The Byron Journals (4 page)

The music faded as they walked up the street towards the beach.

‘And what do they do when they're drunk? Do they fight?'

‘They have enormous fights.' He laughed. ‘Mum recently chased Dad around the kitchen with a steak knife. I was practising piano in the living room so I—' ‘You play?'

He nodded. ‘Yeah, I've played most of my life. Anyway, they were shouting at each other but I was so used to the noise, I didn't even realise what was happening until Dad told me about it a few days later.'

‘Your mum sounds hardcore.'

‘She's passionate—about work, winning arguments and alcohol.'

‘And that's it? What about you?'

‘I'd say I'm peripheral in her life.'

‘Hmm…That's sad.'

‘It's not as dramatic as it sounds. I'm just sick of it—it's exhausting trying to take care of her. The alcohol just makes everything so much worse—and I can see it destroying her.'

His phone beeped and he glanced at the screen. It was another message from his dad. He deleted it.

Heidi smirked. ‘Girlfriend?'

‘Nah.' He looked away, sure she'd think he was too evasive, or too serious, but she took his hand.

They arrived at Main Beach and he was disappointed to see people drinking and hanging out; he was hoping to be alone with Heidi.

‘This way,' she said and led him along a footpath in front of the surf club and through a car park. When they stepped onto the sand, Heidi kicked off her ballet flats and picked them up. Except for the slow pulse of light from the headland, it was a dark, still night. After walking for a few minutes, Heidi let go of his hand, looked around and dropped her shoes.

‘Do you want to go skinny-dipping?'

Andrew thought of his bruises. ‘Umm…' ‘Don't get too excited.'

‘I want to, it's just…'

‘What? You haven't skinny-dipped with a girl before?'

‘Not recently.'

She laughed. ‘As in never?'

‘Maybe.'

She paused. ‘You're easy to read. I like that about you.'

He didn't know what to say.

‘Come on then,' she said. ‘No one's looking. Just me.'

When he still hesitated, she took off her top, turned away from him and unclipped her bra. Covering her breasts with her arm, she loosened her skirt and let it fall to the sand.

‘Coming?' She slid out of her black briefs and walked to the water's edge, smiling at him over her shoulder when the water slipped around her ankles.

Andrew took in her narrow shoulders, plump thighs and the sway of her hips. He fumbled out of his clothes and tore down his boxer shorts, almost tripping in his rush to catch up. Seeing him behind her, Heidi shrieked and rushed to dive in. He ran through the shallows and crashed in not far behind her, and the water was as warm as the night air, and delicious against his skin. Heidi disappeared, then resurfaced close to him, spouting water and laughing. She splashed him and he turned away, eyes closed, to splash back.

She disappeared underwater again and slid her hand around his stomach. She was close enough now that he could hear her breathing and the water lapping between them. She pressed her body against him—her breasts, her stomach and the soft skin of her thighs. He turned and they kissed, tasting each other for the first time. There was pleasure in not rushing, in the touch of their lips and the surprise of their tongues. She broke away from him and swam a few strokes, but he caught hold of her foot and drew her back, more sure of himself now. She laughed and resisted, then turned to face him and pushed him in the chest. He winced.

‘What's wrong?' she said.

He looked down at the bruises on his chest and ribs.

‘Poor baby,' she said. ‘What happened?'

When he didn't reply, she shook her head. ‘It's okay. You don't have to say.'

She kissed him slowly and he felt the desire swelling within him. Her kisses on his neck became hot and breathless. He ran his hands over her small, slippery breasts, cupped and squeezed them. They stood in chest-deep water now. His feet shivered into the sand and their bodies swayed with the movement of the ocean. His fingers were clumsy, but she put her hand over his and showed him how. Her hands slid all over him, but she was gentle now, wary of his injuries. They were kissing and laughing, gasping and shuddering. Their breathing quickened as they teased and kneaded each other's bodies. She wrapped her legs around him and he felt a hot rush as she suddenly, unexpectedly pushed him inside her. Ecstatic, bewildered, his insides blazed. ‘Heidi.' He held her tight. ‘What about—' ‘It's okay,' she whispered close to his ear. ‘I'm on the pill.'

She continued to move her hips, slowly at first, and he began to move with her. In the distance, the town's architecture seemed to shift, and inside him too, everything shifted with it. She began to move faster but he slowed her down, wanting to enjoy this moment for as long as he could bear it, the rhythm of their bodies against the rhythm of the ocean against the rhythm of the night.

four

Tim looked up from his bowl of cereal and smiled when Andrew walked out of Heidi's bedroom the following morning. ‘You Adelaide people just can't resist each other, can you?'

Heidi turned to Tim, tense and off-balance. ‘He's from Melbourne.' Then she turned to Andrew. ‘Aren't you?'

He shrugged and shook his head. The house's wooden framework creaked and groaned in the morning heat.

‘Whoops,' Tim muttered, smiling. ‘Sounds like you got to know each other pretty well,' he cleared his throat, ‘before getting to know each other.'

Heidi grabbed Andrew's shirt and dragged him back to her bedroom, slammed the door and put on The Ramones loud enough that Tim couldn't hear. ‘Why did you lie?'

‘I'm sorry, it was a dumb thing to lie about. At the party Tim made it seem like you didn't want anything to do with Adelaide. And when I mentioned Adelaide to you yesterday, you didn't want to talk about it.'

‘I didn't. I don't.'

‘I still felt like a dumb-arse about the Anaïs Nin thing. And I wanted you to like me.'

‘Fuck you!'

‘What difference does it make?'

‘Well, we're probably related, for a start.'

‘Second cousins would be okay though, wouldn't it?' She didn't smile.

‘C'mon Heidi, the chances of us—' ‘I bet we're connected…' She stared at the floor, shaking her head. ‘Fuck! I came up here to get away from all that.'

‘So did I.'

‘All right—let's get it over with then.'

He hesitated. ‘What?'

‘Let's find the connection; it's the Adelaide way.'

They sat on her bed and compared suburbs, schools, friends, friends of friends. They scrolled through the names. Mentioned institutions, venues and events. They got close, but hit dead ends. She grew up in Marion and attended Brighton High, he grew up in Norwood and attended Marryatville High. Neither of them had brothers or sisters. Heidi hung out at the beach, Marion shopping centre and Hindley Street. Andrew mostly stuck to the eastern suburbs, friend's places and Norwood shopping centre but didn't go to the city much. They may have walked past each other at the Big Day Out two years earlier. But that was as close as they got. As the conversation progressed, the physical change in her was startling. Her body began to relax and the colour returned to her face. Andrew asked what her parents did for a living, but she fell silent.

‘I take it they're not lawyers,' he said.

Her brow creased. ‘Don't joke about that.'

‘Sorry.'

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. ‘Just promise me one thing.'

‘What?'

‘Promise you won't lie to me like that again.'

‘I won't, I promise.'

They kissed again, and Andrew's thoughts turned to music.

‘Hey, does that keyboard in the living room work?'

Tim was sitting on the back verandah practising a drum pattern when Heidi plugged the keyboard into an old Roland jazz guitar amp. A low, warm note of static buzzed through the speaker. Andrew grabbed Heidi's stool, sat down and played a couple of notes. They oozed through the amplifier, bright, rich and thick— more like an electric guitar than a keyboard.

He eased into Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. The tone was bizarre, and the action of the keys felt stiff, but even so, the notes fell like rain onto thirsty, cracked ground. Heidi said something, but he barely heard her as he sank into the beautiful inevitability and weary longing of those opening chords. She moved behind him, rested her chin on his shoulder and he almost lost his place in the succession of notes. Did she think it was a geeky thing to play?

‘Why didn't you tell us you played?' Tim said, stopping him short, before dropping onto the couch and starting up a rhythm. ‘Okay! Go again!'

Andrew recommenced the sonata.

‘Speed it up!' Tim said.

Andrew raised the tempo, but Tim kept playing faster. He tried to keep up, but Tim increased the pace. Finally, Andrew hit an off chord and stopped.

‘What's wrong?' Tim said.

They tried again.

‘C'mon!' Tim shouted. ‘Faster!'

When Andrew laughed and stopped again, Tim threw his hands into the air.

‘What?'

Heidi was laughing now, too.

‘It's Beethoven,' he said. ‘You can't play it that fast—' ‘That…is Beethoven?'

‘You've never heard that melody before?' Andrew asked.

‘I thought you were playing…I don't know…Led Zeppelin in slow motion or something.'

Heidi cracked up and Tim turned to Andrew.

‘Can't you play anything else? Something fast or funky or bluesy! Make something up!'

‘I can't just make something up.' He tried to remember some pop or blues songs, but nothing came to him. His eyes rested on the old stereo in the corner.

Heidi moved towards the stereo. ‘I'll find something.' She put on a Coldplay song. He stumbled a bit at the start, found the chords and broke them into arpeggios. Tim walked over and paused the stereo, shaking his head. ‘That song sucks. Let's try something else.'

He put on The Doors, ‘Light my Fire'. It was trickier, but Andrew found the chords and figured out the melody from there. Tim played ‘Organ Donor
'
by DJ Shadow and this time Andrew couldn't work it out.

‘Ha!' Tim said.

‘C'mon.' Heidi said. ‘He's just played two out of three songs by ear.'

‘So? He probably already knew how to play them.'

‘Bit jealous?'

‘As if.'

Tim's bedroom door opened and Jade emerged, still half-asleep and rubbing her eyes. ‘Morning. Afternoon. Whatever.'

‘How's your hangover?' Tim said to her.

She let her arms drop and she slumped. ‘Don't be like that, babe.'

Heidi turned back to Tim. ‘Let's try Andy out.'

Tim stared at the floorboards, then looked up at Andrew. ‘Have you got any original stuff?'

‘I could try to write some.'

‘What about performing live?'

Jade laughed and clapped her hands. ‘Let him busk with you tonight, Tim. I'll photograph it…I love virgin sacrifices.'

Tim grinned at Andrew. ‘Can you handle it?'

Andrew was about to say that he needed more time to rehearse, but Heidi cut him off. ‘Of course he can.'

‘All right,' Tim said. ‘We'll see what you've got.'

five

Heidi and Andrew stopped Tim's Valiant outside Benny and Richie's rental apartment. Andrew knew the guys probably felt bad about what had happened, but he'd decided that no matter how bad they felt or how much they begged him, he wasn't going back. He'd stay in a hostel if he had to. He told Heidi to wait in the car, but she got out and followed him.

He stopped on the narrow path. His backpack was upended on a pandanus palm and the rest of his clothes were strewn across the garden. He picked up a favourite T-shirt—it was ripped up the middle and stained with red wine. Cursing, he searched around for his iPod, but couldn't find it. I'll kill them, he thought.

Heidi stormed up to the front door and hammered it with her fist. Andrew clasped her arm but she jerked free and turned to him.

‘You can't let them tread on you like that!'

‘C'mon.' He looked around to make sure no one had seen them. ‘I don't intend to.'

They returned to the apartment half an hour later, after a visit to the supermarket. They parked around the corner, waited until the street was quiet, then jumped the brush fence, removed the fly-screen from a window and climbed inside. Wearing washing-up gloves so as not to leave fingerprints, they threw eggs, fish sauce and chopped liver all over the walls and the carpet. Andrew ran into the master bedroom and tipped fish sauce through Richie's suitcase, hesitated on his way into Benny's room, then thought nah, fuck him—he was in on it too, and tipped it all through his stuff. He heard a series of crashes and ran back to the living room to find Heidi smashing everything within her reach. Plates, bowls, wine glasses. He called out to her, but if she heard him, she gave no indication. She threw a marble sculpture of a dolphin, which shattered the television screen and fell to the tiles with a crack. He grabbed hold of her and she thrashed against him. When he spun her around, she was wild-eyed and panting, almost unrecognisable.

‘C'mon,' he said. ‘Let's go.'

They climbed out the window and checked the street was clear before jumping the side fence and walking back to the car. He waited for someone to call out, or come running after them, but nothing happened. Heidi unlocked the car and they drove off slowly.

Descending the hill, she had a laughing fit and nearly crashed into an oncoming car trying to kiss him—which only made her laugh harder. ‘That was unreal!' she said. ‘You don't think we went too far?'