The Bull Rider's Collection (17 page)

“Tell Cash hi.”

Then like the teenage boy he couldn’t seem to stop being, James hung up before she could tell him it wasn’t Cash in her living room with her, but his mother.

The following morning James sat in his attorney’s office knowing he’d behaved badly with Lizzie the night before, but ready to follow through regardless. Now that he knew about JR, James would never let any other man but him parent his son.

“So what’s going on? My assistant’s notes are a little vague and your voice mail was surprising.” George leaned back in his chair and watched James select a muffin from the tray his assistant had left.

“I need you to draw up custody papers. And do a background check.” James popped half of the muffin into his mouth.

“Sorry.” George patted his mouth with a napkin. “So you think this woman is scamming you? If that’s the case, why did you have me send a check?”

“Not Lizzie.” James pulled out the scrap of paper on which he’d listed everything he remembered about Angie. “I want a background check on my mother. Make sure she’s not just after Jesse’s money or something. Find out if she’s … .” He hesitated because now that he was about to say it, it sounded like he was as paranoid as he felt. “I need to find out if she’s reliable,” he finished lamely.

George put down his coffee. “Let me get this straight. You have a kid, and your long lost mother shows up out of the blue? Must have been some weekend.”

“You don’t know the half of it.” James pushed the scrap of paper toward the other man. “Lizzie told me she’s been on welfare. I might have some problems with the state. Can you check that out for me as well?” James took a second muffin.

George glanced at the paperwork in front of him. “Elizabeth Hudson. Lizzie.” George grinned. “You have a son. Should I say congratulations? I might have a cigar around here somewhere.”

“JR’s five. I think the time for cigars has passed.” James imagined what it would have been like to witness JR’s birth. To watch him grow from a baby to the kid he’d met at the sheep pen. Lizzie might have kept him away then, but by God she wasn’t going to now. Even if she and Cash were planning a perfect little family of their own. Lizzie and
Cash
? No way did that track. She must be desperate. His resolved tightened. “How hard would it be to get full custody?”

“The courts often side with the mother in these cases, especially after all this time. If it can be worked out, joint custody is preferable. I’ve started the paternity process. The testing center is expecting you. It’s a walk-in process, you can go anytime. Making visitation arrangements is usually easier when the parents set up the custody plans themselves.” George paused. “Why full custody? Aren’t you on good terms with the mother?”

James shook his head, thinking about last night’s call. He’d screwed up any chance of this being an easy process by going off high-handed and half-cocked. “Would I be here if I was?”

George pulled out a notepad. “Okay then, here’s the plan.”

For the next hour, George explained the ins and outs of the child support system and what needed to be done to legally declare James as JR’s father. By the time they were done, James felt more concerned about getting visitation rights than ever.

“Just make it right.” James finished the last of his coffee and glanced at his watch. “I’ve got to run. Jesse’s riding in South Dakota this weekend and we need to get cracking.”

“All this would be moot if you married the woman. Two-parent families are all the rage.”

James shook his head. “I think she’s already closed applications for the job.”

“Well, if you don’t think you two can make it, then protecting your legal rights is critical. I want to warn you, it can get messy.” George sounded like an ambulance chaser from late night television. “Marry the girl if she’ll take you. It will make this process simpler and you won’t owe me so much money.”

“I’m the last man she’d want to marry.” James went out the door, hoping George didn’t hear the catch in his throat.

• • •

Two more stops and she’d be done marketing for the day. Lizzie had dropped letters and flyers off at the post office for the local travel agencies. A packet went to the local motel and condo rental for overflow guests. Now all she had to do was stop at The Pancake House and the grocery store.

So dump Cash or buy groceries first? Lizzie groaned and pulled into the restaurant’s parking lot. It was barely a third full — a sure sign the midday customer traffic was slow. Good time to get Cash alone. Bad news, she’d be alone with Cash. But this had to be done. He was a good man and she couldn’t keep stringing him along when she wasn’t in love with him.

Making love to James had made one fact clear: her heart belonged to James. Even with all his insecurities, impulsive overreactions, and the fact he’d turn tail and run. Again. He was JR’s father and she loved him. Until she didn’t, she had to quit pretending there might ever be someone else. Especially Cash.

She checked her makeup in the rearview mirror, ran her fingers through her hair and straightened the jacket she’d thrown over her blouse and jeans. Trying to look professional. Like the business owner she soon would be, if she’d understood her father correctly when she called to talk to JR today after she and Angie finished decorating the first two cabins.

Ready to beard dragons, but not Cash, she sat in the driver’s seat of her ancient import, eying the restaurant.

Maybe I should go get groceries.

Chicken, her other side called out. And pushed Lizzie out of the car. She took a packet she’d carefully made up for each of the small town business owners and grabbed her purse. Now or never.

She found Cash sitting in one of the booths, going over paperwork. She stood by the edge of the booth.

“Lizzie.” Cash stood and kissed her on the cheek. “You’re a welcome sight. What brings you into town? You’re not trying to skip out on our date Friday are you?”

Lizzie slipped into the booth across from Cash and laid the packet on the table. “As a matter of fact … .” She smiled wryly, letting the statement hang.

“Ah, hell.” Cash leaned back into the booth and dropped his pen on the table. “Let me guess, you and James are running off together to live happily ever after.”

Lizzie winced. “Not quite. This isn’t about James. It’s about me.”

“Sure. It’s coincidence you’re breaking up with me right after he comes back town.” Cash shook his head.

Lizzie thought about denying the fact she was breaking up with him. But that would have been unfair to him and her. She jumped in with both feet.

“Cash, I like you more than I can possibly tell you. You’ve been good to me and to JR. But having James in town last weekend taught me that no matter how much longer you and I date I’m not going to fall in love with you.” Lizzie regretted the pain on Cash’s face, but she couldn’t go back now.

“And you are with him.”

“No. Yes. Maybe. I don’t know.” Her lips twisted. “All of those. We have a son together and I know I need to close the door on whatever else there is between us before I move on.” She played with her folder. This wasn’t what she’d planned to tell him. Her well-practiced speech had escaped her mind and she was blowing it. She didn’t want to lose his friendship.

“He doesn’t love you. If he did, he’d be here. Hell, he would have been here all along.” Cash’s words stung. “Think about JR. Don’t you want his father to be stable? To be here with him? With you?”

She couldn’t meet his eyes. How many times had she had the same conversation with herself? Trying to convince herself that emotions like love would come in time. That Cash could be her future and if she left James in the past.

Your past that was back in your bed as soon as he hit town.

Thinking he saw a chink in her armor, Cash grabbed her hands. “I love you, you know. I love JR.”

“I’m sorry.” Lizzie picked up her purse and folder and stood. “I’ll see you around.”

“I won’t let you come back. If you walk out now, it’s over.” Cash’s voice was firm but quiet.

“I know.”

Throat tight, Lizzie walked out of the restaurant. She’d never wanted to start this with Cash, should never have said yes to that first date. But in her heart, she knew her tears weren’t for the relationship she was closing. She cried for the man she left. A man she couldn’t love. He deserved more.

Starting the car, she wiped the tears off her cheeks. One more stop. One more packet to give out and groceries to buy. Then she could head home and soak in a long hot bath before Dad dropped off JR. Tonight she would hug her son and head to bed early. Right after she finished the long list of chores required of a single mom. The life she’d chosen over any possible life with Cash.

The Sullivan ranch property sat thirty minutes out of town, but at least the roads were dry. James loved driving up the curvy road that hugged the mountain. Boise was as big city as Idaho got, yet ten minutes out and the mountain life took over. James watched as an SUV filled with kids turned off the main road heading to Lucky Peak, a local swimming spot. The park’s beach would be filled to the brim this weekend. Today, a few lounge chairs dotted the sand. Maybe he’d bring JR down to stay with him for a while and they could spend a day swimming.

If Lizzie will even let you talk to him after you cut out on him the last time.

James focused on the road ahead and sighed. He’d totally screwed the pooch on this one. Lying there in bed, watching her sleep, he’d realized how much he loved her. When that feeling sank in, he panicked. What was he doing? What if she betrayed him and left him the way Angie did? He didn’t have room in his life for any woman. And he’d never be able to be a good dad. What did he know about raising a kid?

He’d been right to leave. Focus on what he did well, that was the ticket. He could provide financially for Lizzie and JR. Make sure they had food in the house and JR had clothes. That was his role. Someone else would step in to take JR swimming and teach him to throw a ball. And James knew who Lizzie would choose to help. Cash.

“Even if I wanted to be part of JR’s life, she’s already moved on.” James spoke the words out loud, making his thoughts real.

So she jumps in bed with you for old time’s sake?

James shook off his logical side. He couldn’t take the chance of her leaving — or turning him down. Things were better this way. He was good at his job. He could tell George to back off the custody thing. He didn’t need a family. He had Jesse.

And Angie.

As he pulled into the dirt driveway leading up to his ranch home, he saw a car in the driveway. As if thoughts of her had brought her into being, Angie stepped out of the car and waved at him.

You could turn around and leave.

No, he wasn’t going to turn tail and run. This conversation was long overdue. Years overdue. Time to confront his mother over her abandonment of him and Jesse. If she’d come to the ranch for closure then by God, he was going to give it to her.

He parked the truck. Watching her approach, he eased himself out of the cab and slammed the door. “Why are you here?”

Angie straightened her back. She’d been reaching for a hug, but seemed to catch herself. “We need to talk.”

“We needed to talk years ago. Now what’s left to say?” James leaned against the truck and waited.

“I can’t change the past, James. I can only change our future.” Angie gestured toward the house. “Can we at least sit down on the porch if you don’t want to ask me in?”

James flipped his key ring around his finger. “We can go in. I do have manners.”

Angie followed him onto the porch and waited while he unlocked the door. “Is Jesse here?”

“He stayed in town last night. Celebrating his new sponsor. I’m picking him up in an hour.” James unlocked the door and threw the keys on the antique desk in the foyer. The oversized cabin was filled with comfortable couches and big screen televisions. The perfect bachelor’s pad at three thousand square feet. He nodded toward the kitchen. “How about some coffee?”

Angie nodded and followed. “This is nice. It’s homey.”

James didn’t know what that meant or even what she was looking for. “You can’t move in, Angie.”

Her eyes widened. “James, I would never ask to move in. You think I’m here for money?”

James busied himself with making coffee. “I don’t know why you’re here, but money seems a likely choice.”

“Honey, I have more money than I know what to do with. My late husband left me more than comfortable. So, no, I’m not here for a hand out.” Angie pulled a bar stool close to the granite covered island and scooted up, her five-foot-two frame having to climb to sit down.

James finished putting the coffee to brew and opened the refrigerator. His cleaning lady had stocked the kitchen on her last visit and he quickly found a bag of bagels and cream cheese. He was hungry. He usually cooked a big breakfast on his days at home: eggs, sausage, biscuits and gravy. Today he’d needed the drive before he could eat. “You hungry?”

“I ate at The Pancake House before I left Shawnee.” Angie let the words settle.

“Cash must be happy.” Angrily James sliced the bagel that somehow looked like Cash.

“Because I ate there? I’d say that’s a stretch. Of course, he acted like everything was fine. Like Lizzie hadn’t broken his heart.” Angie stood up, went around the island, and started opening the cupboards. “Where do you keep the coffee cups?”

The knife slipped through the bagel and thudded into the chopping block. “What do you mean?”

“Coffee cups? You know, what you drink coffee out of?” Angie opened another cabinet. “Never mind, here they are.” She pulled out two cups and poured herself coffee from the half made pot.

“No, I mean about Lizzie dumping Cash. That can’t be right. He was there Tuesday night.” James stared at Angie.

“Cash wasn’t with Lizzie then. We had a girl’s night movie marathon. I stayed over. That’s when she told me she was breaking up with Cash. Said it wasn’t fair to lead him on.” Angie had settled back on the stool and was watching James. “I hear you had a sleepover with her the night before.”