“I love you, baby,” she said.
“I love you, too, Mom.”
Kyle swallowed against the sudden tightening in his throat. He wasn't sure where he'd gotten the words. When
he'd needed them, they'd just sort of been there. He was grateful that they'd been the right thing to say.
Now, holding Sandy and Lindsay close, he felt something he hadn't felt for years, if ever. He felt as if he belonged. As if all the years of playing daddy with his brother's kids, or the neighbor kids, had finally paid off. He felt strong enough to carry all the troubles of the world on his shoulders, and weak enough to fight the burning at the back of his eyes.
When Lindsay wiggled free, he didn't want to let her go. He didn't want the perfect moment to end. Because when they all stood up and looked at one another, he would be the one on the outside. He wasn't part of the family. He wasn't likely to be. Sandy might be interested in sleeping with him, but she'd made it clear that he wasn't the sort of man she wanted in her life permanently.
Lindsay scrambled off the bed and walked over to the window. She stared outside. “I guess I made a fool of myself, huh?”
“Not with me,” he said. “I'm not sure what you've been doing with the other men in the neighborhood, though.”
She looked at him and rolled her eyes. “Kyle!”
“Lindsay!”
She grinned.
“Your secret is safe with me, kid,” he said.
“I can still come over and make fresh lemonade if you want,” she said.
“I'd like that.”
“Tomorrow.”
“I'll be waiting.”
He started toward the door. Sandy followed. When they reached the staircase, she paused.
“You did really good in there,” she said.
“Thanks. I was nervous.”
“It didn't show.” She looked up at him. “Thanks, Kyle. It could have gotten ugly, but you were great.”
He liked the hero worship shining from her green eyes. He liked that he'd impressed her. But he hadn't done it for her; he'd only been thinking of Lindsay. “I'm glad it worked out.”
“Me, too.” She put her hand on the railing, but didn't step down. “So what's the real story about this crush of yours? I don't remember any of the Haynes brothers ever being without a date.”
“I was only fourteen at the time. A little young for dating.”
“And she really didn't notice you?”
“You sound surprised. I was a kid. She wasn't. It's no big deal, Sandy. It happens all the time.”
“But not to you.” She smiled. “I guess I can't imagine who it would be. One of the cheerleaders? Oh, you said someone one of your brothers dated. Which brother? Travis? He always had the prettiest girls.”
“Why is this so important to you?”
“I'm just a little curious.”
He could tell her. What would she do with the information? Would it make a difference? He watched as her mouth curled in a smile. Her nose was a little red, as if she'd been in the sun too long on their bike ride. Instantly, images of what had happened on that picnic-table bench flashed into his mind. He had to fight the need to bend over and kiss her. Just once. Instead, he started down the stairs.
“You're not going to tell me?” she asked.
“No.”
“But, Kyle, I want to know.”
At the bottom of the stairs, he turned toward her. She was grinning. “Just one little name. What will it hurt?”
She was right. It couldn't hurt anything. It had been a
long time ago. If he was going to risk it with Sandy, he might as well risk it all. Then, if it didn't work out, he could tell himself he'd done his best. It would be small comfort if she left him, but he would need all the help he could get.
He walked to the front door, then paused. “It was you, Sandy. Always you. I'm surprised you didn't figure it out.” Then he stepped outside and closed the door behind him.
* * *
“Mom, when can I learn how to drive?” Lindsay asked.
Fortunately, Sandy was already at a stop sign, so she didn't accidentally hit the brakes and risk being rear-ended. She glanced at her twelve-year-old daughter. “Where did that question come from?”
Lindsay shrugged. “I just asked. Sheesh, you always make such a big deal out of everything.”
“You'll learn to drive when you're fifteen and a half and get your learner's permit. Not before.”
“Figures.” Lindsay slumped back in her seat.
It was her turn to ride in front. The children rotated weekly. Blake sat directly behind her, playing a hand-held video game, and Nichole was having a quiet conversation with her doll. All in all, life had settled into a routine. The children went to camp every day, she had finished unpacking and was planning her lessons for the coming semester. She'd figured out where everything was in the grocery store and she'd managed to reduce the time she spent thinking about Kyle from all of her day to about three-quarters of it. Not bad considering she couldn't get his confession out of her mind.
It was you, Sandy. Always you. I'm surprised you didn't figure it out.
How could he have said that to her and then just left? She'd been too shocked to do more than stare at him as
he'd walked out of her house, and then it had been too late to go after him. Nichole had claimed her attention. Next, she'd had to deal with making dinner. Suddenly, it had been the next day and she'd been too embarrassed to seek Kyle out and ask him what he'd really meant.
He'd had a crush on her? It didn't make sense. She barely remembered him as a fourteen-year-old. Of course, if she couldn't remember him, she probably had ignored him, but why would he have had a crush on her? She wasn't a cheerleader. She was just ordinary. Sensible Sandy, as he called her. She wasn't the type to inspire that kind of affection. She certainly hadn't in Thomas.
Maybe she would ask him today. They were all getting together at Travis and Elizabeth's house for a cookout. All the brothers would be there, along with their dates, kids and possibly dogs. It would be a madhouse, but she might be able to steal a quiet moment alone with Kyle. There hadn't been an opportunity in the last couple of weeks. One of the deputies had been on vacation and Kyle had been working extra hours.
Nichole leaned as far forward as her seat belt would let her. “Mandy's mom said they were going to buy a blowup pool and that we could go swimming.”
“Sounds like fun, honey,” she answered.
“Blake can come, too, if he wants,” Nichole said graciously. She and her brother always got along well. Sandy often wondered if it was because Lindsay had been singled out by their father, that the two younger ones banded together.
Lindsay sighed loudly and muttered something about children. She was upset because her friends hadn't been able to come to the cookout, so she wasn't going to have anyone to hang out with. Since Kyle had talked to her,
she'd seemed a little more like a twelve-year-old and a little less like a seductress in a training bra.
Sandy turned onto the tree-lined street where Travis and Elizabeth lived. Her children were doing well, she thought happily. They were adjusting to their new lives, thanks in great part to Kyle. He was always there for them. Even though she hadn't seen him much in the last couple of weeks, and never alone, he'd made sure he was available to her children.
She started down the long driveway, and parked behind an expensive German sedan. Austin, his wife, Rebecca, and their two children were already here. Her kids scrambled out of the station wagon as soon as she turned off the engine, but she was slower to exit. There was a part of her that was shy about facing all these people. Not because she didn't belong, but because she didn't know where she stood with Kyle.
It was ridiculous, she told herself as she got out of the car. The man was her neighbor, nothing more. Yet, that wasn't completely true. He was also a good friend, and a good surrogate father to her children. He'd been there for her, and his touch made her forget herself. She blushed as she remembered how willing she'd been to make love with him in a public park. She hadn't cared about anyone driving by and seeing them. She hadn't cared about anything but getting close to him, kissing him, stepping into the fire they generated and giving up her soul to the flames.
They weren't dating, but they'd almost become lovers. She didn't want a man like him in her life, but she couldn't stop thinking about him. She wanted it to be real, yet she knew in her heart that Kyle was everything she wanted to avoid in a man. She walked to the rear of the vehicle and opened the back door. So why couldn't she turn her back on him and forget about it? Why was she having trouble
sleeping and eating, and why did her heart still pound so hard every time she saw him?
She had to make her body, or her hormones, or whatever was causing the reaction stop. She couldn't go on like this. What would happen if things got tough? She wanted a man who would make the difficult decisions no matter what they cost him personally. She wanted someone she could depend on.
“You're looking serious about something.”
She jumped and turned toward the sound. “Kyle,” she said, pressing her hand on her chest. “You startled me.”
“I was on the porch,” he said, pointing toward the house, “but you didn't notice me waving.”
“Sorry. I was thinking.”
“About what?”
His brown eyes studied her face, his firm mouth smiled easily. The sheer male beauty of his features took her breath away. He wore black shorts and a T-shirt that advertised a local deli. Everywhere she looked, she saw hard muscles and tanned skin. It was enough to make a woman swoon. Her palms dampened, her mouth got dry and she couldn't think of an intelligent thing to say. If she were eighteen, or even twenty, she would swear she was in love. But she was thirty-two, and she knew better.
“Nothing important.”
He reached up and cupped her chin. “I haven't seen you in a while. Everything okay?”
“Couldn't be better.”
“Vacations are over for now, so my schedule is going to be normal again, starting Monday. Maybe we could take another bike ride.”
Her thighs began to tremble. “I think that would be a mistakeâ”
He bent down and kissed her, cutting off her words.
There was nothing seductive about the pressure of his mouth on hers. It was soft and sweet. Still, she felt her body begin to hum as need and desire flashed through her.
He straightened. “What were you saying?”
Had she been saying something? She leaned toward him hoping he would kiss her again, but he just gave her that cat-who-ate-the-canary grin of his. “Huh? Ah, nothing. Why?”
“I could have sworn you were going to tell me another bike ride wouldn't be a good idea.”
She reached into the station wagon and picked up a covered casserole dish. She handed it to Kyle, then reached for the covered cake plate. He slammed the car door shut, then fell into step beside her as they started for the house.
“Why would I say a foolish thing like that?” she asked.
“That's what I was thinking.”
When they reached the stairs leading to the porch, she paused and stared at him. Sunlight caught his short dark hair. He was tall and broad, strong. In the last few weeks, she'd come to think of him as dependable, which is a word she never would have associated with one of the Haynes brothers. Yet, they'd all changed. They'd grown up. For a brief moment, she wanted it to be enough.
“Is it true?” she asked. “Did you really have a crush on me?”
He looked past her toward a grove of trees next to the house. “It's the only time I hated my brother. The first time Jordan brought you home, I wanted to kill him and steal you away for myself.”
“Really? Why?”
“I'm not going to answer that.”
“When did you get over your crush?”
His gaze settled on her. “Don't ask questions unless you're sure you want the answers.”
Her breath caught in her throat. What was he saying? That it had been over so quickly that she would be insulted if she knew, or something else? That he'd never gotten over it. But he had to have. He couldn't still have those feelings for her, could he? He was right, she wasn't sure she wanted to know.
“Why didn't you say anything?”
He laughed. “Sorry, that's as much of my confession as you're going to get.”
“But Kyleâ”
“But nothing.” He raised the dish in his hands. “What did you bring?”
“Potato salad and chocolate cake.”
“Sounds great. I brought yams.”
She giggled. “Is it true? That's the only thing you can make?”
He looked insulted. “It is not. I just like yams.”
“Okay, me, too. I thought they were great.”
He bent toward her. For a second, she thought he was going to kiss her again. She wanted him to. She wanted him to hold her and touch her and take her to that magic place they disappeared to when they were together. She wanted to make love and talk about the past and the future. She wanted to hear about his crush, then whisper that she couldn't keep her heartbeat under control when he was around.
Then the front door opened and he straightened.
“We need less interruptions and more privacy,” he murmured.
She glanced up and saw the third oldest Haynes brother standing in the doorway. “Jordan!” she called and started up toward him.
“Hey, Sandy.” Jordan wasn't as tall as Kyle, or as good-looking, but there was something soulful in his eyes. He'd
always been the moody one, the brooder. While Craig had been the athletic star and Travis had collected ladies based on his charm, Jordan had been the James Dean of the county. Even Sensible Sandy hadn't been immune.
He met her at the top of the stairs and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “I heard you were back in town. How's it going?”