The Breaker's Resolution: (YA Paranormal Romance) (Fixed Points Book 4) (5 page)

I read the letter’s contents over and over in my head. It didn’t seem real somehow. This was my birth mother’s handwriting. These were her words to me; the first I’d heard since the day my locket opened and I was flooded with all the imagery.

But it couldn’t be right. The things she was saying didn’t make any sense, and it didn’t sound very ‘Dr. Conyers’- like. But maybe that was the point. I knew now that Dr. Conyers was a façade. My birth mother had never been a therapist. She had been Laurel Luna, a Breaker with legendary bad luck with romance. Maybe nothing of what I knew about Dr. Conyers, about the way she spoke and acted, about the sort of person she was at all, was the truth.

Or maybe this letter was the lie. Perhaps it was a careful forgery, meant to trick me into trusting Jiqui…or whoever he was working for now.

I read it again, hoping to find a piece of truth in something.

My Dearest Daughter,

I know you’re confused right now. I know none of this makes any sense, and that your head is probably spinning just as much as it is aching. Know that mine is as well. Please know that every hurt you’ve felt, I’ve also felt. And every minute I‘ve been away from you has been an eternity for me.

If you’re reading this, it means the condition that you and your group acquired upon exiting the Hourglass has taken control again. And that the herbs we gave you to bind the condition have either worn off or been proven lacking.

If it is the former, then your Guide will help brew another batch. If it is the latter, then he’ll do everything in his power to help you safely reach me.

I understand that, in your current mindset, you’re likely wondering why I’m not with you now. Please believe me when I tell you that there is nowhere I would rather be. Unfortunately circumstance and obligation have put me on a different path. I am where I have to be, Cresta. And, with Fate’s help and a bit of luck, we’ll be together soon.

This is the road that leads you to me, my daughter. This is the path that will bring you home.

Now, onto the matter of your Guide.

Jiqui is not a good person. He wasn’t when you were born, and he isn’t now. But he is your family, your blood. And that means he is important. Though he has never been trustworthy, you’ll soon find that that won’t be a problem.

I’ve given you what you need to reach me safely, my daughter. And, if ever you’re lost or you doubt this fact, then come back to this letter. All the answers are within.

I can’t wait to see you. I can’t wait to finally be united with you again.

Come back to me Cresta,

Your mother.

P.S. If you need more proof, tell the bastard to punch you.

I squinted as I finished the letter one more time. As crazy as all of it was, as strange as all of Dr. Conyers’ promises and commands were, what irked me the most was the way she signed off.

‘Your mother’

She wasn’t my mother, not even close. My mother was the woman who raised me. She was the person who was there every day. She helped me through the darkest time in my life and led by the best damn example that any girl could ask for. And in the end, she took a knife in the gut because she loved me so much.

Dr. Conyers was a good person as far as I knew, and I was sure the same could be said for Laurel Luna. But my mother was the woman who chose me, who chose to stay with me every day until her last. No letter would change that, no matter who it was from.

“Well?” Jiqui asked, staring at me.

“Well what?” I answered, trying to keep my voice from cracking.

“Are you going to ask me to punch you or not?”

I narrowed my eyes. “You read this.”

“No,” Jiqui shook his head, wiping sweat off his brow because-well, we were still in the desert and it wasn’t getting any cooler out here. “But you’ve read it three times already, and every time you ask me to punch you.” Without looking over, he lifted his hand and blocked an unseen punch from Royce. “Just like this idiot tries that every time.” He rolled his eyes. “You people are so predictable.” He tossed Royce’s hand aside. “Now ask me.”

“Why don’t you-“

“Punch me,” I said, breaking into Royce’s statement.

“Cresta, Sweetheart, you don’t have to-“

“Don’t worry,” I raised my hand along with my temper. “He won’t get far.”

A worrisome smile spread across Jiqui’s face. “You’re probably right.”

He lunged toward me, faster than I imagined he would, and much too fast for me to protect myself. From the corner of my eye, I saw the others spring into action. But it didn’t matter. The instant Jiqui’s hand reared back in order to hit me, his entire body began to spasm. ‘

He went rigid and screamed as he fell to the ground, squirming like a fish that had been dropped on land.

“There!” He grunted through the pain. “Are you satisfied?”

Instinctively, I moved back. “What’s happening?”

“A-a barrier,” he said as his teeth ground together. “Before your mother sent me, she put a psionic barrier in my head. I can’t hurt you, can’t even touch you. No matter how hard I try.”

I glared at him for a moment, watching the pain coarse through him and knowing, without a shadow of a doubt, that it wasn’t nearly enough. He was responsible for the death of my mother- at least partly. He could die right here in the desert for all I cared. It would be no more than he deserved.

“Stop it,” he said through the agony.

“I’m not doing anything,” I said flatly.

“Just make it stop!” He yelled. “Say you’re safe and make it stop!”

“What?” I murmured.

“Just say it before my damn heart explodes!”

The sun beat down heavy on me as I watched him. Would his heart exploding really be that bad a thing?

“Cress?” Casper was beside me now. “I think he really might die.”

I didn’t answer.

“Cress?” He repeated, taking my hand in his.

“I’m not in danger,” I answered softly.

Almost immediately, he relaxed. Just like that, the pain subsided.

That’s freaky as hell
, I thought.

“That’s freaky as hell,” Casper said at the same time. “How does that work anyway?”

“The damn barrier,” Jiqui huffed, standing up shakily. “It’s tied to my mind. And, thanks to your mother, my mind is now conditioned to ensure your safety. I have to have verbal conformation from you before the pain stops.” He winced and shook his head. “Which is about as convenient as it sounds.”

“No more than you deserve,” Casper spit on the ground in front of Jiqui.

“Every time,” Jiqui sighed. “Every damn time.” He began rubbing his temples, his breaths heavy and labored. “There. You need any more proof this time around, or can we cut the theatrics?”

“Where are we?” I asked flatly.

“You’re not actually gonna trust this douche basket, are you Sweetheart?” Royce asked, sidling up next to me.

“Douche basket?” Casper shook his head.

“I have a letter from Laurel Luna, a psychic barrier that
she
put into place and, most importantly, no other feasible options. So no, while I’m not going to trust him, I
am
going to trust the letter. At least for now.” I advanced on him, letting a little of the shade that surrounded him constrict at his throat. The fact that I could do this now, and without even concentrating too much, scared me more than a little. But there was no time to stew on that right now. “Where are we?” I repeated.

“The Mojave Desert,” he grinned. “Welcome to California.”

****************

“California?!” Casper shrieked, pacing circles around me. The sun was moving through the sky and, for all intents and purposes, we had been in one place for way too long. But we needed to rest, I needed to get my mind in order and, even if the chance was slim at best, I wasn’t too keen on leaving what was obviously the last place we had been with Echo. “Do you have any idea how far California is from Maryland? It’s like a hundred billion miles!”

My eyes flickered over to Royce and Dahlia, who were over by the jeep, keeping an eye on Jiqui and no doubt holding back twin urges to punch him in the throat.

“I know,” I said, turning my attention back to Casper. “But we’ll get there.”

“You don’t know that!” He said, pointing at me and shaking his head. “You don’t know anything.
We
don’t know anything.” The speed of his pacing intensified. “I mean, how long have we even been gone? We think it hasn’t been too long, but we don’t know that. Not for sure. For all we know my baby could already be born. Or worse. Maybe they got to her. Maybe they-“

“They didn’t, Cass. They don’t even know that the Damnatus is something they need to worry about. That was Wendy, remember? She made sure you got the note so you could get it to me. The Council doesn’t even have a Seer anymore. They’re blind out here.” I threw my hands on his shoulders, stopping him in mid pace. “We’re gonna find her. We’re gonna save them. And then I’m gonna be the best aunt who ever lived.”

“How?” He asked with tears welling up in his eyes.

“You know, with candy and R rated movies. Maybe I’ll sneak a kid a beer when they get older.”

“No. How are we gonna do it?” He asked. “We’re all alone out here.”

“Not completely,” I said, looking over at Jiqui, who slumped against the jeep lazily, as though none of this was affecting him. He was saying something to Dahlia, who looked much more invested.

“Really?” Casper stared. “We’re just gonna do what he tells us?”

“No,” I said as a flash of renewed anger lit itself inside my stomach. “
He’s
going to do what
we
tell him.”

Marching toward the others, I heard Jiqui, with hands splayed in front of him, say, “I don’t know what else you want from me. The cowboy and I were gone for a day and a half. He was fine when we left. You all were. If he was stupid enough to get himself killed, then maybe you need to rethink your choice of perfect.”

He was talking about Echo and, since it was clear he didn’t have anything useful to add, I decided I wasn’t going to tolerate that from him.

Before Dahlia could react, I raised my hand and –using the shade in the area- pushed Jiqui away from the jeep before throwing him back against it.

“That’s enough from you,” I said sternly.

“Good of you to join us,” he said, wincing as he regained his footing. “Are you ready to go or are you and your bestie intent on chatting so long that you ensure the Council finds us.”

“Oh we’re going,” I said, settling in front of him. “We’re going to Maryland.”

“Maryland?” His brows knitted together. “That’s not the plan. Your mother-“

“She’s not my mother, and I don’t care what she has to say about this in particular. This is
my
plan. And we’re going. But first,” I started, moving toward him ominously. “You’re going to help us get our memories back.”

“Explain it to me again,” Royce said, keeping one eye on Jiqui, who was pulling items out of the jeep’s back end.

“Oh by all means, let’s waste even more time,” my newfound uncle spat, grabbing a clear cellophane bag that looked to contain that spice people always tell the cops they have when they’re really smuggling weed.

“Is that oregano?” Casper asked, looking over.

“Focus!” Dahlia snapped. For the first time since I had met her she seemed genuinely disheveled. The reason was clear. For all the times they disagreed, Echo was her rock. He held her steady, gave her a foundation to stand on. I could see it in her now, the way she was stumbling around on the inside now that he was gone.

It seemed strange to me to think that their marriage had been arranged, or that she wasn’t even the Council’s first choice for him. It was so obvious as I watched her fingers flitter nervously around her wedding ring that there could be no one more perfect for Dahlia then her perfect.

And now he was gone.

“As much as it pains me to admit this, Mr. Blut has a point.” She shook her head. “We haven’t the time to doddle. The Council has undoubtedly set Breakers in every corner of the earth on alert. They are looking for us, and if we stand still much longer, they’ll find us.”

“So we’re all just supposed to drink whatever concoction this s.o.b.’s cooking up for us?” Royce asked, motioning to where Jiqui was now setting herbs up around a stainless steel pot that had also been in the jeep. “No questions asked?”

“It was in Laurel Luna’s letter,” I answered sternly. “She said there are herbs that will help us, and that Jiqui is the only person who knows how to prepare them.”

“See that’s the thing,” Royce started, pointing to me. “I know Laurel Luna. I know her better than just anybody else in the world, definitely better than any of y’all. No disrespect,” he nodded at me. “I grew up with that woman, and never once-in all those years- did she so much as mention that douche basket.”

“Again with the douche basket?” Casper muttered.

“Now I know you think we got no other choice but to play this out, but that might not be true.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a phone, the same clunky outdated one I saw him use when we were in the Hourglass, when he was talking to his mother. “But I’ve got a little bit of insurance. When your momma- when Laurel,” he corrected himself, “sent me out here, she gave me a lifeline. Now I can’t call her, but she
can
get in touch with me. I say we head the hell toward Maryland, do what we need to do.” He narrowed his eyes, knowing that Jiqui didn’t (and didn’t need to) know anything about the Damnatus. “And wait for this here phone to ring.” He shook his head. “No herbal assistance necessary.”

“Do you know where Laurel Luna is?” I asked, sliding my hands into my pockets. “And I don’t mean theoretically. I know you grew up with her and that you’ve been to whatever happy dance place my mother told me was waiting for me before she got killed. What I want to know is if you can take me there.”

“Sweetheart, I-“

“No! Laurel isn’t here. I’m sure she’s got her reasons, and I’m sure she thinks they’re worth abandoning the person she calls her daughter. But none of that is helping me right now. You tell me she’s a good person, and I want to believe you. But the truth is, the only thing I know for sure about my birth mother is that she lied to me. She sat across from me every week for two years and never once did she tell me even a little of the truth about what was going on. So I want to know if the person she sent to bring me back to her actually knows where on earth she’s hiding or is it shrouded like the Hourglass.”

The look on his face, pensive and slow to react, told me everything I needed to know.

“That’s what I thought,” I answered.

“It ain’t like that,” Royce started. “The Hourglass is hidden so they can work without interference, so they can spin their schemes and play dirty without anyone being able to stop them.”

“And why are you hidden? Why is my mother hiding?”

“To stay safe!” He yelled, the tone is his voice telling me that I should have known that. “You ain’t the only one those bastards would kill on site if they had the chance. Your mother. Your father-“

“They’re both already dead!” I yelled. “Those people you’re talking about, they didn’t raise me. And they sure as hell aren’t here now. I don’t care about reasons. I don’t care about any of it. My parents are dead and they’re never coming back. Those people you’re talking about, the ones who gave birth to me, they’re never going to replace them. And this place where Laurel Luna wants me to meet her, it’s not ever going to be home. Home is gone now too. This isn’t about fairytales for me, Royce. This isn’t about fate, or happy endings, or making everything worth it in the end. This is about practicality. It’s about me staying safe, about keeping the people I love safe. And I can’t do that if I’m running around like an amnesiac chicken with her head cut off. I need to have my bearings back. I need to know where I’ve been if we’re gonna have a chance of getting where we’re going. And if you don’t understand that, then I’m not sure Laurel Luna sent the right person.”

Royce stared at me a long time, huffing and glaring at me. For a minute, I thought he was going to lose it for long enough for me to see what his actual eyes looked like for once, all yellow and raven-like. Instead, he bit his lip and said, “Uncle Renner knew. He could have taken us there. But he’s dead. He died protecting you.” He looked away from me, shaking his head. “Hell, if you wanna risk your life, and everything we worked for with it, going down some lunatic’s rabbit hole, I don’t suppose you’re going to let me stop you.”

He barged off, marching a few hundred feet off into the desert and stopping before I had the chance to respond, not that I’d have even known what I would say. This was something I needed to do, and Royce was right. Nothing he could say was going to change that.

“Anybody else?” I asked, turning to Casper and Dahlia.

They both stared at me for a long moment before nodding their respective consent.

“How long is this going to take you? We haven’t got all day,” I asked, moving toward Jiqui. He had his knees in the dirt, spooning heaping portions of various weird looking herbs into a metal bowl.

“Look who got conservative all of the sudden,” he jeered at me.

“How long?” I repeated sternly.

“It’s not eye of newt, Bloodmoon. I don’t have to wait for the harvest moon, if that’s what you’re getting at,” he stirred the contents together in one quick motion. “There. Done.”

I felt Dahlia and Casper settle at either side of me. Suddenly, I felt very guilty about what I had just said to Royce. He should be beside me too, not sulking in some desert corner. But what was that he told me back in the Hourglass, when my body was on fire and he kissed me for the first time to put it out?

We do what we do, Sweetheart.

And I had to do this, whether he agreed with me or not.

“The Neanderthal needs to stay back,” Jiqui stood.

“Ouch,” Casper muttered.

“Call him that again, and you’ll be eating from a straw,” I warned.

“I’ll call him Your Majesty if you want,” Jiqui pursed his lips. “It won’t change the fact that the herbs won’t work on him. He’s not a Breaker, and when lit these herbs form a potent fog that’s more powerful than anything he’s able to withstand. In layman’s terms, his mind can’t take what they’d do to it.”

“Puny human can’t take Hulk’s magic mist,” Casper grunted in his best Marvel’s Mightiest monotone (which wasn’t very good), shooting me a look.

“No, it’s for the best,” I answered. “I need to do this by myself.”

“You will not,” Dahlia said, inching toward Jiqui and his mysterious mixture. “I have things I need to figure out myself, least of all where my husband is. And even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t let you go through this by yourself.”

The look of her, almost maternal, took me by surprise, though it really shouldn’t have. So much had changed since the night Dahlia caught Casper and I breaking into Weathersby. Back then, I was the meddlesome reminder of the woman who was her husband’s first choice. Back then, I was the world breaker. But now, she saw me as something else. Now I was someone she saw as one of her own, someone she might have even cared for. And the same could be said for me. I didn’t see Dahlia as some ice queen anymore, as someone who needed to pull the stick from her butt. She was a complex woman who-though we may have disagreed at times- wanted what was best, what was right.

Unfortunately for her, I couldn’t let her win this one.

“I understand what you’re saying Dahlia, but I need you here. I need you lucid. As much as I’ve always hated these words, Royce had a point. We can’t trust Jiqui, not completely. And if things go South, I need all of you to be at your best.”

“You have the Raven,” she motioned back to Royce unaffectedly. “The prophecies foretell he has great strength.”

“Not like you,” I shook my head, trying to keep my voice steady. “I’ve watched you lose everything; your daughter, your home, and now your husband. Not to mention losing your belief in the people you were raised with and the system you were brought up in. And you never flinched. Even now, your main focus is keeping me safe. I need that strength Dahlia. I need someone to do what has to be done if I can’t do it myself. There are people who need to be kept safe.” I didn’t say the word Damantus and I didn’t mention Casper’s baby or its mother. But she knew what I meant. “You have to do that if I can’t. And I’ll find Echo for you. I swear it.”

“Good enough,” she answered, her eyes weighing something inside of me. “But,” she started, turning to Jiqui, whose balding head shined in what looked to be the afternoon sun. “If you do something to this girl, if she doesn’t see tomorrow, I’ll make sure you don’t either.”

“Well aren’t you just one big happy makeshift family,” Jiqui grinned. “Trust me, if I wanted to hurt her, I’d have just left her here. The Council will find you morons soon enough without my help, I assure you.” He shook his head. “You’re not the only one with designs for the future. The fact that, when last she saw me, my dear niece’s aspirations didn’t match my own, doesn’t make those aspirations any less real.” He picked up the bowl of ingredients and moved it closer to me. “Besides, if it makes you feel any better, I’ll remind you that I was a disciple of Allister Leeman, and a big piece of his puzzle was keeping this little peach alive.” He smiled at me, which totally turned my stomach.

“Just do what you’ve got to do,” I sneered.

“But of course,” he nearly chirped. “If you’ll have your entourage back up a bit. The mist can be quite expansive.”

“And it won’t screw with you?” Casper asked, reluctant to leave my side.

“I’m, as the ancient Romans always said, immune to that nonsense.”

“I failed history, but I’m pretty sure the Romans didn’t say that,” Casper answered, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“It’s okay,” I said, brushing his arm. “I’ll be fine.”

He stared at me for a second, his mouth quirking nervously to the side. “You better be.”

Ushered by Dahlia, Casper joined Royce far off in the sand.

“What’s next?” I asked, turning away from them, careful not to look at Royce’s face as I glazed over it. He was undoubtedly upset with me, and probably equally as worried. I
was
taking a chance here. But this seemed to be the sort of situation where any decision I made held at least some danger. With Laurel Luna’s letter in hand and absolutely no memory of how I got here, this option seemed like it held the least amount of danger.

At least that was what I hoped.

Jiqui pulled a lighter from his pocket, sparked it, and dropped it into the mixing bowl. A bright white fog spilled from the bowl’s brim, clouding the air between us.

“Now, Cresta Blut, all you have to do is breathe.”

I was just about to scold him, telling him that my name was Karr not Blut, but the instant I opened my mouth, it filled with the stupid magic mist. It tasted dense and dry, like ancient chalk that had been smashed up and fed to me inside a sandpaper milkshake.

I coughed hard, retching as the mist invaded my throat, lungs, and stomach. It stung as it filled me, like thousands of tiny little needles pricking at my insides all at once. I shook and, though I tried to stop myself, slumped to the desert floor.

God, they were right. They were all right to be worried. There was no way it was supposed to hurt this much. It couldn’t be helping me, opening my mind,
and
give me this reaction. This was a trick. Jiqui, finding a way around the barriers my birth mother placed on him, was trying to kill me. And he was going to succeed.

My eyes opened wide as I realized what was going on. I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t move. All I could do was look up at that bright desert sun. The last thing I would ever see.

And then, it left me too.

Darkness filled the sky. The heat, which had pressed so hard against my burnt skin, chilled into an ice cold gust of wind. And the sun, bright and blinding, was replaced by a giant red moon.

“The bloodmoon,” I murmured, finding my lips to be working again. Seemed fitting.