The Betrayer (27 page)

Maureen followed her into the nicely decorated room. As she looked into the cot, she was surprised to see him wide awake.

‘Would you like to hold him?’ the nurse asked.

Maureen automatically nodded. Half of her wanted to touch him, the other half was telling her not to form too close a bond.

The nurse handed her the child. ‘I won’t be long. I’ll go and get your cup of tea for you.’

Maureen stared at the child. He was big for a newborn, and had striking features. She sat on a chair and stroked his cheek. ‘We’re goin’ to have to think of a name for you soon,’ she whispered.

As he clenched her little finger, she felt the tears roll down her cheeks. ‘You look like a Johnny to me, but I’ll have to check with your mum if that’s OK first.’

He gurgled and she held him close. It didn’t matter what colour he was, he was her grandson and he needed her. She smiled at him.

‘I won’t let you be adopted. If yer mum doesn’t want yer, then Nanny’ll take good care of yer.’

Nurse Zokora stood outside listening to the conversation Maureen was having with herself. She smiled. These racist people were all the same and, apart from the odd one, they all came round in the end.

TWENTY-SEVEN

Maureen lifted her grandson out of his cot, and tenderly fed him his bottle. ‘We’re gonna have to get our arses in gear and sort his birth certificate, Susan. Shall we register him as Johnny? Or do yer wanna choose something else?’

Susan stared at the television. ‘Call him Mistake for all I fuckin’ care! As I’ve told you a hundred times already, Mum, I don’t want him. He’ll have a much better life if we put him up for adoption.’

Maureen threw her a look of evil. ‘Over my dead body will you farm him out. You made your bed, Susan and, believe me, you will fuckin’ learn to lie in it.’

‘How am I meant to love a child that’s taken away everything good that I had in my life?’ Susan sobbed. ‘Kevin’s left me, Tracey called me a dirty fat slag and told me never to ring her again, Tommy and Nanny hate me. At least if I gave him away, I could make a fresh start. If he was white I could manage, Mum, but how can I bring up a black kid round here?’

Maureen put her grandson in his baby chair and sat next to Susan. She’d been staying with her daughter since she’d left the hospital. The nurses had been worried by Susan’s behaviour, and Maureen had promised she would look after the baby herself.

As Susan sobbed, Maureen awkwardly put her arms around her. ‘I know things are hard Susan, but you can’t shut the barn door after the horse has bolted, love. Little Johnny needs you, you’re his mum, and give it time, things will get easier for yer. People’s attitudes will change. Look at James, he’s already mellowed and in the future Tommy and Nan will do the same. Look at him, Susan, he’s gorgeous – how can people not love him, eh?’

Susan said nothing. Her mother meant well, but was doing her head in. She needed to get rid of her fast, and if acting like a doting mother herself was the only way, so be it. She smiled. ‘You’re right, Mum. Bring him over here and let me hold him.’

Royston Ellis stood nervously outside the Horn of Plenty. Jan, the barmaid, had rung him to tell him the Huttons were having a lunchtime tipple. It had been just over a fortnight now since his pals had informed him that he was the father of Susan’s child, and he’d been shitting himself ever since. He’d fled the area as soon as he’d heard, and had stayed at his cousin’s in south London. He’d had no plans on coming home, but his mother had turned up yesterday with other ideas.

‘You disappoint me, Royston. I brought you up to be a man, and if you’ve fathered a child, you get your arse back home and face the music. I want you to go and see the family and ask for some proof. If it turns out to be yours, you have no choice other than to financially support it.’

As Royston entered the pub, James clocked him immediately. ‘Tom, look,’ he said, nudging his brother.

As the pleasant-faced lad stood in front of him, Tommy felt no hatred. He’d done a lot of homework on Royston, and from what he’d heard, he was a cut above Tibbsy, Benno and Dave Taylor. He occasionally drank with them, but was no petty crook like they were.

‘Can I have a quiet word with you?’ Royston asked nervously.

Aware that the pub had fallen silent and all eyes were on him, Tommy did what any brother of a white East End family would do. ‘Yer cheeky black cunt,’ he said, as he gave him a right-hander.

James grabbed hold of his brother. ‘Leave him, Tom. Let’s go outside, see what he has to say. Kickin’ shit out of him ain’t gonna solve anything, is it?’

Grabbing Royston by the neck, Tommy shoved him out the door.

Thrilled that Susan was showing more enthusiasm, Maureen stepped up her plan. ‘Why don’t we put Johnny in the pram and take him out for a walk? We can’t stay cooped up in here for ever, we all need some fresh air.’

The thought of facing the outside world filled Susan with dread. Everyone knew that she and Kev had been an item. How was she meant to explain her baby being born fucking black? Desperate for her mother to move back home, she agreed. Being seen out with the bastard child was the last thing she wanted, but once her mum got off her case, she could do as she pleased.

Maureen smiled as she handed Susan her coat. ‘We fit?’

Susan forced a smile. ‘Walkies, Johnny,’ she said sarcastically.

Ethel was deep in thought as James told her about Royston’s visit to the pub.

‘When he first walked in, I thought Tommy was gonna marmalise him, but when we got outside, he seemed to calm down a bit. Royston said that he’ll definitely support Johnny if it’s proved he’s his. Tommy seemed OK about that – well, he must have been ’cause he’s still going out clubbing tonight with Freddie. I know it’s awkward, Nan, but I don’t think Royston deserved a clump. I know he ain’t white, and he’ll never be one of us, but he don’t seem a bad bloke. At least he had the balls to come and see us and try to sort things out.’

Ethel handed James his dinner. ‘I never thought I’d see the day when I felt sorry for Kevin. How long had they been at it for? Do yer know?’

James shrugged. ‘Royston reckons it was just a one-night stand. He said they were both drunk and it just sort of happened.’

Ethel shook her head. ‘The dirty little whore, and don’t you worry about Tommy, he did the right thing. Black and white don’t mix, James. If we were all meant to live in fuckin’ harmony, God would have mixed us all together in the first place.’

James said nothing as he polished off his lamb stew. He’d had a couple of black mates at school, and he couldn’t fully understand his nan’s and brother’s attitude. He handed his nan her dish back. ‘That was handsome: I’m gonna shoot off now, Nan.’

‘Where yer goin’?’ Ethel shouted, as he grabbed his coat.

‘Me mate’s,’ James lied.

He wasn’t, really. He was going to see his mum and baby Johnny. Black or white, that kid was his nephew, and no matter what anyone else said, he wanted to be part of Johnny’s life.

Maureen held her head high as she pushed the pram alongside Susan. Old Mother Kelly and her sister were heading their way and she was determined to put up a front.

‘Lovely day, isn’t it? Would you like to see my grandson?’ she said boldly.

Old Mother Kelly peered into the pram. ‘He’s a big boy, ain’t he? I heard he was a darkie, but he’s lighter than I thought he’d be.’

Maureen linked arms with Susan. ‘Dark, light, pink or blue, he’s my first grandchild and we all love him dearly. Such a shame you never had children yourselves – it’s a wonderful feeling to become a nan,’ Maureen said sarcastically.

Old Mother Kelly and her sister nodded a curt goodbye and walked away. Maureen smiled at Susan. ‘Never had a man between them, those two. Always lived together as well. Rumour has it they’re a pair of old lesbos.’

Susan smiled politely. Her mum might have more front than Marks & Spencer, but she couldn’t wait to get home. Taking Johnny out was embarrassing, and she wished the pavement would swallow her up.

‘Oi, yer fuckin’ slag! You’ve got some front showing yer face round ’ere. My Kevin’s moved up north because of you.’

Maureen could only look in horror as Kev’s mum, Sheila, ran towards them and grabbed Susan by the hair. Susan let out a sob and fell to the ground. As Sheila kicked Susan in the face, Maureen shoved the pram into someone’s front garden and lunged towards them.

‘You think your Kev’s so fuckin’ perfect then, do yer? No wonder she fancied a change. Beat her to a pulp, he did, on one occasion. I should know – I sat up casualty with her all fuckin’ night.’

With Susan rolled up like a ball on the ground, Sheila turned her anger towards Maureen. ‘You soppy, naive mug,’ she said, pushing her against a nearby wall. ‘He told me all about it, and do yer know why he did it, well, do yer?’

Maureen shook her head. ‘Because she glassed my sister’s daughter. Ask her, go on, ask the fuckin’ slag, outside Benjy’s it was, and do you know what? We all forgave her and covered up for her. It was Kev that stopped her gettin’ arrested, and half my family still don’t talk to us now ’cause of it.’

Walking away, Sheila spat on the ground. ‘Scum you are, the lot of yers. My Kevin’s best out of it; he’ll meet someone far better than that fuckin’ slag.’

Maureen helped Susan to her feet, and hurriedly pushed the pram towards home. ‘Are you sure you’re all right, love? What was Kevin’s mum talking about? She said you’d glassed someone. Yer never, did yer?’

Susan didn’t feel like acting, but had no choice. ‘It’s all bullshit, Mum. What do you expect? Everyone was lookin’ at her – she had to say something,’ she lied.

Two weeks later, Susan’s acting finally paid off. ‘Wave goodbye to Nanny,’ she said, moving Johnny’s little arm towards her mother.

Maureen smiled. Susan was genuinely besotted with the child and all her hard work had paid off handsomely. ‘Now if there’s anything yer need, just ring me. I’ll pop back on Sunday, make sure you’re coping OK.’

Susan smiled. ‘Thanks for everything. But don’t worry, me and Johnny will be fine, Mum, honest.’

As Susan shut the door she breathed an enormous sigh of relief. Her mum had left her £20 for emergencies, and getting off her head was an emergency of top priority.

Susan weighted up her options. Bella, who lived below, was a white single mum, with a mixed-race kid. Kevin had never liked her, he’d said she was a slut and a junkie. Susan wrapped Johnny in his blanket. She needed a friend, and beggars couldn’t be choosers.

As Susan neared the flat, she could hear the voice of Jimi Hendrix. She had to knock hard just to make herself heard.

Bella opened the door an inch. ‘All right, Suze? What are you doing here?’

Susan felt awkward. She could hear voices, lots of them. ‘Sorry, I didn’t know you had company. I’ve got a spare £20, I fancied gettin’ pissed and stoned, but I’ll pop back another time if yer like?’

Bella smiled as she fully opened the door. ‘I always thought you were a stuck-up cunt. Stick the nipper in the bedroom with my Aaron, then come and join the party.’

Two hours later, Susan was the happiest she’d felt in ages. The reason why? She had just injected her very first needle.

TWENTY-EIGHT

‘I’ve got to go home for me dinner now, Johnny. Shall we meet up again later?’

Johnny shrugged. ‘I dunno, I might have to go round me nan’s for dinner. If me mum’s got money, I’ll go to the chippy and give you a knock. If not, I’ll see you tomorrow.’

With his beloved football shoved under his right arm, Johnny trudged towards the flats. The word dinner had reminded him just how hungry he was, but he knew he’d get no food indoors. His mum was very different from all of his friends’ mums, you see. They all shopped at Tesco and Sainsbury’s, and cooked nice dinners, unlike his, who bought the odd loaf and can of baked beans, and spent every other penny she had on drugs, fags and booze.

Johnny kicked his ball against a nearby wall. His friends were well aware of his situation, but he still told them as little as possible. Whatever she was, she was still his mum and he loved her dearly.

With Led Zeppelin blaring out of the speakers, Susan took the needle from Bella and desperately tried to find a vein. Having no joy with her arm, she cursed herself and shoved it in her foot. As the heroin entered her body, she relaxed, closed her eyes and smiled.

Johnny put his key in the lock. ‘I’m home, Mum.’

He walked into the living room. Benno, Tibbsy, Dave Taylor and Bella were all regular features in his mother’s flat, and it was no surprise to see them there.

‘’Ere he is, shoeshine boy,’ Dave Taylor said nastily.

Johnny ignored him and crouched down next to Susan. ‘Mum, I’m hungry. Can I get some chips?’ he asked, shaking her.

Susan opened one eye, ‘Anyone got fifty p?’ she slurred.

No one answered. Barely able to focus, Susan propped herself up against the sofa. ‘You’ll ’ave to eat round Nanny’s. I cash me book tomorrow, yer can ’ave chips then. Before yer go, Johnny, do us a favour. We’re out of booze, go down to Old Man Tatler’s, and nick us some wine.’

Johnny averted his eyes and stared at the filthy carpet. His mum regularly asked him to thieve, and he hated it. Over the years he’d become an expert at it, his mother had made sure of that. Only once had he been caught, and he’d been six years old at the time.

‘Don’t make me do it, Mum. Can’t one of them do it?’ he asked, nodding at Tibbsy, Benno and Taylor.

‘Shoeshine boy, you know you’re our slave,’ Dave Taylor said, laughing.

‘Don’t call him that,’ Bella said, punching him playfully on the arm.

Susan pulled herself together, stood up and gave Johnny a cuddle. Benno and Tibbsy were OK, but Dave Taylor could be a proper racist bastard at times. ‘Take no notice of him. Please Johnny, go and get some wine. Do it for me today, and I promise I won’t ask yer no more.’