The Body in the Boot: The first 'Mac' Maguire mystery (25 page)

Pauline was quiet and reflective for a time.

‘I think she probably was, thinking about it now. Perhaps we did need to forget for a while. I know it’s all in the past but what you’ve said makes me feel much better somehow. We knew what a busy life you had, we thought you’d forgotten all about us.’

‘What happened to you after the inquest?’ Mac asked, hungry for the details.

‘We were both placed in the children’s home and it was okay. It wasn’t one of those places you keep hearing about in the news with the abuse and all. It was good for us, a safe place. It was where Georgy learnt how to cut hair after all. He didn’t mean to, he was just following a girl he fancied at the time who was taking hairdressing classes, but then he found he was really good at it. It’s also where I met my Mick.’

‘Tell me about Mick.’

Pauline smiled.

‘My lump of a husband? He’s the best thing that ever happened to me but I didn’t realise that at first. He was already in the home when Georgy and I arrived and he took it on himself to show me around and kind of look after me. We really hit it off but just as good friends, I used to call him ‘my big brother’ sometimes to tease him. He was a year older than me, an abused kid too, but there was a centre to him that I didn’t have. He knew what he was going to do with his life. He was going to complete his apprenticeship and get a job and then, once he knew enough, start up his own business and be his own boss. Me, I was a mess, I hadn’t a clue who I was or what I wanted in life. When I left the home I had a room in a shared house and got a job stacking shelves in a supermarket. I didn’t care about anything those days and, if I’m honest, I went a bit wild. I’d go out and get totally pissed at the drop of a hat and sometimes when I woke the day after with a blinding hangover there would be Mick with tea and toast.’

Her smile broadened at the memory.

‘Then one day I seemed to see him differently, perhaps it was the hangover, but it was like I was seeing him clearly for the first time. Here was a young, good looking man with prospects in life and I wondered what was he was doing with a waste of space like me. I plucked up my courage and asked him. 

Mick simply said, ‘Because I love you.’

I was shocked, I mean really shocked. When you know you’re unlovable and then someone says they love you, and you know they mean it, your whole world turns upside down. My world turned upside down at that moment and in the best possible way. Mick and me started dating, I mean really dating, dressing up, going out to restaurants, flowers and chocolates, the whole thing. I was still in some sort of a daze when one night I asked him to stay.’

Pauline pulled a face and Mac could see the little girl again.

‘I was scared stiff. I’d always avoided any intimacy, after what had happened, but I took a chance. I’m so glad I did, it was lovely, not fireworks and all that, but lovely and safe and warm. I told Mick I loved him too that night and not long after we got married. I had no dreams of my own so I borrowed his. I learnt accountancy and business management and between the two of us we’ve built up a business that employs over fifty people but his greatest gift was giving me the optimism to have children. I’ve got two now and they’ve made us complete.’

‘So life’s turned out good for you. I prayed it would.’

‘I still have the nightmares and get a bit down at times but you’re right it has turned out better than I could have ever hoped. You know what helps though when I’m having the bad dreams?’

Mac shook his head.

‘I remember you, when we were at the police station and I woke up in the night. Your voice was so soothing and when you said we were safe I believed you, it still helps me now. When I have a bad dream I picture your face.’

Mac was really touched. Picturing the two of them on the little put up bed he suddenly remembered.

‘What about Georgy? What happened with him and Laura?’ Mac asked, amazed that he hadn’t asked earlier.

‘Well Laura did exactly as you suggested and confronted Georgy. He rang me and said it was time we talked. It’s funny, that’s all he said but I knew exactly what he meant. I’ve told Mick about everything that’s happened to me and I’ve even told some of my clients. I’m a counsellor in my spare time and mostly work with people who’ve been abused when they were kids but some bereavement counselling too. I tell them so they know I’m not just some middle class do-gooder, I’ve been there and I know what it’s like. Strange thing is that me and Georgy had never talked about it, not once. We’ve skirted around it many times but we’ve never talked properly. Isn’t that strange?’

‘Perhaps you were just trying to protect each other,’ Mac suggested.

‘Yes I think you’re right, I think we were both scared of somehow bringing it all back for the other one. Anyway we had to talk about it now. Georgy and Laura came over and we told her all about it, every detail. We were all in bits, crying and that, and I’ll be honest it was much more painful than I thought it could ever be. After telling her all about his childhood I think Georgy half expected Laura to walk out but she didn’t, she clung to him and let him know how much she cared.  When we’d all calmed down she asked why Georgy hadn’t told her about this before. He said that he was ashamed of his past and was afraid that if she found out she might think less of him. I think she understood how hard it had been to talk about it when she realised that this was the first time that we’d talked to each other about it in over sixteen years and we were brother and sister. So then Georgy tells her that what he wants is what me and Mick have, a proper house, kids and a proper life together, a life with her. She told us about her life then. About the mother she loved who died young and the father who totally ignored her and about her living virtually alone in that big house.’

She gave Mac a sad smile.

‘It was clear that she was terrified of being lonely again. I realised then that she felt she was unlovable too, just like I had, and that was why she was so quick to assume that there must be another woman. For all her money it turned out that she was just another abused kid too. Anyway Laura then asked Georgy if he was sure he really wanted kids. When he said he did and she told him that his first one was already on the way, well we all went to bits again but in a really nice way. Mick got out a couple of bottles of wine. Laura only had half a glass of course but the rest of us made up for her. It turned out to be a really good night in the end.’

‘I’m so relieved. I was really worried that my coming on the scene might cause some upset,’ Mac said.

‘Luckily both Georgy and me are in a good place now. I’ve learnt through the counselling that you can’t forget the bad stuff forever. At some point you have to remember, to look it straight in the face or else it festers. It was the right time for us.’

There was a sound of a key at the door.

‘Watch out, here they come,’ Pauline said.

Mac heard the raised voices of two young boys before he saw them.

‘You pushed me…’

‘No, I didn’t it was your fault, you fell...’

‘No I didn’t...’

‘Yes you did…’

The two boys dressed in Judo outfits stopped in mid-stream when they saw Mac. They looked over at their mother with a question on their faces.

‘You can have your milk and cookies upstairs and only one hour on the X Box and then in the bath. Your dad will be back in a couple of hours and we’re going out for tea this evening. Before you go I want you to introduce yourselves to an old friend of mine, Mr. Maguire. Politely now both of you.’

The younger of the two stepped forward.

‘Hello, my name’s Michael and I’m eight.’

‘Oi, you!’ the other one protested. ‘I’m older I should go first.’

‘Calm down,’ Pauline said, ‘and introduce yourself nicely.’

‘Hello, my name’s Dennis and I’m ten, well nearly ten.’

She ruffled their hair and gave them both a hug.

‘Okay, upstairs both of you,’ she ordered.

Mac had a question on his face as the children raced off.

‘Yes we named him after you. We couldn’t exactly call him ‘Mac’ now could we?’

He somehow kept it together until he heard the door upstairs slam and then he had no choice but to let it all go. She’d called her son after him. It punched a big hole in the dam of his emotions and they all came flooding out. He burst into huge, racking sobs and Pauline held him until it subsided. She gave him some towel roll to dry his tears.

‘I’m so sorry, so sorry. I’m just a stupid old fool.’

‘No you’re not, you’re just human like the rest of us that’s all. Tell me is that the first time you’ve cried since your wife died?’

He nodded.

‘It’s not right is it, when you can’t cry for someone you’ve spent your whole life with?’

‘I’d say it was absolutely normal.’

‘Really?’ he said surprised.

‘Sometimes grief runs too deeply for tears. Has it been bad for you since your wife died?’

‘I haven’t known who or where I was a lot of the time and the pain of losing her was so great, much greater than anything physical I’ve ever felt.’

‘It’s the price we pay for having loved. How many good years did you have together?’

‘Just over thirty. Amazing isn’t it, that someone could stand me for thirty years. I met her when I was twenty and I’d just joined the police. I remember I went along with a friend to a youth club, under protest as I thought I was too old for all that, but my friend was interested in a girl who went there and so I went along. I saw Nora the minute I walked in the room and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I was a bit shy in those days and no good at all with the chat up and all that. But that evening I went straight over to her and we talked and it was so easy to talk to her. We arranged to meet again but I knew from the first moment I saw her that she was the one. Luckily she felt the same and only six months later we married.’

It was Mac’s turn to give a sad smile.

‘We lived in Birmingham at the time but six years later I got the chance of a job at the Met and I was so desperate to work in the London Murder Squad. Nora was happy to move but I found out then that she’d always had this dream of living in the country. We’d been trying for a baby for some time with no luck and she was convinced that living in the country would help in some way. So we looked and looked for somewhere to live outside London but anything we liked was too expensive on a detective’s salary. Then one lucky day we drove to Letchworth and Nora loved it immediately. I could tell from her face as we drove around that this was the place she’d dreamed about. We tried the council and went on the waiting list for a while. We were living in a pokey little flat near Paddington Green at the time which Nora absolutely hated. Anyway she kept plugging away at the council and eventually we got an offer. I remember she was so excited as we drove out to look at the house. It was only a couple of minutes walk from the countryside but, if I’m honest, I was a bit disappointed at the time. It was one of those post-war pre-fabs and it needed a bit of doing up. It did have its good points though, it was all on one level and it was much bigger inside than I’d have thought but Nora didn’t care about any of that, she only had eyes for the back garden. It was huge with a massive lawn, fruit trees and hedges. Like the house it needed looking after but Nora fell in love with it instantly. I agreed to move there with the idea that we’d find something nicer later on but we never did. We did up the house and I must admit I was quite surprised at how nice it turned out. ‘Nora’s shed’ we used to call it. Nora worked on her garden and made it beautiful. Nora had been right and within a year we had our little addition, my daughter Bridget. Then later, when I broached the subject of moving, Nora made it clear to me that the only way she’d leave that house was in a box. Unfortunately for me she was right about that too.’

Mac paused as the emotion welled up once again. Pauline gave his hand a little squeeze

‘Sorry where was I? Yes, anyway we’d been talking for ages about me taking some serious time off and going on a cruise. I’d even made the time to go to a travel agency and I was going to surprise her with the brochures but that night the surprises were all hers. I knew there was something wrong the minute I saw her face. She sat me down and handed me a letter, it was from our local hospital. The word ‘malignant’ jumped out and punched me in the stomach. I didn’t know how happy I’d been until I read that letter. She lasted less than three months. Everyone said that she’d have only been in pain but it was too quick for me, I’d have given my life for another half an hour with her. Anyway I’d been suffering from back pain for a couple of years but now it got much worse, I just didn’t have the resources to fight it any more. I couldn’t keep it a secret and soon after returning to duty they made me have a medical and that was the end of my police career. The MRI scan showed damage to my lower spine and they told me and my daughter Bridget that it was most likely secondary bone cancer. Poor Bridget was so upset. They said I might only have three months left too. So I started sorting out the insurances and stuff like that. At least Bridget would get enough from the police insurance to put towards a house and so I was resigned. Then I had a CT scan, to pinpoint exactly where the cancer was, but they couldn’t find anything. I remember Bridget was so happy, she wasn’t going to be an orphan after all.’

‘And what about you?’