The Bear Who Loved Me (19 page)

F
ive days! Five days until they could assemble the surgical team to pull the bullets out of Carl. Becca was fuming at the wait, but right here was one of the problems with maintaining shifter secrecy. It didn't matter that Carl had three bullets hanging out in his torso. He wasn't dying—not quickly—so they had to wait until a shifter team could be assembled to dig them out without asking awkward questions. That meant coordinating a surgeon from Ann Arbor, an anesthesiologist from Detroit, and two nurses from Grand Rapids.

Infuriating. But at least she could use the time to learn more about the Gladwin community with Theo. What she discovered was not at all what she expected.

First, she learned that gossip ran fast through shifters. Tight-knit communities meant that word spread like lightning about Carl's heroics in saving her. Within a day, Carl's home was bursting with cards and gifts of specialty honey as each member of the Gladwin clan pledged loyalty in one way or another. Many promised new clan gifts, goods and services that needed to be organized in a complicated bartering system. Alan was overwhelmed just responding to the communications, so Becca stepped in to maintain the filing. It was the only thing that kept her from constantly touching Theo just to reassure herself he was alive.

That was the second thing she realized. Theo loved being a bear shifter. What boy wouldn't love eating everything in sight and having an entirely new group of rumble, tumble boys to bond with? Turned out there was a whole welcoming process after a First Change. As the two new shifters this season, Theo and Justin spent almost all their time together, talking shifter stories with the other teens, playing Halo to all hours, and eating whatever they wanted. School and homework would loom soon, but Becca decided this was more important, and her decision seemed justified as her boy grew stronger and happier with every passing second.

The third thing she noticed was that Carl was avoiding her. At first, it was just the business of being the alpha that kept him away. That and the fact that he slept for nearly three days. He'd told her that bears couldn't shift more than once in twenty-four hours. She'd assumed that meant they could change once a day without ill effects. Turns out she was dead wrong.

Most grizzlies couldn't shift more than once a week. Carl had done it three times in four days, fought in a challenge to the death, and gotten shot with bullets and tranquilizing darts. No wonder the Gladwins suddenly thought he was powerful enough to face down the Detroit gangs. And no wonder that when the doctor knocked him unconscious, he stayed under for three days.

But once he woke up, there was a backlog of work. He called other alphas, studied the police reports, organized the search for the missing Crazy Einstein and his cat-eyed companion, plus welcomed two new shifters into the Gladwin fold. That was the other part of the welcome process: a week closeted with the alpha as the newly changed learned what it meant to be a Gladwin grizzly. Becca asked Theo what they talked about and was told that it was shifter stuff and not for her.

Ouch.

And that was another thing she learned. No matter how much the locals welcomed her as Theo's parent, no matter how much her own fame had built as the woman who kept the boys alive until Carl could rescue them, she was still fully human and therefore not quite one of the Gladwins. It didn't bother her. She didn't need to get long nosed and hairy to feel whole. She knew her own value and couldn't care less what the others thought of her. So long as Theo was healthy and happy, all was right with her world.

Except that she could tell it bothered Carl. He overheard Theo's comment about it being “shifter stuff” and gave her son such a lecture that even Becca's ears felt blistered. Anyone who even looked askance at her was treated to an icy stare, so people started treating her like royalty. It was weird and had to stop. But every time she went to talk to him, he was busy. And since she'd never been one to force herself on someone who didn't want her, she let him be. But she sure as hell felt lonely when he slept in the dormitory with Theo and the other kids.

Conclusion: their romance had been a crisis management thing and not a real love affair. At least on Carl's side.

So Becca began to make plans to return to her life in Kalamazoo. She meant to help past Carl's convalescence, but Theo's schoolwork hit its own crisis. He'd missed so much that he really needed to get back. She'd wondered if they should leave earlier, but then Carl took the decision away from her. He arranged for Mark to take them home right after the surgery.

And so it was. Becca, Theo, and Alan watched from the viewing platform as they pulled bullets out of Carl. She was with him when he woke from the anesthetic, his shifter metabolism sealing things up nice and tight. He might not even have a scar after his next shift. She wanted to stay, feeling like events were running away from her, but Mark was waiting, Theo had to get to school, and Carl gave her no reason to stay. In fact, the last thing he said to her was that he'd miss her and that she wasn't pregnant. Apparently, he could smell a pregnancy and she hadn't conceived. So that was it. A second later, he'd turned to Alan, asking for an update on the cat shifter research.

So she left. His words had been the death knell to all her romantic thoughts of the two of them living happily ever after.

Once home, it was unnerving how quickly she and Theo picked up the rhythm of their days. He had to study his ass off to catch up, and she had to decorate cakes night and day for a week. Thanks to Stacy, she still had a bakery to come back to, and for that she made the woman partner as soon as Stacy got the buy-in cash together. In fact, everything was exactly like it had been before this all began. Except Theo was ten times happier and she was a hundred times more furious.

How dare Carl just toss her away like she meant nothing to him? What they'd shared had been real. And he needed her, damn it! Who was going to help him express all those bottled-up emotions, if not her? And how was she going to face her boring, mundane life without the magic of him and his world? Every time she thought about what he was throwing away, the more pissed off she got.

But what exactly was she going to do about it?

Two weeks later, she figured out an answer. She set it in motion the very next day, but it would take weeks if not months to come to fruition. Plus, Theo was just getting his feet under him again academically. Becca couldn't make major changes until the school year ended. But oh, the wait burned. As did the increasing silence from the Stupid Beast formerly known as Carl. The guy hadn't even emailed her! Though in his defense, she didn't email him either. What would she say? You're an idiot? Why don't you love me? None of those would work, so she focused on making summer plans.

Which put her right back where she was at the very beginning of this adventure: in the workroom of her bakery making cakes while silently fretting. What was that saying? The more things changed, the more they stayed the same.

She carefully finished writing “Happy Birthday, Jenna” on a cake, then set it aside to focus on her newest cake sensation. Oddly enough, it seemed to be a favorite among boys as well as girls, so that was a plus. If only a certain grizzly someone would look at the damned thing and understand what it meant.

She heard the shop door jingle. A frequent sound these days thanks to a promotion Stacy had put into effect in Becca's absence. Who knew a single radio ad could bring in so much money? She heard Stacy greet the customer so she focused instead on fashioning the fighting figures decorating the top the cake in front of her. This one used Cinderella's castle as a backdrop for the main action and—added bonus—required a ton less construction.

And then her back started to prickle with awareness. She froze, her mind scrambling to prepare for who she hoped she see if she just turned around.

“Um, hello, Becca. Do you, uh…do you have a minute?”

Carl. Finally.

She slowly straightened and turned to look. How many times had she imagined this moment? In her mind's eye, she'd pictured him looking everything from completely haggard because he missed her so much to dressed to the nines in a tuxedo and carrying a dozen roses. But she hadn't pictured him in an ill-fitting suit and carrying a briefcase. He looked almost lawyerlike.

“Carl,” she said, hating that her voice came out almost as a purr. Even rumpled and awkward, he still rang all her bells. “Or should I call you Mr. Max?”

His eyes widened and then narrowed in consternation. “You can call me anything you want, Becca.” Then he hesitated a moment. “Unless you'd prefer Ms. Weitz?”

“Becca is fine.” She leaned back against her worktable, taking the time to study him closely. He seemed tired and wary, but otherwise fine. As far as she could tell he moved smoothly and, aside from appearing nervous, he looked healthy enough. But she still had to ask. “How are you feeling? Is everything okay?”

“Fully recovered and yes, everything's fine. Better than ever, actually, though we haven't found…” He swallowed, clearly wondering if he should mention the whole ordeal or not.

“The bad guys,” she supplied.

“Right. The bad guys.” He tugged at his beard. “How's Theo doing? I heard he got an A on his geometry test.”

“Amy still keeping an eye on him for you?”

He flushed. “No, I haven't talked to her in weeks. Theo emailed me. He's excited about the scholarship we've got set up for Gladwins who get into college. Wants me to know he's getting top grades.”

“He is. And I'm grateful for the extra incentive.”

“Anything to help.” Then he stood there in the doorway, hunched and uncomfortable. An evil part of her wanted to make him stand there longer, punishment for how tortured she'd felt earlier. But a larger part wanted him in her life, so she was quick to pull out a stool for him.

“Come on in, Carl. Take a load off. I heard you've been shot a few dozen times. Probably takes its toll and you could use a rest.”

“I'm not decrepit yet,” he shot back. But he did take a few steps into her workroom and then carefully settled down on a stool.

“Touchy, touchy alpha,” she teased, hoping they could recover their earlier sense of banter. More than anything else, she missed their easy communication.

He snorted. “You have no idea. Since everyone is suddenly convinced of my grizzly power, I've had nursing from women throughout the state. They just show up to ‘help me get back on my feet.' Like I'm in a wheelchair or something.”

Was that why he hadn't contacted her? Because more eligible shifter women were claiming his attention? The idea made her hands clench as she imagined tossing each hussy across the border. The United States/Mexico border.

“I've been shoving them at Alan, hoping he'll look at someone other than Tonya.”

Well, that thought brightened her mood considerably. “Is it working?”

Carl shrugged. “Not that I can see. I think he's given up on the shifter community altogether. He probably wants a nice human girl to warm him at night.”

Oh. Didn't that just draw the line clear and dark between shifters and humans? All her hopes started to whither inside her. With a sigh, she looked back at her half-finished cake but didn't move to start working again. “Is there something you wanted, Carl?” Given the briefcase, there could be all sorts of police, legal, or other crap to deal with, none of it remotely interesting to her.

“Y-yeah. There is.”

She looked up. Stammering wasn't his usual style. A bolt of alarm shot through her and the words tumbled out of her before she could stop and think. “Is Theo in danger? Are they coming back? What aren't you telling me?”

He reached out, his large palm stroking her forearm in a gentle press. “Theo's fine. I've got people nearby if needed, but honestly he's learning to use his shifter senses. He won't be taken easily ever again.”

She nodded. That's what she told herself every night when she woke up sweating with terror. “I'd still feel better if we were closer to the main fold,” she grumbled.

He jolted, his hand squeezing then lifting off her to hover uncertainly an inch above her arm. “You'd consider that?”

“Of course I'd consider that,” she snapped, annoyed at him for being so thick-headed. “Theo has to learn about his father's family,” she said. “Sure, he's already planning on spending the entire summer up there, but I'd be crazy not to consider moving to Gladwin permanently. He says he feels the draw even now and wants to roam around in a forest. As a bear. That isn't exactly safe in Kalamazoo. So of course I'm thinking about moving. You've got to have a sane way of doing that up there.”

“We did. My mom used to organize monthly bear parties. Kind of like big picnics that are managed for everyone's safety. We ought to do those again.”

She looked at him. That almost sounded like fun. “Yeah, you should.”

“I will. And you and Theo would be welcome. Only a small percentage shift. It's a time for the whole community to get together. And I'd really like it if you were there.”

She studied his face. He appeared earnest. More than that, she thought she saw a quiet yearning in his eyes. An echo of the desperation she'd once seen in his bear's eyes. Lonely hunger held back for her sake.

It was the “held back” that pissed her off. Damn it, she was done with sitting on tenterhooks. She was tired of waiting for him to get off his ass. He'd shown her that she could handle herself in front of motorcycle riding killers and mad scientists. She'd be damned if she let one stupid bear alpha make her insane.

“Damn it, Carl, I wish you'd just get to the point. Why are you here?”

His eyes widened and he fumbled on his stool. Not surprising, given that his seat was narrow and half covered in flour. But she hadn't expected her frustrated question to have him falling onto the floor.