The Bonding (4 page)

Laiconians are a bit frightening.
“How barbaric. That conviction should never have happened. You were the victim, not the criminal.”

Kiri grimaced. “I couldn't convince them. So, since then, I have been forbidden contact with men, forbidden any liaisons, friendships.”

Davin stopped dead.
She can't be saying…
“Do you mean to say that that…assault was your only experience with sex?”

“Yes.”

He dropped his knife to the floor and walked over to her, wrapping her in his arms. “Poor sweet girl.” She leaned into his embrace as though the endearment, inappropriate as it was for a warrior of her skill, was exactly what she needed to hear.
Maybe Kiri would like to be something other than a warrior to someone.
He risked a further comment. “Well then you're a virgin.”

She shook her head against his shoulder and mumbled into his shirt, “How can I be? He took me. There was blood.”

Davin swallowed hard, trying not to picture it, and instead presented what he hoped was a reasonable argument. “But if you weren't willing, it didn't count. No listen,” he said, seeing her lift her head, about to protest, “If someone stole your money, it would not mean that the money belonged to them. It would still belong to you. He stole your virginity, but it still belongs to you. Until you chose a man for your bed, you are a virgin, regardless of that rape.”

“Then I guess I'm going to die a virgin. How disappointing.” She made a wry face, her lips pursed.

Oh gods, what a moment. Now or never, Davin.
“You don't have to. You could sleep with me Kiri,” he whispered hotly in her ear, “I want to. I think you do too. I don't care what your people have forbidden. All I know is that I could die happy tomorrow if you make love to me tonight.”

Fear warred with longing in her beautiful green eyes. “I don't understand how you could want a scarred and broken creature like me.”

I don't understand why you'd think I wouldn't.
“Don't try to understand it. Just accept it.” His mouth sought hers again. It was getting easier to accept his kiss. This time, his tongue touched hers and she dared to move hers against it. Heat exploded between them.

* * *

Kiri, so long suffering in enslavement for a crime that should never have been prosecuted, seen as an object of shame and derision, an example of what happened when warriors abused their power, blossomed in the warmth of Davin's passion.
Here is the one person who knows my shame and doesn't shy away from me. He desires me. He believes me. I would die for this man.

And
, she decided in that moment,
I will lie with him, pain and fear be damned
.
I will take him as my lover, if only for the night
. She snaked her arms around his neck and pressed him closer to her. Her fingers twined through the shimmering silver strands of his hair, and she delighted to discover it was silky soft and smooth, not coarse or wiry. The thong binding the queue fell to the floor. His hands began to wander across her back, down, cupping her buttocks, gently kneading, pressing her to him, letting her feel the strength of his erection.

She shuddered with nerves even as her eager, greedy body shifted, letting the thickness rub against her belly.
Can I really do this? Can I really choose to share what was once taken by force?
A chill of terror ran through Kiri. Doubts crept in. I
hated sex. How can I be sure it was the violence of the act, rather than the act itself, I disliked? Maybe I'm not a passionate person.

Years of experience in battled had trained Kiri well, and she deliberately shut down her mind, immersing her senses in the moment, in the stimulation Davin provided. Pure pleasure washed away her nervous tension as she slowly melted into his embrace.

* * *

Gods, I want her. I must have lived a lifetime of suppressed desire in the few weeks I've known her
. It was as though the woman about whom he had dreamed since childhood had been made flesh before him, only to refuse his advances. His desire to have her had grown wilder with each passing day. Now, finally, in the last hours of their lives, she was giving herself to him. Davin released her mouth and stepped away. Kiri made a small sound of protest and tried to hold on to him.

“Wait a moment, love,” he urged. “I'll be right back.” He walked over to his pack and wrenched out his bedroll. Kiri made a small, inarticulate sound and he looked up from the bedroll he was smoothing on the cave floor, far from the reeking fire. Kiri was staring into the flames, watching the remains of their enemy dissolve into ash. Entranced by the lovely curve of her lower back the desire to nibble on it struck him.
Every part of a woman's body is to be savored, and this body most of all
. Approaching quietly, he sank to his knees behind her and laid his mouth on her through her blouse. Kiri jumped. Davin stood, gingerly moved her dangerous braid over her shoulder, and wrapped his arms around her narrow waist, enjoying her warmth. But even though her slender frame seemed to melt into his embrace once again, he noticed she was trembling. “What is it, Kiri?”

“I'm afraid,” she replied in a broken, unsteady voice.

Well, that's unexpected.
Or was it? After all this warrior woman, who had fought men twice her size calmly and with skill had suffered so greatly for once desiring a man. The one time she had let her guard down and been passionate, it had destroyed her life. She had suffered for almost a decade for it.
Maybe this is wrong of me. Am I being selfish?
Davin rested his chin on the top of her head.
She's littler than I would have expect of a warrior woman.
“Kiri, if you don't want to do this…I would never force you.”

“I know,” she replied, but her frame had stiffened until she stood hard and brittle as a bundle of twigs in his arms, ready to shatter at any moment.

“Then why are you afraid?” he pressed, stroking down the length of her arm and lacing his fingers through hers.

She allowed the touch, and though her hand softened in his, the rest of her remained rigid. “It hurts. And I don't like being vulnerable.”

“I won't hurt you. That pain is over. Long done.” She nodded, but relaxed not one iota.
Gods, this is difficult.
“Listen, Kiri, when sex is forced, it's bound to be painful, especially if it's the first time. I won't rape you. If you let me, we'll make love, and it won't hurt. I can make you feel amazing. I want that for you. But if you tell me no, we stop now, and it's over.”

She trembled and the sharp breath she drew in through her nose sounded like a sniffle. “I don't know what to do.”

“I'll teach you, if you'll let me, but the decision has to be yours.” He splayed his hand across her belly, stroking the taut muscle with his thumb as he leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

“I don't like being afraid,” she replied, and the comment proved too oblique for him to interpret.
Is that a yes or an idle statement?

“I know, but the solution to fear is knowledge. And we'll be vulnerable together love. I have no magic here to hold you, and you could kill me with your bare hands, couldn't you?”

* * *

Kiri didn't reply to his quip. Instead, she turned slightly and looked at him over her shoulder. He pressed a tender kiss to her upturned lips. The touch of his mouth turned her immediately to jelly, unable to resist, barely able to stand.
Gods
, Kiri thought, dazed,
if we only had more time, I could marry this man. I'm in love with him already
. Taking him by the hand, she led him to the bedroll, and stood beside it, awkward, still nervous, but feigning willingness.

Come on, woman. You're a warrior, not a mouse. You've stared down the point of a sword and a spear, held shields against arrows, guarded witches sending deadly bolts of magic. Don't be afraid to take a lover. It's your right to share your body, and you want to do it.
Strange how when he touched her, she was able to accept it, but the moment he let go, resistance rose.

He drew her close again, pressing her ear to his heart. She listened to the rhythmic pounding for a moment.
Just a man, a person, like me. Not a monster. Not a best
. And he wanted her. And she wanted him. She didn't know what to do, but she did want to learn,
and most of all I don't want to be afraid anymore
.

Slowly, giving Kiri plenty of time to stop him, Davin loosened her braid, letting the spiked block drop to the cave floor, unwrapped her blouse and dropped it as well. She stood, passive, wanting to help him and to stop him. He untied the drawstring of her trousers and let the garment fall. Nude, Kiri sat down on the blanket while Davin undressed himself. He had a fair collection of his own scars snaking around his back, torso, and arms, she noticed.
Another warrior, only with a different weapon.
In some ways, the sight of his injuries made her feel more at ease. When he dropped his own trousers to the floor and sat down beside her, Kiri looked away. She was not ready to deal with
that
part of him yet.

“Davin,” she said in a small voice.

“Yes love?” He trailed his fingertips up and down her arm.

“Will you kiss me again? That way I won't have to think so much.”

“Of course. Come here.” She turned her face to his and accepted his lips gratefully. Although the kiss didn't completely destroy her fears this time, it did dull them.
Gods, his mouth feels wonderful, clinging to mine sweetly, with fiery promise in the background.
Shyly, she ran one hand over his naked shoulder, feeling the textures of silky smooth skin, coarse male body hair, and scar tissue. Gently he tugged her towards him until she was straddling his lap. He made no attempt to penetrate her, but he simply let her feel his sex against her mound. Her small upright breasts mashed against his chest as he deepened the kiss, the nipples disappearing into his chest hair. His warmth rendered her relaxed and pliable in his arms. His searching hands explored the curve of her back, before sliding up between them to cradle one tender breast.

“So tiny and sweet,” he murmured against her lips, teasing her nipple.

A horrible thought occurred to Kiri. “When you kiss me, can you feel the scars on my lips?”

“Yes love,” he replied. “I can feel them. They're beautiful. They remind me of how strong and brave you are.”

Kiri wanted to cry, and she had not cried in years, not since her conviction. Instead, she rewarded his kind words with a bold caress, her hand sliding down his body to trail teasingly through his pubic hair before tentatively touching his sex.

Davin groaned in acute pleasure, but guided her hand away. “If you do, I won't be able to continue. I'm having a hard time controlling myself.”

This pleased Kiri tremendously. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him deeply, driving her tongue into his mouth. Davin growled, falling back onto the blanket with Kiri still on top of him. Her thighs fell to the sides of his, and her womanhood pressed against him. The prickling hairs against her most sensitive places brought her up short. Davin must have noticed her sudden nervousness because he rolled them both onto their sides, still locked in a passionate embrace, and wormed one hand between them, running his fingers through the moisture he had discovered. She gasped at the unexpected intimacy. If there was going to be any pain, it would begin now.

But Kiri didn't know she was in the hands of a master. Davin's feathered lightly on her tender flesh. Her sex was weeping with desire, and he stroked at her entrance before dragginer her moisture across all the folds and creases between her thighs. His slick finger sought through the folds until he found an exquisitely sensitive spot, which he gently circled and caressed. Kiri fell onto her back, her thighs parting naturally, allowing Davin greater access to her, no longer needing to force herself. She felt a strong, almost painful sensation building, building.
Gods, this is phenomenal
. She squirmed and arched her back, trying to find exactly the perfect spot. Davin seemed able to read her movements and homed in until each circling of his fingertips tightened her down further into a dizzy haze of pleasure. She closed her eyes against the powerful sensation, finding herself poised on the brink of ecstasy.

Then without warning, he abandoned the aching bud, and she almost wept in disappointment. He wasn't finished though. The finger returned to the entrance to her body and pressed deep, in gentle imitation of the consummation to come. His thumb returned to the spot he had been stimulating and she made a small grateful sound as his intimate exploration continued. It only took a moment before the pleasure gathered and burst. Shudders ran through the arches of her feet, her nipples tingled, and her passage squeezed down hard on Davin's encroaching finger. All thought, all emotion fled in the wake of ecstasy the likes of which she'd never imagined. A loud cry of pleasure tore itself from her lips as she ground herself against his hand, never wanting the moment to end.

* * *

Davin watched with pride as the orgasm ripple through her.
I had hoped I could get her there. She's so responsive, much more than I expected.
In the face of her fear, of her terrible memories, Kiri's pleasure had to be one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. Her dark hair seemed almost black in the firelight, and little patches of color reflected from the walls onto the pale skin of her naked body. Her eyes squeezed shut, but her lips parted, her hips squirming involuntarily.

As the shudders subsided, Davin whispered against her ear, “You don't look like a warrior now, love. You look like a young maiden all undone, waiting for her first lover to come inside her.”

“I am,” she gasped.

“I suppose you are,” he replied, “And you're going to let me come inside you, aren't you, Kiri, in here.” His finger flexed inside her, and she shuddered once. “With this.” He guided her hand to his straining erection.

“Yes, Davin, I want you.” He could hear from her shattered, eager voice that it was true.

He rolled onto her, between her thighs. “Bring me to you.”