The Blood-stained Belt (9 page)

‘Not when I’m
with you.’

Dana sighed and
said softly, 'Keirine is not a place for people who dream of being
clouds.'

'No? How do you
mean?'

Dana didn't
reply for a while. She sat up, arms clasped around her legs,
looking out over the valley. Then she inclined her head towards
Koraina and said almost angrily, 'Oh, out here a person can dream
of clouds and drifting over islands -- and you can dream of
whatever you want to be. But back there -- huh!'

'Back there?
You mean --?'

'Yes, in
Koraina, especially there. What do they care about dreams and
possibilities?'

‘They dream
about making Keirine safe and secure. Isn't that worth
something?'

‘Huh! You dream
about that! Oh, don’t be so – so naive, so – so idealistic -- there
aren’t a lot of people like you – especially back there.’

‘But for the
good of Keirine –‘

'Keirine! What
is Keirine? I ask you, what is it?'

'It's our home,
Dana, it’s our home -- that's what it is.'

'Yes. You're
right. It's our home. But for some people it's just one big forage
bin – a bin ten times bigger – no, twenty or thirty times bigger
than anything they've ever got near before.'

'Forage bin?
What are you talking about?'

'Oh, Jina, you
don't live in the palace like I do. You don't see them snarling at
each other like hungry dogs getting their noses to a food bowl. You
don’t see them shoving each other out of the way, bowing and
smiling even while they're planning who next to stick their knives
into. You don’t see them crawling on their bellies to Vaxili in the
hope of getting a bigger seat to put their fat bottoms into. You
don't see any of that.'

'Who are you
referring to?'

'Who? The
Orifinrians, of course – Vaxili's friends and hangers-on! Who
else?' Dana snorted contemptuously and tossed her head. 'Oh, it's
easy to talk about Keirine being a home for all of us like they do
when they’re talking to the rest of us – but it’s just hollow
words. I’m telling you, it’s just hollow words! When you've seen
what I've seen, you'll realise that it's a home where just a few
people are going to live in mansions while most people are going to
live in shacks on the outskirts of town the same as always.'

I didn't know
how to reply. I was silenced by the vehemence in her voice and by
the picture that she painted. Dana looked at me knowingly, smiled,
and trailed a hand lightly across my forehead. Then she lay back
and said pensively, 'The clouds ask the questions. But they don't
give the answers.'

'Maybe there
aren't any answers!'

Dana put a hand
on my shoulder and gently pulled me downwards. She murmured, 'There
are questions and there are answers. It's up to us to hear the
questions and to find the answers. Sometimes we just have to watch
the clouds and be patient.' She took my hand, murmuring, 'Lie down
again, Jina. Let's watch the clouds some more.'

After a few
minutes of silence, Dana said slowly, 'Every day I hear more
questions. Sometimes I think I'm moving towards some of the answers
and sometimes I think it's hopeless.' She shrugged.

'What sorts of
questions?'

'Oh, I don't
know. They come and go. But mostly I think, Is this really all that
there is to life? Violence and sharpening swords, plotting the
destruction of the Dornites, squeezing the life out of anything
that doesn't fit with their four-walled, small-minded pattern of
the once-and-to-be Kingdom of Keirine, jostling to get near the
forage bin – is that all there is?' Dana squeezed my hand and asked
gently, 'Don't you sometimes feel the same, Jina?'

Did I, Jina,
soldier of Keirine, feel the same? I knew what I should say. In
fact, I almost said it. But then, from an impulse deep inside me, I
spoke the truth. I said, 'Yes. Sometimes.'

Dana sighed,
settled back, closed her eyes, and said nothing. Then, after a long
silence, she said, 'I love the clouds for asking the questions.
Every day, I think, Thank you for the questions, because I know
that I'm alive as long as I'm hearing them. I think, Some day I'll
find the answers. In the meantime, I want to keep walking the road,
following the clouds.' She squeezed my hand and said, 'I talk a
lot, don't I?'

I squeezed her
hand in return and said nothing.

We lay there
holding hands, sometimes dozing, sometimes watching the clouds as
they asked the questions and took the answers with them to the far
horizons. Then Dana propped herself up onto her elbows and looked
out across the valley. From my reclining position, I gazed up at
her. The shape of her breasts against the pull of her tunic, her
neck arched backwards, her hair flowing freely – the lightning
flickered again under my skin, my blood thumped, and my throat
contracted. I took a deep, deep breath.

Dana looked at
me sidelong. Her eyes were serious but she was smiling
mischievously. She got to her feet, smoothed down her tunic, and
said, 'I guess it’s time to go.’

I put an urgent
hand on her arm and said, ‘No. Stay here a bit longer.’

‘Oh?’

‘Yes. I want to
look at you some more.’ I was surprised at my own forwardness.

‘Oh? Some
more?’

‘Yes. I want to
touch you.’

Dana tossed
back her hair and put her hands on her hips. She said, ‘I told you,
Jina, good things come to those who wait.’

I cried in real
frustration, ‘I don’t want to wait.’

‘You’ll have
to.’ She stretched out her hand. ‘Come on, be a good boy. It’s time
to go.’

As we walked
along the road towards the town, Dana asked, ‘Do you know Sharma
well?’

‘Sharma? Yes,
of course. He’s been my friend ever since we were at school
together.’

‘Is he a good
friend?’

‘He's my best
friend.’ Warning beacons flickered and I asked, ‘Why do you want to
know?’

‘Oh, nothing. I
was just asking.’ I looked at Dana suspiciously but she ducked her
head. She let go of my hand and we walked in silence until we
turned a corner in the road and saw the town in front of us. Then
Dana stopped, faced me, and said, ‘The fact is, I know someone who
wants to meet Sharma.’

I flared with
suspicion and jealousy. I wanted to ask, Are you the one who wants
to meet Sharma? Did you get to know me just so that you could meet
Sharma? The thought was so crude and visceral that it shocked me.
But I couldn't drive it from my mind. Dana must have seen what I
was thinking because she dropped her head and stood there
awkwardly. I fought down the insidious thoughts and asked, ‘Who
wants to meet Sharma?’

Dana said, ‘I
can’t tell you.’

‘Man or
woman?’

‘A woman.’

‘So you want me
to arrange a meeting with this mysterious lady
I-can’t-tell-you-her-name – just like that, sight unseen?’

Dana shifted
uncomfortably and said, ‘Yes.’ Then she looked straight at me and
said, ‘It’s not for me, Jina. It’s for my friend. It really
is.’

‘Oh, yes? Is
that so? Just so secret – and so sudden?’

‘It’s the
truth, Jina. And the matter only came up later, after I met
you.’

‘Oh, yes?’

‘Yes. It’s the
truth. I’m telling you the truth, believe me.’

We walked
towards the town. Dana took my hand but when I showed no response
she let go of it. When we came to the place where our ways parted,
Dana stretched up to kiss me but I turned my head away. She said
angrily, ‘Jina! Don’t be like that!’

I shook my head
and walked away. The freshness of the day had faded away.

CHAPTER SIX:
AMBITION?

Torn between
desire and jealousy, in the days that followed I kept away from
Dana. I couldn't get rid of the suspicion that Dana had hooked me
only as a means of arranging a meeting with Sharma. Also, I was
jealous of Sharma. I imagined how he would sweep into Dana’s
affections if she met him. He’d be all over her in no time while
she … damn it, I hated myself for thinking these things as much as
I hated the thought that they might be true.

Four days later
I went to the temple, having decided that, Dana or no Dana, I’d
better stay in Zabrazal’s good books. Although I sat at the back of
the congregation and tried to make a quick escape after the
service, Dana anticipated my move. She left early by a side door
and was waiting for me when I emerged from the main entrance. She
rushed up to me, asking, ‘Jina! How are you?’

‘Oh, I’m all
right, I guess.’

Dana was
wearing a bronze band across her forehead with earrings, a belt,
and shoes of the same colour. Her floor-length robe was of a silky
material that made me want to caress the shape that was enhanced by
its soft folds. Dana looked at me with her ever-luminous eyes and I
felt my resolve weakening. It weakened even more when she stretched
up and kissed me on my lips. In fact, it weakened so much that I
almost capitulated entirely. However, I just managed to get a hold
of myself before the point of no return. I pushed Dana away,
averted my face, and mumbled, ‘I don’t think that we should see
each other any more.’

‘But why
not?’

‘Oh, you know,
I just don’t think it’s a good idea. I mean, I have to concentrate
on my training and – well, as I said, I don’t think it’s a good
idea.’

Dana put her
hands on her hips, faced me squarely, and said, ‘You’re jealous,
aren’t you?’

‘Jealous!
Me?’

‘Yes, you!’

I mumbled, ‘No,
I’m not.’

Dana clicked
her tongue and said, ‘Jina, can you truthfully say that you don’t
like me?’ She looked at me closely, sniffed in disbelief, and
clicked her tongue again. ‘You see, you can’t say it!’

'I can.'

'Well, then,
say it! Come on, Jina, let me hear you say it.' Of course, Dana was
right. I couldn't say it. Dana said more gently, 'That’s what I
mean. That’s why I say that you’re jealous.’

She was driving
me into a corner and I didn’t know how to get out of it. I
muttered, ‘Look, Dana, if I say that we shouldn’t see each other
again – I mean, isn’t that enough to --?’

‘No, it’s not
enough for anything. I don’t believe you!’ She laid a hand on my
cheek and said softly, ‘Jina, don’t be jealous.’

My resolve
began to crumble. I muttered, ‘Well, you know, maybe I did
over--react.’

‘Oh, Jina, you
did!’ Dana stroked my cheek and murmured, ‘There’s nothing to be
jealous about.’

I mumbled,
‘That’s good.’ Dana eyes were moist. I said, 'I’m sorry – you know
– if I upset you –’

Dana snuggled
her head against my shoulder, wiped her eyes, and said, ‘It’s about
Sharma, isn’t it?’ I nodded. She said, ‘I told you the truth. A
friend wants to meet Sharma. That’s the truth, really it is. But if
it makes you jealous then let’s forget about it.’

‘I’m
sorry.’

‘That’s all
right. Just forget about it.’

‘Well, maybe I
could arrange it.’

‘No, let’s just
forget about it. It’s not worth getting upset about.’

By now, my
resolve had weakened so much that the crumbled remnants had been
swept out of sight on a flood of returning emotions. I kissed Dana.
Her lips were moist and soft and as they moved against mine, the
lightning began to flicker again along the unguarded ridges of my
body. I pushed her away gently and took a deep breath. Holding her
at arm’s length, I asked, ‘Who wants to meet Sharma?’

Dana moved away
from me and inclined her head, looking at me appraisingly. She
asked, ‘Do you promise that you won’t tell?’ I nodded. Dana said
insistently, ‘Do you promise by the wrath of Zabrazal?’

‘I
promise.’

‘By the wrath
of Zabrazal? Say it.’

‘All right, if
you insist.’ I pressed both hands to my heart. ‘I promise by the
wrath of Zabrazal that I won't reveal the name of this person. May
Zabrazal damn me forever if I violate this oath.’

Dana put a
finger across her lips, stretched upward, and whispered,
‘Mecolo.’

‘What? Mecolo!
Vaxili's daughter?' Dana nodded. I asked incredulously, ' Vaxili's
daughter wants to meet Sharma?’

Dana looked
around and said quietly, ‘Yes, Mecolo. That’s right.’

I whistled and
stood back to consider the situation. Vaxili’s daughter! Whoa! It
was no wonder that Dana wasn’t shouting the news from the rooftops.
I looked at her, in a final check that she wasn’t playing a poor
practical joke on me. Dana just looked back at me with those great
luminous eyes – the eyes that always promised to let you into the
secret that they held, and promised all the more, the more you
looked into them. Yes, she was serious. I asked, ‘How does Mecolo
know Sharma?’

‘She doesn’t
know him, silly! If she did, why would she want to meet him?’

‘All right,
then, what does she know about him?’

Dana said, ‘She
saw Sharma in the temple.’

‘Oh, she saw
Sharma in the temple and she decided that she wanted to meet him,
just like that?’

‘Why not? I saw
you in the temple, didn’t I?’

The logic was
irrefutable. I said weakly, ‘But the king’s daughter …’

‘Oh, it’s
typical of Mecolo – she knows what she wants and she goes straight
for it.’

I took a step
backwards, giving myself time to think about the matter. The more I
thought, the less I liked the idea. I said, ‘I don’t know. It could
be –‘

‘Now, Jina,
don’t get cold feet.’ Dana pressed herself against me, rubbing her
forehead against my chin. ‘Think of what it could mean to you.’ She
moved her body against mine, soft and pliable, her arms clasped
around me. A whole summer month’s worth of lightning flickered and
flashed through me again while the thunder rumbled through my ears
and my temples. I tried to fight the storm down and mumbled
dry-lipped, ‘I don’t know. I just don’t know.’

Still pressed
against me, Dana said softly, ‘Think what it could mean to you,
Jina.’