The Bunk Up (The Village People Book 1) (10 page)

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Authors: D H Sidebottom,Andie M. Long

BOOK: The Bunk Up (The Village People Book 1)
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“Because people see me as the village idiot.”

“I’m sure they don’t.” I touch his arm.

“They do. All because of that bastard that comes here when he feels like it.”

I step back. “Frazer?”

He nods.

“What did Frazer do?”

“We have a dance a few times a year. I’d got the courage up to ask Sam to go with me. Do you know Sam, from the cafe?”

“Yes.”

“He’d offered to DJ for the night.” Jimmy looks at his shoes. “I hadn’t spoken much. I felt awkward, like wondered if Sam was just feeling sorry for me. He kept flirting with her from the stage, saying the next song was for her, that sort of thing.”

“Well, that’s disgraceful behaviour but how does that make you the village idiot?”

Jimmy’s mouth becomes a taut line. He inhales then speaks. “Because then near the end of the evening he said he’d play some slow tunes. He invited me onto the floor with Sam. There we were, on our own, but with everyone looking, and I thought, I’m going to do it. I’m going to stand up straight and hold her in my arms and not be afraid anymore. Then he played The Addams Family song.”

“What?”

“He made a mock look of mistake, apologised. Said he’d mixed up the tracks, but everyone had been drinking and they forgot their manners. They all fell about laughing, looking at me hunched over in the middle of the room. I ran out. I’ve tried to keep out of the way ever since.”

“That disgusting fucking excuse for a male,” I spit. “Jimmy?”

“Yeah?”

“There’s going to be another dance soon, isn’t there? At the village hall.”

“I don’t know. I stay away from all that.”

“Well not this time, you’re not. You’re going to be my date for that dance, do you understand?”

He places an arm on my shoulder. “Thanks, Daisy. You seem a lovely lady, but no. I’m alright as I am.”

“Are you turning me down? Am I ugly?” I ask him.

“Oh my God. No. Not at all. You’re lovely. I’m so sorry.”

I laugh. “I’m messing with you. Please, Jimmy. I’ve lost my own confidence. That’s why I’ve escaped to Beydon. You’d be doing me a favour keeping me company.”

He looks troubled for a moment then blows out a breath and nods. “Okay then.” Moving towards the door, he stops and turns. “But if he appears, I’ll be out of there.”

“No. You leave him to me. If he appears, we’ll deal with him. You need to get your confidence back, Jimmy, and I’d love to go to a village dance before I go back to Chesterfield.”

“You’re leaving soon?”

“Well, I said I’d stay for a couple of weeks originally. Past that I’d have to speak to Mrs H again about paying her rent and I’d need to find a job here. All things I don’t want to consider this week. I want some time to just be, you know? No responsibilities.”

“I know exactly what you mean. Well, thanks for the cup of tea, Daisy.”

“No problem. Thank you for bringing my equipment round. I can crack on now.”

A shadow passes the kitchen window.

“Oh. Christ. It’s him, isn’t it?”

“Head held high.” I challenge Jimmy. “Leave this to me, okay?”

I open the door and grab Jimmy’s hoody, pulling him towards me. I kiss his cheek. “Thanks for stopping by.” I wink at him. “I’ll see you at the dance.”

Jimmy nods and rushes off to the van.

Frazer pushes past me. “I know you said you were going to try and get some experience with men, but that’s two in one day. They’ll be calling you the village bike.”

“Didn’t see you complain when it was your turn to ride.”

“Yeah, well I’m a little insulted that after me you think Lurch will prove to be a valuable experience.”

“Have you shagged him?” I ask.

“No, I fucking have not. I don’t swing that way.”

“Well, how do you know he’s a crap shag then? He might be amazing.” My voice rises. “He might be a lot better than you.”

“Not a chance. But try him to compare if you must.”

“I will.”

He walks into the room. “God, what’s happening here? I want to lie on the sofa and watch TV. Is it too much to ask?”

“I’m decorating to make the place nicer for Mrs H.”

“She won’t give a toss. She makes that clear by staying away from here as much as possible. She only comes to give the place a quick once over.”

“Have you ever thought that maybe the memories are too painful for her?”

“What would you know about any of this? Know my mother well, do you? Has she told you all about us? Oh, let me remember, when you turned up you had no idea who I was so that would be a no, wouldn’t it? Mind your own goddamn business, Daisy, and as this house will eventually be mine, I’m telling you to not decorate it.”

He slings the sofa cover onto the floor and sits down.

“It’s not yours now, it’s Mrs H’s, and you might not be alive to inherit,” I seethe.

I pick up the dust cover and throw it over Frazer and the sofa.

He shakes it off, and a tic beats in his cheek. “That’s dusty. I’ve got clean clothes on.”

“Fuck you, Frazer. I’m going to start painting now.” I take the lid off the tub of white emulsion. “I need to get on as I’m off out later.” I pick up a brush.

“Bike ride?” shouts Frazer.

Unfortunately, I trip, accidently of course, but the brush that was in my hand, loaded with white emulsion, somehow, quite miraculously, hits the back of Frazer’s head.

 

 

 

Chapter Twelve

 

Daisy

 

Liam has chosen a rather nice little bistro away from the village. It’s cosy inside; a roaring fire sits central in the small room and warms the chill of the whitewashed brick walls. The seating is positioned to benefit from both the heat and the attractiveness. All in all, I’m relaxed. Although, the way Frazer had reacted to Liam when he’d arrived to pick me up was making me feel a little uneasy.

Liam had turned up with a super huge bouquet of flowers for me, and was very attentive, giving me a sweet kiss to the cheek. Frazer had taken one look at him and scowled, proceeding to drag me into the kitchen to tell me he didn’t like the guy. Apart from only meeting him once in the pub when they’d both auditioned for the same part, he didn’t even know him. But he’d gone into a spiel about how dangerous he looked. How, because his left eye was a millimetre smaller than his right, he must be a serial killer that hunted on naïve women who were just out for a quick screw in the back of his car – a very nice BMW by the way – (I’ll let you know how comfy the back is later).

So, now I’m sitting in front of Liam, with Frazer’s bloody horror story playing over and over in my head. I must look a right fart - forced manic smile, straight-backed, and my stare piercing as I try to measure the width of each of his eyes.

“Red okay?”

I blink, pulling my mind back to reality when Liam starts to pour some red wine into my glass.
Shit. Shit.
How do I tell him that red wine gives me terrible wind? I mean, he’s filled it to the top, and the aroma is already starting to make my mouth water. Maybe it’s a little more expensive than I’m used to and won’t affect me like it usually does.

“Lovely.” I nod like the chuffing Churchill dog.

Liam sighs and gives me a megawatt smile. “Daisy, relax. You’re making me nervous.”

Rolling my eyes, I laugh nervously. “I’m sorry. It’s been such a long time since I’ve done this.”

“Gone out on a date? Or evaluated the width of someone’s eyes?”

I’m mortified! My cheeks flame and Liam laughs.

“Calm down. I have good hearing.”

Now I’m horrified. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. Ignore Frazer. He’s a dick.”

“Hmm.”

I quirk an eyebrow, and take a sip of the wine. Oooh it’s yummy. Another mouthful. “Hmm? What does that mean?”

Shaking his head, he remains tight-lipped and turns to the waiter when he approaches our table. “Are you ready to order, sir?”

“Yeah. Two garlic mushrooms.”

“Oh,” I jump in, shaking my head. “I can’t eat mushrooms. Bring me out in a rash.”

Both the waiter and Liam stare at me like I’ve already broken out in a rash. Rather rudely, Liam sighs. “Would you like to order for us, Daisy?”

I’m not sure if he’s being sarcastic or not, but thinking it’s probably my imagination, I smile and nod. “Thank you. We’ll take two prawn cocktails.”

“Nope.” Liam huffs. “Can’t eat seafood. Makes my eyes swell up.”

“Oh.”

“One cocktail, one mushroom?” the waiter suggests.

Liam and I both nod.

“And mains?”

It just seems so hard, so I mutter, “A salad.”

“You can’t have a salad,” Liam barks at me.

“Why?”

“Salad is for waifs.”

I look down at myself and frown. “Is that a nice way of saying I’m fat?”

His eyes widen and he shakes his head. “What? No!”

The waiter huffs loudly and shifts from one foot to the other. I’d feel sympathetic for him but he definitely has one eye bigger than the other and looks down right shifty.

“Fine!” I huff in return. “I’ll have chicken. Anything with chicken in.”

The waiter nods. “Is that with salad, ma’am?”

Jesus H Christ.

“Why not!”

Liam rolls his eyes and proceeds to order half of the menu as I guzzle down some more wine. I’m not quite sure this is going as well as I’d hoped, but after Frazer putting my back up, I decide I’m just being sensitive and try to relax a little more.

“So, Daisy…” Liam smiles at me, obviously trying, the same as me. “Do you ride?”

My jaw drops and I’m tempted to throw my damn wine at him. Well, I would if I wasn’t enjoying it so much. “Excuse me?”

“Bike riding. Most people come out to the country for it.”

Oh.

“Oh no.” I shake my head. “My backside isn’t really equipped for all that. Although, I did once try the bike at the gym. That shit hurt. Couldn’t feel my arse for three weeks solid. Everyone at work thought I had worms; couldn’t keep still. But then again, the post office chairs aren’t exactly….”

He’s staring at me, his eyes wide and his glass half tipped to his mouth.

I chuckle nervously. More wine.

“Right.”

There’s more than a couple of minutes’ silence and I tap my finger on my glass as I start to guzzle more. Shit.

Miraculously,
thankfully
, the waiter suddenly appears with our starters.

We eat. In silence.

I just want to go home.

I pause when my tit starts to wobble and AC/DC’s
Shake your Foundations
starts serenading everyone in the restaurant. Liam gawps at my chest, a mushroom hanging halfway out of his mouth. “Uhh, the whole of AC/DC appears to be camping out in your cleavage.”

Rolling my eyes, I reach into my bra and slide my phone out.

Can this night get any worse? Can it? It seems it most definitely can.

“Hey, Mum.”

“Daisy!” My mother’s high pitched shriek makes the wine glass on the table vibrate and I pull the phone from my ear slightly. “Where are you?”

“Uhh, The Cock Inn.”

There’s a silence, and then… “Are you having sex while I’m on the phone?”

“What? No. I’m in a pub!”

“You’re having sex in a pub? Jesus H Christ. Finally! I’m so proud of you, darling. So very proud. Is he good? Describe him for me. Is he big? Have you managed an orgasm?”

Liam seems to have gone into shock. His pale face is shaking from side to side as his eyes shift around the room.

“Well, anything must be better than that lump of lard that glued himself to your arse. Where is the delightful Marcus anyway? Let me guess… under the patio? Did you finally do it, love? Like we talked about?”

She’s so loud I look around nervously, expecting the MI5 to suddenly storm the place. “Mother!” I hiss.

Liam suddenly snatches his phone out of his jacket pocket and looks at me. “I have to go. Emergency.”

He’s up so fast that the table wobbles and I have to snatch up my drink before it spills.

I’m sure I never heard his phone, but smiling, I nod. “Okay, thank you. Don’t worry, I’ll…get a taxi,” I finish quietly when I realise I’m talking to myself, and the gravel in the carpark sprays the window when Liam speeds off. It must be a really bad emergency.

“So where are you?” Mum asks again.

She was in Amsterdam.
Was
being the frightening word. My gut sinks when I realise there is no longer static on the line, and there’s no delay to her voice. “Uhh, well, where are you?”

“I’m at the airport, darling. I need you to come get me.”

“What?”

The whole room shifts nervously. Right along with me.

“I’m home!” she squeals.

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