The Boys Club (19 page)

With the wedding ring and the photograph still two items
Logan kept with him, Sara knew it had to be recently that she died. Not so
recent that he no longer wore his ring, but close enough that he still carried
the ring and her picture with him. Sometime in the last few years.

He hired someone to
kill me. But they missed.

Sara’s eyes grew wide as Logan’s words from their last night
at the safe house raced through her mind. He said her father placed the hit on
him a couple years earlier, and thinking about it now, she remembered that Jack
told her that his wife died around that same time.

Her father had killed Logan’s pregnant wife.

Logan walked into the bedroom, dressed in fresh clothes.
Sara rose to meet him, the picture and wedding band still in her hands. He
stopped when he saw them. After a moment, his eyes drifted from them to her
face.

She could not contain her tears when pain flashed across his
face after seeing the wedding band and photograph. “My father did this,” she
said.

Logan tilted his head. “Sara—”

“He did, didn’t he? He killed your wife and baby.”

“How, uh… how do you know about Karen?”

Karen.
Though she
had heard the name of his wife from Jack, hearing it tumble from Logan’s lips
kicked Sara in the gut. His wife had a name, a husband who loved her more than
anything else, and a child on the way. The happiest time of her life, destroyed
by Sara’s father in an attempt to settle his vendetta against Logan.

“Jack told me,” Sara said. “He didn’t tell me she was
pregnant, but he told me she died a couple years ago.” She looked down at the
picture and ring in her hands. “I’m sorry, Logan. I didn’t mean to upset you or
go through your things. I saw something in the side of the bag and I opened it
and—”

“It’s okay.” Logan walked over to her and plucked the
mementos from her hands.

“He did this, didn’t he?” she asked again.

“He did,” Logan whispered.

Sara’s eyelids fell and her face scrunched up. She covered
her mouth and nose with her hands and leaned forward.

Logan’s hand landed on her shoulder. “Sara—”

“How did I not know?”

“Know what?”

She strode away from him and gestured wildly. “He killed
your wife and baby, he hired someone to kill me.” She turned around to face
him. “How did I not know that he was so… evil? What did I miss seeing all those
years? I should have known. I should have seen something,
anything
that would have clued me in to who he really is. Maybe if
I had paid more attention, maybe if I had listened to my instincts, I could
have discovered what he was doing and stopped him somehow.”

“Sara, it’s not your—”

“You keep saying that it’s not my fault, but it sure as hell
feels like it is.”

Logan remained quiet.

“I’m going to take a shower.” She brushed past Logan, raced
out the door, and went into the bathroom across the hall. She turned on the hot
water and tugged up the diverter. As the water streamed through the shower
head, she sat on the edge of the tub and buried her face in her hands.

Logan lifted his balled-up fist to
knock on the door, but lowered it before his knuckles connected with the wood.
He frowned and stared at the white in front of him, wondering what Sara was
doing behind the door. She had shut herself in her room after her shower and
spent the last two hours in a self-imposed quarantine. The faster the clock
ticked down the minutes, the more Logan wanted to help ease her pain. He
understood more than anyone the harm Langston brought into the lives of those
around him, and seeing Sara tormented by that monster was too much for him.

The door swung open and Logan stepped back.

Sara jumped. “I was just coming out to talk to you.”

“And I was just coming up to talk to you.”

She pulled the door back and gestured for him to come in the
room. “I wanted to apologize… again.”

“There’s no need to apologize.”

“But there is. I guess a lot of what I’m learning is
catching me off-guard and I don’t know what to do or how I should feel.”

“I’ve lived with what he can do for years now. You’ve had an
atomic bomb dropped on your life and you’re dealing with the fallout.”

“I never knew how horrible of a person he was until now,”
she said, lowering herself onto the edge of the bed. “What he did to you was
just awful.”

Logan sat next to her on the bed and turned to the side. “I
put myself in a position where I could get hurt. I know I was just doing my
job, but I also knew that by going undercover and working for him I could lose
my life. At the time, I didn’t know Karen and I didn’t think about what the
future would hold. I certainly didn’t plan on getting married and starting a
family.”

“You have told me over and over that it’s not my fault. You
should listen to yourself a little more. It’s not your fault, either.”

“But my story’s different than yours. My job endangers me
and anyone around me. I should have known better than to let someone into my
life.”

Sara sat sideways on the bed and crossed her legs. “You just
said you didn’t know her and you didn’t plan on meeting her. So it’s not your
fault. Are you supposed to deny yourself any kind of happiness because you’re
helping out others?”

“Maybe.”

“Well, then by your reasoning, I also shouldn’t look to ever
be happy because he just so happens to be my father.”

Logan opened his mouth to argue, but stopped. Sara’s logic
could not be denied. He couldn’t keep telling her that she wasn’t responsible
for her father’s actions and then hold himself responsible for those same
misdeeds. For the first time, he considered the strong possibility that the
blame for Karen’s death rested elsewhere.

“I’ve spent the last couple hours wondering about my role in
this whole mess,” Sara continued. “When it comes down to it, I can’t blame
myself. I was never around him and I had no idea what he was doing. The thing
that gets me, though, is all the damage he has done. He has hurt so many
people, destroyed lives, and that’s just what I know about. What else has he
done that I don’t know? How many other people are suffering or have suffered
because of him?”

“You can’t torture yourself thinking about that. The only
thing you can do, now that you know who he is, is stop him somehow. That’s why
the FBI wants to get you on their team. You have knowledge about him that no
one else does. They can use what you know in conjunction with evidence they’ve
collected to put him away for the rest of his life.”

“And then we both get some closure and peace.”

“That’s the plan,” Logan said.

Sara sighed. “Then I guess it’s in my best interest to
cooperate with the feds. So, tell me. What happens when I go into witness
protection?”

“The FBI will provide you with a new identity, take you to a
secret location, and you’ll stay there for the duration of your time in the
program. If your identity is compromised in any way, they will move you.”

“How long will I be there?”

“Until it’s safe for you to come out again. That might be
the rest of your life.”

“I won’t be able to talk to Mary anymore, or any of my
friends, will I?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Do I at least get to pick out my new name?”

Her sad eyes and downturned mouth made Logan want to give
her some hope. “I can’t promise anything, but Schaffer might be able to get
that worked out for you.”

Sara’s expression dropped and her eyes lowered to her hands
in her lap. “Will you come see me?”

Logan hesitated, wanting to give her any answer but the
truth. Settling on being honest, he said, “I can’t, Sara. They won’t let anyone
know where you are, especially not me, not with Langston still coming after me.
They can’t—
I
can’t risk your life
like that.”

She took a deep breath. “I was hoping Schaffer would have
you come with me. You know, so I would know someone.”

Logan had hoped that himself. He considered asking Schaffer
to assign him to her security, but reminded himself that he couldn’t put his
own selfish desires over Sara’s safety. “That’s not the way it works,” he told
her. “Once this job is over, my part will be done.”

“I keep forgetting this is just another job for you.”

His fingertips grazed her shoulder. “If I go with you, I
would put you in danger. That’s the only reason I’m not going with you to watch
over you.” His fingers trailed down her arm and covered her hand. “But you’re
not just another—”

A noise from downstairs stopped his words. He whipped his
head to the side, eyes narrowed. Voices drifted up the steps and into the room.

He looked back at Sara’s frightened face. “The cubby.”

They climbed off the bed, and Logan grabbed his bag. He
guided her to the wall and he pushed open the door. He wrapped his arm around
Sara and forced her into the cubby with him. He shut the door behind them and
set his bag down beside them on the floor, careful not to make a sound. His
hand cradled her back and she pressed into him.

Squeezed together in the tight, dark space, Logan couldn’t
ignore her trembling body touching his. Her cheek rested against his chest,
with her arms pinned between their bodies and her fingers curling into his
shirt. He stared at the top of her head for a moment before raising his eyes to
look into the darkness. He focused instead on the noises coming from down the
hall and prayed the men didn’t know about their hiding place.

Sara moved her head. He glanced down to see her looking up
at him.

“Logan—”

He touched her mouth to silence her whisper. As soon as his
fingers caressed her soft lips, a dam broke inside of him. He drew back his
hand as if bitten, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from hers. They remained
still, as voices came from the other side of the door, accompanying the sound
of the men ransacking the room.

Logan tried to listen to the voices, but Sara held him
captive. She extended her arm upward, touching her shaking fingertips to his
cheek. He took her hand and he lowered his head, as she rose on her toes to
meet him. Their lips met in a soft, tentative kiss. Her mouth lingered next to
his, their eyes studying each other, as if neither of them were sure of the
next move.

He let go of her hand, which reconnected with his face. His
palm slid around to the back of her head, tangling his fingers in her hair. Her
chin lowered just a bit, enough to force Logan to take action before he lost
the moment. His mouth crushed hers in a fierce kiss, one that she reciprocated.
Sara freed her other arm from between them and threw it around his waist. Her
fingers tugged at his shirt while her other hand latched onto the back of his
neck.

Another voice came from the room, reminding Logan of their
company. Every sane part of him screamed that continuing to kiss Sara would
lead down a dangerous path for them both, but he couldn’t help himself. While
Allie only succeeded in awakening his physical needs, Sara aroused every part
of him, waking him up for the first time since Karen died, something he never
thought he would experience again. Now that he tasted her, fueling a new
addiction, he wasn’t about to stop.

Logan ignored the warnings and lost himself in his almost
frantic desire. No sound came from either of them, their forced restraint
building his need for her to uncontrollable heights. His mouth never strayed
from hers and they could barely move in the cubby, but the tight quarters
didn’t stop him from exploring the sensual curves of her body through her clothing.

He didn’t know how much time passed before he realized the
men had long since disappeared. He did not want to let go of her, but they also
could not stay in the closet. Breaking away from her, he ran his thumbs over
her cheek.

“Stay here,” he whispered.

She moistened her lips and nodded.

Pushing the door open, he squeezed past her, into the room.
The harsh daylight seeping through the curtains seared his eyes, reminding him
of his priority to keep her safe. Without looking at her, he closed the door
behind him. He crept into the main hallway and waited, but heard nothing. He
opened a small slit in the blinds covering the window at the end of the hall.
Looking down, he saw no cars in the driveway or on the street near the house.

Once he searched the house and confirmed the men had left,
he went back upstairs to get Sara. His heart grew heavier with each step. He
had crossed the line with her, a line he had managed to stay clear of since the
first time he saw her. He couldn’t take back what happened, but he also
couldn’t ignore it.

He opened the door to the cubby. “It’s safe.”

She stepped out, but avoided his gaze. After putting several
steps between them, she asked, “Do we need to leave?”

He had wondered that himself, but the lateness of the hour
made him reconsider getting back on the road to move her again. “We’ll be fine
for tonight. There’s no need for them to return again tonight since they
already ruled out this house for our location. In the morning, I’ll contact
Schaffer. He will let us know if we’re staying here or moving somewhere else.”

“Would he have us go to the Church tomorrow?” Her innocent
sounding question held hidden meaning, one he recognized. As soon as they were
back at the Church, they would be separated and she would be whisked away by
the FBI. Everything that just happened would soon be a memory, an unfulfilled
desire.

“I don’t know yet,” he said. “He wants us to come in, but
I’m not so sure it’s a good idea.”

“Oh.”

Her eyes shifted around the room, and Logan tried to find
something to look at other than her. Reminders of the closet filled every
second of silence, and he regretted his actions. He knew better and could have
displayed more self-control, if only he had tried.

“We should—”

“What if—”

Their words came at the same time and they chuckled. He
turned his head and seeing her in his peripheral vision caught his attention.
Though her eyes pointed at the floor, her flushed cheeks and timid fidgeting
hypnotized him. His job no longer mattered. He took a step in her direction. She
blinked and looked up. Their eyes locked and everything he felt in the closet
rushed back into him at once.

Sara moved toward him, but stopped just before she reached
him. She crossed her arms at the wrist, grabbed the hem of her T-shirt, and
pulled it over her head. As she dropped the shirt to the ground, his eyes
roamed over her skin and heat filled every inch of his body. She reached behind
her back and unhooked her bra. It fell loose at the sides, but stayed in place.

He closed the gap between them and lifted his palm to her
cheek. “I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

“You’re not.”

His thumb traveled over her parted lips, and she closed her
eyes. His hand moved down her neck to her shoulder. He slipped his fingers
between her bra strap and shoulder.

“I also don’t want to stop kissing you.”

“Then don’t,” she whispered. “Don’t ever stop.”