The Boarding House (40 page)

Just like that, the air went out of the room. Aaron reached for the wall to steady himself as a wave of despair rolled through him. “No
 . . .
God, no.”

“Only Ellie came back.”

And just as quickly, oxygen returned. “What do you mean?”

“You’ll see.”

“I’m on my way there now.”

“She won’t talk to you, but that’s okay. Later she will remember you cared enough to come.”

Aaron walked out of the room with Charlie at his heels. “Is that true, Doc?”

“I’m about to find out.”

“They’re dead. They’re all dead,” she cried, then threw herself backward and began to scream.

The first thing Ellie heard
when she came to was the silence. She didn’t know how long she’d been out, only that she’d been drugged. She recognized the feeling and the taste in her mouth from meds she’d been given at Mind and Body.

She lay without moving—trying to figure out what had happened—what was different. It took her a few moments to realize the crying baby was gone.

She put her hands over her ears, then took them off, then put them over her ears again, testing to see if the quiet was real. And it was.

She couldn’t believe it.

It had taken nearly a year for it to happen, but the crying had finally stopped. So her inner child wasn’t sad anymore, but she wished she could say the same for herself. Without Wyatt and Cinnamon, she was horribly alone. The true state of her life was like a knife to the heart. How did one live without joy? How could
she
find the courage to move forward?

I rejoice in your peace.

And just like that, the panic that threatened her receded, leaving a message in its wake. As long as she kept God in her life, she would never be completely alone.

God is forever.

She took a deep breath and then let it out while holding on to the wash of solace.

“I won’t forget that again.”

Memphis—July

Ellie had been packed
since before breakfast, although the car that would be taking her home wasn’t due to arrive for another hour. She was, in the words of Nurse Jolly, who had never quite forgiven her for taking the scissors, a success story in spite of herself.

Dr. Moira Ferris had given up trying to understand the link between Luther and Ellie—mostly because Luther refused to cooperate and Ellie couldn’t explain it.

Dr. Tyler felt somewhat like a parent watching a child leaving home for the first time. He didn’t know if she was completely ready, but it was time to let her fly.

He glanced at the clock, then shut down his laptop and headed for her room to wish her well and tell her good-bye. He was almost out the door when he remembered something and ran back to get it.

Ellie hadn’t worn a dress
in more than a year, but she was grateful to Doris for having the foresight to send it to her. It was the little dress with the cap sleeves and the tulip skirt that she’d worn the night she graduated high school. It felt right, since leaving here was, in a way, another graduation. And it was pink, which was for Ellie the color of joy, and this was a joyous occasion.

She eyed herself in the bathroom mirror, feathering her funky new haircut and then used up the last of her lipstick.

“Just in time,” she said, and tossed the empty tube in the trash.

It was exciting to know she would, once again, be making her own decisions, buying her own food, stocking her own home with the necessities of life, although it was daunting to be doing it alone. Just as she was stepping into her white sandals, there was a knock at her door. She walked out of the bathroom as Dr. Tyler peeked in the door.

Aaron stopped in the doorway, stunned by the sight of her, then he smiled. “Ellie. You look beautiful.”

“Thank you. I’m excited.”

“I can imagine. Are you nervous about anything?’

“No. I spoke to Doris a couple of days ago. She was our housekeeper and a really nice lady. She packed my clothes at the house, and saw to getting my car serviced. I needed a new battery and an oil change
 . . .
stuff like that. She also found the keepsakes I’d asked for and boxed them up. The rest will be sold with Daddy’s car and the house, but the lawyer is dealing with all that. All I have to do is load my things in the car and wave good-bye to Memphis from the rearview mirror. I think Doris is a little glad I’m leaving so she won’t have to actually quit. I doubt she could have taken much more of me. Truthfully, I am stunned by how loyal she stayed to the family, putting up with Momma’s prayers and Daddy and me, although to be fair, she didn’t know about Daddy.”

Ellie paused, the corner of her mouth turning up just enough to prove she was happy. “She once said that living with me was like working in a boarding house. There were too many people. Daddy upped her pay and she stayed on.”

Aaron listened to her rattle, just like Cinnamon used to do, but he knew it was Ellie. He couldn’t help watching for signs of panic, or the telltale picking of hangnails that was a sure sign she was keeping something back, but he saw none of it. “Do you have your finances in order?”

She nodded. “I don’t suppose you knew it, but I inherited everything when Momma died. Daddy still had a job at Strobel Investments, but the business, house and property were mine. The irony was he didn’t know Momma had changed her will until he’d killed her. She’d done it after she found out about what he’d done to me. There is an executor until I turn twenty-one. I’ll be fine.”

“Good.” One more worry checked off his list of concerns. “Do you know where you’re going?”

“Waco, Texas.”

He didn’t bother to hide his surprise. “Waco? What’s in Waco?”

“Baylor University. It’s a private Christian-based university. I think it will suit me.”

“Ah
 . . .
and I think you’re right. But I wouldn’t feel like I’d done my duty without warning you it’s going to be hard and sometimes dangerous for a young girl like you, living on your own.”

The minute he said it, he got one of those, I-can’t-believe-you-just-said-that looks for which she was famous. Then when she laughed, he knew he’d somehow put his foot in it again.

“I’m sorry for laughing, Dr. Tyler, but that has to be one of the dumbest things you’ve ever said to me. My past was not sheltered. I spent thirteen years in school without a single friend and managed to graduate with a 4.0. I went home to a mother who talked to God more than she talked to me, and a father who made my life a living hell. I killed a person to save myself. After all that, living alone will be a breeze. Ellie Wayne was naïve, but Ellie Strobel is not. Stop worrying.”

“You’re right, but you’re still going to need therapy. I will find a good doctor for you in Waco. Will you promise to go see him?”

“I guess, although I don’t feel like I need any more help.”

Aaron knew that wasn’t the case. There would be days when the world crashed around her, and days when she felt too alone. She was going to have to learn how to make friends. She’d never had a real friend in her entire life. This was a skill children learned in kindergarten, although by that time, Ellie hadn’t needed a friend, she’d needed a savior. And when He hadn’t come, she hadn’t bothered to look elsewhere.

“What if Wyatt comes back, or Cin? You’ll need someone to talk to. Trust me on this, will you?”

She looked at him as if he’d lost his mind. “What do you mean, if Wyatt comes back? They’re dead. I think you’ve been with these crazy people too long. Sometimes the things you say make me think
you’re
the one who needs a shrink.”

And once again, Aaron was left with no way to answer. Just like she’d believed them real, she now knew they were dead. In a way, he could see the wisdom in leaving well enough alone, but as a doctor, he didn’t dare.

“I still want you to promise me you’ll maintain a regular relationship with your doctor. Even if it’s no more than once a week, or once a month, or whatever makes the both of you happy.”

She shrugged. “I can live with that.”

He started to shake her hand, then remembered she didn’t like to be touched. To his surprise, Ellie extended her hand instead. He took it.

“Thank you for everything you did for me.”

“You’re very welcome. Don’t forget to write in your journal. When it’s filled up, begin another one and remember, the more you give away
 . . .
”

Ellie finished it. “. . . the less of a burden you have to carry. I won’t forget.”

“Best of luck then, and if you need me, you know how to get in touch. Oh. I almost forgot.” He took a video tape from the inner pocket of his jacket. “I thought you might like this. It’s the one of you and your mother when you were a tiny baby.”

Ellie beamed. “Thank you. Thank you so much. Yes, I definitely want it.”

He waved and then left her at the door. Ellie popped the video into her suitcase as she glanced at the clock. Still forty minutes before the car came to get her. She had one more person she needed to see, and she wanted to do it without company. She closed her eyes and sent out one last message.

I’m leaving. Please come to the window. I want to say good-bye.

The common room would be empty at this time of morning. She hurried down the hall and then slipped inside. Her footsteps sounded doubly loud in the empty space, but she kept on walking toward the window. It was the perfect time and place for one last visit here with God, as well.

Hi God, it’s me, Ellie. As You can see, I’m leaving today. The next time I talk to You I will probably be in Texas. I’m going to college there. I wanted You to know that I don’t have any hard feelings toward You anymore. One of these days I’ll say another prayer, but not until I figure out how to do it better. I guess that’s all for now. Talk to You later.