The California Saga (37 page)

 

 

I answered the phone not knowing who it was. “Yeah.”

Its constant buzzing had finally broken my sleep. My neck was stiff from sleeping on the couch, and my head was hurting from all the Hennessy I'd drunk the night before. My hangover was so bad, the entire room was blurry and spinning.

I figured if someone was calling so many times this early in the morning, it had to be important. I hated to be woken up out of my sleep, so I was in no mood for bullshit.

“Hey, boo,” a female voice said from the other end of the phone.

I looked at the caller ID. I didn't recognize the number, but the voice sounded familiar. “Who the fuck is this?”

“You know who it is. It's the chick you beat the shit out of then stole her car. Anyway, what did you think of your baby girl? Wasn't she beautiful? She was even dressed in a Juicy Couture onesie with matching socks and hat. Wasn't that little outfit so cute? I would have had her delivered a few days earlier, but FedEx was a little backed up.”

Lisa had the sweetest little tone to her voice, like she was shooting the shit with one of her girls. My blood was boiling as I listened to the words this bitch was saying to me.

“Lisa, if you ever muthafuckin' step foot on my property, I promise you, you won't leave this bitch walking.”

“Now is that any way to talk to a woman that holds your freedom in her hands? That was a threat, Touch. Did you forget you've already been charged with domestic violence? Now a recorded threat like that was not a smart move, honey.” Lisa laughed then hung up the phone.

Her taunting was driving me over the edge. Not only did she have my court date hanging over me, now she had a recording of me threatening her. I felt like I could drive over to that bitch house and choke the breath out of her ass that exact moment.

In no shape to do anything at the moment, I struggled to my feet and headed to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water out of the fridge. I noticed the baby doll on the kitchen counter, and as I walked past, I saw a piece of paper attached to the blanket it was wrapped in. It read:
When life comes, so does death. Time is precious. Take advantage of it while you can.

I thought to myself,
This bitch is really trying to fuck with my mental
.
Well, at least now I know who been causing all this chaos. It shouldn't be much of a problem to put an end to this.

The more I thought about Lisa and the stunts she was pulling, the angrier I got. She was playing me, and it pissed me off. I needed to figure out a way to put an end to her games.

“Stupid bitch! Do she know who the fuck I am? I will kill that bitch.” I snatched the doll from the kitchen counter and took it to the trashcan. As I came back from the garage, I met Jewel.

“Why are you yelling at this time of the morning, Touch?” she asked, tying her silk robe together.

“Sorry, babe. I didn't mean to wake you up. Go back to sleep. I just had a little too much to drink. Let's go back to bed.” I didn't want to tell Jewel about the call I'd received from Lisa or that Lisa was the culprit behind all the prank calls.

I walked with Jewel to the bedroom and hopped in bed beside her.

“I love you,” I whispered in her ear while holding her tight. “And Daddy loves you too, Junior,” I said, rubbing her belly.

An hour later I awoke. I wanted to be sure I beat Jewel out of the bed. I wanted to cook her breakfast before she started her day.

I woke Jewel up to breakfast in bed. Although I'd never said the words, “I'm sorry,” this was my way of apologizing. I knew the way to Jewel's heart. With her, it was always the little things that mattered the most. Well, money mattered to her most, but the little things came in a close second.

After breakfast Jewel hopped out of bed and rushed to get to the gym. It was Zumba day, and she didn't want to miss it. Before she left, I gave her a much-needed gift.

“Touch, you're giving me a gun?” Jewel asked with the .22-caliber in her hand.

“Yeah. Babe, I think you really need it. Especially after that baby doll incident. I can't be with you all the time, so you need some extra protection. Besides, that little taser gun you got only works close range.”

“All right.” Jewel nodded. Then she placed the gun in her purse before heading out the door.

I walked back to the bedroom feeling a little reassured. Now my only worry was that one day Jewel would get the idea to use that same gun on me. I was sure there had been plenty of times she imagined killing me.

Now that I was on my way to patching things up with her, it was on to my next task of the day. I needed to get my car from that crazy bitch, Lisa. I knew the chances of me going to her house and her actually handing the keys over without a fight was slim to none. After her phone call I knew for a fact that she would provoke me to do something terrible to her conniving ass. I definitely didn't need a murder charge on top of domestic abuse and auto theft. The more I thought about it the more it seemed that I was going to have to go over there and meet with her face to face.

 

 

The cab driver out front of my house honked his horn to signal he had arrived and was ready to leave. I opened the door and signaled for him to wait one second. It was the same greasy-haired driver I'd had before, and he didn't look too pleased to have to wait.

As I put my shoes on, I had a decision to make. Do I take my gun to Lisa's house, or do I leave it home? I had been weighing my options ever since I'd called for the cab. On one hand there was no telling what that bitch might come at me with, so it would be good to have protection. On the other hand, I didn't want to get caught with a weapons charge if she saw me coming and called the cops. I wasn't supposed to be anywhere near her, pending the outcome of her case against me.

I grabbed the handle of the gun, paused, then decided it was best to leave it home. The gun found its place next to my underwear in the dresser drawer. I was hoping I had made the right decision by going over to Lisa's unarmed.

On the ride over, I went over every scenario I could think of. I would try and talk sense to her, and hopefully she would give up the car easily. If everything went smooth, then I would be sexing this bitch in a matter of minutes. Give her some good dick then talk her into dropping the charges. If that didn't happen, I didn't have any clue what I would do. I needed to play it right. If the bitch pushed it, I wasn't sure if I could control my temper and not give her a beat-down. Force might be necessary to get my car back. The cabbie asked, “You want me to come back and pick you up later?”

“Nah. I'm picking my car up. I won't be needing your services ever again.” I handed him a twenty-dollar tip.

His eyes bugged out of their sockets. “Too bad. Not everyone tips as good as you. If you ever need a cab, you know who you can call.” I watched him as he drove off down the street. The block was quiet, not a soul around. I looked at Lisa's house and took a deep breath. I tried to keep calm as I walked up to the front door. No use in starting this thing off in a pissed-off mood.

Here we go,
I thought as I knocked on the door. I nervously rubbed my hands together as I waited for Lisa to answer. After waiting longer than normal with no answer, I banged on the door a little harder. I looked through the window and didn't see any movement in the house. I went around and looked through the windows of the garage door and saw both Lisa's car and mine.
Why ain't this bitch answering?
I thought.

I circled the house and peeked in all of the windows. Still no sign of Lisa. I had no choice. I was going to have to enter without her permission. What else could I do? She was holding my property, and I needed it back.

Luckily for me I didn't need to break any windows to get in. I knew where Lisa hid her spare key. I was happy not to attract the attention of the neighbors. I reached up and felt around the top of the window frame for the key.
Damn, it's not there!

I stepped back and looked at the window. I realized I had been feeling around on the wrong one. It was the one closer to the front door. I went to the right window and felt the key immediately.

The key easily slid into the keyhole, and I cautiously and quietly opened the door. Standing just inside the door, I listened carefully but didn't hear anyone moving around the house.

“Yo, Lisa,” I yelled.

No answer.

Jackpot!
I was going to get my car and all my shit back without having to deal with her crazy ass.

I quickly moved further into the house. My first stop was the kitchen. My car keys were sitting on the counter right where I had left them. I couldn't believe she hadn't even touched them since I had left. In one motion I grabbed the keys and dashed upstairs. I was under a time crunch. I needed to gather all of my belongings and get the hell out before Lisa came home.

The bedroom was a mess, with clothes strewn all over the floor and bed. I opened the door to the equally messy walk-in closet. All of my shoes were under a pile of Lisa's clothes. I threw the clothes into the bedroom and stared at my shoes. I realized I didn't have anything to put my stuff in. The thought of using one of

Lisa's suitcases quickly left my mind. That bitch was likely to say I stole her property and hit me with a burglary and theft charge.

I ran back downstairs and grabbed a few garbage bags from the kitchen. Bounding back up the stairs two at a time, I got a little winded. I paused for a brief moment to catch my breath at the top of the stairs. While standing there, I thought I heard a noise downstairs. I quieted my breathing to pay close attention to the sounds of the house. Satisfied that I was still alone, I continued on, easily filling up two trash bags with my clothes and shoes.

I popped the trunk of my car and threw the bags in and immediately rushed back inside to retrieve the rest of my shit. I still needed to get the flat-screen TV and Blu-ray player I'd bought. Once they were packed in the trunk I slammed it closed. I was just about to get in the car when I remembered the bag of weed I had left behind.
Can't leave the kush behind.
So I went back in one more time.

I came running back down the stairs with the bag of weed in my hand, excited at the thought of getting the hell out of that house and getting high. As soon as I hit the floor at the bottom of the steps, I was attacked from behind.

“What the fuck are you doing in my house?” Lisa jumped on my back like a lioness attacking a gazelle.

I felt my skin break and the blood flow as she sunk her claws into my neck. Caught off guard, the force of her attack knocked me over, and the weed went flying as we both struggled against each other.

Lisa was grabbing, pulling, kicking, clawing whatever she could, to inflict pain. I was trying to regain my bearings and get her off me. She was fighting with the strength of an elephant and the fury of a rabid dog. I was having trouble containing her, and she was getting some solid blows to my head and face. Not only had she scratched my neck, but she drew blood from my ear and ripped my shirt open.

I was finally able to get a good angle on her, and I hauled off on her. The force of my punch sent her flying back.

“You fuckin' crazy?” I screamed.

“What you expect me to do? I go to the store and when I get back there's someone in my house. How you think I'm gonna react?”

“It's me. Not some filthy crackhead breaking into your place.”

“You look like a crackhead to me.”

“You ain't got to be like that,” I said, trying to calm her down.

Her breathing was getting back to a normal rhythm, but she still had a wild look in her eyes.

“Like what? You broke into my house. Fool!” She tried to smooth her wild mane of hair.

“I didn't break in. I used your key to get in. I wanted to surprise you.” I took a step toward her.

“You surprised me, all right. I almost killed your ass.”

I looked at her seductively and said, “I'd like to kill that ass. Why you think I came over here? I couldn't stand being away from you.”

“Oh, yeah?” She smiled.

“I was hoping we could drop all this bullshit between us. Get back to some good lovin' like we used to.” I stepped right in on her and stroked her hair.

“We might be able to drop all this. You gonna show me how you want to kill this ass.”

I slapped her ass. “You know I do.” “Come on then.” She started walking upstairs, and I followed. When we got to her bedroom, she started walking toward her closet. I needed to stop her before she got inside and saw my shit gone. “Where you going, babe?” I grabbed her hand.

She pulled away. “I want to put on something sexy for you.”

“What for?” I reached for her hand again. “I'll just be taking it off.”

“It makes me feel sexy.” She avoided my grasp and went to the closet. It took a second, but then I heard it. “Oh no, you didn't. You muthafucka.” She came running out of the closet with a shoe in her hand.

I spun on my heels and darted down the stairs, with Lisa in hot pursuit. I went straight to my car and jumped in.

Lisa came running into the garage with a poker from the fireplace. “You gonna pay, you piece of shit!” she screamed.

I put the car in reverse and was halfway out the garage when Lisa swung and smashed the passenger side window. My tires screeched as I swung out of the driveway and slammed the car into drive, but she was able to smash the rear window as well before I could hit the gas. Her neighbors started coming from their houses.

“You're gonna regret this, Touch! You fucked with the wrong woman! Just you wait!” She threw the poker at my car as I sped down the street.

I looked in my rearview and in the distance saw Lisa still throwing a fit in the middle of the street. This bitch was legit crazy. There was no telling what she was going to come back with. But, at least, I had my car.