The Biggest Part of Me (5 page)

“Oh, honey.  As much as I would love that, I’m already exhausted.  We still have a couple of hours left as it is.  We both need our sleep.”

Jane sighed.  “I guess you’re right.  Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Let’s have lunch.  Say I come by your office noonish?”

“Yes, okay.  Goodnight, Ed.”  Jane hung up the phone and sat staring into space.  Two different men.  Two very different reactions to them.  One made her feel content, one made her feel sensations she shouldn’t be feeling.  One inspired comfort, the other a nuclear explosion.  One was to be, another was not.  If Jane thought too much more about it, she knew that her mind would explode into a large jigsaw puzzle.  A toy metaphor.  How appropriate.

No more thinking! No more dredging up the past, she told herself.  Her last thought on the matter, as she got out her baked tilapia frozen dinner, was that some things were
better left just as they were.

Jason opened the door of his apartment overlooking Central Park.  He walked to his bedroom to change out of his suit and into a comfortable pair of jeans.  His thoughts were on her as he grabbed a cold beer from his refrigerator and settled in a recliner by his large picture window.  The wind swirled through the trees below.  Snow was predicted for overnight.  A storm was coming.  He had the same feeling in the pit of his stomach.  He could prevent it by simply choosing any marketing agency other then Patterson.  Then he wouldn’t have to see her, wouldn’t be distracted by her light but sensual perfume, her warm and genuine smile, her wide-eyed baby blues . . .  Jason shook himself.  No, he was determined to find the best marketing agency and if it happened to be Patterson and Jane, then so be it. 

How could I possibly still be attracted to Jane Kendall
? He asked himself.  It had been years since he’d seen her.  Sure he’d thought of her, but as time went by it had become a cloudy memory, like fog that had rolled in covering the brightness of the sun on a beautiful morning. 

Sure he could tell her the reason that he had disappeared from her life seven years ago.  But what would that prove?  She still had chosen a life without him.  She couldn’t wait to shed him and go to Europe, “touring the continent,” and then pursuing her career as a hotshot ad executive.  The ambition didn’t bother him.  He admired that.  It was the way she had dismissed him and left, leaving him feeling like a discarded shirt or—he looked at his drink—an empty bottle of beer.

Jason took the last swig of his drink as he watched the storm blow in, knowing that it paralleled his own life.  Feeling the chill through the window, he thought that maybe he should tell her everything, let her know just what he had done for her.   How he would love to hear a “thank you” or an “I’m sorry” or even a “You were right and I was wrong.”  No, he didn’t expect to hear that in this lifetime. 

The chill bit through his skin and brushed his bones.  It wasn’t the cold from the weather, however.  When had he become so bitter?  He sighed heavily.  Looking back, he knew he would have done the same thing all over again.  He had loved Jane with all his heart.  He had wanted her to have the life she dreamed about.  Now she did. 

How’s that working out for ya
? He asked himself.

Yes, apparently he still had feelings for her.  If Patterson was chosen for the CARL project he would just have to . . . what?  CARL was his project.  He could limit his time with her but the project might suffer.  He could assign someone else to head it.  Unthinkable.  No, he needed to man up.  Take responsibility.  Surely he could handle a hundred and fifteen pound little thing in heels.  His delusional feelings for her were something from the past, that’s all.  That part of his life was closed and put away forever. 

After his pep talk Jason stood and stretched, deciding to go do some work in his den.  Ah, something he was good at, unlike relationships.  He threw his bottle into the trash and stood staring at it for a few minutes.  Resigned he thought,
it would never work out between us.  Just let it go.

The next night, despite his desire to do some work at home, Jason found himself going to the opening of a new upscale Cuban restaurant accompanied by a casual girlfriend, Dana.  An attractive flight attendant, Dana would have been horrified to be thought of as a “casual” anything.  She was bright, vivid, and flashy.  Not in a trashy sort of way.  She was high fashion couture at its best.  Heads always turned when she walked by and she knew it.

Jason was bored.  Dana was a clever enough conversationalist, although her topics did seem to center on what she was interested in.  And she was pretty to look at.  However Jason was not the least bit romantically interested in her.  He knew that the guys at his fitness club, where he had met Dana, would have thought him completely incoherent, but it just wasn’t there for him.  But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t enjoy a night out with her.  It was just . . you know, casual.

Dana had called him up to invite him to the grand opening of a new restaurant near the Village.  This place was big news.  An elegant Cuban flavored gourmet restaurant.  You had to know someone to get a table.  Dana had somehow gotten them reservations.  When they got inside the restaurant, the hostess greeted them and led them to a quiet table in the back.  The ambiance was romantic.  The theme was a quiet Cuban plantation, complete with palm trees, sugar cane and tobacco plants.  On the wall behind them was a large mural of the Cuban mountainside.  A small band played soft Latin music adding to the calm, relaxing atmosphere. 

Jason was starting to feel better about coming.  Maybe a nice, quiet evening out would be good.  The stress and headaches involved with getting CARL ready was taking a toll on him, along with other pressing issues.

“This place is awesome, Dana.  How did you find out about it?” he said after they received their drinks.

“Isn’t it marvelous, darling?  I just happen to know the right people.”  Dana lifted her glass of a Cuban rum drink to her enhanced red lips.  Then said, “I’m glad you like it, Jase.”  The leggy, bleached blonde bombshell fluttered her eyelashes at Jason, glad that she had pleased him.

They ordered Arroz Con Pollo for Jason and Ensalada de Frutas for Dana.  As they sat enjoying the ambiance, Jason began to relax.  The feeling was fleeting, however, for his muscles tightened when he saw Jane and Ed come into the restaurant.

Dana noticed him staring at the entrance.  “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.  I just see someone I know.”  Jason couldn’t keep his eyes off her.  Jane was stunning in a royal blue, scoop necked silk dress.  The color looked good against her honey blonde hair.

The hostess led Jane and Ed into the dining room.  As they approached Jason and Dana’s table, Jane spotted him.  She stopped abruptly.  Ed bumped into her and holding her arms asked, “Jane, what is it?”

“It’s nothing.  Nothing.”  They continued to their table and as they passed Jason’s table Jane simply smiled and said, “Hi.”  The corner of Jason’s lips curled up slightly and he nodded.

The tables were not that far apart.  Jane was clearly distracted, shaking out her napkin and placing it on her lap, then twisting it around in her hands.  Her eyes kept darting to Jason’s table and back again.  Ed wasn’t sure what was going on.  He turned in his seat very discreetly to see where Jane’s attention kept going.  Sipping his water he asked, “So, who’s making you nervous?”

“I’m not nervous,” Jane said a little too quickly. She took a big drink of her ice water.  Then wanting to be completely honest she whispered, “That’s the president of Talbot Toys.  You know, um, my childhood friend.”  She noticed Ed’s eyes looking back at Jason’s table.  However, she knew he wasn’t looking at Jason.  She knew the look she saw in his eyes.  Any man looking at a drop dead gorgeous woman had that look.  She watched as his eyes dropped down and up.  Jane turned to look at the woman.  She wore a bright red dress, if you could call it a dress.  The already too short dress had a slit that went almost to her . . that was what Ed was looking at.  Jane felt dowdy and unattractive.  She drank more water.

“Your friend is a real looker, isn’t she?”

“That’s not my friend.  She’s his date.  And Ed Simpson unless you want those eyes popped out with my cocktail fork I’d suggest you put them back into their sockets and return them to our table!”

Ed wasn’t used to seeing a forceful side of Jane.  He liked it.  A lot.  Taking her hand and gently touching her fingers with his lips he said, “Jane, sweetheart.  How could you think that I could possibly see anyone here but you?”  Then he squeezed her hand and held it lightly on their table.

Jason watched them out of the corner of his eye.  Who was that guy?  It couldn’t be the fiancé.  Jane had much better taste than that.  He looked like an overachieving executive to him.  Like a monster executive.  Sorta like Frankenstein. 
Hey, that might make an interesting action figure—Executive Frankenstein
. Jason smiled genuinely for the first time that evening.

The meal was the worst of Jane’s life.  Not that the food was bad.  It was probably very good.  Jane couldn’t tell.  She couldn’t eat.  Midway through her meal, when she thought it couldn’t get worse, it did.  Jason and Dana had finished and walked over to their table.

“Hello, again,” Jason said casually.

“Yeah, fancy meeting you here.”  Jane drank more water, her fourth glass.

Ed stood.  “I don’t believe we’ve met.  Ed Simpson.”  Ed stuck out his hand to Jason.

“Jason Collins.  May I present Dana Pleshette.”

Ed took Dana’s hand and gently brought it to his lips.  “Delighted, Miss Pleshette.”

Feeling left out, Jane said, “Hi, I’m Jane Kendall.”  She felt unattractive all over again.  Dana smiled smugly at her and taking Jason’s hand in hers said, “How do you do.”

Addressing Ed and Jane, Jason said, “So, are you enjoying your meal?”  Looking on Jane’s plate he mentioned,  “I see you got the Arroz Con Pollo, too.”

“Yes, it’s very good,” Jane managed to say.

“You haven’t eaten very much of it,” Jason noticed.

“They gave me quite a lot.”

Ed decided to jump in.  “Hey, why don’t you two sit down with us and have some dessert?  I’d love to hear about this new project the Talbot Toy Company is starting.  I can’t get anything out of Jane.”

Please, oh please, oh please, no
!  Jane thought.

Of course, they sat.

Jason loved his new invention.  Although he didn’t want to go into details because of concerns of information leaks, he did tell Ed the company’s news release on the toy.  CARL was a combination robot and computer that would be geared towards children in time for the Christmas season.

Ed ordered four flans, Cuban Custard, and began talking about his favorite subjects—himself and his law practice.  After finishing his dessert, Ed reached his arm around Jane and whispered in her ear.  She smiled, looking back at him.  Jason felt his breathing become labored.  Why was she with this clown, letting him paw her?  Didn’t she have standards?  He could see right through this Ed Simpson.  He was nothing but a user.  Jason had also seen the lustful way Ed had looked at Dana.  Didn’t Jane see it?

Dana took Jason’s arm.  He wasn’t even aware of it.  Nor was he aware of the way Jane’s temper was flaring.  Did he like flaunting this woman in front of her?  It was like he was saying, “Look, Jane.  See how much better I can do?”  At that moment she hated Jason Collins.

“I hear that there might be a merger in the works for Talbot Toys in the next year.  Any tips on stock trading, Collins?”

“Why Mr. Simpson.  You know that’s illegal.  And here I had hopes that you were an ethical lawyer.  Guess it’s just an oxymoron.”

“I’m very ethical.  I also look out for myself . . . and my interests.”  Ed tightened his hold on Jane’s shoulder, knowing the look he had seen in Jason’s eyes when he looked at Jane

Jason noticed the movement.  “So, I guess congratulations are in order,” he said looking at Jane’s engagement ring.  “When’s the big day?”

“Well, we haven’t actually set the date yet.  We’re just enjoying the feeling of being engaged, right darling?” Ed rubbed Jane’s arm and looked at her. 

She tried to smile.  “Yes.”  Where was that waitress with more water?

“Well, it’s nice to know you have somebody, Janie,” Jason said more gently that he wanted to.  His eyes met Jane’s and probed.  With a frown on his face, Ed mouth “Janie?” to himself.

“Yes, I don’t know what I’d do without Jason,” Dana said rubbing her body against Jason’s.

“It’s wonderful when you find the right one,” Ed said absently, pulling Jane closer to him. 

Jane noticed something in Jason’s eyes as they both looked at each other—a deep sadness, that flashed for a split second and then was gone.  She broke the stare by looking into her lap.  “Ed, I have a headache.  I’d like to go now.”  Jane had to get out fast.  Her nerves were shattered.  She didn’t want to make a scene.  She stood ready to bolt.

“Of course, darling.  I’ve got medicine at home.”  Jason bit his tongue in fury over the idea of Jane going to Ed’s home or worse the idea that they could be sharing a home.  Meanwhile, Ed looked around for the waiter to get his check.

“Simpson, just help her.  I’ve got the check.”

“Very nice of you, Collins.”  He took Jane’s arm but didn’t leave before turning to smile at Dana.  “Miss Pleshette,” he said with a smile.  Jason thought he would be sick.