The Bite That Binds (The Deep In Your Veins #2) (16 page)

Again, there was authority in her tone that was much like a subtle
push
. I looked at her curiously. “What do you think you are, a fucking Jedi?”

“You made love to me as no other man before, or after you, has done.”

I slowly sat upright on the lounger and swung my legs over the side, facing her. “Let’s get one thing straight, Magda. I fucked you, but that’s all. Only with Sam has sex ever been anything more than that for me.”

Anger flashed on her face. “Perhaps it’s that way for you. But is it that way for her? Does she truly feel as strongly for you? If so, I have to wonder why you aren’t happy and why you are currently so angry.”

I knew she was playing mind games with me and it made me want to slap her – female or not. I almost did when she grabbed my arm. Instead, I shook off her grip. “Yeah, I’m pissed with Sam,” I admitted. “I’m pissed with her big time. In fact, I get pissed with her a lot, just as she does with me. But I still love her, and that’s not going to change.” I stood sharply, almost unbalancing the lounger.

“You say these things…but you have not totally opened yourself up to her, have you? You persist in holding back from her, even though it hurts her. Odd, then, that you claim to love her.”

But Magda was wrong. I wasn’t holding back from Sam, although that was how both women saw it. Telling Sam about my past would mean going back to that place in time in my head, and it would mean taking Sam there with me. I didn’t want her being touched by that shit.

Similarly, I didn’t want her to see the anxieties that lurked very deep inside me in spite of my efforts to get rid of them. I was broken in many ways, but I’d done a good job of hiding it, of denying it even to myself. It didn’t matter that I knew those anxieties were needless − when you were told things every single day of your childhood, those things had a way of embedding themselves inside you; lurking there, and appearing to torment you at your low moments.
Knowing
that none of it was true didn’t make it completely go away. And if your own mother couldn’t love you, it was so easy to believe that nobody else was ever going to.

I didn’t want Sam to have to hear about that woman. I didn’t want Sam spending even a second of her life thinking about her. It would feel like I was letting my mother taint her just as she had tainted my human life. Of course I wasn’t dumb; I knew that I would have to tell Sam everything at some point − mostly because she would never let it alone. Was delaying that such a bad thing?

Teleporting back to the apartment, I found Sam already in bed. I thought by her even breathing that she was sleeping deeply, but when I finally slipped into bed, one eye peeked open.

“You still angry?” Her voice was a little croaky.

“More angry than I’ve ever been about anything in my fucking life.” I was pulling her to me even as I said it.

“If I’d told you about Luther’s vision, you would have tried to stop me from—”

“Yeah, and as much as it pisses me off, I do understand why you didn’t tell me. But you could have told me afterwards, Sam. You could’ve, but you didn’t; that’s what hurts. On some level you were punishing me, weren’t you? You didn’t tell me because you wanted me to know how it felt to be shut out.”

I could tell by her expression that she hadn’t really considered that. After a few seconds, she sighed. “Maybe. But if I was, I hadn’t actually realised it. It does hurt me that you don’t share stuff, especially this thing with your mother, because it’s obviously something big to you.”

My arm contracted around her. “I don’t mean to hurt you. I would never want to do that. Not ever.”

“But you don’t trust me with the details,” she assumed.

I cupped her chin and tried to lift her face to mine, but she resisted. “Hey, hey, hey, look at me.
Look
at me.” Sighing, she did. “It is not that I don’t trust you. You, Evan, and Antonio are the only people that I do trust. I’m asking
you
to trust
me
here. I will tell you what you want to know. I will. Just don’t ask me to bring up this shit now. There is so much going on around us, interfering with our ability to enjoy our own Binding. Can we just shove this aside until afterward? Can we at least shelf this one thing?”

Could I at least have the luxury of not thinking and talking about the woman who had given birth to me, but done little else for me? That was the real question, but it would be revealing too much. Sam had a very curious nature and was drawn to mysteries. She wouldn’t be grateful to know only a few things. No, her curiosity would drive her to ask for more details.

“All right,” she eventually replied. “But you have to promise that you
will
tell me eventually.”

I nodded, wishing she hadn’t said that, and wishing she wasn’t looking at me with an expression that said ‘I’ll need more than a nod’. “I promise.”

“Good.” Abruptly, she sank her teeth into my chest. Her hand closed around my cock and she pumped as she drank from me, not stopping until I exploded over her hand. I was more than happy to return the favour.

CHAPTER SEVEN

(Sam)

I was surprised to find Wes and his snake on my doorstep at dusk. “Everything all right?”

Wes gestured to a small gift-wrapped box he was holding. “I have something for you.”

Not comforted by his impish expression, I nevertheless stepped aside to allow him to enter.

Jared, who was seated on the sofa drinking a NST and eating toast, looked up from his breakfast. “Hey,” he greeted simply, and then his eyes went to the box. His expression – complete with the questioning brow – mirrored my own.

“I have a gift for Sam. As I believe you will benefit from it to an extent, I suppose it can double as a Binding gift from Lena and I.”

Curious, Jared rose from the sofa and went to take the box, but Wes shook his head and turned to me. “Firstly, may I ask how you slept?”

Translation: Had there been any more pain? “Actually, I slept really well.”

His smile was wide. “That’s good to hear.” He held out the gift to me.

Not liking the roguish look on his face, I eyed the prettily wrapped box suspiciously. “What is it?” I asked dubiously.

“That’s for you to find out, my dear girl. Here, open it.”

Sighing, I took the box and carefully placed it on the coffee table. Just as carefully, I removed the wrapping paper, only to find a wooden box. Taking off the lid, I felt my eyebrows crash into my hairline. “Wow, a pen – just what I’ve always wanted.” Of course he was giving me a pen. Why wouldn’t he give me a pen? Clearly his antenna didn’t pick up all the channels.

“This fountain pen is what I use to draw pictures or tattoos. Using it as an outline, I then project the image in my mind onto paper, skin, or whatever my ‘canvas’ is. A needle is not necessary and would not work with vampires anyway as the skin would heal too quickly.”

I had to refrain from backing away when Toto leaned toward me, but he didn’t touch me. Instead, he flicked his forked tongue out at the box. Then it snapped into place. “Oh you’re bloody joking.”

Jared frowned as the same realisation hit him. “You’re giving her a snake?”

“Like Antonio, I reward those in my service who have truly earned it.” Wes turned back to me. “I have only ever done this for my most prized warriors.”

I might have felt a little flattered by the sentiment if it wasn’t for the twinkle of mischief in his eyes. “I don’t know if ‘warrior’ is a word that could be used to describe me.”

“Of course it is. Trust me, you will be more than happy with my gift. These snakes are such intelligent creatures. And so uniquely beautiful – not only in appearance, but in temperament. They are loyal to their…I suppose you could say ‘owner’. I am certain that
Jared will be happy for you to receive anything that adds to your protection. Strikers are particularly protective.”

I raised a brow. “Strikers?”

“That is what I have named the breed. He will guard and protect you, just as Toto does me.”

I probably would be better not asking, but, I had to. “And you picked the name ‘Striker’ because…?”

“You see, in most instances it is easy to tell when a snake is feeling uneasy or threatened. This breed always appears calm and docile, but it is forever alert” – a little like Butch, then – “and it will strike so quickly, not even a vampire would have seen it coming.”

Well wasn’t this special. Common sense advised me to tell him to shove that pen up his arse and sod off, but something in his eyes made me pause. He really, really wanted
me to accept this gift, really wanted me to have this added protection. It wasn’t like I didn’t need protection right now, was it? Finally, I nodded. He smiled in satisfaction, while Jared gave me a look that said ‘Fair play to you’.

I led Wes over to the dining table and gestured for him to take a seat. He did, but stopped me when I went to sit beside him. “It would be better if you could stand due to our differences in size.”

Oh again with the ‘size’ remarks. “Whatever,” I grumbled.

“Are you happy for me to draw him on your arm? I’m quite certain that Jared will object to me sketching anything on your chest.”

Jared threw him a playfully dark scowl. “You got that right.”

I held out my arm, watching in fascination as he took the pen from the box on the table and began to draw. “You said ‘him’. Does that mean you’re drawing a male?”

“Yes,” confirmed Wes. “He will be physically identical to Toto, though much shorter. He will grow with time. Growth, for Strikers, is an extremely slow process.”

“So he’ll be a baby?”

“No, he’ll be what you might call an adolescent. But this will not make him any less lethal. Size makes no difference with this breed. In tattoo form, however, he will always remain the same length.”

Jared came to stand beside me, watching closely. “Does it hurt?” He ignored Wes’ impatient look.

I shook my head. Strangely, the pen left a tingling sensation as it moved on my skin. It wasn’t pleasant or unpleasant, simply a sensation. Although the ink was black, other colours appeared in the intricate drawing, and I realised that Wes was projecting them onto the image.

It was an hour later when Wes was finally finished. A very detailed four-inch long, piebald snake was then twined around my upper arm. The brown patches on his pure-white scales were small and spaced far apart.

“Before I bring him to life, you need to give him a name. He will not simply be your guard, but a pet; an individual in his own right with a personality all of his own.”

After a moment, I said, “I quite like Dexter.”

“Why ‘Dexter’?” asked Jared with a smile.

I shrugged. “I just like it. Or I could name him Slick, or Conan, or Boomer.”

Jared chuckled. “No, Dexter’s good.”

“Yes, I rather like it myself,” said Wes. “Now, Sam, stay as still as you can for me.”

Fighting the urge to tense, I held still and waited. Wes did nothing other than stare at the image. Then, suddenly, heat travelled up my arm. Seconds later, there was a live snake where the image had been. Only it was five times the length that it had been as a tattoo, making it one and a half foot long.

He had a good look around before his black eyes locked onto me. I would have expected that I’d be shuddering and backing away. Instead, I was smiling at him fondly – like a crazy person.

Wanting to be sure I didn’t startle him, I slowly raised my hand and lightly ran a finger over his coffin-shaped head. Amazingly, he leaned in to the touch, still staring at me. His gaze was intelligent, observant, and curious. I almost shit my pants in surprise when his colour abruptly changed to the same brilliant blue that Toto had earlier been. “So that means he likes me, right?” I asked Wes without moving my gaze from Dexter.

“Yes, it does.”

“He’s actually kind of cool.” Jared took a step toward me, and Dexter’s head shot around to face him. Just like that, his colouring went to jet black and his tail rattled slightly. I remembered Wes saying something about Toto being grey or black whenever he was wary. And obviously the rattling tail wasn’t a good thing.

“Whoa,” said Jared, freezing on the spot.

Wes held up a hand. “He’s just being cautious as he doesn’t yet know you, and he’s intent on protecting Sam. It’s instinctive for him.”

Jared looked slightly placated. “Why does it feel like he’s assessing me?”

Wes smiled. “He most likely is. Come closer, so he can get a better feel for you.”

I almost laughed at Jared’s ‘Do you think I’m stupid?’ look. “Oh behave. You face big, bad vampires all the time. He’s just a snake.”

“With venomous fangs. Did you forget that part? And he spits, too. I like being able to see, thanks.”

I rolled my eyes. “Come here, you big Nancy.”

Jared tried his best to seem cool and calm, even moving with a very casual, cocky strut. “What do you want me to do?”

“I need him to get used to you. I don’t want him thinking I need protecting from you, so just sit down on this chair near me. But
slowly
.” Once Jared had done as I asked, I took his hand in mine and waited. At a steady pace, Dexter slinked his way down my arm and up Jared’s. “Don’t tense.” To Jared’s credit, he didn’t.