The Boyfriend List (2 page)

“Kim gave me this. Remember when we wrote these?”

Joey’s mouth dropped open when she examined the page. “Oh my God. Your Boyfriend List! I can’t believe it!”

“I can’t believe she had it. I haven’t thought about this in years.”

Joey smiled. “I guess she found it when she was going through all those boxes that were stored at my parents’ house. Ha! Look at this one.” She pointed at the page.

“Which one?”

“Number twelve. ‘He should be good at math, since I suck at it.’ I guess you forgot about that one with the last guy?”

Jenna couldn’t argue with that. Her dirtbag ex-boyfriend may have had a fancy MBA, but he had a lot of trouble with math when it came to taking care of other people’s money. Scratch that. Math wasn’t the issue; his problem was he didn’t seem to understand he shouldn’t steal other people’s money. The jerk was never caught, and his last known whereabouts were with some consulting firm in Boston. It may have been a five-hour drive, but even being on the same coast as him was too close for comfort.

She looked back at the list. It was pie-in-the-sky romantic fantasy.
Good looking. Sweet. He should be athletic, trust me with his secrets, AND get along with my dad.
What. Was. She. Thinking?

“I can’t believe we were so naïve.”

“Maybe. But who’s to say it he’s not out there?” Joey asked. “I think Owen has every one of the qualities on your list.”

“That’s Owen. Kim got lucky.”

Joey reached her arm around Jenna’s shoulder. “Well, then we’re getting lucky, too. It’s our turn.”

He should hold my hand—just because.

—#7, Jenna’s Boyfriend List

There was something magical about the first wedding dance. The way a couple fit together, the way they looked at each other as they moved across the floor for the first time as husband and wife, was probably the most romantic part of any reception. Jenna always expected to see her brother dancing with Kim. Ever since they’d been were teenagers, Kim’s heart belonged to Tom. The tragedy of his death, and the betrayal Kim felt when some secrets came to light, almost broke her dear friend. The revelations almost broke Jenna’s whole family. If a storybook couple like Kim and Tom had secrets, what did that mean for everyone else?

But as Owen took his bride in his arms, a bit of Jenna’s faith was restored. This was a marriage that would last forever. Looking at the couples surrounding the dance floor—Jason and Meg, Caroline and Josh, and Harper and Kevin—people she’d gotten to know over the past few months, she saw that true love did exist.

It just wasn’t for her.

“You look like you have something on your mind.” The sweet baritone tickled her ear and when she turned her head, just as she thought, Nate was standing close. Close enough for Jenna to see the flecks of gold in his eyes and to be hypnotized by the scent of his cologne. Damn, he smelled good.

“I, ah . . .”
Speak, dummy!
Jenna pulled herself together. She could not let him affect her. “I was just thinking about how much can change in a year. I see Kim now, and after . . .” Even though he’d been an ass to Kim, Jenna still understandably choked up when she thought about her brother. “I’m just glad she’s happy. She deserves it.”

“I think everyone deserves happiness,” he said. He was completely focused on her and, God, he had the most stunning eyes—a combination of gold, gray, and green, they sparkled with intelligence.

“I guess,” she muttered.

“Hmmm.” He folded his hands in front of him and Jenna noticed his long, tapered fingers—beautiful hands. A man’s hands. “You don’t agree?”

He was very formal, which made her think he was being so considerate because they were “paired” up for the day. Maybe he realized that blowing her off at the rehearsal dinner wasn’t the right thing to do? If that was the case, she had to give the guy credit for trying. If he was willing, maybe he didn’t dislike her after all.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

“I just think sometimes happiness is overrated,” she blurted out.

Nate’s gaze went from curious to confused
. Crap.
She promised herself she’d put her inner cynic in the closet for the day and focus on the wedding celebration. That’s what the day was all about, not her personal regrets.

“I don’t understand what you mean by that.”

From what Jenna knew of Nate, he was a born-and-bred rich boy. Maybe not old money, but established money. He didn’t understand what it was like to struggle financially, to fight for what you wanted. He was handsome, well-educated, successful, and his life was pretty much perfect. But Jenna had learned that blissful happiness, the kind that people pursued like the Holy Grail, just wasn’t real.

“I don’t mean to say there aren’t happy moments,” she explained. “But I think sometimes you have to settle for what life gives you. Being content with what you’ve been dealt has its advantages.”

Nate, who was always very controlled when she was around, took her hand, startling her. “Settling should never be an option for anyone, Jenna. But especially for someone like you.”

What?

Was that a compliment? A line?

“What do you mean, like me?”

Nate kept hold of her hand and pulled it through the crook of his arm. Very smooth, and even more unexpected. “I mean,” he began as he walked her on the dance floor, “that someone who has your brains and your personality shouldn’t have to settle. The question is, why do you think that?”

“I think I said people should be content.” That was the God’s honest truth. Jenna believed in contentment with all her heart. When you set your sights on possibilities instead of staying grounded in reality, you ended up disappointed. Nate had pulled her into his arms and as his hand settled on the small of her back, Jenna warmed from the inside out.
Oh . . . she could be in trouble.

“Yes, but you also used the word
settle
.”

Jenna opened her mouth to say something, but when she set her eyes on his face, on his impish grin, she couldn’t utter a word. Nothing she said would come out right. Not while Nate was turning her brain to mush.

They had different perspectives based on different experiences. Which was exactly why she couldn’t let someone as handsome and rich as Nate get under her skin. He had no interest in her; today was about being polite. Which was also a sign of how he was raised. He treated people kindly, no matter who they were.

“I don’t see anything wrong with being realistic.” That was Jenna. The realist. The romantic had been driven out years ago.

He laughed. It was a deep and full—coming right from his core—and when he smiled she wondered how a man like him wasn’t married with a pack of kids.

“You need some pipe dreams. It keeps things interesting.”

“It also sets you up for a big letdown.”

***

What the hell had happened to Jenna that she didn’t want to believe in happiness? Nate was an accountant by training—he was practical, methodical, more than a little boring—but even he believed in being happy. The poor girl in his arms believed in settling, and that pissed him off. No one should have to settle.

The dance ended and she stepped back, quickly putting distance between them. He missed the feel of her, the softness of her form against his. She had no idea how he felt about her, and Nate guessed if he made another move, it could scare her off. That was the last thing he wanted, but he wasn’t sure what to do.

Jenna’s eyes were fixed on him. “Thank you for being so nice. It can be awkward being thrown together like this.”

“Being nice to you isn’t hard,” he said. “I mean, we’re all friends here.”

Her eyes narrowed doubtfully.
“Friends?”

“Well . . . uh . . . yes?”

“Oh. I wasn’t sure.” She threw him a stiff smile and nodded. “Okay. Friends, then.”

Shit.

“Right. Well. Can I escort you to our table?” Nate offered his arm and Jenna nodded once again.

Friends. Fucking perfect.

The soft teal fabric of the dress floated around her as they walked, and Jenna’s hair picked up the light from the setting sun as it streamed through the windows of the ballroom.

The historic castle on Long Island where Owen and Kim chose to have their reception was as elegant as one would expect for a billionaire CIO and his bride. But it was also filled with the warmth brought by Kim’s large family and all the friends Owen and Kim had acquired, from childhood through their service in the military.

Once they arrived at their assigned table and found their seats, the silence settled over them. Jenna examined the silverware and centerpiece, the menu, the favors—pretty much anything, so she could avoid making eye contact with him. Nate, on the other hand, took her in. Jenna’s hair was long and dark, a chocolate brown, which fell in soft curls over her shoulders. Likewise, her dusky brown eyes were surrounded by thick, black lashes. There was nothing flashy about Jenna . . . she had clear, olive-toned skin, full lips, and curves that made men weep.

She tugged at the strapless top of her dress and winced a little.

“Something wrong?” he asked.

“Just making sure there are no wardrobe malfunctions.”

“Wouldn’t want that,” he said, thinking that getting an unexpected look at Jenna could give him dirty dreams for a month.

Jenna froze and a glint of humor flashed in her eyes. “Did you just make a joke?”

“A joke? Jenna, if you have a ‘wardrobe malfunction’ I promise that will be no joke.” It would be a miracle. He took advantage of the conversation’s subject to take in the way Jenna’s very generous breasts filled out the strapless gown.

“Stop looking at my boobs, Nate,” she warned gently. Busted. Thankfully, she was grinning, and he was happy to find out Jenna had a sense of humor.

“Sorry.” He wasn’t sorry. He looked again.

“Nate’s looking at your boobs?”

Not knowing whether he should be relieved for the company or angry at the interruption, they were joined at the table by Harper and Kevin Rossi. Harper was the whip-smart director of operations at Reliance Software, and Kevin, her husband, played baseball for the Mets. If nothing else, Harper didn’t mince words.

“No,” he said firmly. And looked again.

“Yes!” Jenna replied, glaring at him as the corners of her mouth took on a downward turn.
Oh shit. He’d crossed the line.
“Yes. It was funny once, Nate.”

Harper patted his back. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”

Both his and Jenna’s heads snapped toward Harper. “You think it’s okay that he ogles my chest?”

“What do you mean, you didn’t know I had it in me?”

“Oh, boy.” She leaned into her husband. “I got them both riled up.”

“Why would you think I’m immune to a beautiful woman?” He turned to Jenna, furious, but he wasn’t quite sure at whom. “I apologize for making you uncomfortable. Would you like me to move to the other side of the table?” He stood.

“Oh, don’t be so sensitive,” Harper said. “Sit down.”

“Harper, it’s Jenna’s call. Want me to move?”

Jenna’s faced flushed because she realized the mood of the moment—and probably the rest of the day—hinged on her. She could end it one way or the other.

“No. Sit down. I overreacted.”

“Okay. I apologize again for making you uncomfortable. That wasn’t my intention.”

“Thank you.” Jenna stiffened as Meg and Jason, as well as Josh and Caroline Campbell, joined them. He couldn’t help but wonder if it was the company that had her so edgy. There wasn’t one person there who didn’t like Jenna, but they were his friends, not hers, and he wondered what he could do to help her have a good time. Just as he was about to ask her if she wanted some wine, she put her napkin on the table.

“Excuse me, I’m going to see if Kim needs anything.” She rose without looking at him and tottered on her very high heels across the room to where Kim was standing with her sisters. Once there, Nate saw her whole demeanor change. Her shoulders relaxed. She smiled—and it wasn’t a fake smile, but a real one. She was with her people. When she was sitting with him, she looked like she’d been sentenced.

“Are you okay?” Meg asked as she reached for the bread basket. “Jenna didn’t look too happy.”

“Nate was staring at Jenna’s boobs.” Harper sipped her champagne and her husband rolled his eyes.

“Could you stop saying that?” Nate was getting pissed.

“Were you?” Caroline asked.

“I’m not talking about this.” Just because every other person at the table seemed to lack a filter didn’t mean he did.

Jason, Kevin, and Josh laughed. Kevin reached around his wife and patted Nate on the shoulder. “You say that like you have some kind of choice in the matter.”

“Look, she’s nice. She doesn’t know us well, so let’s try to keep this polite.”

“I’m very polite.” Harper waved the champagne flute around before Kevin grabbed it from her. “You were the one objectifying her.”

Jason poured himself a glass of wine from one of the bottles sitting on the table. “We established in church that she’s beautiful and that Nate actually likes her. So he’s not just checking her out. You, Harper, are late to the party. “

“This is my worst nightmare,” Nate moaned. “It’s like middle school.”

Meg laughed. “Why should you get off the hook? We’ve all had to deal with it from this crowd. When a possible hookup looms, no one is safe, as we all embrace our inner middle schooler.”

“A hookup? Why was I not informed?” Harper demanded.

“I’m going to get some air,” Nate muttered. He didn’t waste any time, making a beeline for the large stone terrace that looked out over the lawn all the way to the water. The sun had started to set and the weather was beautiful, with a cool breeze blowing in off Long Island Sound. It was the perfect for a temporary escape.

This was the craziest balancing act yet. For ten months, since he first met Jenna at Owen and Kim’s engagement dinner, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her. Every word she uttered, every smile, every laugh haunted him. And after all this time, he still hadn’t done anything to take it further.

Nate wasn’t a believer in insta-love. His feelings for Jenna had grown over the past months. They’d spent time together at parties and dinners. She was always included because she was Kim’s best friend, and each time they were someplace together, her spirit lit him up. She made him want—she made him want everything.

“God, I’m such an idiot.”

“Why are you an idiot?”

Turning, Jenna was right behind him. Her fingers were woven tightly together and she looked nervous. Tense. Like she wanted to be anyplace but that wedding.

“Are you all right?” He took a tentative step in her direction.

“I’m not sure.”

“What do you mean?” It was a real possibility he’d blown it with her. Obviously, she was more sensitive than he thought. “I’m really sorry about before,” he apologized. Again.

Damn. She looked so fragile. Sad. Every protective and proprietary bone in his body went on alert.

“That’s not it,” she shrugged. “I know you were just kidding around. I just . . . I thought this would be easier,” she whispered. “You know, Kim’s wedding. As much as I’m happy for her and Owen, she was supposed to marry my brother. I guess it’s another reminder for me that he’s gone.”

Jenna’s brother, Tom Albanese, had been dead almost two years. Now, based on how things had unraveled before he died, he doubted he and Kim would have walked down the aisle anyway, but that wasn’t making this any easier for Jenna and her family, who were trying to be supportive.

“Does that make any sense?” she asked quietly. He wasn’t sure what he should say. She seemed desperate for someone to talk to, someone who wouldn’t judge.