The Book of New Family Traditions (37 page)

Solstice on the Beach

Stacy Louise Christopher lives with her family near the beach in Santa Barbara, California. Every year, they celebrate winter solstice on the beach, making a labyrinth in the sand near the shoreline, lining it with tea candles. The practice of walking a labyrinth is an ancient form of meditation, and they walk slowly while contemplating the year that is winding down. Then they have a potluck picnic and possibly some surfing, before a cozy bonfire.

Red for Letting Go, Green for New Beginnings

I have wholeheartedly adopted the solstice ritual that I read about in Ode magazine in December 2005. It is simple, powerful, and easy to do with young children. To prepare, just collect some twigs from your yard or a park. They don’t have to be very thick, and about six inches is a good length (you will be snapping them in half, which will be hard if they are too small or too thick). Tie a red ribbon around one end of every twig, and a green ribbon around the other.

Editor Kim Ridley wrote that after enjoying a feast with friends, “We light a big bonfire in the backyard. Everyone gathers around it, each choosing a stick twined with red and green paper ribbon. Guests are invited to meditate silently on the solstice as a turning point, and then to think about something they want to let go of in their lives, as well as something new they want to see take root in their lives or in the world. When each person is ready, we raise our sticks above our heads. Then, in unison, we snap the sticks in half, throw the red-ribbon end into the fire, and shout ‘good-bye and good riddance’ to whatever we want to release. We keep the end wrapped with green ribbon throughout the year as a reminder of our new intention.”

If it’s not practical for you to make a bonfire, this can easily be done at a home fireplace, or even by burning the sticks (with parental supervision) in a kitchen cooking pan.

Pre-Christmas: Celebrate the Whole Month

What changed my family’s Christmas celebration most was the year I had food poisoning on Christmas morning and missed most of the fun. It finally sank in that Christmas should be a season, not a single day, and there are many positive results of that focus for kids. Putting so much weight on just one day can be crippling for kids and lead to big disappointments if it doesn’t turn out just as they (or you) had hoped it would. We started really appreciating the daily things we did for Advent, including opening up a Lego Advent calendar every day in December and sitting quietly every evening to enjoy our tree after it was decorated.

Saint Nicholas Day Craft Kits

December 6 is the day many countries celebrate Saint Nicholas, a bishop who became a saint and was said to rescue children and help the poor. Many believe he was the real person who inspired the mythical Santa Claus, and they give their children small treats and gifts on the saint’s day.

Once her kids were old enough, Teresa Schultz-Jones started the tradition that Saint Nicholas leaves craft kits for each of them, so they can make gifts for others. Teresa, who grew up with the Saint Nick tradition in Belgium, says, “This is just so much better than having all the excitement revolve around Christmas Day. Now they get very excited about what they’ll get for S. Nicholas Day, and the prospect of what gifts they can make afterward.”

Good Deed Paper Chain

Sara Tapley, a mother of six, hangs a multicolored paper chain across the bay window in her dining room, after writing the name of one family member on each link. Every morning, each person has to break a link and do a good deed for the person whose name is written there; if you get your own name, you pass it on.

Make Your Own Advent Calendar

There are hundreds of commercial versions, but it’s easy to make your own.

Materials

Felt fabric, in black, red, green, and yellow. Buy a yard of black felt, and one-half yard each of red, green, and yellow.

Scissors

Fabric marker

Fabric glue

Dowel rod about half an inch in diameter, or less, cut to a length of twenty-four inches

Instructions

The black felt is the background. Cut it to be nineteen inches wide and thirty-five inches high. Cut the pockets three inches by three inches, and cut twelve pockets of red felt and twelve pockets of green. Cut three stars out of the yellow felt, one bigger than the other two. Next, lay all the pieces on the black background. There are six rows of four pockets, and they should alternate between red and green. There should be about an inch between the pockets. Number the pockets: 1 to 24. This can be done using a black marker (get one specifically for use on textiles) or by cutting out the numbers from the yellow felt. If using felt numbers, glue them on using fabric glue. Glue the pockets (or sew if you prefer) to the background—remember to just secure three edges and leave the top open! Attach the stars in a row at the top, with the big one in the middle. To hang, roll the top inch and a half of the black felt to the back, creating a sleeve through which you can insert the dowel rod. Glue or sew the edge to the back, to secure it. The rod will stick out at both ends, and you can hang the calendar on two nails, or if you wish, tie a ribbon to both ends of the rod, and hang using the ribbon, on one nail.

The Ritual

Starting on December 1, put something special in a pocket each day: It could be a piece of candy, a Bible verse, or a small toy, or a combination of these. With small children, you can buy something like an inexpensive set of farm animals or soldiers or cars and put one thing from the set in a pocket daily: By Christmas, your kid will have a complete barnyard, or a whole army, or entire car lot.

How to Make an Advent Wreath

Advent comes from the Latin word for
coming
, and many Christians find that using the full month before Christmas to concentrate on the religious meaning of this holiday helps to counteract the materialistic messages that bombard kids.

Materials

A simple Styrofoam wreath shape from the local crafts store (a donut shape)

Plastic pine boughs or live ones from your yard

Five candles, either three purple and one pink or four purple, plus one white (though in a pinch, any color will do)

A simple holder for one candle

Instructions

Stick the purple and pink candles into the Styrofoam, roughly at what would be the “corners” of the wreath. Then stick the pine boughs in all the way around, covering the white base. Decorate further, if you wish, with red ribbon, which can also be glued in a band around the base if the white Styrofoam shows through the greens. The fourth candle, the white one, goes into the holder, which is placed on your table inside the wreath. The greens are symbolic of new life and hope, while the flames stand for the light of Christ: The closer we get to his birth, the greater the light.

The Ritual

There are different views about what each candle stands for, but one common reading is that the first week’s candle (purple) stands for hope; the second (purple) stands for love; the third (pink) stands for joy; and the fourth (purple) means peace. The fifth (white), which goes in the center and is lighted on Christmas Eve, is the Christ candle. On the first Sunday, light just the first candle: on the second light the first and the second, and so on. If you light candles each night, add a new candle on Sunday. Many families read a Bible passage after lighting candles.

Saint Nicholas Morning Surprise

Dorothy Stein icke’s kids say Saint Nicholas Day is the best part of the winter holidays. After Thanksgiving, Dorothy did a lot of secret baking when her kids were small, often after they went to bed. Then, on Saint Nicholas Eve, she and her husband would stay up late and transform the downstairs. They strung her cookies on ribbons and draped them from the ceiling, arranged other cookies inside shoes lined up in the dining room, and set the table with their best linen, crystal, and china. On the table, they placed one of those holiday candleholders that rotates and chimes after candles are lit. The kids would wake to the sound of the chimes “and come out to find magnificence,” says Dorothy. “Good silver glinting in candlelight in the winter morning darkness, festoons of cookies overhead. My children are now in high school and college, and this holiday has never lost its magic.”

The Ultimate Saint Nicholas Website

The St. Nicholas Center is a charming, well-designed website, a true labor of love created by two people who are completely bonkers for this Catholic saint. Here you will find a great wealth of information and resources, including historical background, clip art, costumes, crafts, and activities. There are features on how Saint Nicholas Day is celebrated around the globe, as well as maps showing where the bishop lived before his posthumous sainthood. There’s also an online store that stocks pretty much everything you can imagine: Saint Nicholas puppets, posters, cookie cutters, banners, buttons, screen-savers, ornaments, and napkins. You’ll find all this at StNicholasCenter.org.

Manager Rituals

The Schroeder family has sixteen characters in its nativity set, and all except baby Jesus are wrapped up before the holidays begin. Each night after dinner, the kids take turns picking one wrapped character and setting it into the manger scene. That child then gets to pick which Christmas carol the family sings that night. Baby Jesus doesn’t get put into the manger until Christmas morning, when the family sings “Happy Birthday, Jesus.” Another family sets up its wise men across the room from the nativity scene, and every day of Advent moves them slightly closer.

Christmas Box

In the Gardiner family, the two daughters each have a pretty Christmas tin reserved for them, always kept on a certain windowsill during December. Every morning, they run to their tins to see what treat they got that day: It could be candy, a Christmas poem, a puzzle, or tickets to the Nutcracker ballet.