The Boarding House (28 page)

He walked away without an answer.

Cinnamon sat back down and then looked at the television and groaned. The show was over and she’d missed the big reveal of the day.

“Dang it.” She relinquished the remote and was on her way out when one of the doctors came hurrying toward her.

“Ellie, my name is Doctor Moira Ferris. I need to ask you a quick question.”

Cinnamon stopped. She’d seen her in the hall with Doctor Tyler before but didn’t remember her name. “I’m not Ellie, I’m Cinnamon.”

“Oh. Sorry. I wanted to ask you something about that man you were talking to.”

“You mean that old tall guy?”

“Yes. What did he say to you?”

“He wanted to talk to Ellie. I told him she doesn’t like coming here, but he kept pushing the issue, so I said I’d tell her. Between you and me, I don’t think she’ll come.”

“Did he say why he wanted to talk to her?”

“Nope. Just said for me to tell her he had been listening, whatever the heck that means, and that he’d be back in here tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” Moira said, and then hurried away.

Cinnamon thought nothing of the moment and by the time she got to their room, had forgotten it.

Ellie was lying on the bed with her eyes closed, but Cinnamon knew she wasn’t asleep. She could see her eyelashes fluttering. “Hey Ellie, stop pretending you’re asleep and sit up.”

Ellie frowned, but pushed herself up to a sitting position. “What?”

“There was a man in the common room who asked you to come see him tomorrow.”

“What kind of a man?”

“A really tall man.”

“Was he a doctor?”

“No—maybe—I don’t know. He was dressed all in white, but didn’t have a name tag on his shirt.”

“Well, I don’t want to talk to him.”

“That’s not fair. He wasn’t acting all weird or anything. I wouldn’t have said anything if I thought he would hurt you. He was just really big and quiet.”

Ellie frowned. “You know I don’t like to go to that room. What did you tell him?”

“I said I’d give you the message, that’s all.”

“What’s his name?”

“I don’t know. Are you going?”

“Why would I go?” Ellie asked.

Cin shrugged. “You’re not doing anything else. Why not?”

Ellie sighed. It was difficult to argue with her logic.

Cin added. “Oh, one other thing. He said to tell you he’s been listening.”

“Listening
 . . .
listening to what? What does that mean?”

“You’ll have to ask him yourself.”

Ellie’s stomach rolled. She was tired of making decisions.

“I’ll think about it. Where’s Wyatt? He has an appointment with Dr. Tyler in ten minutes.”

Cin sat down beside Ellie. “Why don’t you go, too? Dr. Tyler is nice enough. He doesn’t get mad or ask stupid questions. He’s just trying to help all of us.”

Ellie frowned. “The only help I need is for God to let me die, but I’m not talking to Him anymore.”

Cin’s eyes filled with tears. “You make me so sad.”

“Why?”

“I know how to be happy. If I was out of here tomorrow I’d know what to do. I would be ecstatic just being alive.”

Ellie started to shake. “That’s not fair. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You want my life? I wish I could give it to you.”

“You still don’t get it,” Cin said. “One of these days I’m going to disappear. The doctor will integrate us and that will be that.”

Ellie frowned. “What do you mean, disappear and integrate what?”

“Ellie, Ellie, you know the answer. You just don’t want to face it.”

There was a knot in Ellie’s stomach as she rolled off the bed and started pacing back and forth in front of the window. “Stop talking in riddles. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Cinnamon wanted to shake her. Ellie’s refusal was typical. If it was scary, pretend it didn’t exist.

“You would know what I was talking about if you’d show up for your therapy sessions instead of hiding in the corner like a coward and making one of us go in your place. We’re not real, Ellie. We’re people you made up in your mind to compensate for a lack of stability in your real life.”

Bile rose in the back of Ellie’s throat as she backed into a corner. “You lie,” she whispered.

“No, honey, I don’t. Remember when I told you that I knew I wouldn’t live long . . . that I wouldn’t grow old? That’s because I knew one day you’d have to let us go. Doctor Tyler calls it integrating. He means we all go back into you, but we’ll take each of our strengths with us, and when we’re all together you’ll be strong enough to face the world on your own.”

Ellie started to sob. “You lie, you lie. Sophie is real. And Wyatt is my twin. We’ve been together forever. He’s the other half of my soul. I can’t live in the world without Wyatt.”

“Then you better start liking this place, because as long as you keep talking to people who aren’t real, they’ll never let you leave.”

“Get out!” Ellie screamed. “Get out! Get out! Get out!” She threw herself back down on the bed and pulled the pillow over her head.

Cinnamon left, but what she’d said stayed behind. Ellie was horrified and saddened and scared—so scared. How could any of that be true? As little children, she and Wyatt had slept together—played together—shared meals and gone to school together. She refused to consider anything Cinnamon had said as true. She was just jealous because she wasn’t real family.

Her anxiety increased as she glanced at the clock. The aide would be here any minute to take Wyatt to therapy and he was nowhere to be seen. If he didn’t show up, Dr. Tyler would be unhappy and the repercussions would probably roll over onto all of them.

Irked that he was putting her into such a spot, she got up from the bed and washed her face and combed her hair. She’d have to go and hopefully explain Wyatt’s absence away. This was all such a waste of time.

Aaron Tyler’s pulse kicked
into gear as he glanced at the clock.
Almost time for another session with Ellie Wayne
, then he amended the thought. In the three weeks she’d been here, he hadn’t talked to Ellie more than a couple of times. He’d broached the subject with Wyatt, who came occasionally and remained noncommittal each time. He would talk about his experiences, but never gave anything about Ellie away. It was apparent that Wyatt was the guardian and would not be talking Ellie into anything she didn’t want to do.

Sophie came to therapy on a regular basis. She liked having a therapist and talked incessantly, but rarely about anything that was helpful to him. It was apparent that Ellie had created Sophie based on her perceptions of her mother. Fern hadn’t known what was going on with her husband and Ellie, and neither had Sophie.

Cinnamon was interesting. She obviously represented everything Ellie wanted to be. She didn’t take crap from people and spoke up for herself and for Ellie. She’d told him that if Ellie ever showed up, to offer her a Hershey bar. He had a handful in the drawer, but had yet to unwrap one.

But Ellie was still the enigma. As he was making last-minute notes, there was a knock at his door and then it opened.

One of the aides escorted Ellie into the office. “Ellie is here for her session.” He gave Ellie’s shoulder a quick pat. “I’ll take you back to your room when you’re done.”

When Aaron saw Ellie pull away from the contact, his heart skipped a beat. Cinnamon liked the aide. Sophie often held his hand. Wyatt talked to the aide more than he talked to Aaron, but Ellie didn’t like to be touched.

Hot damn
.

“Come in,” Aaron said.

Ellie walked in, but didn’t sit. She eyed the doctor, noting his very kind brown eyes and long, slender face. “I’m very sorry. Wyatt wouldn’t come. I don’t know where he is.”

“That’s alright, Ellie. I appreciate you coming to let me know.”

Relieved that Wyatt wasn’t in trouble, she began to relax.

“Have a seat,” Aaron said. He took a Hershey bar from the drawer and laid it on the desk in front of her. “Do you like chocolate?”

Ellie’s mouth watered. She hadn’t had a Hershey bar in such a long time.

“Yes, thank you,” she said, tore into the paper and broke off the first square.

Aaron stifled a smile.
Thank you, Cin.
“You’re welcome.” He sat down and took one for himself then mirrored her actions, breaking off a square and putting it on his tongue.

“Umm,” Ellie said, and then frowned and absently rubbed at the frown between her eyebrows.

“Headache?” Aaron asked.

Ellie nodded. “It’s that baby.” She broke off another piece of chocolate and placed it on her tongue as precisely as a priest with a communion wafer. “It just never hushes. I don’t know anything about kids, but I don’t think they cry all the time. Do you have children?”

“No, I’m not married, but I have nieces and nephews. You’re right. They aren’t supposed to cry all the time.”

Ellie nodded. “That’s what I figured.” She licked chocolate off the end of her finger then laid the candy bar in her lap so she wouldn’t eat it too fast. She wanted to make it last.

“When did you begin hearing the baby cry?” Aaron asked.

“A day or so after the abortion. It’s the ghost of the baby I killed.”

Aaron kept watching her expressions and keying in on the tone of her voice as she talked. She didn’t seem the least bit remorseful about the abortion.

“You’re sure?”

She shrugged. “What else could it be? I had an abortion and then start hearing a baby cry. It’s just God reminding me that I sinned. I’m gonna be haunted until I die.”

She looked down in her lap and broke off another square.

Aaron’s eyes widened. She was religious? This was something he hadn’t known about Ellie Wayne. “Do you belong to a church?”

“Yes. Preacher Ray was a good preacher.”

“Did you go often?”

“Daddy took me every Sunday. I liked it the most when the choir sang. Music in church soaks into your skin. We always sat in the same pew so I could sit in the colors.”

Aaron was excited about what she was saying. He made a quick note and then took another bite of chocolate, as well.

“You sat in the colors? How do you do that?”

“It was where the sunlight came through the Jesus window. If I sat in the right place, all the colors spilled onto my chest and in my lap.”

“Why did you like to sit in the colors?”

“They were from the Jesus window. You know that part of the Bible where Jesus says,
suffer the little children to come unto Me?
That window had Jesus sitting in a garden with little kids all around Him. There was even one sitting in His lap. I liked to sit in the colors because I thought He could hear me praying better.”

Ellie’s head was buzzing, but she put another piece of chocolate in her mouth and it almost stopped.

“What did you pray about?” Aaron asked.

“I prayed for Daddy to leave me alone but it never happened. Not even after I got my period. I don’t pray to God anymore.”

“Why not?”

Ellie’s hands began to shake. She took two squares at once and put them in her mouth.

“He wouldn’t listen. I got tired of praying for things that never happened. The last time was when I prayed I wouldn’t be pregnant, but I was. I told God then we were done. I haven’t talked to Him since.”