The Best Advice I Ever Got (15 page)

Bob Schieffer

Emmy Award-Winning Journalist, Chief Washington Correspondent of CBS News, and Anchor of
Face the Nation

Momo’s Rules

My mother was a child of the Depression who was widowed at the age of forty-five, with three children. She devoted herself to us and was the driving force in our lives.

Like many grandparents, she was named by her grandchildren; but before she became Momo she raised us by a simple set of rules that I still live by—and, in truth, still live in fear of violating. She was one formidable woman.

Momo’s rules, in no particular order:

1. Never lie, cheat, or steal
.

No explanation required, but heaven help the one of us who violated that rule—and she set her expectations high. Once, my brother’s friends were jailed for a college prank and my brother, who had innocently stayed out of trouble, thought that he deserved some credit. “Credit for what?” Momo replied. “I didn’t send you to college to get thrown in jail. That’s the least I expect of you.”

2. It is better to get to the airport too early than too late
.

To Momo, punctuality was next to godliness. Maybe that’s why I never missed a flight or a deadline in more than fifty years as a reporter. To this day, I still think of her every time I go to an airport.

3. When you are doing something important, make sure you have a smile on your face and a shine on your shoes
.

Throughout my life, I have never applied for a job, gone on an important assignment, or shown up for an interview without first checking my shoes, which always makes me think of Momo and smile. Did freshly shined shoes lead to some of my better interviews? Probably not. But she believed that a man who didn’t care about his personal appearance showed a lack of respect for himself. “If you don’t respect yourself, why should anyone else respect you?” she asked.

4. Go vote! It makes you feel big and strong
.

I can’t remember a time in my life when politics didn’t dominate the conversation at our house. My mother loved politics and always said, “If you don’t vote, you can’t complain about what you get.” To this day, I take the same delight that she did in voting for those I like (and sometimes greater pleasure in voting against those I don’t like). And I always vote, because I know that if I don’t she’ll come back and give me a good going-over.

I wouldn’t wish Momo’s punishments for violating her rules on anyone, but her methods worked well for our family. Not a day passes that I don’t think of Momo and what she taught us. From what I can tell, my daughters are raising their own children by the same rules. Momo would have liked that. Actually, she would have expected it.

General Ray Odierno

United States Commander in Iraq

Real Success

I agree with William Arthur Ward that “greatness is not found in possessions, power, position, or prestige. It is discovered in goodness, humility, service, and character.”

Rania Al Abdullah

Queen of Jordan

Through Other Eyes

Thirteen years ago, I was having a casual breakfast with my beloved father-in-law, the late King Hussein, when he looked me straight in the eye and asked me a simple question: “What do you think of me?”

Here was a man whose very name was synonymous with strength, courage, and determination. The only thought to cross my mind was “How can a world leader of
your
stature possibly care about
my
opinion?”

Later, I understood why King Hussein had asked me that question: He wanted to see himself through someone else’s eyes. Only later did I realize that he had been asking that question of people all his life. It wasn’t about flattery or insecurity. It wasn’t about pride or arrogance. It was about humility—the greatest virtue of any leader.

As human beings, we are all works in progress, and none of us is above a little self-reflection. If we see ourselves as others see us, we begin to appreciate our kaleidoscopic dimensions. If we value one another’s perspectives, we add more depth to our own. And if we concede our imperfections, we grant ourselves space to improve.

That’s how we serve those around us more fully and lovingly. That’s how we give of ourselves more wholly. That’s how King Hussein did it: The more open he became, the more he found he could contain.

It was quite a breakfast.

Jay Leno

Comedian and Host of
The Tonight Show

Be Open to Other People

I had very good parents. My mother came to this country from Scotland by herself when she was eleven, and she didn’t have much of an education. My dad was kind of a street kid, and he eventually went into the insurance business selling nickel policies door-to-door. It was the 1930s, a time when America was a lot more racist and segregated than it is now. One day my dad asked his boss, “What’s the toughest market to sell?” and the insurance guy replied, “Well, black people. They don’t buy insurance.” My dad thought, But they have kids, they have families. Why wouldn’t they buy insurance? So he said, “Give me Harlem.” He took the Harlem territory and sold nickel policies; every Friday he would go around and collect the nickel and give his customers a receipt on the policy.

When my dad died in 1994, I talked about him on
The Tonight Show
. I told the story of how he worked in Harlem and how he always taught us to be open-minded and not to say or think racist things. Then one day I got a letter from a woman who was about seventy-five years old. She wrote that when she was a little girl a man used to come to her house to collect policies and he would always bring her a lollipop. She said this man was the only white person who had ever come to dinner at their house, and the only white person she had ever had dinner with period until she got to be almost an adult. This man was very kind to her, she said, and his name was Angelo—was this my father? The letter really made me cry. I called her up and said that, yes, that was in fact my dad, and she told me how kind he was to her family. Her whole attitude toward white people was based on that one nice man she met in her childhood, who always treated her with kindness and respect, and always gave her a piece of candy and asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up. From this experience, I learned a valuable life lesson never to judge people, and to be open-minded and kind to others.

Gloria Steinem

Writer and Feminist Organizer

Top Ten Pieces of Advice I Just Made Up for Myself—See If Any Help You

1. If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck and quacks like a duck but you think it’s a pig, it’s a pig.
   
2. Marx was smart about a lot of things, but not about the end justifying the means. Actually, the means dictate the ends. We won’t have laughter and kindness and poetry and pleasure at the end of any revolution unless we have laughter and kindness and poetry and pleasure along the way.
   
3. Laughter is the most revolutionary emotion, because it’s free and can’t be forced. Fear can be compelled. Even love can be compelled if we’re kept isolated and dependent long enough. But laughter comes from an “Aha!” place of sudden understanding when known things come together and make something new. Einstein had to be careful while shaving because when he suddenly had an “Aha!” he laughed and cut himself.
   
4. There’s more variation
   among
   human groups than
   between
   human groups. “Masculine” and “feminine” are created roles, as are ideas of race and class. So when making any generalized statement about women and men, substitute, say, “Gentiles and Jews,” “whites and blacks,” or “rich and poor.” If it’s still acceptable, okay. If it’s not, it’s not.
   
5. For ninety-five percent of human history, spirituality placed god in all living things. Then god was withdrawn from women and nature to make it okay to conquer women and nature. As a smart Egyptologist said, “Monotheism is but imperialism in religion.” Here’s the good news: What humans did, humans can undo.
   
6. Religion is too often politics in the sky. When God looks like the ruling class, we’re in deep shit. When there’s a limited priesthood, it’s deeper. When we’re told to obey in order to get a reward after death, it’s deepest. Now that doomsday religions have coincided with doomsday weapons, it may mean life or death to return spirituality to religion.
   
7. The Golden Rule was written by smart folks for people who were superior:
   Treat others as you would want to be treated
   . Especially women, but also men who’ve been inferior, need to reverse this:
   Treat yourself as well as you treat others
   .
   
8. Labeling makes the invisible visible, but it’s limiting. Categories are the enemy of connecting.
   Link
   , don’t
   rank
   .
   
9. All five of our senses exist
   only
   in the present. We can’t fully live in the past or the future—or even in Computer Land.
   Right now, where you are is all there is
   .
   
10. If even one generation was born without ranking and raised without violence, we have no idea what might be possible on this Spaceship Earth.