The Black Opal (22 page)

I was amazed, but when I thought of it, I wondered why I should have been. Perhaps Gertie was right when she said I had been absorbed in my own life. Joe was such a steady friend. There was no doubt of his

love for Elsie. I thought how amused Toby would have been by the situation, and 1 found myself smiling for the first time for months. Elsie put her arms round me and hugged me.

“You’ve got to break away from it, too,” she said. And after that I began to think seriously about going home.

I had broken out of that depression in which I had been living for so long, and Gertie carried me along on her enthusiasm. It would be some little time before we could go and Elsie thought we should leave in the New Year. Then we should reach England when spring was on the way, which would be a very good time to arrive.

There was much correspondence with Aunt Beatrice, who lived with her husband. Uncle Harold, in a Kensington square. Gertie remembered staying there.

“It’s what they call a family house,” she explained.

“When they married they thought they’d have a big family. They were still hoping when we left. They were very upset about our going. James and I often stayed with them and they looked forward to having children in the house.”

“Do you think they will want me?”

“Of course! And if you don’t like it, you can go somewhere else. You don’t have to worry about money and all that.”

“It seems very convenient.”

“Convenient! It’s perfect. You’ll love Aunt Bee.”

“I hope she likes me.”

“She will. That’s if you come out of mourning. Nobody will like you if you stick to that. You’ve got to remember there are other people in the world.”

There was no doubt that Gertie was good for me.

The Formans were a little sad at the prospect of Genie’s going. I had an idea that her roots were so firmly set in England that she might not want to come back. Moreover, James would be leaving home for the opal grounds very i77

soon, for it seemed that the property was in good order now and he could go with a good conscience.

I saw James frequently. He was not very pleased about my going.

He said: “You will come back, won’t you?”

“I don’t plan to stay,” I said.

“You might change your mind once you are there.”

“It doesn’t seem likely.”

“Are you sure you wouldn’t like to forget it all and come with me instead?”

“I don’t think that would be right for either of us, James.”

“The offer is still on.”

“Thank you.”

“It’s fun, you know. It would be a complete change.”

“As Gertie is always saying this will be.”

“If you don’t come back I may come for you when I have a fortune to offer.”

“I don’t want a fortune.”

“I know. But it would be nice to have it all the same. Don’t forget me, will you?”

“No. I never would. And thank you for all your under standing.”

“Oh I’m the understanding kind. Remember that too.”

“I will.”

Gertie and I were constantly together. We shopped; we made plans; and in due course booked our passages on the Ocean Star.

Elsie wondered how I would feel about going to sea again. She thought the trauma of shipwreck might have had such an effect on me that I would not be able to bring myself to go again.

I had no qualms. I did mention to Gertie that I should feel closer to Toby at sea, to which she retorted quite rightly “What maudlin nonsense! Don’t say that to any one else or they’ll think you’ve got

bats in the belfry. 1 am going to sea with you, and I don’t want Toby to be with us all the time.”

It was brutal, but it was for my own good, I knew. She went on gently;

“I’ve got the plan of the Ocean Star. My word, she’s a beautiful ship.

Look, we can see exactly where our cabin is. “

It was late January when Gertie and I set sail. Joe and Elsie had married just after Christmas.

It had been a quiet ceremony and Joe had taken up residence at Elsie’s house. I was delighted, because I knew it was what he had wanted for a long time. Elsie too was contented.

Joe’s nephew, William, who had long wanted a property of his own, had taken over the management of Joe’s. Joe kept an interest in it and would always be close at hand to advise. He and Elsie would pay periodic visits to William, and the arrangements were to the utmost satisfaction of both William and Joe, as well as Elsie.

The Formans with Elsie and Joe came to see us off. It was a moving farewell, and even Gertie seemed a little tearful and looked as though she were wondering whether she was wise to make the journey-but only very briefly.

James held my hands tightly and reminded me that I must come back, and added: “Before long, or I shall come for you.”

I nodded, and we kissed.

We stood on the deck, waving to them as the ship slipped away: and I could not help thinking of the day I had first come here on the Lady of the Seas, how Toby had been with me and how happy we were.

Aware of my thoughts, Gertie hustled me off to our cabin and in her practical way sorted out who should have which berth and which wardrobe space should be allotted to me.

1 knew there would be much to remind me, but I must i79

stop harking back to the old life. I had to go forward and start afresh.

I was familiar with shipboard life, but every ship is different and although the general rules apply, they are varied slightly to fit in to each particular vessel.

The Captain was very pleasant. He had known Toby and when he realized who I was, and that I had actually been on the Lady of the Seas when she had sunk, he was particularly kind to me.

I realized quickly that I had been right to come, for, looking forward to going home, I could feel myself moving away from my tragedy, and I knew I was getting nearer to adjusting myself to life without Toby. I even convinced myself that he was looking after me, applauding me, urging me along the path I was taking. It helped. But it was inevitable that there must be moments which brought back poignant memories.

It would have been easier if we had not taken almost the same route back to England as that of my first journey out; but I did my best not to think of it, and Gertie was a great help to me. I was always aware of her watchful eyes on me, and I was deeply touched because she did so much want me to enjoy the visit.

I think I managed very well. We had pleasant travelling companions;

the weather was benign. Gertie and I usually went ashore with a party from the ship. The story of our getting lost in Suez was related with much hilarity and it struck me afresh how time turns disastrous happenings into comic adventures. However, there was a great deal of laughter about the two little girls who had climbed a rope-ladder to board the ship.

Suez, it seemed, was a place where things happened to us, commented Gertie, for, as we were about to board the launch which was to take us back to the ship, 1 saw a man who seemed familiar to me.

1 stared. Then 1 recognized him.

“Dr. Emmerson!” I cried.

Gertie was beside me.

“It is!” she exclaimed.

“Really, here of all places!”

He was a little disconcerted. During the passage of time, girls of eleven change more than men in their twenties or thirties. He stood looking at us, faintly puzzled. Then enlightenment dawned.

He laughed.

“Is it really Carmel … and Gertie?”

“Yes, it is,” we cried together.

“Lost in Suez,” he said.

“What a business, getting you on board.”

“With that rope-ladder,” gurgled Gertie.

“Still, we did it. And you are travelling on this ship?”

“Yes. Home.”

“What a coincidence. So am I.”

We chattered as the launch took us out. He told us he had been in Suez for the last two weeks talking to the doctors there. He had a practice in Harley Street and was attached to a London hospital.

“When we last met,” he said, “I was going out to Suez to study at a hospital there. Well, I did all that, came home and settled, as it were.”

“Do you often go to Suez?” I asked.

“No. Not now. I just happened to pay this flying visit, doing a talk on some new development.”

“How strange that you should be on the same ship as we are, going home.”

“Things happen that way sometimes.”

The voyage changed after that. We saw a great deal of Dr. Emmerson. He seemed to seek me out. At first Gertie was with us, but one of the new arrivals at Suez was Bernard Ragland, and he and Gertie liked each other from the start. He was interested in medieval architecture, and was attached to one of the London museums hardly the kind of subject to attract Gertie, but she suddenly became interested in it.

Dr. Emmerson knew about the shipwreck and he under stood what the loss of Toby meant to me, so I was able to talk frankly to him. I found that a relief and would sit on deck and chat for long stretches at a time. He told me of his life and career, how he had worked for a time in Suez. He spoke of the suffering he had seen there among the poor, and somehow he drew me away from my personal tragedy as no one had before; and he made me see that Gertie was right when she had said that I had indulged too much in brooding on my own misfortunes.

Looking back on that voyage, I see that a great deal happened during it and no one could have said it was uneventful.

The sea had been especially kind to us, even in those areas where it could be notoriously unpredictable. We had sailed smoothly; we had met pleasant acquaintances some of whom we had made tentative arrangements to see again, which would most likely never materialize;

in fact, it had been a trip like many others superficially, but it was to be important, not only to me, but to Gertie.

As soon as I stepped ashore in the company of Dr. Emmerson, Gertie and Bernard Ragland I knew that I had passed an important barrier. I had set a distance between myself and the past.

Aunt Beatrice and Uncle Harold were waiting to greet us. Gertie rushed into Aunt Beatrice’s arms.

“You’re here, you’re here!” cried Aunt Beatrice. She was plump and rosy and rather large. Uncle Harold was thin and slightly shorter. He stood looking on, faintly embarrassed, but pleased and as welcoming in his way as Aunt Beatrice was in hers.

“This is Carmel,” Gertie announced.

“You’ve heard about her. And this is Mr. Bernard Ragland,” she went on with pride, and Aunt Beatrice seized his hand and shook it warmly. Then Uncle Harold did the same.

“And this is Dr. Emmerson.”

“So pleased to meet you,” said Aunt Beatrice.

“It’s wonderful to be home,” said Gertie.

Aunt Beatrice and Uncle Harold exchanged glances of gratification, which implied that Gertie should never have gone and how wise she was to come back.

And soon after, Gertie and I went off with her family and Dr. Emmerson and Bernard Ragland their separate ways. They had already made promises to see us again.

And there we were, on our way to Kensington, while Gertie and Aunt Beatrice chattered all the time and Uncle Harold and I sat listening and smiling.

Those first weeks in London were full of experiences and time passed quickly. There were long periods when I did not think of Toby and I realized that, if I allowed myself, I could be very interested in what was going on around me.

Aunt Beatrice and Uncle Harold-Mr. and Mrs. Hyson -were completely hospitable. The family house was comfortable. I was sure they would have made the most loving parents. They were devoted to Gertie and clearly enjoyed having her with them. And they welcomed me, too.

The house was in a square, in the centre of which was a large and well-kept garden for the use of residents of the square. The key to the gates of this garden was kept hanging just inside the back door and I took the opportunity of going there to sit now and then. It was very peaceful to be shut in among the trees, through which one could just get a glimpse of those tall houses, standing like sentinels guarding the peace of the square.

The house was roomy; at the top was that part which had been intended for the children who never arrived. Those apartments were now given over to Gertie and me. Gertie was familiar with them from the days when she and James used to visit the house. There had been their

playroom, and in the large cupboard were games draughts, chess, jigsaws, snakes and ladders and ludo.

It should have been rather sad to contemplate the dreams of these two pleasant people which had never materialized, but somehow one could not, for they had not become in the least embittered: and now that Gertie and I were here, they seemed entirely reconciled.

“They are a wonderful pair,” Gertie told me.

“It was a blow to them when my people decided to go to Australia. Now, here I am and it’s good to be back. They’re a lesson to us, those two. Don’t you agree?”

she added pointedly, and I laughed, because I knew she meant that the lesson was chiefly for me. I thought then that it is indeed a boon to get a glimpse of ourselves as others see us.

The Hysons liked to entertain and having Gertie with them gave them excuses to do so.

They had some spacious rooms which were suitable for this and they determined to make good use of them. Within a week of our arrival, Dr. Emmerson whose name I had by now discovered was Lawrence and Bernard Ragland had been asked to dinner.

We had a very pleasant evening together and the episode of our rescue in Suez was related once more, although I am sure Gertie had told them all about it in her letters.

Gertie listened as though enraptured to some details about the differences between Gothic and Norman architecture and how, in the early fourteenth century, builders were not content with the simple styles and sought some thing more decorative. I was amazed to see her so earnest.

I thought then: This is Gertie in love.

Lawrence1 was beginning to think of him as Lawrence by this time did not talk intimately of his profession. I supposed diseases of the skin would be a less welcome subject at the dinner-table.

1 was becoming very interested in Gertie’s relationship with Bernard Ragland and so were her aunt and uncle.