The Bex Factor (22 page)

Dad stares at Mum for what seems like a fortnight, crunching his empty wine cup into a little white ball. ‘I think if Sue says she can walk, then you should let her do it.’

‘Listen, Sue,’ hisses Nikki. ‘You don’t want to let sonny boy down, do you? If you walk on to that stage looking like every other middle-aged mother in the country, you
won’t be doing Matt any favours. But if whatsherface pushes you on in that wheelchair, you’ll be giving him just the boost he needs. Do you understand what I’m saying?’

‘Oh I understand all right,’ says Mum.

‘Let’s ask your son, shall we?’ says Nikki, stepping in front of me and flashing her teeth. ‘Trust me, Matt, it’s for the best. And I’m sure young Twilight
would say the same thing. Come on now, spit it out. You want your mum to ride in the wheelchair, don’t you?’

Hospitality falls silent. Even the flatulent baby stops gurgling for a second. Every head in the room seems to turn towards me as I nod half-heartedly and whisper, ‘Yes.’

‘Idiot,’ mutters Bex.

‘All right, then,’ says Mum. ‘If that’s what you want, Matthew, wheelchair it is.’

I can’t bear to look at her, but I still feel Mum’s sad blue eyes burning into the back of my head. All she wanted was a bit of dignity. She doesn’t deserve any of this. A
surge of anger nearly knocks me sideways when I realise that the person who put me in such an impossible position is purring like a pussycat.

‘Perfect,’ says Nikki, ‘because as I was just saying to Matt here, you have nothing to fear from Ms McQueen. Take my word for it, it will all be over when the fat lady
sings!’

Bex

‘I think I’ll be getting off,’ says Mr Layton.

‘Not sticking around to watch my television debut then?’ says Sue, smiling.

‘Don’t think so,’ he says, dropping some sandwiches into a plastic bag. ‘Look, I’m really sorry about all this. I just thought I might be able to get some work out
of it.’

Sue is nibbling a sausage roll. ‘It’s not your fault, Mel.’

‘You will be all right, won’t you?’ he says.

‘I’ll be better than all right,’ says Sue. ‘In fact, believe it or not, I’m feeling more positive than I have for a long time. You take care now.’

Mr Layton kisses her on the cheek and scuttles to the door. ‘I’ll call you as soon as it’s over.’

‘So what do we do now?’ I say, when the door closes and it’s just the two of us.

Sue points at the crackling monitor. ‘Watch the show, of course. What else can we do? You wouldn’t get me another sausage roll, would you, Bex?’

‘You know they’re not organic, yeah?’

‘No, but you’ve got to admit they’re pretty moreish.’

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the first part of the show flies by. We have a good old giggle spotting Mum and Dad in the studio audience, and Kyle and Emily make silly faces
every time they realise they’re on camera. And I can’t help wetting myself when the worst acts from the first auditions (the beat-boxers in their chicken outfits, the guy from Liverpool
who sounds like a sick cat, that albino nurse who thinks she’s Madonna) sing ‘Wannabe’ and Justin puts on a pair of fluffy earmuffs.

Archie the dog might be dead cute, but I feel like throwing-up when they show Twilight sticking her tongue down Matthew’s throat in slow-motion. And Sue goes all quiet when Elizabeth
McQueen starts singing ‘Three Times a Lady’ and she realises that Matthew’s up next.

‘You don’t have to do this you know,’ I say. ‘We could do a runner if you like.’

‘No, I’ve got to. It’s what Matthew wants. I’ve made his life difficult enough as it is.’

‘But . . .’

Even though the judges are dead snotty about her, the studio audience loves Elizabeth McQueen as much as Twilight who was as disgustingly gorgeous and talented as ever. The trouble is it’s
really hard to hate her when she tells Willow that the doctors are considering switching off her mum’s life support machine.

Right now, I don’t even want to look at Matthew, but I can’t help noticing how nervous he is when the lights go up and he’s sitting in the model of a spaceship with his
guitar.

Halfway through ‘The Final Countdown’ a girl in black leggings and a headset arrives in hospitality. ‘OK, guys, we’re almost ready for you. When Willow starts the
interview, that’s your cue.’

Sue Layton looks almost as pale as Twilight. ‘This is it, then,’ she says, squeezing my hand. ‘I thought he might have . . .’

‘Yeah,’ I say, squeezing her back. ‘I know he’s your son, Sue, but this is well out of order.’

The audience and the camera cuts to Kyle and Emily pointing at their
I’m a FaMattic
T-shirts and doing a victory dance.

The judges’ comments are nearly as good as for Twilight.

Jesamène
: World class singing, world class hair.

Brenda
: Tonight’s the night the boy became a man.

Justin
: I think we’ve found ourselves a major new recording artist.

Willow leads Matthew to the side of the stage. ‘Wow, what incredible comments. So come on, Matt, we’ve heard from Elizabeth and Twilight – tell us why
you
should win
The Tingle Factor
.’

‘OK, guys,’ says the girl in the headset. ‘This is it – you’re on!’

Matthew stares down the barrel of the camera and licks his lips.

‘Wait a minute,’ I say. ‘I just want to hear this.’

‘I think he’s a bit overwhelmed, don’t you?’ says Willow. ‘Don’t worry, take your time, gorgeous. You’re among friends here.’

‘We love you, Matt,’ squeaks a voice in the audience.

Matthew sticks a strand of hair in his mouth and starts sucking.

‘See what I mean?’ says Willow. ‘Now come on, Matt, tell us all why you should win
The Tingle Factor
.’

‘I shouldn’t,’ says Matthew.

‘There’s modesty for you,’ says Willow, her eyes darting all over the place. ‘Now come on, Matt.
Isn
’
t there someone you want to introduce to
us
?’

‘OK, guys,’ says the girl with the headset. ‘I think you’d better get out there.’

‘
No
,’ says Matthew at exactly the same time as I do. ‘I don’t want to introduce anyone. I don’t even want to be here. In fact, I never really wanted to be
part of this soulless concoction of anti-talent in the first place.’

Willow Strawberry bares her sparkling teeth. ‘That’s what we love about you, Matt. You’re such a —’

‘They told me to say it was the best day of my life,’ says Matthew. ‘But it isn’t, it sucks. All I ever wanted was to play my own music. All
they
ever wanted was a
freak show.

‘Well, they can stuff it, because I quit.

‘Sorry, Mum. I should never have asked you to do this. You probably won’t believe it right now, but I’m . . . I’m really proud of you. Maybe one day I’ll be better
at showing it. I love you, Mum.

‘And you’re right, Bex, I’m an idiot.’

I hand Sue a paper napkin and we dab our eyes together. Matthew grabs his guitar and runs off the stage.

Matthew

Nikki Hardbody is waiting for me in the corridor, arms folded, her permanent smile having temporarily disappeared. ‘Congratulations – that was the most
comprehensive professional suicide I’ve ever witnessed.’

‘I’m sorry,’ I say. ‘It felt like the right thing to do.’

‘Oh well.’ Nikki shrugs. ‘No harm done.’

She doesn’t sound half as furious as I thought she would be. ‘I don’t understand I —’

‘You didn’t really think we went out live, did you? There’s a thirty-second delay. I had a feeling you’d go all Mother Teresa on me, so I went straight to the
commercials. Did you know they cost ten grand a second? The Conservatoire psychologist is just explaining your “crippling self-esteem issues” to the studio audience, and when we go back
on air we’ll just say you’ve been voted out. Twilight will win it by a country mile after Ugly Betty sings that horrendous folk song – which is what I’ve been praying for
all along.’

‘You said you were rooting for both of us.’

‘Experience has taught me that it never hurts to have a fallback position,’ says Nikki, smiling again. ‘Now get out of here before I call security. And take the Addams family
with you. Oh and Matt?’

‘Yes.’

‘Don’t start shooting your mouth about this, or we might have to dig out that contract you signed. I’d hate to see your poor mother end up on the street.’ She blows a
kiss and wiggles her fingers at me. ‘
Ciao
.’

But there’s one person I have to see before I go. Twilight’s dressing room isn’t locked any more. I haven’t got time to mess about, so I knock and walk straight in.

‘What are
you
doing here?’ says Twilight, adjusting her black stocking tops.

‘I quit the show.’

‘Yes, I know that,’ she says, ‘but what do you want?’

I squeeze the neck of my guitar and try to explain. ‘Just because I’ve left the show, doesn’t mean that we have to stop seeing each other.’

Twilight slips in her fangs.

‘Surrey isn’t the end of the world, you know. And it doesn’t have to be the end of us.’

‘
Us?
’ says Twilight, with a shrill laugh. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘I know you wanted to wait, but now we don’t have to.’

‘Let’s get this straight, shall we?’ says Twilight. ‘I’m not the least bit interested in spotty teenagers. There is no
us
, and there never will
be.’

‘But we . . . kissed. Why would you —?’

‘Nikki said it was a sure-fire vote grabber,’ says Twilight, baring her fangs at me in the mirror. ‘Come to think of it, if I’d known what I know now, I needn’t
have bothered. And just for the record, Matt, you’re a terrible kisser.’

Suddenly Twilight’s face is a mask of horror.

‘There you are, Victoria,’ booms a voice I seem to recognise from somewhere. ‘I’ve been looking everywhere for you.’

‘Mummy,’ says Twilight. ‘I thought you were in still in Spain.’

‘Yes, I can see that,’ says the lady in the purple cardigan.

‘Wait a minute,’ I say. ‘
You
’
re
her mum? I thought you were in a coma.’

‘Never had a day’s sickness in my life,’ barks the woman in purple. ‘Now, young lady, I think you’d better explain yourself.’

‘How did you know where I was?’ says Twilight.

‘Cousin Hildegard called to say she’d accidentally caught a glimpse of you when she turned on for the news. And thank heavens she did. I would never have recognised you in that
obscene get-up. So I phoned your headmistress, and after expressing her delight that I’d recovered the power of speech, she told me everything. How dare you forge my signature like
that?’

Twilight doesn’t cry as gracefully in real life as she does on the telly. ‘You don’t understand, Mummy. This is what I want to do with my life.’

‘Don’t make me laugh, Victoria,’ says her mum. ‘A girl like you wouldn’t last five minutes in the cut-throat world of entertainment. Besides which, you have all the
talent of a lump of wood.’

‘That is so not true,’ says the person standing in the doorway. ‘She’s well talented.’

And I can’t tell you how pleased I am to see her.

‘Dad’s called a couple of taxis,’ says Bex. ‘Come on, Matthew. Let’s get out of here.’