The Binding (26 page)

He smile
s broadly, a little cocky if you ask me, and says, “
O
f course I am. I am Prince Tharin…”

“Yeah, yeah,” I interrupt laughing, “you’re ‘Prince Tharin, the Future King of Velesi and Slayer of all evil’! Oh, and let’s not forget bossy and mean.”

“What
!” he says pretending shock, “I’
m not mean!”

“Okay, just bossy then,” again I laugh. This is a wh ole new side of Tharin . He can actually be silly and funny, and I find that I like his laugh …I like it a lot .

“Well
, at least I don’t go around hitting people I don’t know. They have a name for people like you, you know. They’re call ed bullies,” he says giving me a sideway s glance.

“What!” I’m actually insulted! “I’m not a bully! What are you talking about? I’ve never bullied anyone in my entire life. Are you serious? I can’t stand bullies.”

He shrugs,
not affected by my outburst .
“Sure, say what you want, but my jaw still hurts from when you hit me with your elbow and when you punched me, oh, and let’s not forget when you head-butted me at the gas station.
Yup, b ully.”

Without thinking I punch him in the arm, then I’m ins tantly appalled that I did that.
I have n ever intentionally hit anyone before .
Okay, I did train with Mr. Li, but that was only because Julia insisted , and I never used anything that I learned on anyone, ever .
I sit with both my fists covering my mouth ―
shock ed that I just hit him.

He winces grabbing his arm and moan s pathetically. He leans his head up against his window in mock pain. He gives me another sideway s glance and painfully gasps, “Bully.”

I sit up laughing again, “Shut up, that didn’t even hurt !
”
A fter a moment’s pause, “I’m sorry. Really, did I hurt you? I didn’t mean to, I swear I’ve never hit anyone intentionally.”

He raises a brow at me, and I rush on, “
It’s just that, well, you just have a way of bringing out the hostility in me.”

“Bully.”

“Will you stop calling me that!”

He straightens in his seat laughing while still looking ahead and asks, “Okay then, what should I call you?”

“I don’t want you to call me anything but Lily, j ust Lily.”

“No can do,” he answers , still looking ahead.

“Well, why the hell not?”

“Because,
Lily ,” he answers emphasizing my name, “you’re my betrothed. And should I not have a special name for my betrothed?”

“You’re kidding, right?” I ask giving him a raised brow of my own .

“Nope,
I’m as serious as an old oak.”

“Wow, that’s pretty serious,” I reply mockingly, not sure how serious an old oak can be.

Ignoring my
remark he goes on thinking out loud, “Let’s see, how about h oney—
b unny?”

“Oh, hell no
…
I don’t think so.” I s i t back in my seat with my arms folded.

“Okay,
s ugar b aby?”

“Disgusting! No.”

“What about my Teeny-Weenie Little Sweet Princess Sugar Bunny ?”

I
turn to him giving him a threatening look. He laughs out loud and I just want to hit him again. He stops laughing and thinks for a minute, then says soberly, “How about ‘
m y l ove’?”

I’m
quiet for a moment.
I’m a little stun ned that he would even consider calling me that. When he said it I felt butterflies in my stomach and sadness at the same time . I look out the window and say quietly, “No, Tharin.”

“I think that’s up to me, don’t you? I should be able to call my betrothed what I want to call her,” he replies just as quiet ly .

How did we go from being silly and having fun to being serious again? I tol d myself earlier that I wouldn’t be afraid to speak my mind with Tharin. I don’t know if it has anything to do with whatever the Binding w as , or from knowing Asi…
I don’t know. What I do know is that I can’t keep what I feel inside me any longer.

I take a deep breath and say, “Because you love, Kalis.” I glance at him and find him looking at me questioningly. “Mellis told Julia about her.” He turns back to the road, a hard look on his face. I reach out to him touching the same arm I hit .
“Please don’t be angry with him. Honestly, I don’t think he meant to say anything. I know you’re a private person, but shouldn’t your betrothed know there’
s someon e else in the picture?” He remains quiet.
“Besides Tharin, it’s not as if we have real feelings for each other .
”
He tightens his grip on the wheel. “I mean, we haven’t known each other that long , and we really don’t know anything about one another.
But, I’ll admit,” I sit back, letting my hand drop to my lap, “I do care about you .
”
H
is grip loosens on the wheel .
“
A nd I can’t stand the thought of you being hurt because of me.”

I feel him relax as I look back out the window .
I rush through the rest of what I have to say before I lose my nerve.
“If you love Kalis, then I’m sure she loves you, too. I mean, what’s not to love, right? You’re brave, honest, and when you want to be, you can be kind and gentle. You say what’s on your mind, you care about the people around you, and it’s so obvious that you love your brother . You would even die for him, or your cousins for that matter . You have your sense of honor and justice that’s unrelenting and you’re stubborn about keeping promises. And…and I wish you didn’t feel that you need to keep your promise to your father, or honor the treaty, by marrying me. I know it’s for the sake of Velesi and whatever, but how can I feel right about marrying a guy who’s in love with someone else? It’s not right, Tharin. The name ‘
m y l ove’ should be for the one you truly love,” I sigh heavily . T
he wind going out of me and I finish in almost a whisper, “and it shouldn’t be thrown around like it’s just another phrase , because it isn’t.”

I sit quietly and blurt out , “I want the kind of love that my parents had. When I was a little girl , my uncle told me once that when my dad met my mom, he was lost to her from that moment on. My dad would tell him of what a fierce warrior she was, but she was also kind and humble and she was the most beautiful woman he had ever known. It took a while for her to come around, but when she did, nothing anyone could do could keep them apart. My uncle said my mom was ‘special’ to my dad and he would move mountains for her.
He said that if my dad could have , he would have roped the moon and hand ed it to her . Kalis is your someone special, Tharin . A nd she deserves that name, not me.”

I feel like crying because at this very moment I realize I want so much to have what Kalis has. I want Tharin. But who am I but a h alfling who doesn’t deserve someone like him? They ha ve known each other forever.
I’m just someone who i s a duty to him . Someone he just met last night.
And I know above all else that Tharin will stand by his oath to his father . He will marry me while the love of his life stands by and is denied. I silently promise myself that that would never happe n. As soon as we reach the c lans I’ll find a way to leave and find Lucas, leaving Tharin to Kalis.
I’ve never been in love before . Never even had a first kiss , but what I feel inside hurts so much it takes everything I have not to cry. Is this what heartbreak feels like? If it is, it really, really sucks .

*

I sit quietly listening to Lily tell me about Kal is, her parents and most of all, about caring for me. I heard everything she said, and it’s strange, but I also heard everything she didn’t say. Somehow the Binding has enhanced the connection between us . When she’s finished , she sits quietly looking out the window, but I feel her misery. Does she love me and not know it? Or , are my own feelings getting in the way ? Am I reading her wrong?

No. I felt her pain when she told me I should give the name to Kalis. I also felt how sad she was about not being able t o take it for herself. If that’s the case, would she actually sacrifice her own happiness for mine? I watch her quietly as she becomes lost in her own thoughts. Despite her misery…
I feel ecstatic .
She loves me. I know she does, I just have to get her to realize it now. For the sake of not being hit again, I keep my happy thoughts to myself . It ’s an effort not to start whistling.

I promise, as soon as we reach Velesi, I will explain to her about Kalis .
I broke it off with her back at the abandon ed house in Vegas. When it happened, I expected tears or even rage from Kalis as everyone knows her temper, despite everyone’s effort to keep it from me. Instead, her face turned hard and she gave me a sardonic smile befo re cutting off the call. I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that.
Immediately , I realized my mistake. She deserve s better. When we reach Velesi I’ll go to her immediately and speak to her about it. I’m sure she’ll understand.
I owe Kalis that much , to explain to her in person.
Once I’ve settled things with her, I will tell Lily everything.

I glance back at Lily and all I want to do is to pull her close to me.
However, t o tell her at this point will only scare and confuse her even more because I don’t think she fully understands her own feelings. I don’t like seeing her miserable like this, but knowing s he’s miserabl e over me makes me feel…happy.
Then a thought hits me .
I quickly steal a glance her way.
I’m starting to know how Lily thinks , and if she thinks that she’s coming between Kalis and me, I have no doubt she’ll try and skip the wedding . She’ll leave me standing at the alter ―
alone . I sigh heavily, shaking my head at the thought. It would be exactly something she would do.
No way in hell is that going to happen .

It’s
another three, maybe four hours before we reach Snow College and the clearing.
I’m ho ping we’ll get thro ugh the portal before sunrise.
We’ll pull over at the next rest stop so we can change drivers .
I’ll get some much—
needed sleep before arriving at our destination. When I next glance over at Lily , her eyes are closed and her breathing is steady, her mouth slightly open. I reach out and take hold of her hand on her lap and gently rub the back of it with my thumb. She moves slightly, briefly squeezing my hand before her gentle grip loosens again to sleep. I don’t know how it happened, but in a blink of an eye , the girl I wanted nothing to do with, I now want everything to do with. Where at first I couldn’t care less if she stumbles and falls, I now want, like her father with his wife, t o move mountains out of her way, and hand her the moon so she can walk where she wants and see where she’s going.

John Michaels. I loved the man as an uncle and respected him as a friend. Did he and Senestra know at the time when they signed the treaty that Lily and I were meant to be together? Did Senestra see us in one of her dreams?
I s what ’
s happening now to Lily and me fate ? Or is it just by luck that I would find her and fall in love?

Whatever the reason, I do know this. Lucas, or Falsad, or whoever now possesses him, will die before I let him or anyone else come near Lily. I know Lily believes that Lucas is her brothe r , and the time will come when I’ll have to tell her the truth about him. For now, I’ll let her believe that she will find Lucas.
It’s the only real reason she agreed to come with us in the first place. I woul d be a fool to think other wise.

*

I
a wake to the sound of rain . I sit up and stretch as the rain hits the windshield like tiny fist s trying to break through the glass to get in from the cold. I look over at Tharin only to find Alorn sitting in the driver’s seat. He glances at me and nods toward the backseat. I turn and find Tharin sitting up against the door behind Alorn, with his long legs fully extended and propped up against the opposite door’s armrest . He’s using his coat as a blanket covering his upper body and part of his chin. His long hair is disheveled while his head rest s against the window , h is black beanie nowhere in sight. His soft snoring makes me smile , and he looks so young while sleeping . Like a kid of fifteen or so , with no worried frown on his face or hard stare of determination. I want to reach out and smooth his hair in place; and maybe adjust his hea d a bit as the position he’s in looks uncomfortable. I sigh and turn forward. To help control my breathing , I focus my attention back on the rain.

I stretch
my arms at the same time I try to stifle a yawn .
I sit back and continue to look out the window.
We’
re off the highway and driving through a small town. It must be late because most of the houses are dark. There are a few scattered homes with a porch light on here and there. There is also a spatter ing of individual rooms still lit , keeping insomniacs company all night. What can keep anyone awake in a quiet place like this is beyond me. I try to make out more of the scenery, but with the rain and the darkness, I can’t see through the faint light of the coming dawn.