The Best Christmas Ever (11 page)

“I
’m a singing angel!”

Sarah swung around from the counter, where she was putting the finishing touch on a bowl of potato salad. Mickie bounced into the kitchen from the garage door, Justin right behind her.

Looking as handsome as ever. Almost two weeks after that kiss and she couldn’t seem to stop noticing how good he looked. He wore a pair of well-worn jeans, boots and a soft tan shirt with a darker pullover sweater. His hair was tousled from the crisp, cool November wind and his cheeks had just a hint of color.

“My little angel. Of course she sings,” Justin teased.

“No, Daddy,” Mickie said, exasperation in her voice. “Daddy took me by the school today to see the posted list—after we got the cranberries for the meal—and my name was under the singing angels! Aunt Sarah, can you make my costume?”

Sarah, who was smiling happily at her niece, suddenly winced. “Um, honey…” She trailed off.

Justin, evidently seeing her dilemma, scooped up his daughter and gave her whisker brushes against her cheeks, earning a squeal. “If Auntie Sarah can’t, we’ll find someone who can, pumpkin.”

Sarah felt she’d let Mickie down—and Justin, if he felt he had to distract his daughter—so, she piped up, “I can certainly go to school and see what the other parents are doing and if I don’t think I can, then I’ll find you someone, sweetie. Is that a deal?”

Mickie squirmed from her daddy’s grasp, then ran over and wrapped her arms around Sarah’s legs, almost overturning her. “Deal,” she said.

The doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it,” Mickie yelled, heading for the door at a dead run.

For the first time in over a week, Sarah was alone with Justin. His scrutiny made her nervous. To cover her unease, she turned back to the counter and stirred the potato salad. Justin had picked up the rest of the food from a local restaurant. All she had to make was potato salad, then serve what Bill and his wife brought.

Justin started forward and she stiffened. There had been an uncomfortable truce since the night she’d run off and hidden in her room. She wasn’t looking forward to discussing it. She’d thought maybe Justin had regretted it as much as she did. After all, he had suddenly had all these extra hours he’d had to put in. It was only last night when she’d called Justin for something that Christine had mentioned he always doubled his hours just before Thanksgiving and Christmas. She said it was to catch up so he could have free time.

Now, with the look on his face and the way he was approaching, she was afraid he was going to broach the subject of their embrace. A subject she’d prefer to leave undiscussed.

The sound of the door whooshing open was a relief. No longer alone, she felt safe to relax. Arms snaked around her and she jumped, before she realized it wasn’t Justin. “Hi there, sweetheart, gotta hug for me?”

“Bill!” Sarah turned in his arms and gave him an enthusiastic hug.

He chuckled. “Gonna have my wife scalping me if you don’t watch it.”

“And where is she?” Sarah demanded, stepping back. “I haven’t seen her in at least three months.”

“I’ve been keeping her busy taking care of me since we got married.” He nodded and shook Justin’s hand. “She’s playing with Mickie. Here are some deviled eggs,” he said, handing Sarah a platter covered with foil. “I’ll be right back with the ham.”

He paused at the door and winked. “I just might have an announcement later that you’ll be interested in. Come on, Justin, say hi to Marcy while I get the ham.”

Justin followed him out. Sarah was relieved. She put the platter on the counter next to the potato salad and went to the sink to wash her hands. The door whooshed back open. “Just place the ham on the counter, Bill, and I’ll let Justin cut it up.”

“Unfortunately, I’m not Bill.”

Sarah whirled, slinging water over the countertop. She grabbed a towel to wipe her hands and mop up the mess, remembering to turn off the water as she
did. Only a moment of silence lingered before Justin sauntered over and leaned against the counter near her.

“Why do I have a feeling you’d be more comfortable if I
were
Bill?”

“That’s not true,” she said, but didn’t lift her eyes.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” he said softly.

“No!” she denied quickly.

“Yes,” he countered quietly.

She shrugged, not liking the look in his eyes. Oh, why had she avoided him and let the unknown build between them? She didn’t like confrontations anymore. Not with him. Justin always won.

“Does this have to do with the other night?”

“No,” she denied again, lifting her chin and meeting his eyes.

A gleam appeared in his eyes at her challenging stance. “Yes,” he whispered.

“If you have all the answers, why ask?” she demanded, disagreeably.

“I have a feeling this has to do with that guilt thing again,” he said, stepping closer.

He was right. How did he know she was feeling guilty for practically attacking him on his own doorstep? She refused to answer, mutely staring at him.

“Tic tac toe?” he said, turning to where his hip was leaning against the counter. He dropped his arms, allowing his right elbow to rest on the counter. “Three no’s in a row?”

With his left hand, he reached out and snagged her elbow to keep her from backing any farther away. “You’ve nothing to feel guilty about unless you were only kissing me out of obligation.”

Sarah saw the sudden watchful gaze in his eyes and
realized he really didn’t know how she felt. Though she wouldn’t enlighten him on the latter, she would put his mind at ease on the former. “No,” she whispered, aching at the thought of ever intentionally hurting this man’s feelings again.

“Good,” he said, and satisfaction shone in his eyes. Before she knew what he was doing, he grabbed both her arms and pulled her forward. “Because I’ve wanted to do this again since that night.”

He lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers.

He felt so good. His arms slid around her and his head turned, slanting gently across her mouth as he expertly showed her exactly how much he enjoyed sharing this kiss.

Sarah trembled even as she held on to handfuls of his sweater and returned the kiss. This felt so good, so right. He was gentle, tender, demanding, patient. He was perfect.

“Ahem.”

Sarah pushed back and dazedly glanced toward the source of the noise. She immediately flushed when she saw Bill standing there, nonchalantly leaning against the counter near the door. “Excuse me,” she said. She grabbed the potato salad and headed into the other room.

The door swished shut behind her. The silence was thick for a moment before Bill finally asked, “Did I see what I thought I saw?”

“You saw a kiss,” Justin replied.

“Oh, yeah, Justin. I saw a kiss…and much more. The look on your face is more than just a kiss.”

Justin stiffened, but Bill held up a hand. “Hey, I think it’s great. But she
is
living here.”

Justin sighed and ran a weary hand through his hair. “I agree this isn’t the best situation. I know it’s important to avoid all appearance of impropriety. However, I’ve given this over two weeks of thought, Bill.

“Mrs. Winters will be home in another week or two. I talked with her last night. She’s more than willing to come back here on a part-time basis until I can find a new sitter. I have a couple of openings coming up at work, jobs that Sarah is qualified for that will give her enough money to afford a place of her own.”

“Wow,” Bill said, low. “That serious, huh?”

Justin nodded. “I think so.”

“So, what about until then?” he asked.

Justin turned toward the window and stared out. “We’re both adults. We’re both Christian, with moral values. We know how to behave, even though we’re attracted to each other.”

“Said Adam to God just before Eve showed up.”

“Very funny,” Justin said when Bill chuckled.

“I’m sorry,” Bill replied. “Look, I love you both. You’re like a brother and Sarah is like a sister. I’d hate for anything to happen between you that you’d regret later.”

“We have a sitter. Mickie, if you’ve forgotten.”

“Who has an earlier bedtime,” Bill reminded him. “Anyway, if things get too intense, please twist Sarah’s arm to take that garage apartment that’s empty at my house. I’ve told her she’s always welcome. Hey, I’ll admit she wouldn’t take it before, but I just bet she’d let me help her out now.”

Justin turned back to his friend. “Thanks, Bill. I will.”

The door swung open and Sarah warily walked back
into the kitchen. “So, do I get to watch the football game here?” Bill asked Justin.

Justin groaned. “As long as it’s Dallas we watch.”

“You know that’s not my team.”

Sarah hurried past, grabbed some other dishes, shot a glance at both men, then gave Bill a dark look. “You wanna eat, help me set the table.” She went back out.

Bill grinned, grabbed some of the dishes and said, “She knows I was reading you the riot act.”

Justin picked up the platter of eggs. “She knows and she doesn’t like anyone interfering in her life.”

“So sue me,” he said, and followed Sarah out the door.

Sarah decided the meal went fine. Thanksgiving was a joyous occasion, she thought, smiling wistfully, especially when it was shared with family and friends. André’s family had been so formal, exchanging only polite talk. Here, there was joking and any subject was open for debate.

And joke telling was the most popular, especially when she and Mickie got into a contest to see who could come up with the corniest jokes.

“Hey, Aunt Sarah, April showers bring May flowers. What do
Mayflowers
bring?”

Sarah looked stumped.

Everyone else at the table said in unison, “Pilgrims!”

Sarah chuckled. “Please no more, dear. You beat me hands down on the jokes.”

Mickie giggled.

Bill interrupted the gaiety with a big smile. “Well, I can’t think of a better time to tell our news than now,
when we’re with our spiritual family, can you, Marcy?”

Sarah was smiling, but at the sudden glow in Marcy’s eyes, Sarah’s smile froze. Bill and Marcy had been married only three months. Surely their news couldn’t be…

“Well, come on,” Justin said. “Don’t keep us in suspense.”

Bill grabbed Marcy’s hand. “Marcy is due the last part of June. We’re gonna have a baby.”

“Congratulations!” Justin exclaimed, jumping up and slapping Bill on the back.

“Congratulations,” Sarah echoed, smiling at Marcy, even though the edge of her vision was turning black.

She hadn’t realized someone else’s news would hurt so much. Of course, it was the first time she’d been confronted with this since her own news.

“Why do you have to wait till June?” Mickie demanded.

Marcy smiled. “Well, it takes that long for the baby in my tummy to get big enough to be born.”

Mickie immediately jumped up and ran around the table. Looking at her stomach, she studied it a long moment. Finally, she asked, “How’d it get in there?”

Bill laughed.

Marcy turned pink.

“We’ll discuss that later, sweetheart,” Justin said.

“Maybe when I get a brother or sister of my own?” she asked.

It was Justin’s turn to blush.

Sarah felt like throwing up. With as good a smile as she could manage, she stood. “I’ll be right back.”

She headed toward the back of the house for the guest bathroom. But that wasn’t where she was going. She wanted to be alone. After slipping into the darkened study, she softly closed the door behind her.

As soon as she was sure she wouldn’t be overheard, she broke down.
Why, God? Why? I don’t begrudge Marcy her child. I’m happy for her and Bill. But I’m jealous too, envious, even hurt. Why won’t I ever have children of my own?

Deep racking sobs shook her body and she cried out all her pain and rage.
It doesn’t seem fair. I love children. I’ve always wanted children. Why?

She ranted and raved within as she reached out to heaven in beseeching appeal. Finally, a peace settled into her heart and she knew that no matter what, she would serve God. Sometimes, she wouldn’t know the reasons here on Earth, but one day, in heaven, she’d know, and understand why the doctor had this diagnosis.

She found the box of tissues, blew her nose and tried to repair her makeup. She knew she’d been gone too long but hoped she’d have time to sneak upstairs and cover her blotchy red face before anyone found her.

However, even that small peace was denied her as the door opened behind her. She could only hope it was Mickie.

“Sarah?”

It just
had
to be Justin.

“Um-hmm?” she answered, afraid her voice would give away her crying jag.

The door shut behind him. “What’s the matter? I could tell something troubled you at the table.”

She kept her head down as Justin approached. When he placed his hand under her chin and urged her to look up, she resisted. But she could tell he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

Slowly, she allowed him to lift her face to his scrutiny. “Oh, Sarah,” he said, concern etching his voice. “What happened to cause this?”

She shrugged, his compassion nearly releasing a fresh flood of tears.

“When Marcy announced—”

He got no further. She stiffened.

“What?” he asked determinedly, though he said it with a gentle insistence.

“Nothing.”

“Is it Marcy or maybe Bill?” His eyes widened. “Surely you’re not jealous that Bill is married and having a baby.”

“No!” she denied, but could tell he was still suspicious that he’d found the answer. “Honestly,” she said, because now it was true. She had been jealous and envious for a moment. But now she was just sad, aching for something she would never have.

He wasn’t going to believe her unless she told him the truth. She could already see him mentally pulling away. She should let him. It would be best for both of them. No, it would be best for her. It would hurt him unnecessarily. “I just want kids and don’t have any,” she finally admitted, feeling fresh tears in her eyes.

“Oh, Sarah,” he murmured, and pulled her into his arms.