The Battle of Darcy Lane (16 page)

There is a moment
, after the curtain opens, right after the conductor raises his hands or his pick, when the whole band, the whole world, seems to be holding its breath. But it is not
holding
, it is
waiting to inhale
.

Someone might cough in the audience, someone might whisper to the person next to them, but the band doesn't hear any of that, not in any real way. The band is waiting, poised, so that it can take that one last inhale before everything takes off and the rest of the concert is like a runaway train, no brakes.

I savored that moment, that pause before the inhale, thinking that it was possible it would be the moment
before everything really changed, before
I
changed somehow and for good.

It was definitely our best
performance of
The Carnival of the Animals
, and when this one part came during the piece called
Aquarium
, right after a clarinet solo that Laney played brilliantly, and the horns swelled, I seriously thought I was going to cry. Because I'd nailed it and I guess a lot of other people had, too, because it felt like we all had.

During the applause I looked out at the audience and saw my parents, with that empty seat next to them, and I thought about Wendy and felt bad about making fun of her, even if only in my head, for stickers and wanting to play duets. At least she was passionate about stuff. Like I was, like Laney was. Peter, too.

Alyssa and Taylor didn't seem passionate about anything.

Not even Russia, not really.

When we all got up to take a bow at the end of the show, I felt like I had on the skyscraper that day—so small that I was large at the same time. I had to work really hard to get control of the muscles in my face, and I didn't dare look across the way at Peter and his trumpet because I knew that would make me lose it.

Laney reached over and squeezed my hand, and I squeezed hers back.

When I saw my parents
in the lobby, I ran to Mom and she hugged me. I couldn't fight tears any longer.

“I'm so sorry,” I said. “About Wendy.”

She hugged me harder and said, “I know you are, Julia. I know you are.”

“And I'm so glad you signed me up for camp, and I'm sorry I was such a jerk about it.”

She pulled back and said, “You know your father and I are just doing our best.”

I nodded, wiping away tears.

We saw Laney in the parking lot and introduced our parents. Both our dads had taken the afternoon off, and our moms were instantly chatty. Then Laney and I hugged good-bye. “You'll keep in touch, right?” I asked.

“Of course, you dope.” She hugged me again. “We can email! Or even send letters! It'll be hip and old-fashioned. And they have to get us phones
eventually
. I mean, what is this, the Dark Ages?”

Pulling out of our hug, she flashed that smile of hers that made you want to
be
her. “And
promise me
you'll remember that when you get to elevens you have to keep
your eye on the ball and just trust that you can clap all fancy
without actually looking at your hands
, right?”

I laughed. “I'll remember.”

We went out to lunch
as a celebration, down at a nice restaurant on the bay. Right after we sat down, Peter and his family walked in. He smiled at me, and he looked so cute with his tie still on that I thought maybe things weren't so bad. Even if it was true about him going to a movie with Alyssa, I felt too bighearted and full to hold it against him right this second. Nobody suggested combining tables, and I was a little bit sad, but it wasn't up to me.

When we were done with our entrées, Peter came over, said hello, and slid into the empty seat next to me. “Big day tomorrow, huh?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I guess Alyssa told you when you were at the movies.”

“Um.” He tilted his head. “Huh?”

“Taylor said that you and Alyssa went to a movie last night.”

Peter made a face. “Not that I'm aware of.”

“Oh,” I said.

“She asked me, and I said no.”

I couldn't help it; I smiled and let my gaze drift toward my parents. They were talking happily, laughing at the
silly names of boats docked just outside the restaurant.

Leaning in to Peter, I said, “I'm
dying
to know what's in that trunk.” I pinched his arm. “You made me wait all weekend.”

“We'll watch soon.” His face brightened. “Hey, you want cake?”

I must have looked confused because he said, “My birthday.”

“Oh, happy birthday! Sure.”

“What about your parents?”

“Mom,” I said. “Do you guys want cake? It's Peter's birthday.”

“No, you go. Happy birthday, Peter!”

So I went and sat at Peter's table with his parents. We split a piece, he and I, because we were both too full already. Then it was time for checks to be paid and for us to go to separate cars and houses.

“You'll be there tomorrow?” I asked as we walked through the parking lot.

“Wouldn't miss it,” he said, and he gave me a high five, grabbing my hand as we hit and holding it for a long second.

Taylor was sitting on her
front porch reading when I got home, and I asked Mom if I could go over for a minute.

“You sure?”

I nodded and wondered when Taylor's sister was
coming home, whether she'd missed Taylor at all. “She seems lonely.”

It was the truth and it seemed to hit some soft spot in my mom because she nodded.

So I went over even though I knew Taylor was probably going to think I looked like a geek in my band clothes.

“You're reading?” I took a seat next to her.

“Yes, Julia. I read.”

I just nodded.

“Alyssa was looking for you.” Taylor turned down the corner of a page and put the book down behind her. “She wants to make sure you got her note.”

“Yeah. I got it.”

“I'm tired of this whole Russia thing.” Taylor stretched her legs out in front of her. “What is it with you two anyway?”

I almost laughed but just shook my head. Because, really: What
was
it? Could I ever explain it? Did I even understand it? The way you just feel in your bones when you and another human being are just never going to be able to connect, no matter how hard you try. It was a mystery I wasn't sure I'd ever crack.

“We had a fight,” Taylor said. “Me and Alyssa.”

“About
what
?” I tried not to get too excited.

“She dared me to go skinny-dipping when Peter and Andrew were there, and I said no, and she called me a prude.”

“Oh,” I got stuck on the idea of Peter skinny-dipping at
Alyssa's house. “Did
they
all do it?”

“Andrew got in and took his shorts off but for like two seconds, and you couldn't see anything, not that I was looking.” Taylor looked at me superseriously, as if to make sure that last bit sunk it. “And Peter just said no way, no how.” She shook her head. “But she didn't call
him
a prude.” She sighed. “Anyway, she just wouldn't stop talking about it, so I told her to shut up, and she told me to eff off, only she didn't say eff.” She pulled her legs back up close to her body. “That's it.”

“Crazy.” I tried not to smile. “But for the record, I wouldn't have done it either.”

“Well, I
know that
, Julia.”

“She's been prank calling my house. Just calling and hanging up.”

Taylor didn't move an inch, and only said, “I honestly don't think she cares enough about you to do something like that.”

“I can't explain it,” I said.

Taylor got up to go inside.

When my parents went into
the living room for
End of Daze
, I said good night. And even though I was happy to be spending the evening settling into my new room, I was pretty grateful that
End of Daze
was only a miniseries,
not an ongoing thing, and that my parents wouldn't have this secret thing between them once summer was done. If it meant that Peter and I wouldn't have our secret for long either, that was okay. At the rate we were watching, I wasn't even sure we'd make it to the end.

I climbed into bed with my book, and I read and read and reached the scene where the truth about the face in the haunted pond—who it was, why it was there, everything—was about to be revealed. But the strangest thing happened. Right as I got to the very line where I was sure the old man who lived in the woods was going to blow the whole thing wide open, right as the girl and the cripple were going to have their life together changed forever, I closed the book.