The Black Diamond (30 page)

"That sounds promising."

"Yes, but it was what he
didn't
say that's plagued me all day. Immediately after I blurted out my feelings, he withdrew somehow—not physically, not even verbally; but then again, that's not Julian's style. His self-restraint isn't worn on the surface like Slayde's was. Outwardly my husband is charming and expressive. Openness comes easily to him—but only in bed and in conversation. Anything deeper is another matter entirely. Feelings, emotions—that's where his self-imposed boundaries are set. His
own
feelings and emotions." Aurora drew a slow, purposeful breath. "Courtney, I've had several hours to think about this, to analyze the conflict Julian is experiencing. And what I finally understand, perhaps what you already understood, is that
my
loving
Julian
presents little or no problem for him. He has only to accept my feelings while still retaining control over his. The real problem would be if he let himself love me in return. Now
that
would render him vulnerable, something he refuses to be—for all the reasons you and I have already discussed."

Courtney nodded. "But he's already falling in love with you. So he's already vulnerable, whether he chooses to admit it or not."

"I know that," Aurora said quietly, interlacing her fingers, pressing her palms tightly together. "And on some level, so does Julian. But he's not going to give in without a fight. Until now he's been safe, transient—no family, no home, and no possibility of loss. Loving me would change all that. 'Twould mean relinquishing his autonomy, entertaining a risk far greater than those incited by all his adventures combined." She paused. "And there's one thing more. Do you remember what I said about Julian feeling guilty for not being able to prevent Hugh's death?"

"I remember."

"I think that's a big part of this, too. Have you ever noticed how often and how vehemently my husband vows that he'll protect me, ensure my well-being?"

"You think that's because he couldn't do that for his brother?"

"To some extent, yes. All his life, Julian has been strong, self-sufficient, a man others looked to for solutions. He takes that role very seriously, even in his work. He feels a tremendous responsibility to set things right, to restore and protect. Well, one can't be omnipotent and vulnerable all at once, can one?"

"I suppose not." Courtney frowned. "If what you're saying is true—and it certainly makes sense that it is—how are you going to convince Julian to change?"

"That's where my realization of a few minutes ago comes in." Aurora leaned forward, her entire face aglow. "Mr. Scollard provided me with the answer earlier today, only I didn't hear it—truly hear it—until now." A twinkle. "That's because he didn't intend for me to. As always, his answer was painstakingly concealed so I'd be forced to go through this entire thought process to fully understand things before I arrived at my solution."

Courtney nodded, having experienced Mr. Scollard's brilliant guidance firsthand. "What did he say? And where did it lead you?"

"He told me to hold fast to my strength and to my husband. And he told Julian to take care of me—as I would of him." Aurora's lips curved. "After reviewing all I just told you, then hearing Julian declare for the dozenth time that he meant to ensure my well-being, it struck me in a flash. Mr. Scollard was paving my way with his counsel. What I derived from his words is this: if as my husband, Julian is hell-bent on protecting me—which we know he is—then as his wife, I shall be hell-bent on protecting him, too. Not out of guilt or duty, but out of love—which, as you and I both know, is Julian's true underlying reason for wanting to shelter me, even if he is too unnerved to admit it to me or himself. In any case, that's the whole point of my plan. Not only am I going to guard my husband like a lioness, I'm going to prove something to him in the process—that loving someone can make you strong, not weak."

Courtney shook her head in amazement. "I'm duly impressed. That was an extraordinary display of reasoning, even for you. However, you did omit one or two details, such as how you intend to accomplish this. More importantly, what is it Julian needs protection from? You're not alluding only to the search for the black diamond, are you?"

Silence.

"Aurora, answer me. How is it you plan to protect Julian—and from what—or rather, whom?"

"I can't answer those two questions, at least not yet. But Courtney, you were right, twice over, in fact. Julian
is
falling in love with me, and my love
will
be there to cushion his fall when he does."

"I never doubted either of those things." Courtney's expression remained troubled. "Aurora, you're not going to do anything dangerous, are you?"

"Only if it's necessary," Aurora replied honestly. Her back straightened and her chin came up. "But no matter what it takes, I'm going to protect my husband—
and
open his stubborn eyes in the process."

Chapter 12

 
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"
I
noticed you never told Slayde and Courtney your suspicions that we were being followed when we left for Morland yesterday," Aurora commented as their carriage sped through the gates of Pembourne, en route to Polperro.

Julian shrugged. "There was no reason to. Nothing actually happened—'twas only an instinct. An accurate one, I'm certain, but an instinct nonetheless. Besides, your brother is already frantic in his worry over Courtney's safety. If I told him this, it would only add to that apprehension. Further, whoever was pursuing us was after me, not the Huntleys."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure." A pause. "Speaking of issues left undiscussed, what was it you were so eager to divulge to Courtney last night? You never did tell me."

Aurora shot him an impish grin. "You never asked. In fact, you said very little when you came to bed. You seemed to have other matters on your mind."

"I did." Julian tugged her closer, rubbing his chin across her satiny tresses. "The same matters that are always on my mind when it comes to you." His hands slid up to cup her breasts. "It's inconceivable what you do to me."

With a tiny shiver, Aurora shifted about to face him, reaching up to unfasten his shirt. "We have hours and hours," she reminded him seductively. "A long, tedious carriage ride with nothing to do." Leaning past her husband, she drew the carriage curtains as he had on their wedding day.

Julian caught her arm, stilled its motion. "Is this because you don't want to answer my question?"

"No." Aurora gazed directly into his eyes, thinking about her plan and the steps she'd taken to ensure it. "This is because I want you as much as you want me. As for your question, I'd be more than happy to answer it. The reason I was so eager to talk to Courtney was because I wanted her to know that I'd followed her advice and told you I love you."

Julian drew a swift breath. "I see."

"Now will you make love to me?" Aurora whispered, pushing open the sides of his shirt, searching his face as her palms swept over the hard hair-roughened planes of his chest.

With a ragged sound of need, Julian dragged her mouth to his. "Until the fire consumes us," he breathed fiercely.

The fire prevailed throughout their journey to Polperro.

So did the carriage that trailed unobtrusively behind them.

* * *

Julian's property was every bit as wonderful as Aurora's cursory inspection had promised. Then again, this was the first time she was able to view her new home in the daylight. The grounds were modest, with but a small garden and several acres of manicured lawn surrounding the stone manor. But the view was spectacular even from the drive: the cliffs towering in the background, the waters of the Channel stretching below as far as the eye could see.

"Can we walk a bit before we go in?" Aurora demanded, her eyes sparkling as the carriage came to a halt.

"Of course."

The words were scarcely out of Julian's mouth when Aurora flung open the carriage door and leapt out, nearly knocking down one stunned footman in the process.

Chuckling, Julian joined her, issuing a few instructions to his driver and footmen before capturing Aurora's arm, guiding her precisely where she wanted to go: down the tiny winding path that led to the water.

When they reached the sandy strip along the shore, Aurora rushed forward, nearly giddy with excitement. "It's everything you said and more," she declared, strolling to the water's edge where the waves of the Channel broke gracefully, drenching her slippers and the hem of her gown with their foam. "The cliffs above us, the water below—it's a legend-seeker's dream."

"I thought you'd like it." Julian grinned, clearly enjoying her exuberant reception.

"Like it? I love it!" Impatiently Aurora raised her skirts and wrung out the wet muslin.

"I don't think that will help. The gown is ruined."

Aurora laughed, letting the soggy material droop to the sand. "True. Then again, it was ruined hours ago—by you."

"Is that a complaint?" Julian shot her a thoroughly smug look.

"No, you arrogant man, that was a sated assessment." She spun about, shading her eyes so she could study the manor, its ivy-covered walls angling sharply into a second wing that sloped backward toward the shelter of the cliffs. "The house is larger than I originally thought."

"Too large?" Julian wrapped his arms about her from behind.

"No. Perfect."

"Good. Then, would you like to go inside and meet the staff?" He nuzzled her neck. "Or shall I impede this tour as I did the last—by carrying you up to bed?"

"Not this time." Aurora laughed, stepping out of his embrace. "As it is, your servants have doubtless labeled me a wanton. What would they think of a repeat performance of last time—and in broad daylight, no less?"

"I don't care what they'd think. Do you?"

Aurora sobered. "You know I don't. But I would like to finish our tour." Pausing, she rubbed the folds of her damp gown between her fingers, trying to explain something that was as foreign to her as it was to her husband, and hoping that by doing so she wouldn't further unnerve him. Then again, her bloody candor would allow nothing shy of the truth. So she might as well plunge right in and take her chances. "Julian, in many ways this is my first real home. Pembourne was more like a prison for me, at least until Courtney arrived. Even then, my affinity was for her and Slayde, not the house. I know I claimed not to require roots—but perhaps I was mistaken. Perhaps I just required a different kind of roots, the kind I never knew existed—until now. Is that notion totally unfathomable? Or, if not unfathomable, then untenable?"

Julian's gaze narrowed, tiny flames darting through the topaz depths. "No. That notion is neither unfathomable nor untenable." He threaded his fingers through her hair. "I'd be delighted to acquaint you with your new home—but only if you vow not to become too attached to it. Because what is both unfathomable and untenable is the thought of doing without you for months on end. I can scarcely take my hands off you long enough to show you around. So don't change your mind about traveling abroad with me."

Aurora's throat tightened at what was as close to an admission of need as Julian had allowed himself thus far. "I won't. I couldn't." She lay her palm against her husband's jaw. "I'd be as empty as you would."

He turned his lips into her palm, then caught her fingers in his. "Come,
soleil
. Meet your staff."

Julian's staff was as unconventional as he—from Daniels, the stout ununiformed butler, to Hadrigin, Julian's bearded and brawny valet, who was not only not uniformed but was addressed by the other servants as 'Gin'—a name Aurora suspected had little to do with the abbreviated form of his surname. Then there were the other two dozen or so informally dressed men and women who greeted her not with customary bows, but with broad grins and unaffected—though no less warm and respectful—hellos.

"Well?" Julian asked, eyes twinkling, when they'd made their way through the rustic house and were alone in his bedchamber. "What do you think of the residents of Merlin Manor?"

Aurora's brows arched. "'Merlin Manor'?"

"Of course." Julian's teeth gleamed. "Aren't all noblemen and their estates known by the same name?"

"Indeed they are." Aurora couldn't control her laughter. "Tell me, is it my imagination, or are all your servants just a bit unconventional? And while we're on the subject, just how did Gin get his name?"

"They're as unconventional as I—well, maybe a bit more so," Julian conceded. "As for Gin, not only can he tie a wicked cravat, he can toss off five measures of his namesake beforehand—
and
still complete his task with steady fingers."

"That's quite a feat." Aurora wiped tears of laughter from her eyes. "Did his references state as such? Or did you simply ask his previous employer?"

"Neither." Julian's smile vanished, his offhanded tone ringing with a fine underlying tension. "I met him during my travels. His employer was a filthy pirate who was about to run Gin through for releasing a tavern maid rather than dragging her back to the ship for mutual enjoyment. I convinced the murderous bastard he could do without both the girl and Gin."

"Is the tavern maid here as well?"

"She's Emma, the girl I introduced you to in the sitting room. The one who stared at you with those worshipful eyes."

Aurora blanched recalling the slight, fair-haired maid she'd encountered dusting the side table, her blue eyes widening with awe as she'd dropped curtsy after awkward curtsy. "Julian, she can't be more than sixteen years old."

"Fifteen," he corrected. "Thirteen when the incident I just described took place." He caressed Aurora's cheek. "Don't look so horrified. She's fine and thoroughly intact, t
hank
s to Gin's interference. Now I have two outstanding servants and they each have a home." Julian's thumb traced Aurora's lips, then stroked the distressed pucker between her brows. "Think how dreadful it was for me until then," he joked, trying to make her smile. "I not only had to make up my own bed, I had to tie my own cravats."

"You never wear cravats anyway," Aurora replied absently, her thoughts racing ahead, then coming to a screeching halt. "Julian—your servants, all the men and women who work here, they're all like Gin and Emma, aren't they? All victims you rescued from dire circumstances?"

"Don't make it sound like I'm such a hero,
soleil
. Yes, I helped them escape disagreeable situations, offered them jobs and a place to live. But my servants work damned hard for their wages." A corner of Julian's mouth lifted. "You might not believe this, but I'm not an easy man to live with. I'm also demanding as hell to work for, whether I'm here or abroad. My staff's duties are extensive and varied, including the ability to handle all types of unsavory guests who might drop in uninvited during my absence."

"That doesn't lessen the magnitude of your actions." Pride and respect surged in Aurora's chest. "You, Julian Bencroft, are a wonderful man. You might live by your own rules, but those rules are far more exemplary than all the
ton's
combined. Your nobility transcends a mere title." Her small jaw set, resentment flashing in her eyes. "This only proves that your father, besides being a scoundrel and a liar, was a stupid, bloody fool. I'd like to thrash him for denouncing you."

Tenderness softened Julian's features and he drew her to him, tilting back her head for a kiss. "You're arousing as hell when you're angry."

Aurora found herself smiling again. "Let's see … when I'm angry, when I'm secretive, when I'm adventurous, when I'm bold, when I'm eager, when I'm…"

"All the time, then." He silenced her with his mouth.

"'Ey, Merlin … that's gonna 'ave to wait." Gin strode in, looking not the least bit perturbed by the heated embrace he'd interrupted.

Neither was Julian, who made no move to release his wife. "Good-bye, Gin. By the way, it's time you learned to knock."

"Next time. Right now, Stone's 'ere to see ye."

This time, Julian did lift his head. "Stone? Now?"

A nod. "'E says 'e's got news."

"Good. I intended to send for him; this saves me the trouble. Tell him I'm on my way."

"No." Aurora gripped his arms. "Tell him
we're
on
our
way." She didn't back down, not even when Julian's eyes narrowed, his mouth forming the word "no."

"The matter you want to see Stone about concerns me as well." She stopped without further elaboration, given that Gin was still present—not merely present, but standing practically atop them, gaping. "Besides—" She focused her attention on Julian, tossing him a teasing grin. "—Mr. Stone and I are old friends. Why, he's seen me in the most shocking state of undress…"