The Body Doesn't Lie (13 page)

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

—Søren Kierkegaard

W
hen I was a young girl, my mother counseled me to start every morning by looking in the mirror. “Take a good look at yourself, Vicky. Look at how beautiful you are. See the things you love. And also see the things you’d like to change,” she’d say. “Now, make a plan to change them.”

In order to get back into Positive Feedback, you must understand all the aspects of your health and your environment that are putting stress on your body. Once you have a full understanding of these factors, you can move into the Release phase and start to let them go.

The main task of your Reflect time is to become mindful—to truly
feel
your pain—because pain is the message, the teacher. Pain tells you where you need to focus. Your goal during reflection is to increase awareness, become rooted in your body once again. Many people in pain do everything they can to get out of their body—to get away from that pain.
You
are going to face it; now, during the Reflect week, you’re going to deliberately set aside time to be brave, pull back the curtain of denial, and take a good look at everything you’re doing in and to your body—and your mind.

The only way you can move forward is if you see and experience and acknowledge the pain—only then can you release it. The following are exercises and techniques that let you step back, look at your life, and give you the whole picture.

The foundation of the Positive Feedback program consists of two daily practices:

• Get seven to eight hours of quality sleep
  
• Carry out the Morning Glory ritual
  

These practices will help put you in a new mind-set. In fact, if you’re like most of my patients who shortchange themselves on sleep and self-care, I promise that if you do just these two things, your life will radically improve in just a few days.

Sleep is the most regenerative, restorative, automatic biological process humans experience—so why on earth do we skimp? Many people pretend they can get by on five or six hours a night, but nothing could be further from the truth. We need at least seven hours of solid sleep a night in order to stay out of sleep deficit.

Chronic sleep deprivation leads to horrible consequences: memory loss (and eventual brain damage), excess pounds, increased insulin, increased hunger and stress hormone levels, increased blood pressure, and decreased immunity. Without enough high-quality sleep, your body doesn’t have time to rest and regenerate; as a result, your tissues age literally overnight.

On the upside, improving sleep may nudge you out of Negative Feedback all by itself: A study of patients with chronic sleep deficits found that just one month of improved sleep significantly reduced their levels of tumor necrosis factor and C-reactive protein, both markers for systemic inflammation.
¹
Recent research from the University of Rochester found that our brains have a so-called glymphatic system—a drainage system akin to our lymphatic system, organized by neurons called glial cells, that helps the brain release toxins during sleep. These scientists found that while we sleep, this glymphatic system is ten times more active than when we are awake, and the pathways in our brain expand by a staggering
60 percent
, allowing our cerebrospinal fluid to wash away the brain’s amyloid plaques that are believed to cause Alzheimer’s. The restorative quality of sleep may be the result of this enhanced removal of potentially neurotoxic wastes that accumulate in our nervous system during our waking hours.
²
I believe this is the same mechanism that makes cranial sacral therapy such a powerful healing modality—I swear my patients look ten years younger afterward! And this research shows you have access to this powerful anti-aging mechanism in your own bed, every single night.

I want you to vigilantly protect your sleep as you would that of your own baby or youngster. You would never prevent a tired child from sleeping, after all. (In fact, a mother would probably do just about anything to make sure her child got the recommended ten to twelve hours—if only to stave off whining the next day!)

Some self-care strategies take work to implement. Sleep isn’t one of them. I know you already sleep like a champ at least sometimes! All I’m asking is for you to surrender a little more easily, a little earlier, and a little more deeply. Sleep should
not
be seen as a luxury. And, really, what are you doing that’s more important? Checking social media? Head-bobbing your way through Jimmy Kimmel?

Stress, emotional upset, and physical aches and pains all can lead to sleep struggles. Whether you have sleep issues or not, I urge you to try a few of these tips that I share with my patients to ensure a deep, restful seven to eight hours of sleep:

• Drink lots of water during the day, but stop three hours before bed to avoid getting up to use the toilet. Then drink one cup of caffeine-free chamomile tea about an hour before lights out.
  
• Turn off the heat at night and leave the window very slightly open. Normally, your body cools down at night and warms up again as a signal for awakening. Insomnia can be caused by internal heat or inflammation.
  
• If you don’t get to bed on time, try to sleep in as long as you can! (But don’t make a habit of it—shoot to get to bed by ten, but certainly before midnight, at the latest.) And definitely schedule a power nap—no more than twenty-five minutes, or you’ll fall into deep sleep and disrupt your sleep for the coming night.
  
• If you find that you enjoy the Tibetan Rites in your Morning Glory routine, consider adding them to your evening routine as well, either after work, just before dinner, or before bath time. Similarly, a ten- to fifteen-minute meditation works as a sleep aid: My patients who practice evening meditation for two weeks or so generally start forgetting to take their sleeping pills.
  
• Take a relaxing bath with Epsom salts and add some drops of frankincense or sandalwood oil to the water. Light candles and/or incense and make a peaceful, calming environment where you can clear your mind, let go of negative thoughts and stress, reflect on your day, and forgive and be grateful.
  
• Leave all electronics out of the bedroom—no iPads or iPhones, please. Your charging station should be elsewhere in the house, such as the bathroom or kitchen. One exception: the Jawbone UP, or similar device, can help you track your hours of sleep (see Resources for information).
  
• If you’ve had long-standing insomnia, get a jump on a couple of dietary changes. (If you sleep reasonably well already, simply follow the dietary suggestions noted in the “Positive Function” section later in this chapter; you’ll make more radical dietary changes in the Release stage.) Avoid eating sugar, spices, and especially spicy food at night, as the heat from spice may wake you up between 3:00 and 5:00
  A
  .
  M
  . No diet soda, either. And eat a light dinner. No heavy meals of beef or lamb; if you must have meat, try just a light, easy-to-digest fish meal. My patients who eat salad for dinner find that they have improved sleep. If you go that route, be sure to add olive oil, lemon, and walnuts—but no balsamic vinegar (high in sugar).
  
• Drink no more than one coffee after breakfast and, if you must, one last coffee after lunch, but before three thirty at the latest (organic coffee only).
  
• If you’re
  really
  having trouble sleeping, try Valerian root capsules (
  Valeriana officinalis
  combined with
  Humulus lupulus
  , or hops fruit). Follow package instructions for recommended dosages, and take the medication thirty minutes before sleep.
  

Truly the best sleep aids I’ve found? Laugh a lot, relax, and have sex—these are keys to longevity
and
sleep.

I do this ritual every single morning to get grounded and ready for my day. If your system has been chaotic and out of alignment, if you’ve been out of your body, so to speak, if your mind has been clouded, or if it’s simply been a while since you’ve truly felt in touch with yourself inside your skin, this routine is just the thing to bring you back into the positive. Several studies have found that rituals themselves—regardless of what they are or the purpose they serve!—help you feel more in control and in the moment; and this effect endures even when you’re at your most depressed.
³

The Morning Glory ritual is actually a mini-version of the entire program: You reflect, release, and radiate, all within twenty to thirty minutes (depending on where you are in the program). Do this basic routine every single morning. (During the next two stages of the Positive Feedback program, you will intensify the experience with subtle adjustments that help to deepen the Release and Radiate aspects of the ritual.)

Before your first Morning Glory ritual, find (or clear) a space in your house that’s just for you—a comfortable, clean, quiet area where you can do your meditation and light exercises. Have handy a yoga mat or blanket or towel (or even something special like a sarong from a tropical voyage) that you can lie on. Consider turning part of this area into a small altar with candles or incense, a healthy plant (for extra oxygen), a photograph of someone you love, and perhaps some beautiful fabrics and cushions or rose quartz (a symbol of love and protection). Make this sacred space warm and lovely. You will return to it every day for your Morning Glory ritual, as well as for the positive affirmation and meditation breaks you take throughout your day. (Please note that this space can be portable: You can take your sarong and rose quartz with you, for example, and use them to recreate the space in any break room, locker room, or hotel room.) The key is to make all the elements you use feel and look beautiful—to help reflect your own beauty back to you.

Reflect-Week Morning Glory Ritual at a Glance

Make time for the Morning Glory ritual by waking up twenty minutes earlier than you have been—before work or before your kids are awake—so you can find some
me
time and not mummy/work/crazy time. Set your alarm to chime a bell or other tone that’s not jarring. If you live in a semiprivate neighborhood, consider leaving your shades open to allow the sun’s light to wake you. (Your body’s whole circadian clock can be realigned by waking to natural light.) Ideally, you’ll get to a place where your body doesn’t need an alarm to wake up.

Go to the kitchen and start your day with a glass of lukewarm filtered water with the juice of half a lemon. Lemon is a marvel. It helps flush out toxins in the gastrointestinal tract, helps strengthen the immune system, contains cortisol-lowering vitamin C, and contains enzymes that support the regeneration of the liver, our main detoxifying and fat-burning organ. Drink the entire glass as you look out the window at the dawn of a new day. Say quietly or silently,

I am grateful for this day. I am grateful for my life, my body, my family, my love [whomever you love]. I am eager to see what my day holds.

Go to your quiet space and do the five Tibetan Rites of Rejuvenation exercises to clear your mind. This method is powerful enough to wake up your circulation, yet gentle enough to help you slowly regain fitness if you’re in pain.

Thanks to my mother’s wonderful influence, I’ve been doing this series of exercises since I was a little girl. The Tibetan Rites are a sequence of five poses believed to be several thousand years old that have been called “a fountain of youth.” First introduced to the West in 1939 in a quirky book called
The Eye of Revelation
by Peter Kelder, the Tibetan Rites are being embraced more and more as a rejuvenating, simple, portable, cost-free exercise program that can keep your chakras open (Kelder called them “vortexes”), your circulation flowing, your balance fine-tuned, and your muscles fit and strong until well into your golden years. (You’ll notice, in figures 4 through 8, that several of the poses are very similar to yoga!) Please note: Throughout each of the exercises, please breathe only through your nose with your mouth closed. “Pump” your breath through your nostrils. If you’re doing it correctly, your breath will be loud—don’t be embarrassed! This is the way it should sound. The sound of your breath will also help your concentration.

No matter where I am in the world, I do this sequence every single day, without fail; it is my touchstone, my center. Sometimes, when I need an extra boost, I’ll even do it twice a day. I do twenty-one repetitions of each pose, which the original text stated was the optimum number. Start slow, with increments of three repetitions, and work up to twenty-one. In between each exercise, lie on the floor, and take three deep breaths, in and out through your nose.

The Five Tibetan Rites of Rejuvenation Exercises