The Bear and the Unicorn (Supernatural Enforcers Agency Book 6) (4 page)

“Humph.”  He frowned and grumbled with all the grace of a three-year-old little boy who wasn’t getting any ice cream after dinner.  “Another time?”

“Ummm hmmm.” 
The first Thursday after hell freezes over
.

Erik bid her good night, slightly mollified, and as he made his pecs dance for her, she ran out of there before she really did crack up.

Sky made her way to the bus stop and rubbed her forehead.  Erik certainly was a strange one.  Maybe she should actually start making plans for her evenings, so she didn’t have to lie to him.  Could she help it if she preferred staying in, meditating and then curling up with a good book?  She wasn’t a big drinker.  None of her friends were.  She was sure there were a lot more useful things she could do with her time than hanging around a crowded bar watching men like Erik get drunk and aggressively hit on women who wanted nothing to do with them.

She pulled out her iPod and popped in some earbuds, losing herself in some Cyndi Lauper.  She loved eighties music.

Her inner unicorn had almost calmed from the run-in with Erik when a shiver of alarm pulsed through her.  She wasn’t a predator – nope she was a veggie eater through and through, but her senses were enhanced enough to sense someone watching her.

Casually, she stretched out her arms and pretended to yawn while scanning the area.  Nothing.  It was already dark, and she couldn’t make out anything unusual.  Perhaps it was just Erik watching her from the gym.  Course, he’d have to get up on the roof to spy on her – but then that wasn’t completely out of the way for him.  He had clambered up there with binoculars when the women from the salon across the street had been tanning topless on their roof.  They stopped doing it after someone made an anonymous phone call to the cops. 
He he he.

She glanced in that direction and spotted a glint from the roof.  Binoculars again.  Must be Erik.  In spite of being totally creeped out by his behavior, she was kind of relieved.  Better the pervert you know and all that.

Her beast snorted,
not sure that was true
.

Thankfully her bus was coming up the street, so she didn’t bother to dwell on it.  And tomorrow was Tuesday and Erik was usually out all day topping up on the tanning beds.  She’d have a nice quiet day.  Plus, she had a tofu casserole and a new mystery novel waiting for her at home.  Bliss.

*

Booker lowered the binoculars.  He scratched his forehead, his fingers tracing the scar over his eyebrow.  A constant reminder to never underestimate your target.  It bothered him at the time, the smell of blood fresh under his nostrils, and he had gladly ripped out the throat of the shifter who did it, but he didn’t mind it now. 
Chicks dig scars
.

He grabbed his cell phone and called Jones.  “She’s on her way home.  You have ten minutes to get out.”

He hung up and gracefully made his way down to the ground with ease.  Booker was bulky and muscled, but as a gorilla shifter, he was an adept climber when he needed to be.  He walked to the van, his feet not making a sound.

“Anything?” he grunted at Vargas

The jaguar shifter shook his head and pulled his headphones off.  “Fucktard elk shifter made a pass at her; that was pretty funny.”

“The one with the cute haircut?”

“Yep.”

“Sorry I missed it.”

“Nothing else, though.  She doesn’t act like a mythical beast.  She’s just… normal.”

Booker and his beast snorted.  “She recycles, doesn’t own a car and eats tofu for pleasure – I wouldn’t call any of those things normal.”

Vargas chuckled and pulled the headphones back on.  They’d bugged just about every room in the gym, hoping to get something on Sky Danvers – either from herself or one of her friends.  Jones should be finishing bugging her house right about now.  If they were right about her species, this one would be a piece of cake, and he wanted it done quickly.

Vargas pulled the headphones off and almost had to wipe tears of laughter away.

“What?” Booker snapped impatiently.

“That fucking elk is in there beating off and calling Sky a whore.  You should hear him.”  Vargas raised his voice in imitation.  “
Yeah, bitch, you like that
…”

“Dumb dickhead.”

Vargas flashed his fangs as an evil smile crept over his face.  “Let’s trash his car and watch him freak out.”

Booker was going to smash Vargas in the mouth and tell him to grow the fuck up.  But his gorilla perked up at the idea.  He’d been so intent on his mission that he hadn’t had fun in a long time.  “Sure why not.”  Watching the elk throw a hissy fight would definitely be fun.

Chapter Five

“Mercy!” howled Zane, stomping out of his office into the waiting area.

His secretary was propped up on her desk, leaning on one hand, her mouth wide open and a pair of sunglasses covering her eyes.

“What?” she mumbled.

“Am I keeping you up?” he hissed

“Yes.”

“What do I…”

He was about to ask, what do I pay you for, and then realized, he would need to pay her before he got away with that. Mercy knew it, too - judging by the way her eyebrows lifted over her sunglasses.

“Late night?” he asked gruffly.

“I covered Cookie’s shift at The Magic Room.  She had to take her boyfriend to the ER, and I needed the money.”

“What happened to her boyfriend?” 
Perhaps something he could help with?

“He got punched in the face and kicked in the groin – hard.”

“He need help tracking down who did it?”

“Nah – it was Cookie.”

“Oh.”

“Serves him right for fooling around with her sister.”

“Good of her to take him to the ER.”  He thought of the six-foot-two Cookie – a black bear shifter with a fetish for knives – and considered her boyfriend was lucky he wasn’t in the morgue.

“That’s what I said.  Did you need me?”

“Huh?”

“You bellowed my name.”

“Oh, ah…”  He opened his fist over her desk, and the remnants of a set of coloring pencils cascaded over the empty files she kept there to make it look like they actually had clients.

Mercy sighed and opened the bottom drawer to her desk, pulled out a new set and tossed it at him.  “Do you need a new book too?”

“Maybe,” he muttered.  The new book was thrown at him as well.  His bear sounded like he was snickering.

Mercy took off her sunglasses and rubbed her eyes.  “I know adult coloring books are fashionable at the moment.  But have you considered that maybe they aren’t for you?”  She leaned to one side to see all the balled up pieces of paper littering the floor of his office.

“They’re supposed to help you relax,” he ground out through gritted teeth.

“Yes, they are supposed to help with stress – not cause it.”

Yep, he’d moved onto coloring books.  The fish – as pretty as they were – were not helping.  Although thankfully Mercy had taken it upon herself to look after them - he kept forgetting.  Poor little suckers would be floating upside down already if it weren’t for her.

He huffed and went back to his office, slamming the door behind him.  Not his fault if the stupid pencils would not stay in the lines.  He remembered doing this as a kid, but he had to say, he didn’t remember it being this hard or tedious.  Maybe he ought to try something else – this didn’t appear to be working. 
How about roaring at the pimple-faced coffee shop guy who was too busy flirting to get your order right
suggested his bear.  Little shit deserved a good scare.

Zane ignored him, and with his tongue clenched between his teeth, he managed to color a very intricate part of the butterfly picture before the buzzer on the intercom sounded, sending a smear of red across the page.

“Hell.  Damn.  Crap!” he snarled and tore the page out of the book, screwing it up and hurling it across the room.

“What?” he snapped into the intercom.

“Somebody’s here to see you,” hissed Mercy.

“Ah, show them in.”

Mercy with a look of disapproval led in an elderly wombat shifter, trembling slightly, probably from Zane’s roars.  He snapped at his bear to calm the hell down and behave - they couldn’t afford to lose a potential client.

Zane cleared his throat and gestured to the chair in front of his desk.  He introduced himself, and she told him, in a small voice, her name was Mrs. Dodi Demeter.

“Can we get you a drink?”  He nodded at Mercy.

“How’s your coffee?” she asked, eyes perking up in interest.

Mercy smiled.  “I get it from the coffee shop two doors down, so it’s pretty great.”

They had to - ever since Zane broke their machine.  Hey, those tiny cups aren’t as easy to use as they look.  Who knew the lever would snap off so easily?  At the time he was shifted to his bear and the lever was in his jaws, but nonetheless, he was still intending on complaining to the company that makes them.

“A latte, if it’s no trouble,” said Mrs. Demeter.

“My usual,” rumbled Zane.

“Which is?” asked Mercy sweetly.

He tapped his finger on the desk. 
Every freaking time
.  “You know what that is.”

Mercy laughed musically, and Mrs. Demeter relaxed slightly.

Zane didn’t make people feel at ease.  He held a tension within his own body that came from trying to control a bear that didn’t like being controlled.  People – especially shifters – could sense his turmoil and it made them uneasy.  But Mercy, without being touchy-feely – because she hated that crap – could always pacify people.  Even through her teasing and sarcasm, she made people feel good -  something to do with her being a dove no doubt.  Bird of peace and all that.  It was one of the reasons Mercy was worth her weight in gold.

Mercy swished out the office on her four-inch heels, and Zane tried to arrange his face into a bland look, which came across as more of a scowl.  He was one of nature’s scowlers.

“How can I help?”

“I’m probably being silly…” she started and then chewed on her lip.

“Just tell me.”

“The SEA said it was low priority…”  She paused, and Zane felt his foot tapping as he waited for her to continue.  She didn’t, and his bear paced impatiently. 
Spill it
he roared.

“Nothing is low priority around here,” said Zane encouragingly.

“They said they’d look into it but…”

“Just tell me!” snapped Zane, immediately followed by some placating apologies.

His outburst worked, though.  Seconds later…

“My underwear keeps going missing from my clothes line,” she blurted and then blushed furiously.

Zane took a moment to compose himself as his bear bellowed with laughter.

He took out a pad and a pen.  “So,” he said calmly and immensely proud of himself, “theft?”

A grateful look flashed over her features.  “Yes.”

“And when did this start Mrs. Demeter?”

“Please call me Dodi.  About a month ago.  It’s not technically my underwear.  Well, one piece was… I take in laundry for most of the people in the neighborhood – those who don’t have time to do it themselves.  They don’t pay much – usually, they pay me with something they’ve cooked, or grown or they fix my husband’s car.  We’re not exactly rich, but we get by.  My husband works at the snowglobe factory.  Here.”

She pulled a small globe out of her pocket and thrust it at him.  It depicted a beach and numerous species of animals sunbathing.  Around the edge it said, Los Lobos – Take a Sunbathe on the Wild Side.

“My husband thought up that slogan,” she told him proudly.

“Hmm.”  He placed it on his desk.  “So what happened?”

“I always put the more delicate items out on a line, rather than using a dryer.  At first, it was just a thong.  I thought I’d lost it, and I just apologized to Shira – she’s a tiger shifter and a bit of a nymphomaniac if you ask me, if all the men going in and out of her house are anything to go by.  Shira said it was fine, that she has plenty others.  Anyway, the next thing was this pretty turquoise bra that belongs to Hettie, who lives across from me.  She’s got seven kids and two more on the way because her mate is horny all the time and she says he just won’t go to sleep at night, plus he doesn’t like condoms, and she doesn’t like other birth control.  Lucky for Hettie he only has eyes for her, because he is one handsome devil and I bet dollars to donuts that Shira wouldn’t kick him out of bed.  But then Shira wouldn’t kick anyone out of bed.  You know she once…”

Zane held up his hand; a strange, angry buzz started sounding in his head.  “Let’s stick to the facts.”

“It’s a fact that she once tied a pizza delivery boy to her bed and left him there for two hours while she went grocery shopping.”  Dodi clucked her tongue.

The flimsy pen in his hand split in two, and he grabbed a spare – from his huge stash – out of his drawer.  “About the thefts.”

She frowned.  “Where was I?”

“Turquoise bra?”

“Oh, yes, well Hettie was devastated.  She can’t afford sexy underwear, and that was the only thing she had.  She was really upset, although she did tell me that her mate prefers her naked so…”  She coughed on seeing Zane’s irritated glare.  “Right, okay, after that a few more things started going missing, and I knew it couldn’t be me making all these mistakes – someone is stealing them off my line.  It might not seem like much, but people depend on me for their washing, and I depend on the favors they do me in return.  It’s embarrassing – soon the whole neighborhood won’t have any underwear!  The SEA won’t do anything about it – they don’t think it’s worth their time.”

Zane had to agree with them – with murderers and rapists running around the city, a few lost pairs of panties were nothing.  But work was work – no matter what his haughty bear thought.  However, there was the matter of payment.

“Mrs. Demeter… Dodi, I don’t work for free.”

She bit her lip and gave him a sad look.  Unfortunately, it reminded him of his mother – the queen of emotional blackmail.

“I can’t exactly pay you money.”

“Exactly?”

“I can’t pay you money at all.  But, I have a proposition for you…”

Lord, he hoped it didn’t involve sexual favors – he got enough of those offers from his landlady.  Dodi seemed like a sweet enough old lady, but she was older than his mom, and he feared he would strangle her if she started gossiping at him again.

“My husband’s boss is looking for a private investigator for another matter, and I could ask him to recommend you.  And I would do your laundry for a month and bake you two, no, three pies.”

He was all set to say no, but his bear halted at the word
pies
.  Every bear had his weakness – and for just about every bear, it was pie.  Baked or the female kind – they were both good.  “What kind of pie?”

“What kind would you like?”

“Peach and raspberry.”  No brainer. 
Sweet and tart
.

“Done.”

“Deal.  But – this is contingent on me getting a job from your husband’s boss.”

“Of course.  I’ll pass on your details and start baking a pie this afternoon – one now and the other two when the job is done.  You can bring over your laundry whenever you want.”

Zane pretended to ponder that.  “Tough but fair.”

Dodi beamed at him, and he wondered if maybe his anger was abating a little.  Maybe he was going soft.  But then, he didn’t have anything else going on, and he sure did love pie.

*

Sky frowned as she noticed the van parked across from her apartment block.  It had been around a lot in the last week, and there always seemed to be someone in there.  It was… creepy.  She’d called LLPD, but the van had moved away before they could arrive.  She gave the LLPD the license plate, but it wasn’t stolen and really whoever was in the van wasn’t technically doing anything wrong.  Loitering maybe, but the cops would just move them along anyway.  The officer did tell her to call if the van showed up again, but there was nothing else to do.  But then, maybe they’d just disappear again.

Inhaling deeply and with a little encouragement from her unicorn, she strode across the street, determined to find out just what they were doing.  Before she could get there, the driver who looked like he had been sleeping jerked in his seat, spilling coffee and putting the van in drive, peeling away from her.

Huh
.  Now that was a little suspicious.

Maybe they were federal officers staking someone out – but then if they were legit, wouldn’t they have invented a plausible reason for being there?

Sky sighed as her cell phone rang and she rejected a call from her ex, Ethan.  Nope, not talking to him ever again.  She’d finally grown a backbone where he was concerned. 
Useless wolf
.

She fell and fell hard for him, putting up with angry outbursts and jealous rants - dopily thinking she could change him.  She went to counseling with him to try and get his rages under control, even biting her tongue when he blamed his issues on her for emasculating him and earning more money than him.  Hey, was she stopping him from getting a job?  Considering that he got fired for punching his boss, it was safe to say he was angry before she had to support him.  But, against all sense and reason, she’d loved him – he was a huge, dominant wolf shifter and she loved his alpha personality.  Loved him so much she even trusted him enough to show him the truth about her animal – something she rarely did for anyone.  He’d taken one look at her beautiful animal and shrugged and said,
well, you’re still just a horse
.  Yep, he wasn’t fazed or impressed at all.  She’d told herself she was glad about that – others went speechless when they saw her for the first time.  But on reflection, she was a little disappointed that he wasn’t even a little bit pleased by her revelation - perhaps another indication that he was really too self-absorbed to care about her.