The Book of Margery Kempe (33 page)

From London she went to Sheen, three days before Lammas Day,
¹
to obtain her pardon through the mercy of our Lord. And when she was in church at Sheen,
²
she had great devotion and very high contemplation. She had abundant tears of compunction and of compassion, in recollection of the bitter pains and passions which our merciful Lord Jesus Christ suffered in his blessed manhood. Those who saw her weep and heard her sob so violently were seized with marvelling and wonder as to what was preoccupying her soul.

A young man who watched her face and manner, moved by the Holy Ghost, went to her when he properly could, alone by himself, with a fervent desire to have some understanding of what might be the cause of her weeping. He said to her, ‘Mother, if you please, I pray you tell me the reason for your weeping, for I have not seen a person so abundant in tears as you are, and especially, I have not heard before any person so violent in sobbing as you are. And, mother, though I am young, my desire is to please my Lord Jesus Christ, and so to follow him as I can and may. And I intend by the grace of God to take the habit of this
holy order, and therefore I beg you not to be distant with me. Be so motherly and kind as to tell me your opinion, as I trust in you.'

She, benignly and meekly, with gladness of spirit, as she thought proper, commended him in his intention, and partly revealed to him that the cause of her weeping and sobbing was her great unkindness towards her maker, through which she had many times offended against his goodness. And also the great abomination that she had of her sins caused her to sob and weep. The great, excellent charity of her Redeemer too, by which, through the virtue of his suffering of the Passion and his shedding of his precious blood, she was redeemed from everlasting pain, trusting to be an heir of joy and bliss, moved her to sob and weep, and this was no cause for surprise. She spoke many good words of spiritual comfort to him, through which he was stirred to great virtue, and afterwards he ate and drank with her during the time that she was there, and was very glad to be in her company.

Lammas Day was the principal day of pardon, and, as the said creature entered the church at Sheen, she caught sight of the hermit who escorted her from Lynn when she went to the coast with her daughter-in-law, as is written before. At once, with great joy of spirit, she went over to him, welcoming him from her heart and saying to him, ‘Ah, Reynald, you are welcome! I believe our Lord sent you here, for I hope that, just as you escorted me out of Lynn, so now you shall bring me home again to Lynn.'

The hermit gave her a short look and frowned heavily, neither wishing nor intending to bring her home to Lynn as she desired. Answering very shortly, he said, ‘I'll have you know that your confessor has given you up, because you went overseas and wouldn't tell him a word about it. You took leave to bring your daughter to the coast; you asked no leave for any further. None of your friends knew what was in your mind, and therefore I suppose you will find but little friendship when you get home. I pray you, get yourself travelling companions where you can, because I got the blame for your fault when I escorted you last. I don't want any more of it.'

She spoke nicely to him, and prayed for God's love that he
would not be annoyed, because those who loved her for God before she left, would love her for God when she came home. She offered to pay his expenses on the way home. So at last he consented, and brought her back to London and then home to Lynn, to the high worship of God and to the great merit of both their souls.

When she came home to Lynn, she humbled herself obediently to her confessor. He gave her some very sharp words, because she was under his obedience and had taken such a journey upon her without his knowing. Therefore he was all the angrier with her, but our Lord helped her so that she had as good love from him and other friends afterwards as she had before – God be worshipped. Amen.

This creature, who has been written about in the preceding treatise, used for many years to begin her prayers in this manner. First, when she came to church, kneeling before the sacrament in worship of the Blessed Trinity (Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, one God and three Persons), of that glorious Virgin, Queen of Mercy, our Lady St Mary, and of the twelve apostles, she said this holy hymn, Veni creator spiritus, with all the verses belonging to it, that God should illumine her soul, as he did his apostles on Pentecost Day, and endue her with the gifts of the Holy Ghost, that she might have grace to understand his will and put it into action, and that she might have grace to withstand the temptations of her spiritual enemies, and eschew all manner of sin and wickedness.

When she had said
Veni creator spiritus
, with the verses, she said in this way: ‘The Holy Ghost I take to witness, our Lady, St Mary, the mother of God, all the holy court of heaven, and all my confessors here on earth, that, even though it were possible that I might have all knowledge and understanding of the secrets of God through the telling of any devil of hell, I would not have it.

‘And as surely as I would not know, hear, see, feel, nor understand in my soul in this life more than is the will of God that I should know, as surely God may help me in all my works, in all
my thoughts, and in all my speeches, eating and drinking, sleeping and waking.

‘As surely as it is not my will nor my intention to worship any false devil for my God, nor any false faith, nor to have any false belief, as surely I defy the devil and all his false counsel, and all that I have ever done, said or thought according to the counsel of the devil, thinking it had been the counsel of God and the inspiration of the Holy Ghost.

‘If it has not been so, God, who sees and knows the secrets of all men's hearts, have mercy on me because of it, and grant me in this life a well of tears springing plenteously, with which I may wash away my sins through your mercy and your goodness.

‘And, Lord, for your high mercy, all the tears that may increase my love towards you, and increase my merit in heaven, and help and profit my fellow Christian souls alive or dead, visit me with here on earth.

‘Good Lord, do not spare the eyes in my head any more than you did the blood in your body, which you shed plentifully for sinful man's soul, and grant me so much pain and sorrow in this world that I be not hindered from your bliss and the beholding of your glorious face when I shall pass hence.

‘As for my crying, my sobbing, and my weeping, Lord God Almighty, as surely as you know what scorn, what shame, what contempt, and what reproofs I have had because of them, and as surely as it is not in my power to weep loudly or quietly for devotion or sweetness, but only through the gift of the Holy Ghost, so surely, Lord, justify me so that all this world knows and trusts that it is your work and your gift, for the magnifying of your name, and for increasing of other men's love for you, Jesus.

‘And I pray you, Sovereign Lord Christ Jesus, that as many men may be turned by my crying and weeping as have scorned me for it or shall scorn until the world's end, and many more, if it be your will. And as regards any earthly man's love, as surely as I would have no love but God to love above all things, and love all other creatures for God and In God, so surely quench in me all fleshly lust, and in all those that I have beheld your blissful body
in. And give us your holy dread in our hearts, for your painful wounds.

‘Lord, make my confessors fear you in me and love you in me, and make all the world have more sorrow for their own sins, for the sorrow that you have given me for other men's sins. Good Jesus, make my will your will, and your will my will, that I have no will but your will alone.

‘Now, good Lord Christ Jesus, I cry you mercy for all the states that are in Holy Church, for the Pope and all his cardinals, for all archbishops and bishops, and for the whole order of priesthood, for all men and women of religion, and especially for those that are busy to save and defend the faith of Holy Church. Lord, for your mercy, bless them and grant them the victory over all their enemies, and speed them in all that they go about to do to your worship; for all that are in grace at this time, God send them perseverance until the end of their lives, and make me worthy to be partaker of their prayers, and them of mine, and each of us of the other's.

‘I cry you mercy, blissful Lord, for the King of England, and for all Christian kings, and for all lords and ladies that are in this world. God establish them in such authority that they may most please you, and be lords and ladies in heaven without end. I cry you mercy, Lord, for the rich men in this world who have your goods in their control; give them grace to spend them to your pleasure. I cry you mercy, Lord, for Jews and Saracens, and all heathen people. Good Lord, remember that there is many a saint in heaven who once was a heathen upon earth, and so you have spread your mercy to those who are on earth.

‘Lord, you say yourself that no man shall come to you without you, nor shall any man be drawn to you unless you draw him. And therefore, Lord, if there be any man who is not drawn, I pray you, draw him to you.

‘You have drawn me, Lord, and I never deserved to be drawn, but according to your great mercy you have drawn me. If all this world knew my wickedness as you do, they would marvel and wonder at the great goodness that you have shown me. I would
that all this world were worthy to thank you for me, and, as you have made unworthy creatures worthy, so make all this world worthy to thank and praise you.

‘I cry you mercy, Lord, for all false heretics and for all misbelievers, for all false tithe-payers, thieves, adulterers and all common women, and for all wicked livers. Lord, for your mercy, have mercy upon them, if it be your will, and bring them out of their misconduct the sooner for my prayers.

‘I cry you mercy, Lord, for all those who are tempted and troubled with their spiritual enemies, that you of your mercy give them grace to withstand their temptations, and deliver them from them when it is your greatest pleasure.

‘I cry you mercy, Lord, for all my confessors, that you vouchsafe to spread as much grace in their souls as I would that you did in mine.

‘I cry you mercy, Lord, for all my children, spiritual and bodily, and for all the people in this world, that you make their sins to me, by true contrition, as it were my own sins, and forgive them as I would that you forgave me.

‘I cry you mercy, Lord, for all my friends and for all my enemies, for all that are sick especially, for all lepers, for all bedridden men and women, for all who are in prison, for all creatures who in this world have spoken of me either good or ill, or shall do until the world's end. Have mercy upon them, and be as gracious to their souls as I would that you were to mine.

And those who have said anything evil about me, for your high mercy, forgive it them; and those who have spoken well, I pray you, Lord, reward them, for that is through their charity and not through my merits; for, although you allowed all this world to avenge you on me and to hate me because I have displeased you, you would do me no wrong.

‘I cry you mercy, Lord, for all the souls that are in the pains of purgatory, there awaiting your mercy and the prayers of Holy Church as surely, Lord, as they are your own chosen souls. Be as gracious to them as I would that you were to my soul if it were in the same pain that they are in.

‘Lord Christ Jesus, I thank you for all health and all wealth, for all riches and all poverty, for sickness and all scorn, for all humiliations and all wrongs, and for all divers tribulations that have befallen or shall befall me as long as I live. Highly I thank you, that you would let me suffer any pain in this world in remission of my sins and increasing of my merit in heaven.

‘As surely as I have great cause to thank you, hear my prayers. For though I had as many hearts and souls enclosed in my soul as God knew from without beginning how many should dwell in heaven without end, and as there are drops of water, fresh and salt, chips of gravel, stones small and great, grasses growing in all the earth, kernels of corn, fish, fowl, beasts, and leaves on trees when there is greatest abundance, feather of fowl or hair of beast, seeds that grow in plant, or in weed, in flower, on land, or in water when most grow, and as many as have been on earth, are, or shall and might be in your might, and as there are stars and angels in your sight, or other kinds of good that grow upon earth, and each were a soul as holy as ever was our Lady St Mary who bore Jesus our Saviour, and if it were possible that each could think and speak as great reverence and worship as ever did our Lady St Mary here on earth and now does in heaven and shall do without end, I may well think in my heart and speak it with my mouth at this time in worship of the Trinity and of all the court of heaven, to the great shame and ignominy of Satan, who fell from God's face, and of all his wicked spirits, so that all these hearts and souls could never thank God nor fully praise him, fully bless him nor fully worship him, fully love him nor fully give praise, laud and reverence to him as he were worthy to have for the great mercy that he has shown to me on earth. That I cannot do nor may not do.

‘I pray my Lady, who is alone the Mother of God, the well of grace, flower and fairest of all women that God ever made on earth, the worthiest of all to be seen and heard by God, and the highest that has deserved it in this life, benign Lady, meek Lady, charitable Lady, with all the reverence that is in heaven, and with all your holy saints, I pray you, Lady, offer thanks and praise
to the blissful Trinity for love of me, asking mercy and grace for me and for all my confessors, and perseverance until our life's end in that life we may most please God in.

‘I bless my God in my soul, and all you that are in heaven. Blessed may God be in you all, and you in God. Blessed be you, Lord, for all your mercies that you have shown to all that are in heaven and on earth. And especially, I bless you, Lord, for Mary Magdalene, for Mary of Egypt, for St Paul, and for St Augustine. And as you have shown mercy to them, so show your mercy to me and to all that ask you mercy of heart. The peace and the rest that you have bequeathed to your disciples and to your lovers, may you bequeath the same peace and rest to me on earth and in heaven without end.