The Billionaire's Jackpot: Betting on You Series: Book Four (23 page)

Drew pointed to the papers. “I think reading it gave me a much clearer picture than anything you could have said.” The words on the last email echoed in his head again and again and ripped at his soul.

“KJ, I will always love you. Brad”

She’d said they were only friends, but apparently Brad thought otherwise. How could he be with her, knowing his friend had been in love with her? If he hadn’t died, maybe Brad and Katherine would be together now and not him.
Why do I have to love the one woman I can’t have? I know she says they never slept together, but Brad had been in love with her. I’m in love with her now, but would she ever stop loving him? Would she resent me eventually for not being Brad? I don’t have Brad’s enormous, selfless philanthropic heart. She knew about his dreams yet kept them from us. Albeit for only two days, but if I hadn’t found the information, would she have told me?

Katherine stood and approached him. “Drew, you have to believe me. I was going to talk this through with you tonight.”

For the most part, he believed her, but he remembered what it was like growing up in a household of lies and manipulation.
It was hell.
He wasn’t sure either of his parents knew what the truth was anymore. If the animosity toward each other was duly recognized, then they appeared to be content. Drew had never allowed himself to be caught in such a toxic relationship, and no matter his feelings for Katherine, he wasn’t about to let it happen now. He knew she would’ve told him eventually, but he was sure it was going to be a slightly edited version, and that wasn’t going to work for him. “I do. But right now I have a lot to think about. I’m going to sleep on the couch tonight, so don’t wait up for me.” He began to walk out of the room, heading for the rooftop. He needed air.

She called out to him. “Maybe I should leave.”

He hated to admit it, but that thought had crossed his mind as well. He knew himself; if he sent her away now, he would resign himself to the fact they were over, and close the door to anything they might share in the future.
I don’t want to be my father.
Drew turned to her. “I didn’t ask you to leave, but with everything I learned tonight I think we both need some time to think, and we can talk in the morning.”

He didn’t wait for her to respond and walked out the door before he changed his mind. Any further conversation was probably going to end badly.
Tomorrow I will be able to think clearly.
Or so he hoped.

‡

T
he sound of
gunfire was pounding in her ears, screams for help coming from every direction. KJ couldn’t be everywhere at once. Holding direct pressure on an open chest wound she said, “Stay with me, you hear me? Come on. Stay with me.” There was so much bleeding, and if she couldn’t stop it, she would lose him.

Panic filled her. Even with all her medical training there was only so much she could do. Soon the sounds of screams were muffled by the chopper hovering nearby. “Do you hear that? You’re going to be okay. They are coming to take you to the hospital.”

There was no response. Searching for a pulse, she found none. She screamed at the top of her lungs. “Help me. Someone help me. He’s dying.”

KJ located the center of his chest and pounded hard once then twice and listened. Nothing. She did it again and again but with the same result. He was gone.
I am too late.
“No. No. No,” she shouted into the air.

Then she felt someone pull her away from him. “Katherine. It’s okay. I’m here.”

Crying she said, “No. No. He’s dead. I couldn’t save him. And it will never be okay.”

“Katherine, wake up. It’s only a dream. Wake up.” His voice calmed her while his strong arms held her.

“Only a dream?” she asked softly. The sound of gunfire drifted off in the distance then finally was gone. It was replaced by the sound of a rapid strong heartbeat. One that wasn’t hers.

Only another dream, thank God.
Her eyes fluttered open, and she leaned against the taut smoothness of Drew’s chest. He brushed her hair from her face as she clung to him, holding him tightly.
It’s okay now.

“You’re okay, Katherine. I’m here.” His voice lulled her into a more relaxed state.

Drew had told her he was sleeping on the couch, and now he was there, cradling her in his arms. No matter how good it felt, and how badly she wanted him there, she needed to understand what had changed. She could hardly lift her voice above a whisper. “Why are you here?”

Stroking her long hair, he answered her with a staid calmness. “Blossom woke me then bolted to the bedroom door. When I went to let her in I heard you screaming for help.”

Oh my God. They are happening again.
Two weeks without one felt like heaven. She had hoped she was passed that point, but who was she kidding? She knew better. Her experiences were going to be with her for her entire life. There was no chalkboard to be wiped clean and start fresh.
Some demons are mine for life.

It was a part of her life she hadn’t shared with anyone else except Brad. That was where their connection was. Though the reasons behind them were different, they both had seen so much pain in the world; at times it had become overwhelming. She’d worked to save lives, and he’d stayed long after, trying to improve them.

KJ was relieved Drew was there so she didn’t have to wake up to face it alone, but at the same time, she was embarrassed he had witnessed it at all. “I’m okay now, thank you.” Trying to pull herself from his arms, she failed because he would not release her.

“No, you’re not. Talk to me, Katherine. What was that all about?”

Many people asked because they wanted to hear the stories, not ever thinking what retelling them would do to her. She was thankful Drew wasn’t that type of person.
Drew still loves me but isn’t sure about us.
He wasn’t asking for a retelling for the same reasons as others before him.
His heart is in the right place. He wants to understand me better, and it has nothing to do with curiosity. And I love him even more for that.

Would sharing the details be wise? Would it help him understand more about her? It might help him understand how Brad and she had formed a solid friendship, and
not
been in love. If she truly loved this man the way she believed, then she needed to trust him to be there in the good times and bad.
And this is definitely one of the bad.

Drew didn’t have
a clue how Katherine could be as sweet and loving as she was after everything he had just learned about what she had experienced while serving overseas. Just hearing it sickened him, and she lived it for almost twelve years.

All the money in the world couldn’t erase what she had done or seen. What she needed was someone to love and hold her. He wanted to be that person, but was he what she needed? From the emails he read, it seemed she needed someone more like Brad. Why she hadn’t seen that was beyond him. Looking from the outside, he would have bet Katherine and Brad would have made the perfect couple.
Similar in so many ways
.

He tried to sweep the thoughts of Brad from his mind. While consoling her, Brad’s memory hung over them. She might not be saying the words out loud, but he knew exactly what she must have been thinking:
That Brad would understand if he were here
. The sad fact was Brad wasn’t and never could be again. Not for her or for him. All she had now was Drew, and he was a far cry from a good replacement. Brad had been generous and caring and loving. Drew was a risk-taker, selfish, and twittered on a fine line of what was legal and not. That’s fine if you are alone, but if you bring someone into your life, something has to change. He wasn’t sure he was capable of becoming the man she needed him to be. He also wasn’t sure if he could let her go either.
One or the other. I can’t have it both ways.
At least he shouldn’t if he truly cared for her.

His voice was firm and final. “You don’t have to do this alone, you know.” He cupped her chin, turning her face up to him. “No matter what happens between us, I will always be there for you.”

What he thought would bring comfort apparently didn’t. Instead of the warm smile he’d anticipated, Katherine blinked and looked baffled as their eyes met. She expected or wanted more from him.
Damn she deserved it. The
problem was, he wasn’t able to give himself fully. Not yet at least. He loved to gamble and this was his riskiest one yet. If she wasn’t willing to give him some time to work this out it could be all over.
I could lose her for good.

Drew adjusted them to lie back down in the bed while still holding her in his arms. “Sleep now. Don’t worry. I’ll stay here with you.”

Thankfully Katherine didn’t pursue the topic or put up any argument. She placed her head on his chest and slowly drifted off to sleep. Drew, on the other hand, couldn’t turn his mind off. But at least he knew what he needed to do in the morning.
One thing at a time.

‡

“S
he told you
the nightmares had practically vanished a few weeks ago, but you still wonder if she’s thinking of Brad? What the fuck is wrong with you?” Ross’s voice rose angrily.

Drew was put back a bit. He would’ve expected that to come from Trent, but Ross was the coolheaded one. He was anything but cool at the moment. “You don’t understand the connection those two shared.”

Jon chimed in. “Shared. That is all in the past. Leave it there, Drew. She needs you now.”

He couldn’t believe his friends weren’t more shocked at this announcement, and somehow they didn’t seem to have his back or see his side of things either. “You guys make this sound so damn easy. It’s anything but.”

Trent laughed. “Easy? Hell no. You have to work harder at your relationship than any job you’ll ever do. Well, that’s not really hard for you, Drew, but we understand.”

He was so tempted to knock Trent on his ass. They were more similar than either of them liked to admit. Somehow becoming a daddy had caused Trent to forget that. Instead of continuing on a topic he wanted to avoid, he tried to turn the focus back on Brad and Takes One. “Okay, guys, I can handle my own relationship, thank you. We were supposed to be talking about the emails Brad sent, outlining his vision. You can see we are way off the mark.”

“That we are,” Jon said. “I’m glad she shared these. You do know there will be no way to keep Takes One a secret if we move forward with this. It will be out there for everyone to see.”

They all nodded. Brad’s dream was huge, and he’d probably thought it would never come to fruition. If it weren’t for their financial success, it probably wouldn’t.

“So we finally have the answer we were all looking for; what are we going to do about it?” Ross asked.

“Pulling this off is going to take a lot more than the four of us,” Drew said.

Jon reminded him, “Seven and hopefully soon-to-be eight.” Drew arched his brow unsure of his meaning. “If you haven’t figured it out yet, Drew, you will soon.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Jon?” Drew demanded.

“Very simple, Drew. All of us cocky bastards have come to realize the value our other halves bring to the table. If you haven’t seen what an amazing woman KJ is, then you’re a fucking lost cause,” Trent teased.

“Better clean up that language, buddy. You’re a daddy now,” Drew shot back. He was joking with Trent, but inside he was hearing the message loud and clear. No one needed to tell him how special Katherine was because they’d only seen the tip of the iceberg. There wasn’t a day he questioned if he was lucky to have her in his life, the only problem—was she lucky to have him in hers?
Katherine, you got the short end of the stick. I’m no prize.
He didn’t come from a happy home and didn’t have the foggiest idea how to make one either.

Ross pulled them back on track. “I believe we are all in agreement to change Takes One once again. We’re talking about twenty million dollars each to get this up and running.”

“The money isn’t the issue. It will be a personal investment, a long-term investment,” Drew added.
Something I’ve never been good at.
It didn’t mean he couldn’t change for the right reason. “Once we start this, there will be no turning back, or at least not easily.”