The Biggest Part of Me (17 page)

“You know, Jay, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”

“I know.  You’re mine too, Janie.”

Jane began to cry inserting hiccups every couple of seconds.  “I really don’t want to go to Europe, you know.”

“Of course, you do.  It’s all you’ve been talking about.”

“I don’t (hiccup) want to leave you.”

Jason was nearly undone.  He looked beyond her sloshed eyes to see the girl that he had fallen in love with.  Caressing her back he said, “I don’t want you to go.”

“Then why the hell am I going?  Why don’t we just get married and make love and have babies?”

Jason was stunned.  For the life of him, he couldn’t come up with a reason for not doing just that.  “Okay.”  He finished his drink and took Jane’s hand to leave.

“Hey, where are we going?” she asked.

“To get married.”  Jane smiled adoringly at him.

They drove to a sleepy little town in south Georgia, and found the Justice of the Peace who was a cousin of one of their friends from dinner.  Everything seemed to be in a fog for Jason.  The ceremony was brief.  Jason couldn’t remember one word from it.  He was too busy trying to remember his one line—“I do.”

Jane was, of course, smashed.  She looked dreamily at Jason and giggled.  Interestingly enough, she had no trouble remembering her one line—“I do.”

After paying the justice, Jason began to feel sleepy.  He suggested a motel and Jane giggled.  Heading out of town, they stopped and rented a room.

The next morning the sun slowly crept through the blinds onto Jason’s washed out face.  He opened his eyes and slightly lifted his head.  His head felt like a barrel with marbles rolling around banging into each other as he tried to make sense of the night before.  Jane still slept next to him.  Jason couldn’t help smiling at her soft breathing, her hair fanned out on the pillow.  Even in sleep he was in awe of her.

Jason got up to look around, going ever so carefully to slow the marbles in his head.  The small room was definitely nothing to write home about.  The walls were a dingy tan and the floors puke colored brown.  Besides the bed there was a small table with two chairs and an old dresser.  On top of the dresser Jason spied a piece of paper.  He picked it up to find that it was a marriage certificate.  He let out a loud breath.  It wasn’t a dream.  It was true.  They were married.

Full of emotions, Jason didn’t know which one to entertain.  He was in shock.  It had all happened so fast.  On the other hand, hadn’t that been what he wanted, what he had planned anyway? 

He looked at her, sleeping in the bed.  Jane’s lovely slim hand lay on the pillow near her head.  She needed a wedding ring, he thought.  He frowned.  In the rush of the wedding ceremony he had completely forgotten to give Jane the engagement ring he had for her.  That’s all right.  He would give it to her this morning.  And then later today, they’d buy matching gold wedding bands.  Maybe they would even have them engraved.  Nothing trivial like “Love U.”  Nothing overly dramatic like “I’d die without you.”  Just something from the heart.  Something like “Forever” or “Always You.”  Maybe “You’re the Biggest Part of Me.”  Yeah, that’s it.  Their favorite song, the essence of what he felt for her. 

Getting a wedding ring was the number one priority of the day.  That is, after they finished their honeymoon.  He grinned. 

He couldn’t wait to tell Jane’s brother Tom.  Now he could legally be a part of the family and no one could say he wasn’t.  Tom would have to accept his help in the Kendall family’s private matters.  Both families would probably be thrilled, although eloping would garner a good scolding from his parents and Jane’s mother.  But the families would surely approve.

Another emotion that Jason couldn’t deny was absolute contentment.  He looked over at her again.  This was what he wanted.  He wanted a life with her.  Remembering the words she had said to him the night before, he believed she wanted this life too.  They would have a good life together.  He couldn’t wait to start, he decided, as he slid back into bed with Jane. 

Jane moaned as he took her in his arms and held her.  She very slowly opened her eyes to see Jason smiling down at her.

“Good morning, darlin,’” Jason said softly.

“Jason Collins, I’m right here.  Do you have to yell?  Why am I yelling?  Ohhh, my head hurts.”

Jason held her tightly and kissed her forehead.  In the quietest voice possible he said, “Sweetheart, you have a king-sized hangover.”

“Oh, I’m never going to drink again.”  Then slowly looking around she asked, “Where are we?”

“In a motel in Georgia.”

“Georgia!  What the heck are we doing here?” she said as she sat up.  Realizing that she was naked, she shyly pulled the cover up to her chin.  Having caught up with her actions, Jane’s head decided to begin World War III.  She moaned and lay back down, covering her head with a pillow.

Jason paused.  She didn’t remember.  How could he tell this woman that he loved, that meant the world to him, that she had made a lifetime commitment to him last night . . . in a drunken stupor?  He felt worse than an idiot.  He felt supremely disappointed.  “What do you remember about last night, Janie?”

Jane thought hard.  It hurt.  “I remember having dinner at the Landing.  Then we tried out the different bars.  I’m sorry, by the way, for getting sick on your new shoes.”

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I remember the apple martini and then we had a ‘Bahama mama.’  And that’s were it ends.”  She groaned pitifully.  “I really need to get back to Jacksonville.  Mom and I are supposed to go shopping today for my trip.”

So, there it was, Jason thought, feeling ill.  So much for marriage, so much for a life together, so much for contentment.  Jane was eager to get away.  He wouldn’t stop her. “Jane, you stay in bed a little longer.  I’ll go find some aspirin and coffee and be back okay?”  He kissed her head.

“Thanks, Jay.  You always take such good care of me.”

And I always will
, he thought feeling hopelessly rejected.  After dressing, he sighed heavily as he folded the marriage certificate and shoved it in his pocket . . next to the engagement ring.

Stunned, Jane sat in silence for a long time.  Finally she whispered, “Jay, you really should have told me about that night.”  

“I know. “  Jason looked straight into her soul.  “But I wanted you to have everything you wanted in life.  You were so determined to go to Europe, get your degree, begin your career.”

She thought about this, feeling guilty about the secrets she was keeping from him.  “What did you mean when you said we’re not married anymore?” 

“When we got back, I had a law school friend of mine handle the paperwork to end the marriage.  I think he was going to Mexico to get us a quickie divorce.  Anything else would have involved our appearing in court.  I didn’t want to involve you.”

“Not involve me?  A marriage certificate with my name on it involved me, don’t you think?” Jane shouted. 

Matching her volume Jason said, “Yes it did, but you had no time to spend on frivolous things like that.”  Like me, he thought.  “ You were getting ready for your version of ‘European Vacation.’  I had to stay and get on with my life and find a . . .” 

“Find a what?” 

“Nothing.  I just got busy and assumed it was taken care of.”

“Well obviously it wasn’t”

Jason narrowed his eyes.  “What do you mean it wasn’t?”

“I mean there are no records anywhere that indicate a divorce or an annulment took place.  As far as the law is concerned, we’re still married.”

Jason looked straight ahead as the blood flowed out of his face.  “Oh my God,” he murmured.  “How do you know for sure?”

“Ed checked.”

“You mean ‘Executive Frankenstein.’” Jason sneered.

“What?”

“Never mind.”

Sighing and rubbing her forehead Jane said, “This is all too bizarre.  There has to be some loophole, something we can think of to . . . I don’t know, invalidate this marriage.”  She turned to look at Jason.  “I was drunk.  Doesn’t that count for something?”

“Not as long as the Justice of the Peace pronounces us married.  Sorry.”

“Who was the Justice of the Peace?  Maybe he wasn’t really legit?”

“Sorry again.  Do you remember Billy Thompson?”  Jane nodded remembering one of their friends that was at her birthday party that year.  “The justice was that cousin of his he was always bragging about.  He used to call that county ‘Hitched’ instead of ‘Hitchcock.’  Billy used to tell all the kids it was the place to go for a quickie wedding.”

“Well didn’t we need our birth certificates or something like that?”

Jason just looked at her blandly.

“Oh, I see,” she said.  “We were friends of Billy’s, right?”

“Bingo.  The extra twenty I slipped him didn’t hurt either.”

“Well.  You just thought of everything, didn’t you?” Jane snapped.

Irritated, Jason laid his arm against the back of the sofa and leaned towards her.  “No, I wasn’t thinking at all.  I was too much in love with you!”

Sighing and rubbing her forehead Jane said, “This is just crazy.  I can’t think.  I’m going home.”  She stood to leave but before she could move Jason stood and grabbed her arm.

“I know you may not believe this but I never wanted to hurt you.  I’ve always wanted the best for you.”  He looked deep into her eyes.  “I didn’t plan for this to be such a big mess.  I didn’t plan for us to suddenly be back in each other’s life.  But you have to admit that there’s still something between us.”  Jason’s voice was soft and sexy now as he said, “Every time I touch you my world tilts.  Every time I look at you I want to weep because you’re so beautiful.  I’ve never stopped wanting you.”  Jane was melting.  Her eyes told Jason of all the desire she still had for him.  “This mess doesn’t change any of that.”

This mess?  Our marriage?
  Jane didn’t care for Jason’s wording in the least.  Focused on the deception and the pain, she lifted her chin with an air of defiance and said, “Shall I send the divorce papers to your office or here?”

Annoyance burned in his eyes as he dragged her close.  The emotional pull of the past weeks, of being near her had finally caught up with him.  At that moment he decided.  No longer was he going to hide his deep feelings for her.  He finally had her back in his arms and by God he wasn’t ready to let go.  Sharply he retorted, “Not until I’m finished being married!”

Jason kissed her hard.  His hands reached around her waist pulling her closer.  His kiss was hot, demanding a response from Jane.  She tried to give him none.  It was impossible.  Slowly, she yielded to him, grabbing his shirt with her fists.  Their kissing was like a beautifully orchestrated symphony, twisting and turning their heads in perfect time together.  Jane knew it had been good with Jason before but never as urgent or hungry.  Breathless, Jason kissed her cheeks, her jaw, and her neck as he moved his hands up and down her slim body and then finally to her hips.  Before she could think, Jane’s fingers began running through his wavy hair. 

He wanted her with every fiber of his being.  Their mouths met again as Jason backed Jane through his apartment to his bedroom.  “I don’t know if this is a good idea,” Jane spoke breathlessly. 

Jason wanted to remind her that they were married but then thought against it.  Instead, he focused on kissing a few of the spots he remembered that drove her mad.  Jane moaned and knew she was a goner.  She started unbuttoning Jason’s shirt.  Her kisses now were urgent and deep.  She wanted him, just as much as he wanted her. 

Lowering her to the bed, Jason began undressing her.  He sighed her name at the sight of her.  The heat of the moment was too intense to be slow.  They feverishly took off remaining clothes and climbed under the sheets.  They clung to each other, matching each other’s pace.  All the sensations of the past came back at a much higher intensity.  Their need for each other drove them, along with another emotion that Jane didn’t want to think about.

She didn’t want to admit that she was still in love with him. 

Jane lay in Jason’s arms as he slept. 
He always did like to hold me afterward
, she thought smiling. 
This is insane
. Maybe if she slipped away and went home she could think things through.  No, they needed to talk about this.  Maybe now that the sexual tension was broken they could calmly discuss what to do. 

He still wanted her.  That was different than love.  After that night, their wedding night, she grimaced, they had said goodbye on the beach.  They hadn’t stayed in touch.  She didn’t know anything about his college graduation or how he started his company.  She had had no idea he was the president of a big toy corporation.  She didn’t even know that he lived in New York.  Is that love? 

What concerned her the most were her feelings toward Jason.  They were just as hard and strong as they had been years ago.  But they weren’t kids anymore.  They had lives and careers. 

Jane’s head hurt.  She quietly slipped out of bed to see if she could find aspirin.  Looking around for some clothes, the only thing she could find was Jason’s shirt.  She slipped it on and quietly left the room.  In the kitchen Jane looked through the cupboards until she found the medicine.  She put two aspirin in her mouth, and washed them down with a glass of water from the sink.  On the small island in front of the sink she noticed bread, ham, and mayonnaise.  Ah yes, the dinner of a bachelor.  He must be starving. 
Well, I can do better
.