The Calendar of New Beginnings (24 page)

She heard a car come up the drive again and groaned. Had Andy stewed and decided to come back and face her? If there was one truth in the universe, it was that Andy Hale wasn’t a coward. She wasn’t either. It was one of the reasons why they respected each other.

So when a knock sounded distantly from the front door, she dragged herself off the bed and steeled herself for the more-than-friends chat.

Opening the door, she gaped. “Mother.”

“You and me need to have a talk, missy,” she said, steamrolling past Lucy into the cottage. “I just saw Matthew Hale drive off in your car. Andy was following him. What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing,” she lied again. “They were just doing me a favor.”

“I know when something doesn’t sound right. Did you leave your car outside the house to make me worry?”

Lucy was shaking, unable to handle her mother’s drama but unwilling to tell her the truth. If the car incident upset her this much, how would she react if she knew about Lucy’s injury?

All she needed to do was find some way to make peace with her mother. She was staying in Dare Valley for the foreseeable future. Her life would be easier if they weren’t at odds.

“No, Mother, I did not leave my car there to make you worry. I walked over to Andy’s house and had some drinks with the Hales. Moira stayed with Danny, and Andy drove me home. No big deal.”

“You do look hung over,” her mother said, narrowing her eyes as she studied her. “I noticed it the minute you opened the door. Goodness me, Lucy, you must have tied one on over there.”

All she could do was nod. It stung a little that her mother thought she was hung over rather than sick, but then again, Lucy was encouraging the lie. Guilt coiled around her like a poisonous vine. She just couldn’t take this on right now.

“I’m sorry I worried you, Mom,” she said. “Why don’t you come inside?” She decided sitting down on the couch was a good idea. Her legs were a little shaky. “I’m sorry we fought. You were right. I did blindside you.”

Her mother sat beside her, clutching her purse in her lap. “I’m glad you could admit that.”

Through the haziness of the future, one thing became clear. If she and her mother were going to keep the peace between them, she’d have to relent.

“We’ll do the calendar your way,” she said, trying not to look on it as a defeat. She could do mangoes and feathers and meat cleavers. It was the universe’s greatest joke on her that she’d have to relearn the way she took photos using cliché props, but she had to start somewhere.

Her mother only blinked at her.

“You’re right,” Lucy continued, feeling numb now. “My idea
is
sad. No one wants to dwell on death and loss. There’s plenty enough of that in the world.”
 

A part of Lucy really meant it. She didn’t want to entangle herself in all that sadness right now. It might depress her even more. Maybe this way would be fun. God knew she could use a laugh. But a part of her—the part that wanted to capture truth and meaning—was dying inside her.

She let it die.

“This is a pretty big turnaround,” her mother said, peering at her closely. “Even for you.”

“I might choke on the words, Mom, but even I can be wrong.”

Her mom’s mouth twisted. “Dammit. I was all fired up, and you had to go and apologize.”

Lucy cleared her throat. “It doesn’t happen often, so enjoy it.”

That prompted a laugh from her mother. “We have that in common, I suppose, although I can count the number of times your father has apologized to me. Three.”

Lucy really didn’t want to hear about them right now. She just wanted her mother to leave so she could curl back up on her princess bed and pretend she was somewhere else, someone else.

“Please tell the volunteers we’ll start soon. I need to find a place for us to shoot.”

“Oh, I didn’t have a chance to tell you yesterday,” her mother said, her face brightening. “Chef T offered the media room in The Grand Mountain Hotel. He uses it for his TV shows and promos. It’s fully equipped with all the lighting and sound stuff—not that we’ll need sound. But it would be funny to make a video about the making of this calendar, don’t you think?”

Right now all Lucy could focus on was the challenge of taking good enough photographs. “Let’s stick to the photos, Mother. I’m sure some people will get all weird when they have their clothes off. A videographer would only make them tense up.”

“You make a good point there,” her mother said, flicking her blond hair over her shoulder. “Not everyone is as comfortable with their bodies as I am. Except Chef T, perhaps. He’s posed for some pretty big magazines, showcasing those hot tattoos of his.”

Lucy had to be depressed—even the thought of seeing Chef T’s rippling muscles and hot tattoos didn’t ping anything inside her.

“I’ll check out the media room,” she said.

“Before he offered, it occurred to me that the university might have something available for you to use,” her mother said, “but it didn’t seem appropriate. You might think I don’t care about your reputation, but you’re wrong.”

That somehow soothed her. “Yeah, imagine what the Dean of the Hale School of Journalism would say if he heard that his newest adjunct professor was using university property to take pictures of town citizens wearing nothing but fruit and frankfurters.”

Her mother fell back against the Victorian couch, laughing. “Fruit and frankfurters! That’s a good one. But you’re not laughing, which means you have a pretty bad head. Heavens knows I’ve nursed your father enough. How about the O’Brien Hangover Remedy?”

Lucy gulped. “Does it still involve raw eggs and tomato juice?”

Her mother nodded.

“I’ll pass.” She made a show of putting her hand to her head, trying not to feel guilty for perpetuating the lie. “I just need to rest.”

“Good thing you don’t have class today,” her mother said, rising. “How about I make you some tea before I go?”

“That would be nice,” she said, recognizing it for the peace offering it was. She rose too, forcing steel into her spine. Right now, she felt like the weakest person on the planet.

“Get into bed,” her mom said, patting her on the fanny. “I’ll bring your tea.”

Lucy headed back to her sanctuary, climbed back under the sheets, and assumed a fetal position, staring at the wall. Since her vision was unfamiliar and unwanted, she closed her eyes.

Part of her wanted to keep her eyes closed forever, but sooner or later she would have to face reality. Even ostriches had to take their heads out of the sand. Just not right now.

When her mom hustled into her room a few minutes later, she kept her eyes closed, pretending to be asleep. The rattle of china echoed in her ears. Then a warm hand touched her forehead, a throwback to her childhood when her mom used to tuck her in.

“Love you,” her mother whispered.

Lucy let the tears roll out from under her eyelids as soon as she was alone.

Chapter 16      

Andy knew he was in trouble when Natalie and Moira showed up at the park to join him and Matt for a run that afternoon. They were waiting in the lot when he pulled up in his car.

He got out and put his hands on his hips. “Is this an intervention?” After spontaneously kissing Lucy on the mouth earlier, he probably needed it.

What in the hell had he been thinking? Truth was, nothing. He’d looked into her gorgeous green eyes and acted on instinct. She was beautiful and vulnerable and pretty much one of the most precious people in the entire world to him. Jung had called such impulses the subconscious mind. But it was really no excuse.

He’d messed things up, that much was clear. Lucy hadn’t even come to the door after he and Matt dropped off her car.

Even so, he wouldn’t lie to himself or her any longer. To say he’d missed her cheek and hit her mouth would insult them both. He could no longer hide his attraction to her, a feeling that had only increased in intensity since the night of her party.

But he’d kissed her on one of the worst mornings of her life—without her permission. He was an ass. Certainly not the best friend he claimed to be.

“Let’s run,” Matt said, staring down their two sisters.

Andy was glad for the reprieve, however temporary. His siblings would probably pounce after the run. They knew he’d be more amenable if given the chance to expend his pent-up energy. They were all like that.

He didn’t keep pace with any of them, going for a fast, hot burn. The path flashed before him as he ran full out.
 

Matt finally matched his speed at the one-mile marker. “You’re running like the hounds of hell are after you,” his brother said.

“Yeah,” he ground out, glad his brother didn’t press him for more conversation.

At mile two, Andy had lost track of how far ahead he was. Honestly, he didn’t care. All he could think about was how the most important friendship in his life hung in the balance because of a spontaneous kiss on the mouth.

It hadn’t even been a
good
kiss, but a hard, fast kiss fueled by pent-up longing. He increased his speed again.

At mile four, he finally looked over his shoulder. Matt was still behind him, but he was pretty far back now. The girls were nowhere in sight. Even though he didn’t want to talk to his brother, he slowed his pace until Matt caught up to him again.

“Don’t spill your guts yet,” his brother said, shaking his head. “If you do, you’ll only have to repeat it when we get back to the park.”

His mouth twisted. Crap. He hated talking about himself, and Lucy sure as hell wouldn’t want him talking about her. “There’s nothing to say.”

“Bull,” Matt said in a hard tone. “Brace yourself for Sibling Sharing Time.”

Leave it to Matty Ice to call it that. Andy increased his pace again, leaving his brother behind in the dust. When he returned to their starting point, his sisters were talking by the edge of the park, a good ways from the path. Obviously, they had turned around at some point. They turned when he slowed, twin frowns twisting their features.

The realization that they’d all taken time from work save Moira to talk to him—before he picked Danny up—made his gut quiver. Matt stopped beside him, breathing hard.

“You kicked my ass today,” he panted. “I think you were running an eight-minute mile.”

“Too bad I wasn’t competing in the New York marathon,” he said wryly.

“You should consider it when you’re pissed,” Matt said, bending over at the waist. “I haven’t seen you run like that since…”

His brother trailed off, unable to say it. They never could call it out.

Andy’s heart wrenched. “Since Kim got sick and died.”
 

Back then, he’d run until his body couldn’t continue in the hopes it would drive away the fear and the pain. Or make him tired enough to sleep. But it never had. All it had done was release all the pent-up emotion inside him, and, trying to be scientific about it, he’d let himself cry out the grief, knowing it was as much of a natural body function as urinating.

His brother put a hand on his shoulder. “Come on. It’s time to tell us what the hell is going on.”

When they joined Natalie and Moira, he blew out a breath. “You must be pretty worried to have joined us for a run.”

“We are,” Natalie said, not mincing words. “Why couldn’t Lucy drive herself home last night, Andy? We know something’s going on.”

“I can’t tell you that,” he said. “Lucy made me promise, okay?”

Moira put her hand on his arm. “Is she sick? I know she said she wasn’t, but…”

He shook his head. “No, she’s not. Thank God. But what’s going on is tough, and that’s all I can say.”

Matt started stretching his calves. “I don’t like this. You’re bottled up tighter than I’ve seen you in forever.”

His brother still couldn’t say Kim’s name. “You can say it.
Since Kim.
And you’re right. I haven’t been this upset since Kim got sick and passed away.”

He hated the way Natalie’s lip quivered, and Moira’s eyes went blank. They’d all dealt with their pain in their own way.

“I know you’re worried,” he told them. “And I appreciate your concern. But it doesn’t change anything. Lucy needs a friend, and that’s me.” Something he might have blown to smithereens with that kiss, but he wasn’t about to tell them
that
.

“Fine,” Natalie said, all matter-of-fact, a clear sign she was frustrated. “We won’t ask you to break a promise to her. All we want you to know is that we’re here for you. We can help out with Danny if you need to be with her more.”

“Where were you and Lucy this morning?” Moira asked, putting her hands on her hips. “It’s not like you to take off work.”

He stared her down. “You’re one to talk.”

She frowned. “You can be such an ass sometimes.”

“Then stop poking at me,” he said.

“You all but told me to leave her alone that night at Hairy’s,” Moira said, “which I respected because you’re her best friend and know more about what’s going on with her.”

“She doesn’t need everyone asking things of her,” he said. “She has a lot on her plate.”

“That isn’t an answer,” Matt said, sounding like the lawyer he was. “All we know is Lucy suddenly returns, looking sickly. She wasn’t able to drive her car last night for some reason, which prompted you to take a day off work today.”