Read The Better to Eat You With: The Red Journals Online
Authors: Cara Villar
I
blinked, suddenly realizing that he'd fallen silent, and I was just staring at him.
His mouth, with his slightly fuller lower lip, tugged up at one side, hinting
at his dimples. I flushed right to my hairline and looked away, breaking the
spell.
"My
instincts tell me you're Vampire, but that blushing?" He snorted. "Vampires
don't blush."
"I
don't blush often. Feel privileged." I tugged my top again.
After a
moment of quiet, he softly asked, "Those scars—"
"Are
not a conversation I will have with a stranger," I interrupted.
He
nodded, as if understanding. How could he understand? From what I've learned
over my long life, Immortals never retained their turning scars. They always
healed, becoming perfect in their frozen form. Yet, mine stayed. The wolf
mauling and Vampire bite, permanently reminding me of how foolish a girl I had
once been. So foolish.
"You
could've just asked me," he said then.
I looked
at him. "Asked what?"
"Asked
what I was doing there."
I made a
very unfeminine sound at that. "In my experience, male Immortals don't
tell little girls shit." Then I added, "What were you doing
there?"
He went
up on his elbows. "That's incredibly stereotypical, little girl, and I
can't tell you yet." His eyes sparkled like bright, bright emeralds, and
his tone was almost... condescending in its amusement.
Growl.
I blinked
once, slow and cool. "How old do you think I am, old man?"
He arched
a dark brow, and it drew my gaze before I could stop the flicker. His lip
curled on one side, and my insides turned to putty. "Why do I feel like
I'm being drawn into a trap?"
I rolled
my eyes. "Fine. I'll go first." He dropped back onto the bed, and for
a moment, I was struck by the oddly intimate nature of our conversation.
"Purely speculating," I began, tugging my top even tighter around me,
"but I'd say you were most definitely in your fourth century, maybe on the
down slope into your fifth."
His eyes
bloomed from a deep sparkly jade to an incandescent emerald shot through with
lime. All I could do was stare, transfixed by the show of color, so engulfed I
almost missed the flicker of surprise in those fascinating depths.
"Clever
little thing, ain't ya, pet?" he murmured, eyeing me with renewed intent.
I
grinned. "Now, if I had a penny."
"There's
nothing about you that would tell me you're anything but mortal. Only…" He
turned suddenly towards me, so quick I could only hiss in a breath as he
pressed his face into my neck.
I utterly
stilled as cool breath whispered against my skin, his lips and nose brushing
over the sensitive area just below the ear. My breath eased out of me as my
heart started dancing so hard in my chest. I was pretty sure he could feel it
where he hovered over me, his hand braced on the bed at my side, his arm coming
over me in the most intimate position I'd been in with a guy in a very long
time.
Then he
murmured softly, "Only you smell like a different time."
My hands
gripped tightly to my top, tingling with the urge to grip him. "Then
hazard a guess, Vampire."
He lifted
his head, dark waves of hair falling over his forehead. "I don't think
there's enough pay in the world for that kind of hazard."
Despite
myself, I laughed. "Go on. I promise, I won't be insulted."
He eyed
me suspiciously for a moment, and then tilted his head in thought.
"Maybe...maybe a half-century or so."
My mouth
dropped open in mock-horror. "Seriously?" If I went by his expression
alone, I am pretty sure that, were he mortal, he'd have been glowing bright red
right then. "Tell me; are you this suave with every woman? Or am I
special?"
Felix
frowned and rolled back to the side. "You are not like normal women,"
he mumbled.
"So
I am special!" I gasped. "I know a few people who totally owe me
money right now." A bark of laughter, and when I looked, a confused sense
of surprise flashed across his perfect features. I couldn't help it; I grinned.
"I'm just shocking the crap out of you today, ain't I?"
He arched
a brow at me, all cool arrogance and dark promise. "Indeed," he
purred, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel it right down to my toes.
"So how old are you?" he asked.
I
snorted, all indignant femininity. "Like I'm gonna tell you." I
glanced at him. "Suffice, as you say, I'm not a new bloom."
More
quiet moments, and I glanced at him, only to find he was watching me with that
predatory intense focus from before. He barely moved, like the perfect granite
statue, beautiful and deadly, and something in my chest tightened. Oh, to possess
a man with such potent energy, to have it curled around you with that same
dangerous rapture as if you're the only thing in his world right then. I knew this
male could kill me, and not just in the physical sense.
Foolish
girl...
Suddenly,
he held his hand out to me. "Felix Grant."
I looked
at his hand, and then at him, trying to ignore the flush creeping up my neck at
his slow, wicked grin. If I shook his hand, I was pretty sure I was effectively
throwing my lot in with this coven, getting myself into a situation I didn't
fully understand, and in actual fact, agreeing to being held prisoner. I had a
feeling that, my life, my fate, wasn't going to be entirely my own anymore,
and, really... was that so bad?
If
only for a moment...
For
years, decades even, I'd hunted, acquired, emailed, killed, handed over and
taken money. Then at the end of it all, I had gone home, locked all my doors,
closed all my curtains, and curled up in bed. Alone. Always alone. I'd been
alone for so long, I'd forgotten what it was to be around people —not just
floating through them looking for my next pay check. I had friends, but they
were in the bounty hunter business like I was, and our down time was literally
used to recover. Few and far between wasn't enough for me, and not thinking
about it anymore was, if I admitted it only to myself, eating away at me.
I was
sick of this existence of just me, the freaky hybrid. I wanted more, and a part
of me wondered if Felix was offering that.
Only
for a moment...
I chewed
my lip, pretty sure there were more ramifications to the decision than I could
think of, but as I stared at his hand and his eyes, at the patient, playful way
he waited and watched, him the predator and I his prey, I knew right then that
there really was only one outcome to the decision he was placing before me.
"Red
Riding Hood." I shook his hand, and grinned at the startled expression on
his face. "Surprise." So much for anonymity.
Sunrise
was an hour away. The Vampire in me could feel its glow above the trees
surrounding the house as I stood on the balcony of Porcia’s room. I held the
pieces of my ripped top in my hands and the collar of a fluffy cotton robe
close about me against the cold dawn Porcia’s rambling voice inside her room a
faint background hum. After arguing—and, okay, bargaining too—with Felix to get
my phone back, I’d finally conceded that I wouldn’t be getting it back before
‘things settled down’, as he put it. I had no idea when that would be, but in
the name of peace I had let it go, for the time being.
Apparently,
‘settled down’ wouldn’t be until this Vince bloke arrived. So, I’d taken a
shower, standing under the hot spray longer than necessary, but unable to leave
it, lost in thoughts of Vampire politics and how drastically they will affect
my life. Already, I felt lost in the big house in the middle of nowhere, amidst
people so familiar with each other. I had only two real friends in the whole
world and saw them rarely enough as it was. What did I know of Vampire
politics?
Because
of a chance encounter with two immortals some three hundred years ago, my life
was suddenly not mine. I’d wrestled it back over decades, only to have another
Immortal unravel it again. I wouldn’t be going home to my bed. I wouldn’t be
checking my emails or informing clients. I wouldn’t even have to worry about
the sun breaking into my room through my too-short drapes.
No. I
would be sleeping in a bed that wasn’t mine, in a room in someone else’s home,
in clothes that were someone else’s. I would eat food that I hadn’t earned and
drink juice I hadn’t bought myself. I felt kept, like a pet, and the feeling
made me, God forbid, resentful.
Either that
or I was in borderline freak-out territory.
It had
only been an hour since I’d shaken Felix’s hand, and already, I was longing for
the solitude of my previous existence. These people were kind, talkative,
engaging me in conversation because, I think, they still saw how wary I was. Porcia,
in particular, had a keen aspiration to talk my ears off, and continually
brought up how I had socked Felix with a silver baton.
I cringed
every time.
I felt
bad for having attacked him unprovoked, despite the natural urge to remove all
trespassers on my territory. Scowling, I briefly wondered if some rogue
whatever had wondered into Summerville and decided to stick because I wasn’t
there to kick them off my patch. I wondered if Osiris would let me use his
phone, or even give me back mine, and let me make some calls.
Who am
I kidding?
Felix
seemed to notice my discomfort every time Porcia brought up the unprovoked
attack and tried to lighten up the subject with comments like, “You could have
just asked me,” and “I should have known not to trust the least suspecting,”
and “You punch like a girl.”
The last
one I found particularly offensive, and had aptly responded, “So do you!”
Porcia
had burst out laughing so hard, Frost had had to hold her up.
However,
both males had promptly been dismissed at the threshold of Porcia’s room with a
door slammed in their faces. I’d only had a moment to feel smug before Porcia
had started talking. After staring at her mutely for all of thirty seconds, I’d
made a beeline for the large French doors on the far side of the room. The cold
was eating away at my bare feet and wet hair, my scalp tingling with the chill.
“Red,
darling?” Porcia called me, taking a break from her constant stream of gossip
about the missing Immortals—a Vampire-Made Naiad this time taken in Europe. “I
think I have something that will fit you.”
Sighing,
I turned away from the brightening sky, and headed inside. “Can’t I just go get
some of my own clothes?”
“It’s
late,” was her negligent response.
I
scowled. That’s all anyone had said.
The room
I stood in was distinctly Porcia, or what I imagined her to be —pastel hues,
silk and lace. Her furniture, from four-poster bed, to vanity case, to walk-in
wardrobe, was white and antique-ish looking with flowers engraved in sections. They
were quaint and girlish, and I hoped my room for the night wasn’t anything like
it.
Everything
screamed pretty-little-innocent-spoilt-rich-girl-brat with the overwhelming
scent of I-bathe-in-roses-and-champagne perfuming the air. I don’t think it was
any kind of air-freshener or even perfume. I think it was just her…much like
Felix’s clean, spicy scent.
I wonder what his room looks like.
The room
was also oppressively hot after the chill of standing on the balcony, but I
soon forgot it when I saw what Porcia had found for me.
Deep,
green silk, like the moon on the sea at night, shimmered in the false light of
her lamps. I stared wide-eyed at the little camisole and shorts, the top she
held up by its thin straps to show off the lace detailing across the chest, the
shorts styled similarly lying on the bed. It was the tiniest set of pajamas I
had ever seen. Especially, when compared to my baggy pajama bottoms and tank
tops. For a moment, the idea of sleeping in the scrap of skimpy slinky, sounded
totally preposterous. My mind went instantly through all the ways in which you
could
not
fight an intruder in such garments.
“What the
hell is that?” I squeaked.
She
rolled her eyes. “It’s nightwear, silly. You wear it to bed.” She smiled,
grabbing the shorts and tossing the silky, satiny garments at me.
Fumbling
for the scraps, my brows in my hairline, I said, “You sleep in this?”
It
shows so-o-o much!
She gave
a wicked little laugh. “No, I do not
sleep
in them.”
I
swallowed, making a face. Did I really want to sleep in something that Porcia
wore to be…wicked? Although, to be fair, I also doubted she even wore it long
enough to do any wicked things in.
“I’m
sure,” she said softly, waltzing towards me, “that Felix will like it.” She
eyed me intently, and I frowned in confusion.
What
does it matter if Felix liked it? He isn’t wearing it. I am! And, I find it
highly unlikely that I’ll go wandering around the house with nothing but this
on. In which case, the only time he’d see it is if—
“Porcia!”
I spluttered in shock, face instantly burning from chest bone to hairline and
radiating out from my ears.
Felix would only see me wearing that if we were
in the same bedroom!
She just
giggled at my severe coloring, appreciating my blush because, as a Vampire, she
didn’t.
Blah.
“Oh, Red,
you’re so…”
“British?”
I offered.
“Human.”
She patted my arm, and turned back to her walk-in wardrobe. And no, I really
wasn’t surprised she had one when I saw it. “You’ve probably killed more people
in your short life than I have ever contemplated killing in mine, and yet you
blush and stutter at the thought of,” she spun and leaned against the door, her
expression back to perfectly wicked as she purred, “
men
.” She
disappeared into the closet.
Trying
not to scowl, though not entirely sure I pulled it off, I turned away to look
through the clothes on the bed, aiming for indifference. She was right,
though. To say that my experience with men was limited would be the
understatement of the…well, ever. I’d been with no one since I was human.
Oh
God! Can my virginity grow back?
“I don’t
find them particularly useful. From what I can see, all they do is bark orders,
scowl, fart inappropriately and occasionally scratch themselves and then sniff
their fingers afterwards,” I said, my tone as deadpan as my expression.
“Oh
honey.” Porcia’s voice had the ringing tones of mirth. “Immortal males don’t
fart, scratch or smell.” Her tone went quiet, and she suddenly appeared back in
the doorway, staring at me intently, eyes wide.
“What?” I
asked, fighting not to squirm.
Jeepers, I’ve never felt so uncomfortable so
many times in ten minutes!
Porcia’s
lips parted, and her expression became one of shock.
I rolled
my eyes and planted my hands on my hips. “What, Porcia?” Surprisingly, her lack
of words was really quite horrifying. I got the impression it didn’t happen
often, which meant whatever she’d just realized would probably make me blush
again.
Then she
spoke. “You…. You’ve never been with an Immortal male before!”
Cue
the blushing
.
“You’re
an Immortal virgin!”
Oh. My.
God.
“No I’m not!” I
almost stomped my foot. “I’m not a virgin.”
“Not a
virgin,
virgin,” She smiled a bright sunny smile. “An
Immortal
virgin. Oh,”
her smile turned almost smug. “Wait till Felix hears about this.”
I
wonder if I could pass out from all the blood rushing back and forth between my
body and my face.
“What
does he have to do with this? Why does he even have to know?” The very idea of
Porcia discussing my non-existent sex-life with the Vampire who’d knocked me
out twice and then wrestled me nearly naked really didn’t appeal. In the
slightest. Like, ever.
Porcia
just looked at me as if I was an alien who had just landed on this planet. And
technically, I was an alien who had just landed on
her
planet.
“Because
he claimed you, of course.”
Cue
speech bubble filled with question marks
.
“Well,
what does that mean?” I snapped, flinging my arms out. Seriously, patience only
goes so far. “What am I? Lost property or something!”
“In a
sense.” She conceded, and then smiled. “You are Vampire with no coven, so he’s
claimed you, bringing you into our family. You are officially under his
protection, and therefore, the rest of the coven. That way, no one will be able
to hurt you without just retaliation from us. All you need to do to be
officially integrated into our clan is to take the blood oath with him or Osiris.”
She shrugged like it was all so obvious.
I just
stared at her blankly. Felix had, in all intents and purposes, taken a flight
risk with me. He didn’t know who I was, what I was like, what I’d done, where
I’d been or even where I was going—if anywhere. I could take him for everything
he had and then hit the road, never to be seen again. What was stopping me? I
had no loyalties there.
Except…except,
because of Felix, I felt like I did.
“So, I’m
a pledge.” I frowned, and Porcia smiled winningly. “But…. Why? Why would he do
that?” I frowned harder in consternation. “He doesn’t even know me.”
Bloody
Vampire.
Porcia
gave me another knowing smile, and was just opening her mouth to answer when I
held up my hand. “You know what? Don’t tell me. I’ve had all the revelations I
can take today.” I turned my back, and walked into the bathroom, leaving her
standing there. She didn’t say anything as I shut the door, just gave a heavy,
sad sigh.
Thank God.
I didn’t want any more weight on my shoulders, put
there so callously by someone who didn’t consider it weighty at all.
I’d lived
over two centuries caring for no one but myself, living with only the
consequences of my actions being laid at my own feet. If I made a dodgy deal,
that was me. If I lost a bounty, that was me. If I killed the wrong person,
that was me.
Now,
if I attracted the wrong attention, it is on this coven. Now, if I deal with
the wrong person, it falls to these people as well. Now, if I kill, retaliation
isn’t on one sole person, but on many.
I couldn’t
deal with that kind of pressure, and as the ramifications started to become
more and more focused in my mind, I began to regret what I had agreed to with
Felix. My own actions were no longer my own. They were dictated by rules that I
didn’t even know, and probably wouldn’t know about until I broke one.
I stared
at my reflection, at the dark strawberry blonde hair and smattering of
freckles, the multiple hoops lining my left ear and the odd piercing or two in
my right, the small nose that turned up slightly at the end and the lips that,
in my opinion, were not wide enough to be so big. I stared into the teal eyes
of this woman and wondered who she was, because for sure she couldn’t be me. I’d
been coasting through my existence for so long, living a life by any means
possible, doing whatever it took to keep myself separate from a life that was
ultimately what
I
was. I was a Vampire. I was a Werewolf. And yet, I
segregated myself off from knowing anything about either, other than the bare
essentials I
needed
to know in order to survive and hunt them down.
Swiping
up the brush from the counter that I had used earlier, I brushed back my drying
mass of hair and deftly braided it, pulling it over one shoulder to finish—the
last of it falling to my ribs. I tied it off with my rescued hair-tie and took
a deep breath, bracing my hands on the counter.
Time
to take off the robe.