The Bridal Swap (15 page)

“Tough to reason with a drunkard.”

“I can’t stand by and do nothing.” Spotting his hat on the ground, he picked it up and slapped it against his leg to dislodge the dirt. “This man has lost all sense of reality. Kate’s not safe with him walking around loose.”

“So what’s your plan?”

“I don’t know yet. But I’ll figure something out. You can count on it.”

Alone in her cabin, Kate paced from one window to the next, flicking the curtains aside to peer into the darkness. Where was he? Edgy with nervousness, she was ready to jump out of her skin. Not knowing where or how he was doing was driving her mad!

Sam and Mary had volunteered to wait up and keep her company, but she’d declined their offer. Riding away from the Foster farm, she’d been sorely tempted to cast aside ingrained notions of polite behavior and demand they take her back. Somehow she’d managed to maintain an air of tranquility.

Her imagination conjured up torturous images of Josh, hurt and bleeding.

Pressing her fingers against her throbbing temples, her eyes squeezed shut, she attempted to block out the horrifying image of Tyler’s fist slamming into Josh. Over and over again. Josh’s grunts as he defended himself against the blows.

A light step on the porch had her running for the door. Yanking it open, she fell into his arms and sobbed. “I was so worried.”

His fingers trailed lightly across her back, but he didn’t return her embrace. “Please don’t cry.” His voice was soft.

She tightened her hold, and he sucked in a painful breath. Immediately she released him, gasping at the sight of his face.

Blood trickled from an inch-wide gash on his right cheekbone. His lower lip was busted. There were bits of grass and hay in his hair and a rip in the shoulder of his shirt. His left hand cradled his ribs.

“Oh, Josh,” she whimpered, knowing this was all because of
her.
Tyler wanted her. And Josh was standing in his way.

“It’s not as bad as it looks.”

Taking his free hand, she led him inside and closed the door. “Have a seat at the table.”

Removing his hat, he laid it aside and fluffed his hair. He pulled out a chair and eased into it, his gaze following her every move.

When she’d gathered a bowl of water and hand towels, she told him, “I have no nursing experience, but I found a stray dog once. I doctored his injured leg for him.”

His mouth curled in response, reopening the cut in his lip. “Ouch.” He went to touch it, but she captured his wrist before he could.

“Let me clean it.” She folded the white towel into a square, submerged it in the water and squeezed out the excess.

“Wait.”

Standing over him, she held the towel aloft and looked into his impossibly blue eyes. His hair was rumpled, his jawline darkened by a day’s growth of stubble. The top buttons of his shirt were undone, revealing a light patch of hair beneath his collarbone.

“Before you proceed, I need to know how the dog fared.”

She hid a smile. “I’m happy to say he did quite well.”

“All right, then,” he drawled. “Go ahead and do what you gotta do.”

She studied the gash on his cheek. “I’ll be as gentle as I can, okay?”

She cleaned it the best she could and applied a thin layer of ointment. Josh sat with his eyes closed the entire time.

“I think you need stitches.”

“Not a big fan of needles.”

“Me, either, but it might scar without them.”

“Can you bandage it?”

“Sure.” She did as he asked, then turned her attention to his other injury.

Bending closer, her hair swinging forward, she carefully pressed a clean cloth against his lower lip. Opening his eyes, he stared at her from beneath heavy lids, revealing a curious mix of pain and longing.

They remained that way, he sat motionless and she bent over him, her free hand braced against the back of his chair. Then he eased her hand away from his mouth. The cloth fell to the table.

Reaching up, he twined her hair around his finger. “You have beautiful hair,” he rasped, “like chocolate. And so incredibly soft…”

Kate swallowed hard, afraid to breathe. He was going to kiss her. His words scrolled through her mind…
I’m drawn to you, Kate.

He brought her mouth down to his. Fireworks exploded behind her eyes. Clinging to his shoulders, she tentatively returned the pressure of his lips, careful of his injury.

In a move that startled her, Josh shoved to his feet without releasing her. Holding her close, his hands spanning her back, he kissed her tenderly. She held tight to him, lost in a swirl of emotions.

You’re playing with fire, Kate.
Allowing him to kiss her, to hold her, only fanned the flames of her feelings. This man was a dream come true. He was everything she’d ever wanted in a husband. Yet he was out of reach.

Josh eased the pressure of his lips. With a shuddering sigh, he folded her in his arms and buried his face in her hair. “My sweet Kate,” he whispered.

Pulling away, she touched a trembling hand to her mouth.

“Everything all right?”

Gathering her courage, she blurted out, “Don’t do that again.”

“What? Kiss you?” Stiffening, his eyebrows slammed together. “I didn’t exactly plan it. But I got the feeling you enjoyed it as much as I did.”

“It’s not wise.” She stared down at the smooth floorboards. “You and I aren’t courting. We’re friends. That’s all. There’s no future for us.”

He was quiet so long, she at last looked up. His expression was one of acceptance tinged with regret. “You’re right. I apologize. It won’t happen again.”

Grabbing his hat, he dropped it on his head. “It’s late. I should go.”

Heart heavy, she stayed rooted to the spot as he strode across the room and slipped out the door. Why did doing the right thing have to hurt so much?

Chapter Fourteen

T
he next morning, Josh woke to someone nudging his shoulder.

“Wake up, Josh.” Nathan stood over him. “Time to get up and get your Sunday clothes on.”

“It’s Saturday,” he grumbled, pressing his face farther into the pillow. Saturday was the only day of the week he allowed himself an extra half hour of sleep and his brother was ruining it.

“Kate’s taking portraits today.”

He came instantly awake at the sound of her name. Scooting up in the bed, he leveled a look at his brother. “Who decided this?”

Nathan shrugged. “I’m not in on the decision making around here. I just do what I’m told.”

Josh quirked an eyebrow. They both knew that wasn’t entirely true. His younger brother was easygoing, yes, but he was definitely his own man.

“What about Caleb? Did he agree to be in it?”

His youngest brother’s accident had changed him from a fun-loving jokester to a quiet, embittered loner. Nothing they did or said seemed to make a difference.

Slathering the shaving soap on his face, Nathan turned down his lips. “He agreed only because Ma pleaded with him.”

Caleb’s behavior troubled both his parents, but Ma was taking it especially hard. It was tough not to get frustrated with his stubbornness, but all they could do at this point was pray for God to change his heart.

Swinging his legs around, Josh planted both feet on the floor. His ribs ached something terrible. Pain radiated through his chest with every breath. “Can you wrap me up?” He grimaced.

His brother regarded him through the mirror. “Yep. Give me a minute.”

Josh reached up and touched the bandage on his cheek. “How am I supposed to be in a portrait with a busted-up face?” Had they forgotten what happened last night?

Nathan shrugged. “Don’t ask me.”

Wondering why they couldn’t have simply waited, he glanced out the window at the gray, overcast day. He hoped it didn’t rain and ruin Kate’s plans.

Was she still upset with him? He’d acted foolishly, allowing his attraction to her to overrule his common sense, and she’d stopped him from going any further.

Thankfully it was merely infatuation driving him and not true feelings. Kate was a sweet, intelligent, lovely woman. Any man would be tempted to care for her. And he did like her…as a friend.

How could he not? She was sunshine in winter, a rainbow in the midst of thunderclouds. When he was with her, worries faded and all he could think about was making her smile.

But he couldn’t allow himself to fall in love with her. It would only mean heartbreak for them both.

By the time Nathan had wrapped his ribs, Josh was dizzy with pain. Sweat beaded his brow. Bracing himself against the dresser, he waited for the searing pain to pass.

“You don’t look so good,” his brother stated flatly. “I’m going downstairs to tell Ma you’re not up to this.”

“Wait.” He didn’t want to ruin Kate’s day.

“No,” Nathan said, already heading for the door. “At this rate, you’ll pass out before you get one leg in your pants.”

Shuffling to the bed, Josh eased down onto the feather-stuffed mattress. Between his facial injuries and his cracked ribs, he felt as if he’d gone head-to-head with an angry bull. Matthews had been furious, all right. But at least Josh had held his own.

The fight had given townsfolk even more to gossip about. Frustrated and physically weak, he drifted back to sleep. It was nearing noon when Ma entered his room with a tray bearing a bowl of vegetable soup and two dinner rolls shiny with melted butter. His stomach rumbled. He couldn’t remember when he’d last eaten.

Placing it on his bedside table, she straightened and looked at him with concern. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.” And he did, as long as he didn’t move.

“Do you need help with this?” She touched his shoulder.

“No, thanks, Ma. I can manage.”

She gazed down at him a long moment, assessing him. “All right. If you need anything just holler.” She turned to leave.

“Ma?”

She turned back. “Hmm?”

“Was Kate terribly disappointed?”

The wrinkles fading from her brow, she gave him a gentle smile. “Not at all. She was very concerned about you.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. I shouldn’t have insisted on doing them today anyway. I didn’t get a good look at your face last night. Are you hurting? I can get you something for the pain.”

“It’s not so bad.”

“Eat something,” she urged on her way out the door. “You’ll feel better.”

“Yes, Ma.”

He managed to eat it all before lying back down and sleeping the day away. It was dusk when he finally awoke. Muscles stiff, he moved cautiously as he first sat, then stood to his feet. Not thrilled at having wasted an entire day in bed, he went downstairs in search of a cup of coffee and a bite to eat.

His parents were in the living room. “Feeling better, son?” Pa looked up from his newspaper.

“A little.”

Ma looked up from her mending. “Are you sure you should be up walking around?”

He wasn’t sure at all. But he wasn’t one to lie around.

“I’ll be fine.”

“I set aside a plate for you. Want some coffee?”

“I’ll get it.”

Once he’d eaten his fill, he went to retrieve his fiddle from the hutch in the corner, careful not to jar his ribs. His soul was in need of soothing, and music never failed to do that.

“Are you playing outside tonight?”

“Yeah. Are you gonna sit out there for a spell?”

“I don’t think so.”

His mother worked from sunup to sundown. She needed to take more breaks, in his opinion. “Are you sure? The weather will be turning cold before long.” He looked to his father. “What about you, Pa?”

He pushed his spectacles up his nose. “You go on ahead. I think I’ll sit right here and keep your ma company.”

“Want me to prop the door open then?”

“That would be nice, dear.” His ma smiled over at him.

Nudging the footstool against the door, he stepped out into the dark night, lit up from one end of the sky to the other by thousands of twinkling stars. It was a pleasant night, the air sweet with the curious mix of apples and mums. His gaze went immediately to the cabin at the edge of the woods. Lamplight shined through the windows, which meant Kate was still awake. He wondered what she was doing, if she was perhaps reading or penning letters or some other pastime well-to-do young ladies indulged in.

With a sigh, he rested his weight against the railing and, tucking his instrument beneath his chin, brought the bow up and slid it along the taut strings. His eyes drifted shut. The music flowed from somewhere deep inside, and he played without conscious thought.

He played songs his father and grandfather had taught him as a child. Bit by bit, his muscles relaxed, the tension seeping from his body.

He played for nearly an hour. When he lowered his instrument and stared up at the stars, he heard soft clapping from the direction of the cabin. Squinting through the darkness, he could just make out Kate’s silhouette. His heart tripped.

“You make beautiful music, Josh O’Malley,” she called in her cultured, warm voice.

“I’m glad you enjoyed the impromptu concert,” he answered, walking to the edge of the porch.

“I did. Very much.”

He held up a finger. “Wait there. I’ll be right back.”

Returning his instrument to the hutch, he went back outside and crossed the yard with long strides, stopping at the base of the steps.

Standing in the shadows of the overhang, she studied him. “I’m glad to see you up and around.”

With one hand on the railing, he settled a boot on the bottom step. “I’ll have to take things a little slower than usual, that’s all.”

“I’m sorry, Josh,” she said solemnly. “If it weren’t for me, none of this would’ve happened. You wouldn’t have been hurt.”

“Don’t say that. Your resembling Lily Matthews is an unfortunate coincidence. We’ll have to find a way to deal with this.”

Stepping forward into the moonlight, he could see the fear written plainly across her features. “What if he has a gun next time?”

“I’ll be armed from here on out.”

She worried her bottom lip with even, white teeth.

“Hey—” he climbed the steps and took hold of her hand “—remember we have a Heavenly Father who’s promised never to leave us or turn His back on us. ‘Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? If I go up to the Heavens, You are there. If I make my bed in the depths, You are there.’”

“‘If I rise on the wings of the dawn,’” she continued softly, “‘if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast.’”

Kate found comfort in the reminder of God’s care and protection. There was nowhere she could go where He wasn’t. She had to believe He would protect Josh.

She studied his dear face. His split lip didn’t look too bad, but the angry gash on his cheek was edged with bruises. Seeing him battered and bruised hurt her heart.

She hadn’t wanted to acknowledge the truth, but Tyler’s attack had forced the issue.

What she felt for this man was not a mere passing fancy. These were not shallow feelings. No, what had started as an infatuation had taken root and blossomed into a deep, abiding love.

A love she could never express or give free rein to.

Feeling ill, she tugged her hand free and pressed it against her roiling stomach. It was a struggle to maintain an air of calm. “I’m suddenly very tired. I think I’ll turn in early.”

Unaware of her inner turmoil, he descended the steps. “Sweet dreams, Kate.”

Clutching the post to keep from falling in a heap, she watched his tall form as he walked away, her heart aching with the knowledge he could never be hers.

Kate’s dreams that night and the nights following were not at all sweet. An angry Tyler chased her through the woods. Josh was there, too, just out of reach. He called to her, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t run fast enough.

She awoke Thursday morning with a heavy feeling in her chest. The sound of rain spattering across the roof promised a gray day to match her mood. Her plans to take photographs of the town would have to be postponed.

There was a chill in the air, the floor cold against her bare feet. She dressed quickly in an unadorned brown skirt and sunny-yellow shirtwaist in defiance of the gloomy weather. Pulling on a pair of brown leather ankle boots, she dashed through the rain to the main house.

She’d managed to avoid Josh all week and hoped to do the same today. How could she act normal around him? Pretend to be happy when her heart ached at the sight of him?

So far, no one had noticed anything amiss. Or if anyone had, no one had commented on it. Josh had kept himself busy in his workshop, so she hadn’t had to endure his presence during mealtimes.

Seeing only Mary in the house, she let out a sigh of relief. But her relief was short-lived. After a simple breakfast, Mary asked if she’d mind taking a biscuit and jug of milk out to Josh’s workshop. She did mind, but she couldn’t refuse her hostess’s simple request. Not without offending her or raising suspicions.

Praying for strength, she entered his workshop. Bent over a waist-high table with a chisel in his hand, he didn’t see her at first. A half-assembled chair stood nearby.

She seized the chance to steel her resolve.
Think of him as a friend. A confidant. A buddy
.

Looking anywhere but at him, she surveyed his shop. A cozy space, well-lit with kerosene lamps, he kept it neat and orderly. Tools of all shapes and sizes hung on pegs on the wall beside him. Farther back stood saws and machines she hadn’t seen before. The scents of pine and wood stain hung in the air.

“Good morning.” He noticed her presence and set aside his tools.

As he straightened, his quick smile slipped into a frown.

The careful way he moved was unmistakable. “Your ribs are still hurting, aren’t they?”

“They’re much improved, but still a bit sore.” He spied the things in her hands. “Ma sent breakfast, did she? All I had this morning was a cup of coffee.”

Wiping his hands on a towel, he came around the table and took the jar and bundled napkin from her. “Thanks.” Taking in the wet spots on her blouse, he said, “Doesn’t look like it’s gonna let up anytime soon, does it?”

“No.” She grimaced. “I’d planned to take photographs of the church today.”

He was standing too close.
Do not think about his tender kisses.

The door scraped open. “Josh, I need—” Caleb stopped and stared at the two of them, his mouth firming in disapproval. Sweeping off his hat, he dipped his head. “Miss Morgan. Pardon the interruption.” His gaze swung to Josh. “I need to borrow your hammer. Mine broke.”

“Here you go.” Josh slipped the tool off its peg and handed it to Caleb. “What are you working on?”

“Building more shelves in the barn.” He turned and left without another word.