The Berserker and the Pedant (11 page)

The troll batted the axe aside and stabbed Gurken in the shoulder with one of its claws. The troll's hand sizzled and burned where it struck the axe, and the troll recoiled in pain. Gurken picked his shield from the ground and smashed it into the troll's leg. There were the sickening sounds of ligaments popping and tendons tearing as the troll fell to one knee, a smile upon its face.

Arthur said, "Intentoque lux trabem!" A pencil-thin beam of light shot from the orb, slicing into the troll. The troll continued to smile.

"Littl' light no hurt Blod, Blod too strong," said the troll. 

"The little light doesn't hurt Blod," corrected Arthur. He dragged the beam across the troll's flesh, slicing through it easily, but the flesh mended and healed just as quickly. 

Blod furrowed its brows, grinned wickedly. "Yes, wizard. Littl' light no hurt Blod. But, Blod hurt you." Blod stood, the ligaments and tendons on his knee healing, slurping and popping back into place. Blod stepped on Gurken, slamming him to the ground as he strode over him. Blod reached out, and its fingers fell off, cut by Arthur's beam. Blod slashed Arthur across the neck with the claws of his other hand, slicing off Arthur's head. 

Arthur fell to the ground, the orb bouncing out of his hand and rolling over to the bushes, where it came to rest. Moog peeked out of the bush, reached out and grabbed the orb.

Blod grabbed the sack that had held the goblins and tossed the unconscious bodies of Gurken, Pellonia and Arthur into it.

"Arthur die lots," Moog said. "Moog made quick resurrection spell." Moog stabbed at a glowing dot on the orb with his finger. A light shone down from the heavens, and Arthur started the process of growing from a speck again. The troll grabbed Moog and threw him in the sack. Then the troll saw Arthur growing and watched, curious. When Arthur had grown to full size, the troll looked at Arthur's corpse and back to Arthur again.

"Blod takes both," Blod said and threw Arthur and his corpse into the sack. Blod wandered over to the goblin, which had gotten stuck rolling up against a tree. He picked the goblin up, smelled it, wrinkled his nose and tossed it into the sack as well. Finally, Blod closed the bag and wandered off to find the elves.

"Quit squirmin'," Blod said, smacking the sack. "Leon take Blod back. Blod finds you!"

Antic watched the troll lumber off. He'd been lazing around in Arthur's robes, luxuriating in the warmth of his companion, when he was jerked awake and flung out of the robes and into the forest. Antic skittered around the clearing, sniffing everything he could find. There was quite a bit of troll blood, dwarfen blood, and the scent of death where his companion had lain. Antic's antennae quivered, and he wandered away in the direction opposite the path the troll had taken.

Episode Twelve

The Berserker and the Awakening

"What happened?" Arthur asked. "One second I'm being killed by goblins, the next I'm being thrown into a sack by a troll!"

Arthur, Gurken, Moog and the goblin were at the bottom of a tall muddy pit, the walls of which rose rather sharply, and had no obvious ways to climb out. After walking for a while, the troll had removed Pellonia from the sack, overturned it, and dumped everyone else into the pit. The goblin bounced around a few times and rolled to a stop while Arthur, Gurken and Moog landed with a loud splut.

"Don't you remember searching for Pellonia? Or rescuing the goblin and fighting the troll?" Gurken responded.

"Why would we rescue a goblin?" asked Arthur. "Didn't they just kill me?"

"Pellonia's right. You do hold a grudge for a long time," said Gurken.

"They killed me TWO hours ago!"

"It's been a couple of days," said Gurken. Moog nodded.

"Not to me, it hasn't! And why am I human again, and why is that" - Arthur pointed at his corpse - "human, and why is it here? Why do we have a goblin dressed up like a scarecrow on a feast day? Where is my centaur corpse?"

"Centaur corpses," corrected Moog. Arthur both scowled and looked hopelessly confused.

"Wizards ask too many questions," Gurken said, looking at Moog. Moog nodded.

Arthur leaned his head against his hands and said, "I don't think I'm being unreasonable."

Arthur stripped his corpse of wizarding robes and put them on. Patting his chest, hips, and arms, he asked, "Where's Antic?"

Pellonia woke up thinking,
I've been spending entirely too much time waking up.
She was lying on a cot. She cracked open her eyes and saw Melody in a chair to her left and Leon in a chair to her right. Leon had one arm draped over the back of the chair and was sitting cross-legged, while Melody was sitting with her hands in her lap. They were both staring at her.

"Oh, good!" Leon exclaimed. "She's awake! Well, let's get going." He hopped off the chair. Pellonia sat up on the cot, seeing that they were in a rather large tent, large enough that some might even consider it to be a small pavilion.

"Slow down, Leon," Melody said. "We don't even know yet if she wants to come with us."

"Pfffhhh. Of course she wants to come with us. Why wouldn't she? It's time for her first Awakening and the Phage is comin-"

"What's the Phage?" Pellonia asked.

Leon paused mid-sentence. "I can't tell you that, you aren't Awakened."

"So, let me see if I understand. If I want to know about the Phage, I have to be Awakened, and I should be Awakened because of the Phage?"

"That about covers it," said Leon. "Let's get going, our ship's leaving. The Phage will arrive soon."

"What about my friends?" Pellonia asked. "Can they come as well?"

"Absolutely not!" Leon gasped. "Chimarae are not permitted on board."

"What are chimerae? No, no, let me guess; you can't tell me that either?"

"Yeeaaahhh. No."

Melody said, "Leon, you aren't very good at not saying things you're not supposed to say, are you?"

"She is one of us, after all. It's a bit confusing."

"Why don't you go get the trolls, and I'll talk to Pellonia," Melody said.

"That sounds good to me." Leon walked out of the tent.

Melody watched Leon leave, waited a moment, then said "The Phage are creatures from another world. We're at war with them, and they'll be coming to this world soon. Chimerae are creatures we've created to fight the Phage."

"Arthur, Gurken and Moog are chimerae?"

"Gurken and Moog are chimerae. Arthur is human."

"And humans aren't chimerae?"

"No, humans aren't chimerae."

Pellonia sat expressionless for a time, then looked at Melody with a look of determination. "It doesn't matter if the Phage are coming, I won't abandon my friends. If they stay, I'm staying too."

"Oomph," Arthur said. "How can you two be so short and yet weigh so much?" Moog was standing on Arthur's shoulders, and Gurken was standing on Moog's head, stretching up and pulling himself out of the pit. 

Gurken stood up near the edge of the pit, pounded his chest with one hand and said, "Thick bones!" He reached his axe handle into the pit and pulled Moog out. Arthur tossed the goblin and the rest of their equipment up and over the edge of the pit, grabbed the axe hilt and walked up the side of the pit while Gurken and Moog pulled.

"Okay," said Arthur. "Here's the plan. First, we rescue Pellonia. Second, we locate and retrieve the orb. Third, we get out of here."

"That's more of a list of goals than it is a plan," Gurken objected.

"I'm afraid that I must agree," said a voice behind them. They turned and saw Leon, who they had yet to meet, standing with his arms crossed. Three trolls loomed over him, smiling and drooling. One was staring at the goblin, running his tongue over his lips. 

Leon said, "That's not much of a plan. Plans are more specific. They're broken down into actual steps for accomplishing the goals. And besides, you can't have Pellonia. She's coming with us."

"An' ah'm gonna eat yur goblin. Taasssttttyyyy," said the troll.

"Hush," said Leon, "You aren't helping."

Gurken drew his axe. "I don't know who you are, elf, but you will release Pellonia at once." Tiwaz, the dwarfen rune of knowing where one's true strengths lie, glowed a virulent amber, and upside down, on Gurken's axe.

Leon looked at the axe and then back to Gurken. "You're Durstin's boy, aren't you? I've heard of you. Honestly, I don't know what he was thinking. How are you going to save this world? You can't, you're just a dwarf with anger issu-" Leon ducked just fast enough to dodge the bulk of the blow, but the axe clipped the top of his head, knocking him to the ground. The trolls' eyes grew wide in shock. One pointed while covering its mouth and snickering.

Leon pulled himself up and saw the trolls laughing; his eyes turned the color of elven steel. Three orbs flew off his back and hovered a foot over his head, covered in ice, fire, and lightning. "Ignis!" shouted Leon, pointing at Gurken. A gout of flame erupted from an orb, sending a searing wall of flames toward Gurken.

Moog ran, rolling the goblin along in front of him. Arthur stepped back and drew his orb. The trolls lumbered towards him, bumping into each other in their haste. Arthur said "Lux, Lux, LUX!" and bright lights flashed in the trolls' eyes. The trolls howled in pain and rubbed at their eyes.

Algiz, the dwarfen rune of protection, glowed on Gurken's axe, and a protective dome formed over Gurken. The orb's fire harmlessly licked at the dome.

Leon swore an oath. "Durstin has outfit you well. Fortunately, I don't need these toys to deal with you." Leon drew his sword, the veins of his skin engorged and darkened into a sharp bluish-steel sheen, and then he was gone, moving so fast as to appear nothing more than a blur. Gurken's axe flew from his grip, his protective dome collapsing. Blood spurted from Gurken's shoulder, and his knee buckled and collapsed from blows too quick to observe.

Gurken fell to the ground; Leon stopped moving; his sword's tip quivered, humming against Gurken's neck. "Do you yield, dwarf?" Leon asked, smirking.

The trolls finally adapted to the flashing lights in their eyes through the ingenious method known as squinting. They charged toward Arthur once more.