The Broken Road (The Broken Series) (10 page)

I
was halfway down the first flight of stairs when the door to the stairwell
slammed shut behind me.

“Kri,
wait up.”

I
froze at the sound of his voice. “We have nothing to talk about, Justin. Leave
me alone.” I didn’t bother turning around. I resumed walking down the stairs.

“I’m
leaving Janet.”

Once
again, I froze. My eyes narrowed as I turned to face him. “What did you say?”

Justin
scrambled down the stairs. He stopped two steps above me. His massive 6’4”
frame towered over me. “You were right. I was hitting on you at the gym. I’ve tried
to fight it, and I’ve tried working on my marriage, but I’m done living a lie.
I want to be with you.”

I
backed down the stairs to the landing. “You lied. You made me feel like an
idiot, and you lied,” I hissed angrily. I wanted to hit him so badly I could
taste it.

His
voice turned pleading. “I wasn’t ready to tell you… not like that… not when you
were so angry with me. I wanted it to be different. I wanted it to be special,
but I lost control. I can’t be around you and not
be
with you, Kri. I
want you… and I want you to want me as much as I want you.”

I
opened my mouth to speak, but Justin slammed me into the wall as his lips crashed
against mine. I dropped my purse… my briefcase… everything. I wedged my hands
between us and tried to push him away, but he tightened his hold.

The
idea that I could fight him off was laughable. Every hard angle of his body
pressed into mine. He fisted his hands in my hair as he pulled my head back to
deepen the kiss.

I
twisted my head toward the wall as I tried to escape the kiss. Tears streamed down
my face as he pulled away. I hadn’t even realized I was crying.

Justin’s
voice broke as he released me. “I’ll quit my job… I’ll move to DC… Please, Kri.
I’ll do whatever it takes to be with you.”

I
shook my head. “Don’t touch me. Don’t you
ever
touch me again.” I choked
back a sob as I grabbed my bags and ran down the stairs.

The
security guard rose from his chair as I burst into the main lobby.

 I
ducked my head to hide my tears as I hurried past his desk. I shoved the door open
and inhaled a single ragged breath as the cool night air hit me.

I
glanced over my shoulder, then ran toward my jeep. I threw my bags on the passenger
seat, climbed inside, and quickly locked the doors. I began sobbing as I forced
the gear shift into drive. The tires squealed as I slammed my foot against the
gas pedal. I sped out of the parking lot at a reckless rate of speed. There
were so many bad experiences pressing in on me, I could no longer breathe.

*
* * * * *

I
was determined to avoid Justin, so I e-mailed my notes for the staff meeting to
Charlie and called in sick the next morning. I packed a suitcase and loaded
Cade into the jeep so we could jump start our trip to Hamilton to spend the weekend
with my parents. I wanted to see them before I left for DC. I couldn’t believe
I was leaving in two weeks.

My
mom cooked all of my favorite foods… stuffed bell peppers, roast beef with
mashed potatoes and gravy, pancakes, and eggs sunny side up. My dad caught me
up on all of the local gossip. Then he invited me to tag along to the Coffee
Cup Café, where he spends most mornings drinking coffee and telling tall tales
with his boys. I’d heard them spin their fishing and hunting stories a million
times, but I loved hearing it all again.

I
committed every detail of my parents to memory… every inch of their kind faces,
their voices, the smell of my mother’s cooking, and the spicy scent of my
father’s aftershave. Tears were shed as we said our goodbyes. By the time I returned
to Helena, I was towing a very heavy heart.

My
last weekend in Montana was reserved for my cousin, Lexie. She drove up from
Great Falls to spend the night with me. We enjoyed one last decadent dinner at
On Broadway. I soaked in the beautiful murals that complemented their worn
brick walls, the intimate atmosphere the place was famous for, and the culinary
skills of a chef who had taught me everything I knew about making the perfect
cheesecake.

A
live band played soft jazz from their corner on the first floor. Lexie and I
had a great view of the band from our table, which was tucked against the
balcony on the second floor. Between the grilled mozzarella, basil, and red
pepper skewers; the Chicken Broadway; and the chocolate mousse cake, the two of
us were barely able to walk away from the table.

It
wasn’t until we were leaving the restaurant that I spotted Michael standing at
the bar with a glass of red wine. He was wearing black slacks and a stark white
dress shirt with onyx cuff links. A gray paisley tie was hanging loose around
his neck. He was reclining against the bar with his back to the bartender,
brazenly watching me through hooded eyes.

I
couldn’t take my eyes off him as he pushed off the bar and slowly began walking
toward me. Lexie walked between us and linked her arm through mine. She hadn’t
noticed Michael. Why would she? She had never even met him before. But, for some
reason, that simple act stopped Michael in his tracks. I could still feel him
standing there, watching me, as Lexie and I walked out the door.

I
shoved all thoughts of Michael aside when we returned to my apartment. Lexie
and I swapped our dress clothes for camisoles and pajama bottoms. We sprawled
out on my couch and spent the rest of the evening working our way through a
lifetime of memories. Eventually, our discussion turned to a trip we had taken
to Mazatlán shortly after my divorce.

“I
can’t believe I let you talk me into parasailing… in Mexico of all places!
Those guys driving the boat were on drugs! And, I’ll never forget how you
dragged me out to the center of the ocean on that wave runner. You were
crashing over the waves like some crazed woman with a death wish. My ass hurt
for a week! What was I thinking climbing on the back of a wave runner with a
woman who was knockin’ on death’s door?” I shook my head in disbelief. It was
no small miracle that we had made it home alive.

Lexie
laughed. Her long dark hair briefly hid her sparkling blue eyes. “Yeah, well,
it’s not like we had anything to lose. I’ll never forget seeing my
straight-laced cousin dance in that cage,” she goaded wickedly.

I
cringed. We had been issuing dares and double dares the entire trip. “Well, at least
I didn’t dance on the bar in front of all those sailors.”

Lexie
laughed even harder. “I thought you were going to punch that guy, the one who
was trying to take me for a tour of his ship.”

I
snorted. “Tour of the ship… seriously? What woman would buy that line? Besides,
that guy had a gold tooth!”

We
stayed up reminiscing through the early morning hours. We were completely exhausted
by the time we said our goodbyes. Tears streamed down my face as I watched
Lexie back out of her parking space. She eased her car forward to drive away, then
suddenly stopped. Lexie’s shoulders shook as she slumped over the steering
wheel. I sank to the pavement, no longer able to stand.

Through
a curtain of tears I watched Lexie claw her way out of the car and stumble
toward me. We clung to each other, sobbing in the center of the asphalt,
neither willing to let the other go. We stayed that way for the longest time.
How do you leave someone who has been such an important part of your life for
twenty-eight years, someone you love more than life itself? I was still
struggling with that question when Lexie finally mustered the strength to climb
back into her car and drive away.

The
movers came a few hours later to box my things. I clung to Cade and watched numbly
as they loaded the truck. They took my car the very next day.

I
spent my last evening in Helena with Siobhan, the four year old who had
completely stolen and then healed my heart after my divorce. I was good friends
with Siobhan’s mom, so Siobhan and I spent weekends together whenever her
parents had to work. Siobhan had all the trappings of an angel with her wispy
blond hair, her bright blue eyes, and her porcelain skin. I thought she hung
the moon. She was determined, courageous, and precocious in every way.

Siobhan
and I ate pizza with her parents. We played and cuddled for hours. I tucked her
into bed with the hopes that I could slip away while she slept, but she refused
to go to sleep. She clung to me when I tried to say goodbye. Every time I tried
to hand her back to her mother, she tightened her arms around me and begged me
not to go.

Siobhan’s
tears mixed with mine as she pressed her little face against my cheek. The sobs
that wracked her little body were heart rending. I knew I’d never forgive
myself for causing her so much pain. When Siobhan’s mother finally managed to
pull her from my arms, Siobhan clawed to get back to me. Tears streamed down
her face as she screamed, “
Don’t leave me, Kri! Please, don’t leave me!
”

I
left every last piece of my shattered heart on their living room floor when I
stumbled blindly out their front door. I felt the pain of a hundred year old
oak tree being ripped from its roots as I fought the urge to gather Siobhan
back up into my arms and abandon the fellowship. I crawled into Kimme’s car and
wrapped my arms tightly around my stomach as I folded in on myself. I sat in
their driveway sobbing for well over an hour. It wasn’t until every last tear
had been shed that I was finally able to drive away. Of all the goodbyes, this
had been the most painful one.

*
* * * * *

Dan
and Kimme drove me to the airport in silence. Kimme had given me a travel mug
filled with coffee, but the lump in my throat made it impossible to swallow. I
hadn’t bothered with makeup. My eyes were still swollen from crying all night. I
figured makeup was pointless, given what lie ahead.

It
was ridiculously early and still dark outside, so I was surprised to discover
Charlie, Ann, Jerry, and Doug at the airport waiting to see me off. I thought
we had already said our goodbyes, but seeing them at the airport reminded me of
how truly blessed I was. Once again, I questioned how I could leave the people
I had grown to love so much.

They
took turns saying goodbye to Cade while I checked my luggage at the ticket
counter. Then we made our way through the security line as one. Jerry and Doug took
turns hugging me as they offered gentle words of encouragement.

Ann’s
eyes filled with tears. She held me for a very long time. She swiped at her
tear stained cheeks, then gently grasped my shoulders as she sought my eyes.
“I’ve always believed you were destined to do great things. Don’t look back,
Kri... and don’t you dare doubt yourself. You live every dream you’ve ever
dreamed.”

I
buried my face in her shoulder as I began to cry.

Dan
steeled himself as he approached me. “I’m so proud of you. And, don’t you worry
your pretty little head, Krissy. I’ve already initiated contact with the head
of the Vietnam Vet’s chapter in Arlington. You call this man, Dean Hunter, if
you have any trouble, darlin’. He’ll take care of you. You call
me
if he
doesn’t.” Dan slid a crumpled piece of paper into my hand. “It has been an
honor, little lady.”

I
hugged him tightly. I didn’t want to let him go. Dan bowed his head and stepped
aside so Kimme could say goodbye.

Kimme
had tears streaming down her face. “I don’t want you to go…
don’t go,
”
she whispered.

I
folded her into my arms. I thought I’d cried every last tear my body could
hold, but tears spilled down my cheeks once more.

Charlie
gently cut in. “They’re calling your flight, Kri.” He handed me his business
card. “Don’t forget this toll free number works outside the state, too.” He
paused briefly. “You can do this. I know you can.” Charlie smiled, but his red
rimmed eyes betrayed him. He hugged me. Then he handed me my laptop bag and
Cade’s carrier. Thankfully, Cade was small enough to ride on the plane under my
seat.

As
I backed toward security, I thought about how much I wanted to take each and
every one of my friends with me.

Charlie
called after me as I walked through the metal detector. His voice was firm and
strong. “Take a deep breath, kiddo, and remember one thing. You are not alone.
You are never alone.”

I
stilled on the other side of security. At that moment, I felt utterly alone.

Sleep
claimed me shortly after the plane leveled off. I cradled my head in the crook
of my arm, which I had draped across the top of the tray table. My right hand was
stuck inside Cade’s carrier, which I had stashed at my feet. I ran my fingers
through his soft fur off and on throughout the flight. Every once in a while,
he’d let out a small yelp. This delighted the children who were sitting within
earshot to no end. Cade and I were the most popular passengers on the plane, at
least among the two to eight year old crowd.

Habib
greeted me with a warm smile and an awkward hug when he picked me up at the
airport. He loaded my luggage into the back of his cab while I walked Cade.

As
Habib drove Cade and me to our new home, it dawned on me that he was my only friend
in Virginia. I wondered when I had started thinking of him more as a friend and
less as a cab driver. I suspected it had something to do with the lunch fiasco
at the Afghan restaurant.