated computer-printer paper. The letter looked like a draft. Words had been crossed out and new words hand-printed above. Mr. Marensky, it read, I'd be more than happy to pay you your two hundred dollars if you'd call the director of admissions at Columbia for me. Or maybe you'd prefer I call the IRS? IRS had a line through it, and Internal Revenue Service had been neatly written above it.
"I don't get it." Schulz shrugged. "Stan Marensky had Keith do some yardwork for him. Marensky gave Keith a check for six hundred dollars for a four-hundred-dollar job with the agreement that Keith would refund him two hundred in cash. That way, Marensky could claim a six-hundred-dollar expense on his taxes. Petty thievery, not all that uncommon, and Marensky owned up to it pretty quick."
