The Big Bang! Theory - A fourth--and final--short, erotic encounter of the Judy Banger kind (15 page)

He led her to the bench and
waited for her to sit. For a moment, she was afraid he might drop
to one knee to propose, but instead he sat beside her. "Let's clear
up one misconception," he said, his tone as serious as she'd ever
heard it. "I'm not Prince Charming. I don't have a drop of regal
blood. My parents were working class, middle-America people. I was
smart enough and lucky enough to make a successful life for myself,
but I am...not...perfect."

"You never screwed a man to
death."

"I fucked my dead wife's
sister."

Judy's jaw dropped. "The
therapist?"

He nodded. "I'd reached
rock bottom. I felt dead inside. I thought being with her would
make me feel alive. Instead, I created a god-awful mess. When I
ended it and tried to distance myself from Eva's family, my in-laws
thought I was cutting them out of Fletcher's life. My
brother-in-law had been one of my closest friends." He shook his
head sadly. "In hindsight, I'm sure I latched on to Julie like a
drowning man grabs a buoy."

"You didn't love
her?"

"Eventually. She was a
lovely person. But if I'm being honest, I have to admit that I
never felt this kind of gut level connection that tells me I was
meant to spend the rest of my life with you. Does that sound
cliché?"

It sounded impossibly
perfect. She was Judy Banger. Life didn't suddenly turn wonderful
for people like her, offering up the answer to every single secret
dream.
Get real,
a
familiar voice in her head--her mother's voice--chided.

She looked beyond Wiley's
shoulder at the upright concrete slabs arranged like a miniature
Stonehenge. The setting sun cast long shadows that hinted at the
passage of time. She still felt young enough to be in love, hopeful
enough to enjoy years of travel, lust and adventure ahead of them.
What did Wiley say in his eulogy? "Embrace life fully and live as
Buddy did--with passion."

He got that
right
, she could picture her old friend
saying.

"It sounds like a proposal.
If you mean it, my answer is yes."

His grin was his answer,
followed by a kiss deep enough, sexy enough to stir Buddy's ashes.
He jumped to his feet and grabbed her hand. "We have to put in a
quick appearance at the restaurant, just to prove we didn't elope.
Then...your place? Or mine?"

Her bedroom? Why not? Fresh
paint, new floor, a new bed. Consecrated, so to speak, with
Jed.
A man she adored and would always
consider a friend. No bad juju. A clean slate awaiting a new
beginning with the man of her dreams.

When they reached the car,
his late wife's convertible, she asked him to hold off starting the
engine while she made a call--a Face Time call.

"Hey, Judy, is Dad with
you?"

"Right here," Wiley said,
putting his head next to hers.

"Fletcher, we need a
favor."

He made a face. "You're
eloping and you want me--"

She laughed. "No, you
goose. If..." Who was she kidding? "
when
we tie the knot, you and Lewis
will be with us. But we do need some...um...quality time
alone."

"Oh. Got it. So, where are
you taking her, Dad? Sorry Sexcapades isn't open." He'd confirmed
in a group email that he and Lewis had decided to go with Judy's
suggestion for the name of their new business. "Maybe for your
honeymoon."

"I'll take her anywhere she
wants to go," he said staring deeply into her eyes. "I've heard
Iceland is nice."

Laughing, Judy blew kisses
to Fletcher. "We'll call you in the morning."

They made the one-hour
drive in forty minutes, laughing, joking and touching like horny
teens. She moved her car to park the convertible in the driveway.
Neither could wait to put up the top. Then Judy dragged him down
her hallway. She paused in the doorway to turn on the
light.

Wiley peaked over her
shoulder. "Are you looking for ghosts?"

Her throat closed up. "No.
I'm just not sure I deserve this. I'm afraid something will go
wrong."

His smile could have melted
the candle on her nightstand. "Do you know what I tell a first time
offender who deserves a second chance?"

First time? How many times
have I messed up?
"No."

"Your past is now behind a
wall of glass. You can see it, but you can never relive it or
change it. The future, on the other hand, is wide open, with
nothing blocking your way as you move forward."

Judy looked around. If she
half-closed her eyes, she could almost see her room as it looked
when Buddy was alive. She could picture herself, too. Sorta. She
definitely wasn't the same woman she saw in the mirror every
morning. "The glass gets hazy over time, doesn't it?" she
asked.

He grinned and pulled her
into his arms. "That's what photos are for. Your mother has the
right idea--we only need to keep the ones we like." He nodded
toward the grouping of framed family photos she'd taken when her
mom refused to hang them in her new place. "Your willingness to
forgive is astounding, Judy." He kissed her sweetly, eyes open,
unblinking. "Despite everything, you love your mother and somehow
manage to overlook her shortcomings. That takes a big
person."

"My parents weren't
perfect, but who is?"

"Not me," he said gruffly.
"But I promise to love you for as long as I'm
breathing."

"I love you, too." She led
him to her bed. "All this serious talk is seriously messing up my
plan to make up for lost time. Can we f--?"

He cut off the word with a
kiss as he pulled her backwards to land body-to-body on top of him.
"First, we're going to make love. After that...anything's
possible." The naughty twinkle in his eyes made her heart skip a
beat. "Did I see a tawse sticking out of your picnic basket that
night at the hotel?"

Judy's surprised laugh
quickly changed to a moan of desire. Clothes flew. Body parts were
sucked and licked and set on fire. Did it matter they had more than
a few miles on their respective odometers--not to mention a few too
many drivers? No. Together they could flip off the world and cry,
"Screw senility. We're having fun." And together they were going to
live one bang up life!

The End

~~~

Epilogue

"A white wedding dress? Are
you kidding me, Pru? I'm old. This is my second wedding. I can't go
the whole virgin gown route. What will people say?"

"Since when do you care
what anybody says?"

Pru had a point. In the six
months she and Wiley had been
dating
--a euphemism for making love
like newlyweds, buying a condo together and planning a wedding,
they hadn't consulted anyone for advice, and that included Fletcher
and Pru. The latter's nose was a wee bit out of joint, hence Judy's
decision to make Pru her maid of honor.

Judy studied the gown Pru
had picked out--a strapless, form-fitting top attached to a virtual
mountain of poufy fabric. Her mother probably could have identified
the material, but Mom wasn't due back from her Wild Herry Women
cruise for another week. Judy's sister couldn't get over how well
Mom had adapted to her new situation.

Not that Nancy had time to
worry about Mom. She and Pete were house hunting in Alaska,
although they hadn't ruled out Florida as a retirement destination,
either. Mom remained philosophical about her elder daughter's
sudden rootlessness. "She'll come back down to earth when she runs
out of money."

A problem Wiley assured
Judy they'd never have to worry about. "I
did
buy Intel."

"You like this dress?" Judy
asked.

"I do. It's perfect for
you. But what do I know?"

"You know a lot. You're a
Mensa type, remember?" She held it to her chest. "The bustier look
is fun."

Pru lit up. "I know, right?
And considering how you and the judge met, there's a sort of
full-circle feel to it."

Judy might not have wanted
to remember every detail of the night she and Wiley met, but since
their passionate love life knew no boundaries that she'd been able
to discern--other than exclusivity, which was to be expected since
they couldn't get enough of each other--she knew he'd get a kick
out of this subtle nod toward the role-playing side of their love
life.

"Okay. I'll try it on. Do
you know what you're going to wear?"

Pru nodded. "Black. Simple.
Severe. Sexy, of course, but not overt. Since some of Fletcher's
regulars will be invited to the wedding, I figure this will be as
good a time as any to introduce myself." She lifted her blouse to
flash a new jaguar tattoo prowling around her mid-section. "Don't
forget. From now on, I'm Rue, not Pru. There's simply no way to
make Prudence sound anything but conservative and boring. Rue, on
the other hand, has a bit of mystery and danger to it."

Judy didn't have the heart
to tell her the name also belonged to an adorable character in the
Winnie-the-Pooh books, although Roo, a baby kangaroo, spelled his
name differently.

Judy changed quickly. She
was supposed to meet Wiley in ten minutes and if she failed to
appear at their designated meeting spot, he would come looking for
her. She leaned over to position her still ginormous boobs into the
generous cups of the built-in bra. To her surprise, she didn't
spill out too badly.
Must be those ten
pounds I lost.
And the zipper even glided
past her waist without a tussle. She gathered up the miles of
frothy skirt and backed out of the dressing room. "Hey," she said,
before turning around. "I think this is the dress."

"Me, too," a deep voice
said. "But I like what's in it best."

Judy startled, nearly
tripping over her train. "Wiley," she exclaimed. "What are you
doing here?"

"Seeing the bride before
the wedding is bad luck," Pru said, adding a scolding motion for
good measure.

"I plan to see the bride
every hour of every day before the wedding. Luck can take a flying
leap."

Pru crossed herself--even
though Judy knew she didn't have a religious bone in her body. "Why
are you here, Judge? Judy, why is--?" She stopped. "I just realized
that together you are Judge Judy." She laughed with genuine mirth.
"I crack myself up."

"I'm here to take my bride
to pick up our rings and our new motorhome."

Judy's heart did a little
flip. The rings were lovely, but their new motorhome was a work of
art. Their honeymoon journey was sketched out on a physical map and
ready to plug into the RV's navigational system. Eventually, every
major bucket list item between them would be addressed. But, for
their honeymoon, Judy got to pick. "Yellowstone, Devil's Tower and
Mt. Rushmore, here we come." She pivoted to return to the dressing
room, tripped over a hunk of fabric and would have fallen if Wiley
hadn't been there to catch her.

And since they were already
in a clench, they kissed...until Pru tapped Judy on the shoulder.
"This isn't Sexcapades. Come on, already. This wedding isn't going
to plan itself. Do you want to get married or not?"

Judy and Wiley exchanged a
grin. Actually, the wedding was all show for their family and
friends and society at large. They'd eloped three days after Wiley
proposed. A simple exchanging of heartfelt vows before the judge
who mentored Wiley in his early years on the bench. "We should tell
her," Wiley whispered after Pru drifted away.

"We can't. It would break
her heart. Pru needs the drama to feel included. In the past, she
was the one who led the jet-set life. Now, she's going to work
fulltime for Fletcher while I'm off on my honeymoon. I have to give
her the wedding. Consider it a reverse gift."

Wiley shrugged. "If you say
so. And Fletcher? We're not telling him because..."

"You promised he'd be there
with us when we married. He's your best man. You should hear him
talking about the bachelor party he's going to throw. I don't want
to disappoint him."

Wiley helped her to turn
around so he could unzip the dress. His lips plundered her
neckline, trailing down her spine. "You know, you're killing me,
right?" he asked. His warm whisper made her melt against him. "It's
taking every bit of willpower I have not to close the door and make
love to you right here."

She rubbed her tushie
against his erection. "Normally, I'd say bring it on, big boy, but
getting caught with your pants down... in a wedding
boutique...doesn't sound like the best way to end your legal
career." She spun around and looped her arms across his shoulders.
"Two more weeks and you'll be free."

"Two more weeks and we'll
be married--in public."

"Two more weeks and Wiley
Canby and Judy Banger-Canby will be setting off on the journey of a
lifetime."

He smiled and kissed her.
"I can't wait. Oh," he added, "I almost forgot. The bike shop
called. Our wedding presents from Fletcher and Lewis are
in."