The Best Bride (21 page)

“After all,” he continued, “look at what he does for a living. He's a fire fighter, the crazy fool.”

He laughed and she joined him. It felt good to be with Travis like this. He turned toward her, angling one knee across the bench. His position moved them a little apart, but now she could see his face.

He looked good by porch light, she thought, studying the way stubble darkened the hollows of his cheeks and made his eyes more mysterious. She wanted to lean close and touch him all over, relearning the body she had caressed so intimately the night before. His pleasing scent made her remember other smells and tastes, his laughter made her think of other sounds. The way he'd called her name, his voice husky with disbelief and pleasure. Her breasts grew more sensitive inside her bra; her most secret place dampened in anticipation. Desire filled her, but she kept it firmly in check.

“I had an interesting conversation with Mandy at dinner,” he said, resting his palm on her thigh.

“I thought I saw you two talking. What about?”

“Her father.”

She started to fold her arms over her chest. He grabbed her hands, pulled them down on top of his knee and held her in place. “She was telling me that a boy at school lost his parents. She assumes that they're physically lost and won't be able to find their way back to him. She thinks Sam is lost to her, as well.”

Elizabeth tried to ignore the soft denim of Travis's jeans, the heat of his leg below and the warmth of his hand above hers. She tried to ignore the feeling of panic boiling to life in her belly. She'd known it would come to this with Mandy, but not yet. She wasn't ready.

“I told her that Sam wouldn't be able to see her again,” she said. “But I can't explain the rest of it to her. Not yet. She's too young.”

She dropped her head so that she could stare at her lap. No doubt Travis would disagree with her decision. She didn't care. When she'd asked Sam to sign away the rights to see Mandy, he hadn't even bothered to protest. He'd never been much interested in the girl. Not having him visit every few months would make it less confusing for Mandy.

“I agree,” he said, surprising her. “But I think you should be willing to let her talk about missing her father if she wants to.”

“Thanks for the advice,” she said, surprised she wasn't irritated with his interfering.

He turned her hand over and placed his on top, palm to palm. His skin was rough from his carpentry work—warm, yet dry. He had large hands, strong, capable fingers. She trusted his hands as much as she trusted the man. A big mistake, she warned herself, hoping it wasn't already too late.

“She asked if I could be her father instead of Sam.”

Elizabeth's heart clenched. Fierce jealousy and
possessiveness poured through her. She wanted to jerk her fingers free and use that hand to slap Travis away. How dare he try to worm his way into her daughter's affections?

She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again. He hadn't done anything wrong, a small rational voice whispered. He had been nothing but sweet to her and her daughter. Of course Mandy would respond to that affection. She'd spent more time with Travis in the past few weeks than with Sam in the past year.

“What did you tell her?” she asked, daring to look at him.

His dark eyes met and held her own. He shrugged sheepishly. “I told her I didn't know how to be a dad, but that I was willing to be her friend. I hope that's okay.”

He was obviously concerned about her feelings. She was grateful she hadn't given in to that moment of jealousy and destroyed the special friendship she and Travis had built. It made sense that she would be protective of Mandy. Look at all that had happened to them. But Travis wasn't the enemy. She would do well to remember that.

She smiled softly. “You shouldn't have lied to her, Travis.”

He straightened, obviously startled. “I didn't lie to her.”

“Of course you did.” She leaned a little closer to him, allowing the night to shut out the rest of the world. “You know exactly how to be a father. It's something you do very well.” She held up her hand when he started to protest. “Think about it. You took her to soccer so she could have fun and make friends. You eat raw French toast and tell her that her cooking is wonderful. You hold her tight and protect her from the world.”

He dismissed her words with a shrug. “That's the easy part. Anyone could do that.”

“Sam didn't. It's not what you do with her, it's taking
the time to make the little things matter. I think you're a terrific father. Mandy does, too, or she wouldn't have asked.”

“I— Thanks,” he said, looking distinctly uncomfortable. His gaze darted around the porch, to the ground, the sky—anywhere but at her. “I hope I can still see her. You know, when you guys move.”

“Sure. She'll love it.”

“And I think you should talk to her about Sam.”

“Travis, I know what's best for Mandy.”

“You don't have to tell her about the bigamy, just let her talk about being without him. Glenwood is a small town. We don't have a lot of single parents around here. Mandy probably feels different from everyone else she knows.”

“I hadn't thought of that,” she admitted. “It makes sense. I'll talk to her.” She drew in a deep breath. She should have seen that on her own. “See, you're not the only one who questions about parenting skills.” Would she ever get it right? First she messed up completely by believing Sam. Now she was concerned about making a mistake with Mandy. When would the second-guessing end?

“You're going to make yourself crazy,” he said, taking her in his arms and pulling her toward him. “Stop worrying. Everything is going to be fine.”

“But—”

“No ‘buts,”' he said, covering her mouth with his finger. ”That's enough thinking for tonight. I don't want you to tax your brain with anything more complex than how wonderful this feels.”

He lowered his mouth to hers. She told herself she should stop him. They couldn't do this again. But it felt too good. Too right. His lips were hot against hers. His arms felt strong and safe as he enfolded her against his broadness.

He shifted, pulling her onto his lap. Of their own accord, her arms reached around his neck. One of his hands slipped up from her thigh to her waist, then to her breast. He touched her curves, stroked the puckering nipple. Elizabeth gasped her pleasure and knew that she was seconds from losing control.

She pulled her mouth away from his drugging kisses, away from the pleasure and escape he promised.

“I can't,” she whispered, fighting the tightness in her throat and the screams of protest from her aroused body. “Please don't make me do this again.”

“Darlin', no one's going to
make
you do anything.”

She risked looking up at him. He wasn't smiling, but he didn't look angry. “I didn't mean it like that. Oh, Travis, you are wonderful and there's nothing I'd like better than to make love with you tonight.”

“But?”

“But I don't want to fall in love with you or care about you more than I do. If we make love again, I won't be able to be just friends.” She pulled free of his gentle embrace and stepped onto the porch. It was tearing her up inside to leave him, but she knew she had to. For both their sakes.

“I'm doing you a favor,” she said, looking down at him, hoping that wasn't hurt she was seeing in his eyes. “After all, aren't you the one claiming you don't want to make another mistake? Aren't you the one who doesn't want to get involved again?”

T
he question hadn't left him alone in two days. Elizabeth was right—he
had
told her he didn't want to get involved again. It went against everything he believed. Trying for a long-term relationship was a sure guarantee of heartbreak. Not only for himself, but for the woman involved. It would be crazy to start something he didn't intend to finish. The easiest thing for both he and Elizabeth was to stop playing footsie under the table and get on with being friends. At the end of the week, when she was able to drive and her rental house was available to move into, she would go back to her life and he would get on with his. No big deal.

He moved closer to the edge of the soccer field and watched Mandy race across the grass as she chased the elusive ball. She and her new friends squealed with excitement when she connected with her toe. The ball landed far short of the goal, but no one cared, least of all Mandy. She raced over to him and grinned.

“Did you see me kick it?” she asked, panting.

“You bet.” He ruffled her bangs, then gave her a little push. “Go back to the game, honey.”

“Okay, Travis.” She raced off.

He shoved his hands into his uniform trouser pockets. He was supposed to be taking care of paperwork back at the station. But this morning when Elizabeth had asked him if he could take Mandy to soccer practice, he hadn't been able to say no. Time was ticking by too quickly and he wanted be with the little girl as much as possible.

He wanted to spend time with her mother, as well, but that was dangerous. And confusing. What the hell was going on with him? He should be pleased that Elizabeth was well enough to spend the afternoon with Rebecca at the office learning about her new job. She was certainly excited enough to be out of the house. But he'd hated dropping her off at the child services center. It wasn't because he didn't want her to have a job or be independent, it was that he didn't like the reminder that she was leaving.

“You thinking about taking on a new coaching job?”

He turned and saw Austin walking toward him. As always, his friend was dressed in jeans and cowboy boots. A small gold hoop hung in one earlobe. He looked like a modern-day pirate.

“Just baby-sitting,” Travis said, pointing to Mandy. “What about you?”

“One of the deputies told me you'd be out here,” Austin said, stopping beside him. “I wanted to let you know I'm going to be out of town for a few days.”

“Vacation?” Travis asked, then grinned. To the best of his knowledge Austin had never taken a vacation.

“Nope. I'm giving a paper at a conference in France. Technical stuff. I'll be gone about five days.”

Travis nudged his friend with his elbow. “You know
what they say about French women, buddy. Have a great time.”

“Are you going to start living vicariously, now that you've got the hots for Elizabeth?”

Travis started to deny the statement, then figured, why bother? “You saw?”

“Sunday, at your place? Sure. The way you two were looking at each other, you about set the table on fire.”

“It's more than sex.”

“Then you've got a problem.”

Travis looked at the field where Mandy was in the middle of the young crowd of soccer players. She darted left, the ball went right and she landed on her rump. He could hear her laughter from across the field. Involuntarily, he smiled.

“You know anything about being a father?” he asked.

“No.”

“Me, neither. Except I wouldn't want to be like my old man. I'd want to be more interested in my kids than in other women.”

“So
be
more interested in your kids.”

“As simple as that?”

“Why make it hard?”

It made sense, Travis thought, in a twisted, Austin sort of way. “You have any kids?”

For the first time since they'd started talking Austin smiled. “I'm very careful.”

“I just bet you are. You don't want any gold digger getting a part of your money.”

Austin glanced at the playing field, then looked back at Travis. For once his guard wasn't up and Travis was able to see past the usual blankness in his cold gray eyes. Something ugly and painful flared there. Something that made
Travis want to apologize for ever bringing up relationships, women or kids.

“It's not the money.” The shutters went back down and Austin was once again in control. “It's about belonging.”

Austin had never belonged. Travis remembered the first day his friend had shown up at the local junior high school. He'd been a skinny misfit of thirteen. Within two days he'd been in the middle of four fights and had a rainbow-colored black eye. He'd started an argument with Travis, not realizing that messing with one Haynes boy had meant getting involved with all four.

Travis looked over at the good-looking man next to him and wondered when he'd begun to change. He liked to think it had been at the moment Travis had stood with him, against his brothers. He always wondered why he'd done it. Maybe it had been the hopelessness he'd seen in Austin's expression, or the fear behind the bravado. Craig, down from the local high school had been willing to let Austin off the hook, but Kyle was too excited about his first fight with his older brothers. Jordan, more like Austin than any of them, had stood on the outside watching and waiting.

In the end no one could remember what the fight had been about. When the boys' vice principal had come to investigate, the Haynes brothers had closed ranks, including Austin as one of their own. He'd never forgotten, Travis knew. Austin hadn't said anything; he hadn't had to. Even after he'd run away from his foster home and gotten into trouble and been sent away, even when he turned up years later, never once saying where he'd been, even now that he was wealthy enough to live anywhere, he stayed close. Travis trusted him as much as he trusted any of his brothers. Maybe more. Austin stayed because he wanted to, rather than simply because of the loyalty of blood.

“You chose not to belong,” Travis said.

“You chose not to get involved.” Austin jerked his head toward Mandy. “Face it, Travis, you've got it bad for the lady and her little girl. You can run but you can't hide.”

“No. It's not like that. I'll admit Mandy's got me by the short hairs. I would do just about anything for that kid. Her dad won't be showing up in her life anytime soon. I want to be there for her. Warn her away from guys like you.”