The Blue Falcon (32 page)

It was not often that the hall was crowded with people. There were no grand dinners or parties at Stoddard, and visitors were few, mostly travelers who could find no other lodging for the night. The town had no inn.

The door to the keep opened, and the wind from without blustered into the hall. Conan stood brushing the snow from his mantle, a froth of white glistening on his beard. He threw off the cloak and a servant snatched it up to lay it before the hearth to dry. Edwina approached him immediately.

“
The first thing we must do in the spring to assure these people the use of their homes through the winter is to rebuild much of this burgh. None of these folk could survi
ve the night in this storm. There,
child, there,” she said, pointing to a lad lying before the hearth on a straw pallet,
“
he is nearly frozen. Why did they wait for so long to come to the hall?”

Conan smiled with affection as his wife spoke. Her concern for the people of the town warmed his heart.

“
The hall is more theirs than mine,” he said.
“
I have told them in time of trouble they are welcome here.”

“
I would have you send some men into the village before nightfall to be certain there are no others who should be here.”

“
Very well, madam,” he returned, his eyes shining.

“
Conan, you must be cold,” she said, pulling on his arm.
“
I’ve kept you here
talking when you should be warm
ing yourself. Come.”

The moment he stood before the fire, she went to kneel beside the youngster and put a hand to his brow. She spoke quietly to his mother and then rose to some other chore. Conan watched her as she moved about the hall, taking a cup to one and talking to another. The storm would not last long, there was no cause to fear. But he gained much pleasure in seeing his wife show such concern for the people. Conan was just beginning to see what had been missing here while Edwina kept residence at Anselm.

When the day became darker and evening was upon them, Edwina sank to a chair before the fire and held a mug of hot wine to her lips. In her slightly rounding tummy there was a fluttering and churning. A smile came to her lips.
The child was strong,
she told herself. It moved early, and it must be a son. She had not felt well in the early days of pregnancy, but that had passed and been replaced by the first faint move
ments. His thrusts and kicks became stronger with each passing day. This time, she assured herself, she would carry the child easily.

“
You are tired from your labors, madam,” her husband said.

“
Aye, Conan. It has been a long day.”

He knelt beside her and brushed a wisp of her blond hair back from her brow. She took his hand in hers and guided it to the obtrusion that was his child, and he felt the movements there.

“
All through the day the child was still,” she told him.
“
And the moment I can rest he begins his antics. This will be a lively son, mark my word.”

“
You have made me proud, Edwina. I would not have thought you capable of doing all that you have.”

She laughed lightly and brought his hand to her lips, placing a soft kiss in the palm. She looked at him with a
s
parkle in her eyes that he had not seen before.
“
I would not have thought it myself, my lord. I am only lately finding joy in rest well earned. The burdens of this hall have become a blessing.” She smiled at him and said softly,
“
I have never known such happiness, my lord.”

“
You have indeed earned your rest. Come now and let us find our bed. You must take care of my son: that is your first duty.”

The night was too frightfully cold to dally with nighttime grooming rituals. Edwina let her hair fall down from her tightly coiled braids and untangled it with her fingers. She quickly donned a heavy muslin sleeping gown with long sleeves and climbed into bed. She snuggled close to Conan for warmth, and he received her gratefully.

He was more patient with her than she could ever remem
ber. Though he had always been kind and tolerant, in the last two months he seemed to show her more affection than ever before. He stayed close by her side and complimented her every effort sincerely. The extra pounds the pregnancy brought somehow found her face, usually long and thin, and it became rounder and more healthy looking. And she found such relief in being here in her own home rather than managing in Udele’s home. She laughed more often and found great joy in pleasing Conan. She felt, finally, that she was of some real value to him.

As she lay in bed beside her husband, his arm encircling her and her head resting on his shoulder, she felt the security of love.
When my son is born,
she thought just before drifting off to sleep,
my husband will teach him honor and strength. And I shall teach him love.

The storm left a cover of crisp snow in its wake and the dreary skies of winter prevailed. The people of Stoddard were able to labor out of doors once again, and all were busy preparing for the celebration of Christmas. Breads were baked and ale was brewed. It was a time of great community, and if the people had been indifferent in their feelings toward their lord and lady before, now they were steadfast in their respect and appreciation because of the generosity shown during the early winter storm.

The roundness of Lady Edwina’s belly brought the women ever to her side to give her aid, and all noticed that her smile
w
as quick and her eyes aglow
with the wonder of a mother-to-
be. And Sir Conan showed in his manner a contentment that his people had not previously seen. A man who had long been beset with nervous energy and a quick pace, he had seemed to learn the art of relaxing. He no longer sought to work late into the night, but retired early to a bedchamber where warmth welcomed him and brought him rest.

Sir Conan received by messenger a letter telling him that his mother and sister were coming to give what aid they could to Edwina during the Christmas celebrating. Sir Mallory had left just after King Richard early in December, and Edythe, being at loose ends and missing her husband, wished to be with them during this gay season.

“
‘Conan, you must write them and tell them I do not need any help. I am managing very well,” Edwina said tremulous
ly. The thought of Udele’s coming caused her insides to churn in apprehension.

Conan laughed lightly and touched her cheek.
“
She do
es not come so much to help, che
rie, but to assess our situation. She does not have a high opinion of Stoddard.”

“
I don’t believe she would come if you were not here,” Edwina said.

“
Indeed not,” he laughed.
“
She loves nothing so much as thinking she manages my life. And for as long as I live, I imagine that she will be ever near with her advice.”

“
And this does not bother you?” she asked.

“
Her interference has more than once upset the normal routine,” he said with a shrug.
“
If it gives her pleasure, I can bear the burden.”

But I cannot,
Edwina thought in near despair.
“
I do not manage quite as well when Lady Udele is near,” she sighed.
“
I do not think she likes me.”

“
Nonsense,” he r
eplied.
“
She would not come to see that you are well if she did not like you.”

“
But that is not why she comes,” Edwina blurted.

Conan looked at her in confusion for a moment while Edwina stammered and twisted her hands, not knowing what to say. It had been a very long time since he had seen his wife act thus. He raised a suspicious brow as he queried,
“
Why, then?”

“
She has not always been kind to me, Conan,” she said haltingly.

He folded his arms across his chest and waited for some
thing more.

“
She has said cruel things to me because of my frequent illnesses, yet it was she who insisted I be put to bed most often
--
especially when you were near. She chided me for not giving you a child, yet became angry when we again shared a bed. And then she questioned me every morning about our most private moments. Conan, when you were near enough to hear, she was kind to me, but when you were away she was cruel. She hates me. I cannot please h
er well or ill, no matter how ..
.
”

He was quiet for a moment as Edwina’s complaints dwin
dled low and she finally ceased.

“
Are you certain it is not larger in your mind?” he asked.

“
Oh, nay, Conan. Edythe has often witnessed her hostile manner with me.”

“
And why have you never told me of this problem before?”

“
Oh, Conan, I know you love her. And truly, she has always treated you with so much fondness and devotion that I feared”
--
she hung her head and her next words came very softly
--
”I feared you would not believe me.”

He lifted her chin with a finger.
“
You have never lied to me. Why would I not believe what you tell me now?”

“
Because you have never seen your mother as anything less than a great lady,” she said sadly.
“
And she is a great lady
--
in her hall, with her family. It just seems that I cannot win her favor.”

He smiled.
“
She plays her role very well,” he said easily.
“
But I have seen her push her authority too far and I am aware of my mother’s less desirable traits.”

“
Will you ask her not to come?” she asked meekly.

He kissed her cheek tenderly.
“
Nay, I cannot. She would be badly offended and my father would question my manners. But you are lady here, Edwina. And madam will treat you well or she will be escorted home.”

“
Will you stay in the hall?” she asked.

“
As often as I possibly can,” he promised.

The first few days that Udele and Edythe were present were easily passed. Then quite suddenly there was a strange occurrence. Edwina had felt slightly ill while going about her chores and took a moment to sit and rest. The ill feeling persisted and she felt hot and flushed. She thought to move
f
rom the fire and stand before the door to let the cold draft cool her face, but before she reached the door she fainted.

Conan carried his wife to their chamber and stood at her beside while a cool damp rag was being fetched. There was no fever and Edwina was quickly revived.

Conan questioned her anxiously.
“
Are you ill?”

“
I think not,” she sighed.
“
I feel fine now.”

“
You will stay the rest of the day in bed,” he ordered.
“
I will be assured of your good health before you are allowed up.”

He stayed with her while her women undressed her to help her into her sleeping gown. There were red stains on her shift and kirtle. A feeling of fear and horror swept over them both.

“
It will not be so,” she whispered with determination that was impossible to ignore.
“
The child will not be lost! If I have to lie in this bed until Eastertide, the child will be born!”

At Edwina’s insistence, the Christmas feast went on in her absence. She kept cautiously to her bed, though she was feeling quite well. The child moved within her, and those reassuring flutters kept her spirits high. There was a small amount of bleeding, but she felt no pain. She was determined she would not miscarry again.

“
It is good that I am here,” Lady Udele said.
“
Sometimes a mother knows when her children have need of her.”

“
I will trust you to treat Edwina with the utmost care,” Conan advised his mother sternly.
“
Say nothing that will upset her in any way, and do not even suggest the child might come too early.”

Through the twelve days, Edwina kept mostly to her bed. Conan on occasion carried her to the dining hall to take a meal so that she might be in the company of the other castle folk. In spite of the unhappy circumstances, Edwina was marvelously bright.

“
I am well,” she insisted.
“
My mother was plagued with difficulty in bearing children and was often put to bed. It is worth the bother.”

“
Your mother delivered no sons,” Udele remarked.