The Box of Delights (26 page)

Instantly, as they sped, the mermaids shot to the surface beside them; many white, grey and gleaming birds swooped out of heaven to them; the whales surged out from below,
snorting out glittering fountains. With little whickering flickers the flying fish leaped beside them like tiny silver arrows. The first moment or two, on setting forth, had been terrifying, but
now, in all this glitter and leap and speed, with the lady singing, the dolphins ever going faster, the mermaids splashing water at him, and himself splashing water back at the mermaids, Kay loved
it more than anything that had ever happened to him. It was exquisite to feel the dolphins quivering to the leap, and to surge upwards into the bright light with flying fish sparkling on each side;
then to surge down into the water, scattering the spray like bright fire, full of rainbows, then to leap on and on, wave after wave, mile after mile. In the thrill and delight of this leaping
journey Kay fell asleep. He was presently aware of Arnold getting off his dolphin at Tibbs Wharf near the
Lock and Key.
He half opened his eyes, thought he heard the church bells chime, and
then woke up drowsily in his seat at Seekings, under the valance of the dressing-table, where the Box lay on the floor. He went down to lunch. It was lunch-time and the others were there.

‘Well, Kay,’ Jemima said, after a while, ‘you have seemed to us half-asleep ever since lunch began. Aren’t you going to say something?’

‘Say something?’ Kay said. ‘Where is Arnold?’

‘Arnold?’ they said. ‘Who’s Arnold?’

‘It’s very odd,’ Kay said, and he went to the window in order that he might pull himself together. It was very strange, but there at the top of the garden was a strange figure
of fun, dressed seemingly in old leather, bits of sail and palm leaf, staring with admiration at the church tower.

‘That’s a tramp,’ Maria said.

‘Well, as it’s Christmas Eve, I must take him some food,’ Kay said.

So he cut some meat, some bread and a chunk of cheese, and pocketed two mincepies, and went out to refresh poor Arnold of Todi; but when he reached the top of the garden Arnold had slipped
through the wicket gate and was gone. Kay looked along the lane and elsewhere for him, but Arnold was gone.

W
hen he returned to the house, Maria had a little special edition of the Tatchester paper.

‘Kay,’ she said, ‘you’re losing all the fun. They’ve tried to scrobble another clergyman who was walking into Tatchester from Tineton.’

‘Did they get him?’ Kay asked.

‘No, they didn’t get him,’ Maria said. ‘Here is the account. I’ll read it.

“It now seems undoubted that the recent outrages at Tatchester are the work of an organised gang, sworn probably by some subversive maniac to prevent the millennial
celebrations. We are happy to state that on this occasion the scoundrels were defeated. The Reverend Josiah Stalwart, Rector of Tineton, had undertaken, in answer to the Archbishop’s plea, to
be prepared in case of need to help with the services in the Cathedral tonight. While proceeding to Tatchester along the Roman Road he was passed by a dark motor car in which were two men. The car
stopped, the two men got out and coming towards him asked if he would like a lift. He noticed that one of the men had a white splash upon his leggings and held his right hand behind his back. Not
quite liking their looks, and being naturally on his guard in view of recent events in Tatchester, he declined the lift and at once the taller man attempted to fling over his head what seemed like
a felt bag, while the accomplice tried to deal him a short arm punch in the ribs. The Reverend Stalwart avoided the felt bag and smote his shorter assailant on the head with the holly cudgel which
had been lately presented to him by his admiring colleagues of the Tineton Hockey Team, which he has so often led to victory. Being an exceedingly athletic gentleman as well as a very good
heavyweight boxer, Mr Stalwart proceeded to deal with the bagman. The ruffians, realising too late the kind of man with whom they had to deal, exchanged rapid passwords, which the Reverend Stalwart
thinks may be of assistance to the Police. The shorter man said, ‘Kool slop.’ The taller man said, ‘Mizzle.’ They succeeded in tripping the reverend gentleman by a throw
unknown to him, darted into the car, the engine of which had been kept running, and were at once out of sight, going at great speed.

“Mr Stalwart proceeded at once to Tatchester Police Station and a full description of both bandits is being broadcast at half-hourly intervals from all stations. Mr Stalwart is convinced
that both criminals will bear marks of their meeting with him for some weeks.

“We would point out that the mystic words uttered by the reprobates are common thieves slang: ‘Kool slop’ is what is called back slang: the words Look, Police turned backwards.
It is a familiar warning in the underworld. The other word, ‘Mizzle’, of doubtful derivation, means escape, fly or hurry away.

“It is hardly credible that armed bandits should thus beset a public highway in broad daylight to kidnap members of a holy calling. We are delighted that, in this case, a little resolution
and British pluck have defeated their purpose. Needless to say, the precautions of the Police have been trebled on every road leading to Tatchester. In future no clergyman will proceed to
Tatchester to take Christmas duty save under Police protection.

“We understand that the Tineton Hockey Club has sent a long telegram of congratulation to their victorious captain.”’

‘You see,’ Maria said, ‘they’ve been diddled this time. The Reverend Josiah must be a bit of a boy to take on two.’

‘I say, they will be furious,’ Kay said.

‘I don’t know,’ Maria said. ‘You see here, the Stop Press News. They’ve got the two Rectors and Curates from the Parish Churches in Tatchester: the Reverend Arthur
Pure, the Reverend William Godley, Thomas Holyport and Charles Lectern: all disappeared, no one knows how. “Consternation and anguish in Rectory and Curacy alike.”’

It was now very nearly half-past two. Kay went back to his room thinking: ‘They’ve had a good deal of success, but this set-back, coming at this time, will make Abner furious; and he
may proceed to extremes. I must find out what he intends to do.’

He locked himself into his room and climbed underneath the valance of the dressing-table. He turned the knob of the Box, so that he might go swiftly and little to Abner’s room at Chester
Hills.

He was set down in the upper corridor of the Theological College, near a door that stood ajar under the little label ‘Chief.’ Kay listened near this door. Nobody seemed to be within.
He peeped in: no one was there. He slipped inside and then, as he wished to examine the room, he resumed his proper shape and closed the door. The door clicked-to with a snap. When it was fastened
he realised, too late, that it was a spring lock. He was shut in.

‘That may be awkward,’ he thought. ‘But here I am in Abner’s own room; I must look about to see what I can see.’

By the clock on a little table near the wall, he saw that it was two-twenty-seven. ‘I’m early for the meeting,’ he thought. ‘I’ve got a minute or two, before they
come.’

Plainly this part of the house was of the sixteenth century, or more than a hundred years older than the rest of the building. It was a small, irregular room, with a low ceiling and little
Elizabethan windows, still glazed with old, thick, greenish glass in little panes like the bottoms of bottles. The walls were covered with tapestries, much worn and faded. The mantel was great,
solid, black oak reaching to the ceiling, all carved with grotesque figures. There was a small alcove at the room’s end; it contained a hard, little camp-bed that had not yet been made.

‘Abner may be fond of food,’ Kay thought, ‘but he’s pretty tough if he sleeps in a bed like this.’

There were books in the bookshelves:
Sermons on Several Occasions
, Tillotson’s
Sermons
, Dr Beatty’s
Sermons
, Dr South’s
Sermons
, the Reverend
Hart’s
Sermons
, the Reverend George Crabbe’s
Sermons
,
Sermons for the Year
, etc., etc.; but on all the books the dust was thick. Kay went to the window to see what
could be seen from it. The window was shut and the glass so thick that he could not see through it. To his surprise, when he opened it, the window, which had looked like four loopholes divided by
stone mullions, opened all in one piece. He found that it opened on charming little leads between two pitches of steep roof. There were ladders up these pitches and, apparently, ladders leading
down on the other sides of them. ‘Here is a way of escape,’ Kay thought, ‘in case of need.’ He could judge from the shadows that this window opened to the south-east.

After this, Kay spent a minute poking the knobs in the carved mantelpiece, hoping that one of them might work a spring and reveal a secret stair. Then suddenly, he heard voices just outside the
door.

Abner was saying, ‘But I left this door ajar!’

A key pressed into the lock. Kay just had time to press the knob of his Box so that he might go small when the door opened and Abner and Joe came in. Kay squeezed into a recess by the fireplace
behind the tapestry.

‘Funny thing about that door,’ Abner said. ‘I left it ajar purposely. Someone’s been in here and left the window open.’

He shut the window. He went into the alcove, took a hasty glance round under the bed and behind the tapestries: ‘I’ll enquire about that door and window,’ he said. ‘I
wonder who’s been in. Do you know who’s been in?’

‘No, Chief,’ Joe said. ‘Of course I don’t.’

‘Well, why don’t you? You’ve been in charge here while my wife and I have been in Tatchester. Have you been in?’

‘No,’ Joe said. ‘Of course I haven’t.’

‘No “of course” about it,’ Abner snapped. ‘But as I’ve told you all many times, there’s a little trap in store for the man who comes prying in here and
you’re most of you too scared to try it. I shall know tonight who’s been in. Look out for squalls if I find it’s you.’

‘It wasn’t me.’

‘Now then, listen to me. Who sent those two fools to tackle Josiah Stalwart?’

‘I did,’ Joe growled.

‘Didn’t I give strict orders that no scrobbling party was to consist of less than four; three to scrobble, one to keep the car ready?’

‘That was before we were short-handed.’

‘Did I or did I not give those orders?’

‘I suppose you did.’

‘Don’t you know that I did?’

‘Now, Chief,’ Joe said, ‘chuck it. I’d have sent four after Stalwart if I’d had four to send. I hadn’t four. You never told us Stalwart was a champ. We
didn’t know. You told me I was to get him scrobbled and I did what we could. If you had seen Eleven and Twelve before Seventeen dressed their wounds you might feel a little sorry for
them.’

‘Sorry? I’d have made them a little sorry. What did Stalwart do to them, two against one, too?’

‘He cracked Twelve’s crown across, a fair treat. He give Eleven an eye like a stained glass window. They’re marked for a month, the pair.’

‘And a jolly good job,’ Abner said. ‘I wish Stalwart had given them each a cauliflower ear. I wish he’d knocked their silly noses west and banged their ribs blue, and
yours, too.’

‘Now, now, Chief,’ Joe said. ‘That’s not fair. They’ve only done their duty and were badly hurt doing it.’

‘They were hurt disobeying plain orders.’

‘Chief,’ Joe said, ‘we’ll set that aside, if you don’t mind. I’ve other things to say to you now.

‘You see, Chief, while you’ve been in Tatchester, I’ve been thinking of things, and I’ve made up my mind.’

‘Oh,’ Abner said. ‘Repeat that, will you?’

‘I’ve made up my mind,’ Joe said.

‘So you made up your mind, did you?’ Abner asked.

‘Yes, Chief, I did.’

‘I didn’t know you had a mind, but I am glad to hear it. And so you’ve made it up?’

‘Yes, Chief, I have.’

‘What did you decide?’ Abner asked.

‘Tomorrow’s Christmas Day.’

‘So I hear. What about it?’

‘Christmas Day’s rather a special day. We don’t like keeping all those poor captives away from their homes on Christmas Day.’

‘
We
don’t like. Who are
we
?’

‘All the lot of us. It’s not Christmas dealing. We’ve spread a lot of misery taking these poor people, just now; fathers from children, husbands from wives, and the poor little
choirboys who’d been looking forward to hanging up their stockings. It’s more than we can bear.’

‘Well?’ Abner asked.

‘We want you to return all the captives tonight, by air, with a ten-pound note apiece, the ones we got at the bank-robbery. Then the whole thing would pass off as a rag . . . and it would
tell in our favour, if we ever come to be tried.’

‘So,’ Abner said, ‘
we
don’t like, and
we
want this and that; and a made-up mind all piping hot with mutiny. Were you thinking of getting rid of little
Abner, and then putting in for the command yourself? You, with a made-up mind, would run this brotherhood to some tune.’

‘I was thinking nothing of the sort, Chief,’ Joe said. ‘But you’re making a mistake and so we warn you.’

‘Ah,’ Abner said, ‘a mistake. Well, forewarned is forearmed. Thank you, Joe. And now, we’ll go down to see the captives.’

‘There was another thing we’ve got to speak about,’ Joe said stubbornly.

‘
Got
to speak about,’ Abner said. ‘Then speak it . . . proceed.’

‘I’ve been telling them about your magic and that,’ Joe said. ‘What we don’t see is why you don’t use magic to find this Box that you set such store
by.’

‘You’re a cricketer, aren’t you, Joe?’ Abner said, ‘a fast bowler, with a terrifying in-swerve?’

‘I suppose I can plug ’em in a bit,’ Joe said, with modest pride.

‘Sometimes I suppose even you come up against a bat who hits you all round the compass?’

‘That might happen to anyone,’ Joe said.