The Boys of Fire and Ash (22 page)

Serin considered this a moment, but Farka was thirsty for our blood.

“No!” she said. “No more delays. Just finish them now. You can't bring them back to camp.”

Serin sighed. “Her Holiness will be able to judge them better than I.”

“You cannot bring them into the camp when so many suffer from the Guilt. Whether the Sacred Innocence condemns them or not, our plagued sisters will be tortured by their presence!”

“Enough, Farka,” Serin ordered.

Yes
, I thought,
enough, Farka
.

Serin nodded to the women holding Av and Fiver. “Bring them.”

We walked for ages, every step a struggle as we tried to move in sync with the wretched wenches who held to us tightly. I tripped a few times, and Farka was always quick to kick me and shout at me to get up. It was clear she was not the Belpheban Head, but with each kick to my side I wished she was.

In the distance, a group of several white figures approached, their hands held out in welcome.

Serin laughed when she saw them. “I take it our Sacred Innocent has seen our special guests.”

The woman in the center, her garb significantly different from the warriors that had captured us—long, flowing white fabrics, a scarf wrapped round her head—smiled and bowed.

“Her Holiness was worried for your task this morning, dear Serin. She has sent us to comfort you.”

Serin smiled and took the woman's hand in hers. “I am comforted,” she said, and bowed.

“Visitors from the Ikkuma Pit,” the woman called to us. “She is waiting for you.”

Who
she
was, I had no idea. I figured if I asked I'd get a bruise from Farka.

The woman in white turned and began walking towards an encampment; tents and crates peeked out from behind rocks and boulders.

Farka and the other two forced the three of us forward, dragging us to follow the white-garbed woman and her companions.

The woman turned and scowled at Farka. “That won't
be necessary, Sisters. The boys are capable of walking on their own.”

The women holding Av and Fiver let them go without hesitation, but Farka held on to the back of my neck a moment—I could feel her wanting to argue.

The woman in white narrowed her eyes, and Farka scoffed, releasing me and pushing me away from her.

“Follow me, gentlemen, I will take you to her,” the woman in white called.

We did. What else could we do? Though, whoever
she
was made me feel a bit uneasy. Just saying
she
was not giving us a lot of information.
She
was not a name, or a face, or an idea. I gulped because that last part wasn't really true.
She
was an idea.
She
was an idea I'd had since I was left at the walls of the Ikkuma Pit. A sick thought crept into my mind, the thought that
she
might be the she I'd hated my whole life. I shook my head, trying to get rid of it.
She
could have been anybody.

The woman in white led us towards the encampment, and as we approached, more Belphebans emerged to meet us. I suddenly understood why Farka thought this was a bad idea, and I was surprised to find myself agreeing with her. The women of the Belpheban camp behaved in two ways: half crowed and hollered at us to leave, throwing things and jeering. “She isn't here!” they mocked. “Go back to the garbage dump she left you to rot in!”

The other half were trying not to cry, or were crying in hysterics. They tried to get close to us, tears streaming down their faces, our guide calming them and gently turning them away.

“Is that my Benedon?” one wailed.

“My boy! My baby boy!” cried another.

“No, no, Sisters. They are not yours!” our guide assured them.

“Forgive me, my son! Forgive me!”

They were reaching for us, clawing at us, wailing and jeering, pulling and pushing, and I grabbed on to Av, more frightened than I had been in Abish Village. I tried not to look at the faces flashing by me, terrified I'd recognize one, the one female face I might know, a distant memory made real, the
she
I was afraid of, the face of my own wretched Mother.

I'd been so focused on doing what Krepin wanted, on getting Cubby back, that I hadn't even thought that I could be marching right into the den of that monster. She could be here. She could have been any one of them. And would she recognize me if she saw me? Had she seen me already? Would she come for me? The urge to run buzzed in my legs and I thought about making a break for it, hiding in the mountains. I never thought I'd face her, and here I was, facing her a hundred times over with every Mother who wept and reached for me.

I closed my eyes trying to get ahold of my pounding heart. If she was here, I told myself, if I had to face my Mother, I'd face her for Cubby.

Our guide ushered us into a grand cave, the Belphebans stopping at the mouth as though an invisible force prevented them from following us inside.

I was shaken up, trembling. I was so frightened but I'd managed to make it through the crowd. Av kept looking back nervously, making sure the women weren't following. Fiver clutched to the bag of supplies from the kind old Fendar Sticks lady, his eyes distant and unfocused.

“Forgive them,” said the woman in white. “They tend
to behave that way whenever a son returns for answers, though I can't say we've ever received three at once.”

So it was true. When some of the Brothers left on their Leaving Day, they went searching for their Mothers. I suddenly felt embarrassed, ashamed that any of the Brothers who left could have come here on such a pathetic search. Though I suppose technically, we were the same as them now.

“How many have you seen?” asked Av.

“Oh, dozens. As long as there have been Belphebans, their sons have come to find them.”

“Do you ambush them too?” growled Fiver.

The woman in white sighed heavily. “These are tense times, child. You must understand that.”

We didn't really, but we were getting a better idea every day. I thought of the damage we'd seen in Fendar Sticks, the boys with their pistols stopping us on the road. Somehow, the Beginners' Holy War was a force bigger than I could have imagined.

“Where are we going?” asked Av.

“To the dwelling of our High Priestess,” said the woman in white. “The Sacred Innocent.”

The cave tunnel opened up into a large cavern; the ceiling stretched so high, and white crystals bigger than the A-Frame hung down from above and protruded from the walls. Rows of women dressed in white were singing softly and sat with their foreheads on the floor. They didn't acknowledge us, absorbed in their music.

We approached a group of crystals in the center of the cavern, a nest of white pillows and blankets at its base, and standing in the middle was a small contorted figure—a girl. Her eyes were closed, her arm stretched towards the ceiling,
her spine bent so far back her head was nearly upside down. Her right foot stood rigid and sturdy on the floor, while the left curled upwards to cradle her head.

Fiver snorted as he tried not to laugh, while I tried to keep my mouth from dropping open. Was this what we were in for? Would they torture us by twisting our bodies so badly that we'd tell them everything? About the Beginners? About my mission?

I was knocked in the shoulder as Av took a step back. His nostrils flared as his chest rose and fell quickly between panicked breaths. Did he dream this? Did he know what they'd do to us?

The woman in white bent on one knee before the contorted girl and addressed her: “On you all my happiness, Holiness.”

The girl's eyes shot open and, without difficulty, she righted herself until she was standing before us like a normal person. She smiled, her cheeks betraying perfect dimples and shining with a radiant blush. Her lips were full, and she kept them pressed together while her dark eyes twinkled as she took us all in.

I stopped breathing, the face that had smiled at me in the Baublenotts suddenly alive in front of me. Belphoebe, the sister of Ardigund, alive.

“Mine for you,” she said to the woman in white. Her dark hair was veiled by a white scarf draped around her head, and across her forehead she wore a silver band. When she looked at me, my body flushed and I felt my cheeks burning. My stomach was leaping and I looked to the floor before she could tell I was having some kind of nervous fit. I'd never felt anything like this before. She had my head
spinning. Blaze said Belphoebe lived thousands of years ago, it couldn't have been her. But the dimples were the same; the kindness was just the same.

“These are the boys from the Ikkuma Pit we were told had been seen in Fendar Sticks,” the woman in white explained.

I mustered enough strength to look back at the girl again, but when I did I saw that her big brown eyes were all for Av, her warm smile devoted to him. She had forgotten about me. He shifted awkwardly and cleared his throat, but she kept drinking him in with her gaze, her eyes welling with tears.

Of course he was all she could see. He was Av. The best hunter in the Ikkuma Pit. Av the Selfless, who helped his best friend without concern for himself. Av the Fearless, who knocked out full-grown men. Av the Strong, whose body never weakened even after it had been poisoned.

He stood there, taller than me, taller than Fiver, smooth olive skin and slender limbs defined with practiced muscle. Where else could she look?

The girl moved closer to him and he backed away.

“May I?” she asked him, holding her hands up by his face.

Av looked at me nervously, but I turned away, suddenly jealous.

With no other options, Av nodded and she placed her hands on either side of his head and closed her eyes. She stayed like that a moment, and tears began to fall down her face.

She released him and wiped her cheeks.

I thought of the Abish fortune-teller, and for one terrifying moment I thought this girl had seen our future, seen us kill the Belpheban Head, like the Abish girl had seen danger
in my hand. And then a worse thought came to me. What if she was the Belpheban Head?

I looked to Fiver, who was equally frightened, and we watched the girl as she wiped her eyes.

A tremor of doubt fluttered in my stomach. Maybe Fiver was right, maybe I wasn't capable of doing what I had to do.

Then the girl burst into a gracious laugh and threw her arms around Av.

The woman in white gently touched the girl on the shoulder. “My lady?” she said quietly.

“Forgive me, forgive me,” the girl managed to say, smiling through the tears. “I'm just so happy you have come.” She grabbed Av's hand in hers and looked to me and Fiver. “Please come! We have so much to discuss!”

“But, Your Holiness,” said the woman in white. “Serin, and the others. They are waiting for your judgment.”

The girl checked her level of excitement and composed herself all of a sudden, radiating a nobility and authority similar to Serin's. “Tell them I have seen inside the boys and they are pure in their intentions. We will welcome them with open hearts.”

At that, she pulled Av towards her nest of pillows and motioned excitedly for me and Fiver to follow.

Fiver let out a sigh of relief, thrilled to discover the Sacred Innocent's special gifts were lacking. Me, on the other hand—I was still shaking. I should have been happy. The girl had saved us from a Belpheban execution, but she'd done it for Av. I thought she was the most perfect thing I had ever seen, and she didn't care what happened to me.

“You must forgive Serin,” said the girl when we sat down on the plush white cushions. “She has much to worry about.”

Fiver and Av nodded if only to be agreeable, both of them avoiding her eyes, both of them still unsure how to handle themselves around a girl. Me, I couldn't keep my eyes off her. Or Av. Her gaze was devoted to him, drinking in every curve of his good-looking face. She'd barely even glanced at Fiver.

Or me.

“As the head of our sisterhood,” the girl went on, “she is charged with protecting her sisters. It is no easy task.”

My ears perked up. So the Belpheban Head was Serin! I took a deep breath. I think if you asked anybody, they'd bet two Larmy legs on Serin coming out of this unharmed, and me deader than mud.

A woman dressed in white came with glasses of some kind of creamy milk and the girl went on: “Since the attack of the Beginners' forces on our old camp only last month, she has had to be extra careful. They came for her, you see.”
At that she stole a glance at me and I got a sick feeling. Did she know what we were up to after all?

“The Beginners want her dead.”

“Why would they want that?” I said, trying to sound as innocent as I could.

“Because she's been helping the Resistance.”

“The what?” said Fiver.

The girl smiled and hugged her knees. “The armies who oppose Krepin and his war against the blasphemers. It is lovely that the Pit keeps you so protected from all this war ugliness.”

Not protected enough
, I thought, my heart aching for Cubby.

“Holiness,” said Av. “We only want—”

The girl laughed and grabbed his hand, “Oh, no, no, you must call me Lussit. That is my name.”

Lussit. It couldn't have been more perfect if I had chosen it myself.

“Lussit,” Av corrected himself. “We only want—”

“I know what you want.”

All three of us jumped at this confession. Had she seen it all over me? Seen what Krepin wanted me to do to Serin? My insides withered. Had she seen how I thought about her? About her smile? About her eyes? I felt a hot rush spreading across my cheeks and I glanced towards the cave entrance, wondering if we would have time to make a run for it.

The girl sighed as she watched our faces. “I know what you have come for. I also know why.”

“You read Av's thoughts?” said Fiver.

The girl nodded. “In a sense. I come from a long line of Sacred Innocents. The Belphebans have had one for thousands
of years, all the way back to our founding Mother. Her gifts are in the blood, you see. My blood. Since I was born, I've been able to lay a hand on another's skin and see into their hearts, like she could.” She pressed her hands to her chest. “The mind is a muddy place; people tell too many lies up there, especially to themselves. The heart, though, that's where you find a person's truth. You find what they love, what they hate, what they want, what they long for.” She looked at me. “You have lost someone special?”