The Calling (19 page)

Cate blushed, “Mrs. Garcia.”

“Miss Cate, I do not mean to upset you. I know that you care for each other.”

“You’re mistaken.”

“I see what neither of you mean for anyone to see. I see that you love
him
, not Mr. Matthew, and he loves
you
, not Miss Kim.”

“You’re wrong,” Cate protested.

Mrs. Garcia shook her head, “I do not think so
mi
amiga
.”

Cate melted, tears welling up in her eyes, “I do love him, Mrs. Garcia, but I don’t think he loves me.”

“I think you are wrong. I see it when he is with you, and when he speaks of you. You are wrong, and I know the little one, she loves you with all her heart.”

“I don’t believe that he does, but even if he does, we, we can’t…” Cate clutched at her stomach,
Why can’t I stop this?

“But,
mi
hija
, if you love him, and he loves you, he should be with you.”

Cate took a deep breath, “He can’t be with me.”

“Why
chica
bonita
?”

In tears, Cate explained, “Mrs. Garcia, I’m divorced, and if he married me, he couldn’t be a missionary with the agency that sent him. He would lose his ministry here.”

“I am sorry, Miss Cate.” She reached into her dress and handed a handkerchief to Cate, “I did not mean to make you sad. I should not have spoken.”

“It’s okay. I know that you meant well,” Cate wiped her eyes, “believe me, I wish that it could be as you say.”

Mrs. Garcia comforted her, with pats of affection, trying not to draw the children’s attention to what was happening. “Miss Cate, I will say no more. I will mention it to no one.”

“Thank you and, I appreciate your good intentions,” Cate sniffed.

“You are most welcome.”

Cate quickly wiped her face when she saw Sarah came running toward them.

“Can we have some more lemonade?”

“Yes,
hija
, I will get more,” Mrs. Garcia answered.

“
Muchas gracias
Mrs. Garcia,” Sarah said.

“You are welcome,
mi
niña
.”

After she brought more lemonade, Mrs. Garcia said her goodbyes and went home.

For the rest of the evening, Cate’s mind constantly replayed Mrs. Garcia’s comments. It was evident to Cate that Kim must have noticed the same thing that Mrs. Garcia had. That was why she had confronted her about David. Cate wondered if Matthew suspected her feelings for David.
Maybe that’s why he hasn’t proposed to me?
Moreover, she wondered if Mrs. Garcia was right about David’s feelings for her. Mrs. Garcia’s observations caused her to have hopes-and regrets. Their situation was a ‘no win’ situation. She wished she could change it but, she knew there was no chance
.

Twenty One

The following day Cate awoke still thinking about her dilemma. She and Sarah gathered up what they needed for the day and went to school.

As she arrived, the first person she met was Matthew. She hoped that she did not appear as guilty as she felt. Mrs. Garcia’s knowledge of her true feelings for David made her feel uneasy. She knew that if Matthew found out, he would be hurt, and she didn’t want that. She did love him;
at least that’s what I keep telling myself
. Anyway, he loved her, and she wanted to be married to a man who truly loved her. But, she could not convince herself to marry Matthew.

Cate welcomed the children to class and focused on her responsibilities, putting the thoughts that plagued her to a backburner. She was grateful for the break from her struggle.

The day was a normal school day. The children were excited about being back, and about seeing Cate. They were eager to learn, and Cate was glad. There was no time to consciously consider Mrs. Garcia’s comments.

A few minutes before school was to end, Matthew poked his head in the door and asked to speak with her. As she walked slowly toward him, her sense of guilt took over.

“What are you and Sarah up to tonight?”

She tried hard to sound nonchalant, “Nothing special.”

“Is it okay if I come over?”

“After a free meal, huh?”

“That’s an added bonus,
if
you’re inviting me to dinner, but I really want to spend time with my favorite girl.”

Cate had no excuse to decline, “We’re having leftovers.”

“That sounds great.”

“Okay, we’ll eat about five.”

When the bell rang, Matthew went to his office as Cate gathered up Sarah and started for home. Even though Sarah vied for her attention, her fear that Matthew might sense her inner turmoil captured her thoughts. Suddenly, a new fear took over, what if Matthew was coming over to propose? She prayed silently, but fervently for God’s help.

When they arrived home, both changed clothes and relaxed for a few minutes, by watching a Veggie Tales video. Before the video ended, Cate went to the kitchen to re-heat some of the food Mrs. Garcia had prepared.

Matthew arrived at five on the dot. When he knocked, Sarah ran to open the door.

“Hello, Mr. Matthew. Dinner is ready.”

“Very good, Miss Sarah, will you escort me to the table?” Matthew reached out his hand, for Sarah to walk him to the table. As they entered the kitchen, he saw Cate putting the final touches to the meal. “It looks great. I’m hungry.”

“Dinner is served, Mr. Kennedy.”

“Bragging about your cooking skills, huh,” Matthew winked.

“Bragging about Mrs. Garcia’s cooking skills.” Cate corrected, as she asked Sarah to say grace.

Small talk about school and the trip to the
Jivaro
village made up dinner conversation, after which Cate did dishes, while Matthew helped Sarah practice writing her letters and numbers. Once finished with dishes and homework, they played Chinese checkers. Sarah won two games out of three.

Eight o’clock was Sarah’s bedtime. As the clock struck eight, Sarah excused herself so she could put on her pajamas. When she came back, she said goodnight to Matthew and asked Cate to tuck her in.

“I’ll be back shortly,” Cate said.

As Cate tucked her in, Sarah grabbed Cate around the neck, “I love you Cate.”

“I love you too, Baby Girl. Sweet dreams.”

Cate made her way back to the living room, dreading being alone with Matthew.

When he saw her, he smiled, “Sarah’s such a wonderful girl.”

“Yes, she is.”

Matthew’s face took on a serious look and Cate said a silent prayer,
Oh, God no. Please no.
But, her prayer was not answered.

“Cate,” Matthew said, as he took her hand. “Do you remember me telling you that once your mother was better that I wanted to talk to you about something?”

Afraid to look him in the eye, Cate stared at the floor, whispering, “Yes.”

“Cate, I know that this should be done in a more romantic atmosphere, but I couldn’t wait any longer.”

Cate sighed and interrupted, “Oh, Matthew.”

“Please, let me finish,” he dropped to one knee.

Cate looked up and reluctantly, barely above a whisper, responded, “Okay.”

“Cate, I love you more than I can say, and I want you to be my wife. Will you please marry me?”

She looked away, all the breath left her body, “Matthew...”

He was taken aback by her lack of an enthusiastic ‘yes’, “Cate, I know that you care for me.”

“Yes, I do, I really do… But I–I can’t marry you, not right now.”

“Why?”

“Matthew, there is
so much
that you don’t know about me.”

“I know enough,” he rose from his knee, and sat beside her.

“I don’t think that’s true. I don’t think it’s true at all.”

He bent down trying to make eye contact, “If you think there’s more I need to know, then tell me.”

“I think we need more time to get to know each other.”

“You mean
you
need more time.” He sat erect, his tone betraying his hurt, “I don’t.”

“Yes, I guess, I mean-I need more time.”

“But, you’re not saying
no
. Are you? You’re just saying… not now?”

Cate bit her lip and stared at the floor, “I’m saying not now.”

“I can live with
not now
, because that means
maybe later
,” he kissed her gently on the cheek.

“I’m sorry, Matthew.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about. I’ll wait—until you
are
ready.” He gently placed his hand under her chin, “Please look at me.”

Cate slowly raised her head and looked at him.

Now he could see clearly the pain on her face. “Cate,” he tenderly touched her face with his hand.

Cate placed her hand on his, “Thank you for being so understanding,”

“Sure,” he looked at his watch. “I probably ought to be going. I need to get to school early tomorrow.”

“Matthew, I’m sorry.”

“I told you, it’s all right.”

“I’m not sure it really is,” Cate took his hand and walked him to the door.

“Look, I love you, and I’d marry you tomorrow if I could, but if you need more time, you’ve got it. I want you to be sure. I want our marriage to last forever,” he kissed her softly and said goodnight.

As she closed the door, Cate thanked God that Matthew was the type of man that he was. She prayed that God would help her stop loving David, and help her love Matthew.

She fell asleep that night praying and looking at the mountains in the distance. They never failed to remind her that God was an ever-present source of strength and help. Once again, she committed her life unreservedly to Him.

The next morning she awoke with a sense of peace. She might not know what her future held, but she knew
who
held it. That was enough for her.

The days following Matthew’s proposal were busy. Not only did she have her regular teaching load, she had volunteered to supervise the kindergarten through second grade musical presentation for National Community Day on February 27. That took extra planning and meetings after school, and prevented her from spending time with Matthew.

*****

David, Kim, Dr. and Mrs. Patterson came home the following Saturday. They had been gone for ten days and were excited about the results of their trip. Matthew, Cate, and Sarah listened with great interest as everyone recounted the events of the past ten days.

During the visit to the village, the group shared the gospel while the
Jivaro
man and others served as interpreters. By the end of that first day, more than 100 people had accepted Christ, and at week’s end one thousand villagers had become Christians. David and Dr. Patterson promised to return in two weeks.

“It was a life changing experience,” Kim said.

“For all of us,” Dr. Patterson added.

“I’ve had the Lord bless my efforts in great ways before,” David said, “but this is the first massive outpouring of His Spirit that I’ve been privileged to be a part of.”

Touched by the group’s excitement, Matthew said, “It must have been awesome.”

Dr. Patterson nodded, “It was like our own Pentecost.”

“It was wonderful,” Mrs. Patterson said.

Matthew looked at David, “Did you say you were returning in about two weeks?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Who’s going this time?”

“If you’re wondering if you’ll have to cover my classes again, the answer is no,” Kim answered.

“Probably, Dr. Patterson and I will go.” David smiled at Matthew, “Do I hear your offer to join us?”

“You heard wishful thinking,” Matthew answered.

“We’d love to have you,” David said, as Dr. Patterson nodded in agreement.

“I wish I could, but with National Community Day coming up I have a lot to do.”

“National Community Day!” Kim threw up her hands, “I totally forgot about that. I’m going to be so far behind at school.”

“You
would
be,
if
you hadn’t had a super substitute covering your classes,” Matthew said.

“And, who was that super sub?”

“Me of course,” Matthew answered, with a grin.

“You?”

“Me.”

“Thanks boss,”’ Kim hugged him, after receiving a nod of permission from Cate.

Mr. Patterson looked at his watch and stood, “I’m afraid we must be going.”

“Are you sure you won’t stay for lunch?” Cate asked.

“Thank you, but if we don’t leave now, we won’t get home until late afternoon,” Dr. Patterson said.

“I’ll walk you out,” David offered. Sarah followed her daddy and the Pattersons out the door.

Kim turned to Matthew, “Anything interesting happen while we were gone?”

Immediately on hearing Kim’s question, Cate and Matthew locked gazes. Matthew thought about his proposal to Cate, “Uh, nothing at all.”

“Well, since you two are such good friends,
I
have an announcement.” Kim’s eyes sparkled with excitement, “While we were gone, David and I talked about marriage.”

The words were like arrows through Cate’s heart. There was an immediate visceral reaction, her heart began to beat rapidly, she felt flushed and faint. She tried to steady herself.

“That’s great,” Matthew said, as he looked toward Cate.

“I thought our discussion of marriage might give
you two
the same idea,” Kim smiled at Cate and Matthew.

Matthew glanced at Cate, “We’re doing just fine the way we are—for now.”

Their discussion was interrupted as David and Sarah entered. Sarah ran to her room to play, and David joined the others in the living room.

“Well, I’m surprised at you Mr. Barnes. I can’t believe that you’re considering getting married without talking to me first,” Matthew said.

“Huh?”

“I told them what we talked about,” Kim said. “I told them we talked about getting married.”

David’s face became pale and he took an irritated breath, “Kim!”

“I know we said we’d keep it between us until we figured things out, but I didn’t think you’d mind me telling Cate and Matthew,” Kim said.

“We won’t say anything,” Matthew held up his hand, “Will we Cate?”

Still shocked by Kim’s announcement, Cate shook her head in agreement.