The Boss (43 page)

“Yes, Neil, that’s what people do! If they
don’t have as much as you do, people start to care about losing a
paltry sum like forty-thousand dollars!” I didn’t care if Emma
overheard, or Sue in the kitchen. “And if they lose their jobs,
they sometimes lose their apartments or their friends when they
can’t repay rent money.”

He pushed his hand through his hair. I had
never seen him this angry, even when we’d argued in the kitchen
that morning he’d cut his hand. “And you could prevent all of that
from happening with a phone call. If things were really bad, if you
were going to be thrown onto the street, you could come to me! But
you don’t want to admit it, because you know that if you asked me
for anything, if you asked me for a million dollars right this
instant, I would give it to you. I would do that because I love
you, and that terrifies you because you don’t want to love me!”

I felt like someone had jammed their shoulder
directly into my sternum. I thought I might have trouble breathing,
but luckily, the pain was completely emotional. “What the hell are
you talking about?”

“You do it with everyone in your life. Do you
really think Holli will kick you into the street? No, of course you
don’t really think that, but the thought makes it easier to hold
her at arm’s length rather than trust that she loves you and would
never treat you that way. When people care about you, you get
scared. It’s why you’ve never had a serious relationship before.
And you’re doing it to me now.” He looked so... wounded.

He swallowed, and his voice sounded painfully
dry when he spoke again. “You knew I would be furious with you over
something like this.”

“You
are
furious,” I pointed out. My
vision got all wavy.
No.
I was not, under any circumstances,
going to start crying.

Why? Because then he’ll see you’re
vulnerable? And he’ll know he’s someone worth crying over?

Oh god. He was right. He was completely
right.

“Yes. I’m incredibly angry with you right
now. But I’m not stupid, Sophie, and neither are you. You knew you
should have told me what was happening at
Porteras
, but you
were too afraid to admit that you might care about me more than you
care about your job!” He paused, clearly frustrated. “I love you.
If you had come to me and told me this was going on, I wouldn’t
have prevented you from leaving the company to work for Gabriella
again. I wouldn’t have liked it, but I wouldn’t have stopped you. I
trust you to do what’s right for you. You can trust me to do what’s
right for you, too.”

That made the tears start flowing.
Damnit.

He came over and took me in his arms, and I
didn’t resist him. He held me and let me cry all over his shirt
that had probably cost more than my rent. He kissed the top of my
head. “I don’t want you to go to home tonight.”

“I don’t want to go home, either.” I buried
my face against his chest and gratefully accepted the tightening of
his arm around me. “I hate fighting with you.”

“We’ll get past this. It will still be a sore
spot for me, for a while, but we will get past it. Just promise me
that you won’t let Gabriella suck you in again. You deserve better
than the way she treated you.” He paused. “Make sure you get
anything she offers in writing. Benefits, salary, bonuses - “

“Neil?” I said gently, looking up. “I’m
sorry. It’s very difficult for me not to - “ “Meddle?” I laughed
through my tears. He sighed. “I was going to say help you avoid
major mistakes.” “I don’t want to avoid major mistakes. This is my
life. I only have one chance to live it, and I’d like to be the one
in the driver’s seat. I love you. But I don’t want you to live my
life for me.”

At least he had the sense to look
remorseful.

I knew what I was going to say next before I
fully committed to saying it. I had never bared my feelings so
honestly to anyone before. But I had to. It was crucial that Neil
know how important he was to me, especially now that I had totally
fucked him over. And especially now that I knew I’d done it on
purpose to push him away.

“I want you to live my life
with
me,”
I finished, and I felt like my heart was going to leap from my
throat, I was so scared. This completely contradicted the “safe
relationship path” chart I had drawn up in my head, but I didn’t
care.

He took a breath. I couldn’t read the
emotions that crossed his face. Finally, he simply smiled and said,
“I want the same thing, Sophie.”

“Good.” That helped ease some of the sick
feeling. “I’m really sorry for not telling you.”

“I know you didn’t do it to deliberately hurt
me.” He released me and stepped back. “You did it because you were
protecting yourself. It might not seem so to you, but there is a
world of difference between the two. I’m angry and hurt, and I’m
not entirely forgiving you at this moment, but knowing why you did
it helps.”

“And I can appreciate why you fired me.” Ow,
it stung a bit to say it now. The shock was wearing off.

We sat together on the couch in silence for a
while, both of us clearly unhappy with how the day had gone, both
of us desperately wanting to make it all different, without really
knowing how.

“I have to call Rudy,” Neil said suddenly,
forcing some cheerfulness into his voice. “This may take a while.
But why don’t we go out tonight? Emma is going to be busy with
horrible Michael. You and I could go see a movie or have dinner
out. Anything from sitting around and stewing about this.”

In a strange way, it was a relief that he
wasn’t my boss anymore. Now he could just be my boyfriend, and I
could just be his girlfriend.

Even if things were strained between us at
the moment.

Of course, this meant my lunch with Gabriella
tomorrow would be life-or-death. Okay, life-or-unemployment. Same
difference.

Chapter
Twenty-One

"Look at you," Neil
said with a low whistle as I leaned close to the mirror, applying
eyeliner. "You never get this dressed up on the weekend for
me."

"Because I don't have to." I blinked a few
times. The cold sensation of the liquid at the edge of my eyelid
faded as it dried. "You like me with or without."

"That I do." He'd been leaning against the
sink, watching me, seemingly fascinated by the whole process as I
put on my makeup. I suspected he just liked watching
me
. "If
Gabriella Winters had any intelligence at all, she would appreciate
you the same way."

"Well, hopefully she'll appreciate me sans
earrings, because I didn't bring any." I frowned, and hoped I could
keep my hair from moving for the entire lunch, so she wouldn't
notice.

“I might be able to help with that.” Neil
straightened and went out of the bathroom. By the time he returned,
I'd applied my mascara. I noticed the distinctive light-blue box in
his hand. He turned it around in his palm and cautiously met my
gaze in the mirror. "This was supposed to be a Christmas gift,
but... I think it might make a better good luck charm."

Nothing on this planet would ever riddle me
with such anxiety as the sight of Neil holding a small jewelry box
with an earnest expression on his face. He lifted the lid and took
out a blue velvet drawstring bag, which he up-ended into his palm.
When two gleaming stud earrings shook out, I had to forcibly stop
my sigh of relief.

"Oh my god." I stared down at the truly
beautiful gems in their gleaming round settings. "Is that white
gold?"

"Platinum, and pink sapphires." He held them
out to me. "Do you like them?"

"They're absolutely beautiful." I took them,
feeling oddly choked up. "Neil, this is too much."

"You don't want me to tell you how to live
your life, don't tell me how to spend my money," he scolded gently,
leaning forward to kiss my cheek. "I know that you will do
beautifully today. Gabriella is a fool if she doesn't hire
you."

I admired the earrings a moment before
putting them on, and Neil continued, "Of course, I think you might
be a bit of a fool to consider working for her when I've offered to
help you find another job..."

"That's enough," I warned sweetly. After our
near nuclear fight the day before, we'd come to a truce. He
wouldn't give me unsolicited career advice, and if I got into dire
financial straits, I would remember to ask him for help before
doing anything drastic like a high interest credit card.

"I'm sorry we fought." He said quietly.
"Those... might be a bit of an apology as well."

I smiled as I fastened the back of one stud.
"I'm not sorry, actually. It was nice to have a fight with my
boyfriend, not my boss. I didn't have to hold back."

He gave me that half-smile and watched as I
put on the other earring.

Then, softer, I said, "These are beautiful.
Thank you so much."

He came to stand behind me, his arms
encircling my waist. "I love you, Sophie. No matter how we might
fight, I love you. We're having some growing pains, but I'd much
rather argue than not talk about our problems. That didn't work out
so well for me the last time."

My heart did a ridiculous little flutter. He
wanted us to work out. To what end, I didn't know, and I didn't
want to speculate. Things were moving pretty fast already.

"Is this the part where I mention the super
awesome make-up sex?" I giggled. "I want to make sure I've got my
clichés right."

"I think this is the part where you're going
to be late for your lunch, and I'm going to be late for my meeting,
if we don't behave ourselves." He gave me one last peck on the
cheek and went to his closet to dress.

The meeting he was having at
Porteras
this afternoon was an emergency one he'd arranged last night. He
was going to meet with the rest of management and discuss the
information I'd given him - and my firing. They were also planning
to uncover just who was stealing the subscriber list. A lot of the
staff had worked up from the mailroom, or assistant positions
that’d had access to the list. Ferreting out the culprit was going
to be difficult.

I put the meeting out of my mind, to focus on
my own. Neil would be out most of the afternoon, but we’d made
dinner plans. I hoped everything would be sewn up by then, so we
could get back to normal.

My phone buzzed, and I picked it up. It was a
text from Holli:
Some raccoons have moved into your room, is it
cool if they stay there?

I snorted and shot back:
I'll be home
today. BTW I got fired.

Almost immediately, she responded:
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

It would be easier to explain in person.

* * * *

Gabriella wanted to
meet at a brunch place in the Meat Packing district. It was part
French bistro, part daylight-hours nightclub. There was a line
outside the door, but when I gave my name to the runway
model-looking hostess, I was ushered right inside.

Gabriella, Jake, and Penelope sat at a corner
table in the busy dining room. Gabriella and Penelope had taken the
tall-backed booth seat against the wall, while Jake was installed
in one of the chairs on the other side. They were all well-dressed,
impeccably groomed, luxuriating in an air of their own
self-importance that was bolstered by the timid glances and
whispers at the tables around them.

They looked like fucking vampires.

"Sophie, it's so nice to see you again."
Gabriella rose from her chair and leaned over the table when I
approached, kissing the air on either side of my face. She'd never
greeted me quite so effusively. I wasn't sure she'd ever actually
greeted me, come to think of it. Her chin-length, ruby red bob
swayed like the pendulum in Poe's story as she sat back down.

"Sophie, you look good," Jake said, standing
to pull me into a hug. I went along with it, because to him, we
were still old friends. He didn't know I thought he'd become an
insufferable dick. "You look great, have you lost weight?"

"Um. No?" I smoothed the front of my jacket.
"Did you think I needed to lose weight?"

Wow, moody much?
I couldn't figure out
why, but for some reason, everything anybody said lately poked the
badger. Probably because I was so tired and stressed out.

"No, no. Just noticing," Jake said with a
frozen sort of "oh, shit," smile.

As I took my seat at the table, I realized
what my problem was. I'd been working with real people, spending
time with real people. Gabriella and Jake were just broadly drawn
caricatures of their own making. It was so sad that they couldn't
see how ridiculous it all was. It made me even sadder to think that
I'd bought into their "we're so important" clique mentality for my
entire career so far. Had I really wanted to be just like them? Did
I still?

The thought made me queasy. But then, I was
always queasy lately. I was pretty sure I was getting a stress
ulcer.

Caricatures or not, they were willing to give
me a job. So I needed to nod, smile and play along. I had spent two
years swallowing my opinion of Gabriella Winters; I could go
another ten if I had to.

"How have you been finding
Porteras,
Sophie? Be honest." Gabriella's huge blue eyes narrowed as she
waited to scrutinize my answer. There wasn't a single line on her
face, but I got the impression she was frowning.

I could be honest. I didn't work there
anymore. "Well... I was promoted to assistant beauty editor - "

"I know all this." Gabriella waved her hand.
"What I want to hear is how the magazine is doing internally."

"Oh. Well, there are some growing pains." I
knew that wasn't what she wanted to hear. She wanted me to openly
condemn the new company and give her secrets she could weaponize.
Whether I still worked for
Porteras
or not, I wasn't about
to sabotage Neil for their sakes. "I think they're going to lose
some subscribers as they continue to tinker with the format, but
they'll attract new ones, as well. There
is
a market for
cruelty-free fashion, and I’m proud that
Porteras
is going
to be on the cutting edge of that movement."